Nostr notes by The Needling

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116531696032292785 To keep ...

2026-05-07T17:05:35Z

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116531696032292785

To keep Laurelhurst residents from ever having to hear helicopters transporting sick kids directly to the hospital, today the entire community was airlifted to permanent safety one mile away from Seattle Children’s into Lake Washington.
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RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116520614333689673 A new ...

2026-05-06T16:21:13Z

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116520614333689673

A new report confirmed today that Laurelhurst residents blocking helicopters carrying sick kids from landing directly at Seattle Children’s hospital because they’re too noisy ain’t heard motherfucking shit yet.
nostr:note1k3uv7zjd6gcrtnt0dxylxr77ar86pdupkmzuxmdu3ss06sg3nelqq82vag

New Study Shows Bellevue Exists Outside of Work Hours: ...

2026-04-13T14:03:33Z

New Study Shows Bellevue Exists Outside of Work Hours: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/01/new-study-shows-bellevue-exists-outside-of-work-hours/

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116395442008654340 ...

2026-04-13T05:14:59Z

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116395442008654340

“Should probably just make the best of it and start an OnlyFans," said Bigfoot when asked for comment. "There are worse ways to make money than sending weird guys videos of my Bigfoot toes squishing through mud. Can you imagine if I had to go to an office Monday morning?”
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Doctor Called After University Bridge Stuck in Upright Position ...

2026-04-02T04:59:00Z

Doctor Called After University Bridge Stuck in Upright Position for Over 4 Hours: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/03/doctor-called-after-university-bridge-stuck-in-upright-position-for-over-4-hours/

Pickleball Season Declared Open After Population of Courts Gets ...

2026-03-10T18:25:53Z

Pickleball Season Declared Open After Population of Courts Gets Out of Control: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/10/pickleball-season-declared-open-after-population-of-courts-gets-out-of-control/

Apocalyptic Earthquake Headed for Seattle Stuck In Everett ...

2026-03-05T01:07:38Z

Apocalyptic Earthquake Headed for Seattle Stuck In Everett Traffic: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/02/apocalyptic-earthquake-headed-for-seattle-stuck-in-everett-traffic/

K-Pod Yacht Hunters Chart with K-Pop Bop ‘Sunken’: ...

2026-02-14T04:06:43Z

K-Pod Yacht Hunters Chart with K-Pop Bop ‘Sunken’: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/13/k-pod-yacht-hunters-chart-with-k-pop-bop-sunken/

Research Shows Yakima Actually Nothing Like Palm Springs: ...

2026-02-06T05:21:00Z

Research Shows Yakima Actually Nothing Like Palm Springs: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/02/research-shows-yakima-actually-nothing-like-palm-springs/

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116016630343843853 After a ...

2026-02-05T16:23:09Z

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/116016630343843853

After a rough winter for everyone, one AirBnb host is contractually requiring their Leavenworth cabin renters to Live, Laugh and/or Love or else pay a $25 Love More Worry Less fee.

quoting
note1gkw…w5ex

Leavenworth Cabin Renters Now Contractually Obligated to Live, Laugh and/or Love:
https://theneedling.com/2026/02/04/leavenworth-cabin-renters-now-contractually-obligated-to-live-laugh-and-or-love/

Leavenworth Cabin Renters Now Contractually Obligated to Live, ...

2026-02-05T06:34:50Z

Leavenworth Cabin Renters Now Contractually Obligated to Live, Laugh and/or Love:
https://theneedling.com/2026/02/04/leavenworth-cabin-renters-now-contractually-obligated-to-live-laugh-and-or-love/

Six More Weeks of Wet Season Predicted as Geoduck Squirts All ...

2026-02-02T19:31:52Z

Six More Weeks of Wet Season Predicted as Geoduck Squirts All Over His Shadow: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/02/six-more-weeks-of-wet-season-predicted-as-geoduck-squirts-all-over-his-shadow/

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/115937141917008236 “ICE ...

2026-01-22T22:11:06Z

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/115937141917008236

“ICE is full of of Jan. 6 nutjobs that should be in jail. SPD has only had 6 Jan. 6 nutjobs that should probably be in jail.”

quoting
note1zv9…05v6

Phew! Armed Racist Assholes in Bulletproof Vests Just Local Cops: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/15/phew-armed-racist-assholes-in-bulletproof-vests-just-local-cops/

Phew! Armed Racist Assholes in Bulletproof Vests Just Local Cops: ...

2026-01-22T05:39:53Z

Phew! Armed Racist Assholes in Bulletproof Vests Just Local Cops: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/15/phew-armed-racist-assholes-in-bulletproof-vests-just-local-cops/

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/115886152427343298 Movie ...

2026-01-13T21:33:42Z

RE: https://newsie.social/@TheNeedling/115886152427343298

Movie critics and audiences alike seem to agree that the most anticipated film of 2026 will be a no less than 90-minute supercut of ICE agents slipping and cracking the back of their own empty skulls on ice before running away crying for their mamas.

quoting
note1p80…fn0q

Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/07/most-anticipated-movie-of-2026-just-90-straight-minutes-of-ice-slipping-on-ice/

Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE ...

2026-01-13T05:32:35Z

Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/07/most-anticipated-movie-of-2026-just-90-straight-minutes-of-ice-slipping-on-ice/

Federal Agents Shoot 2 People in Portland Who Threatened to ...

2026-01-09T04:51:07Z

Federal Agents Shoot 2 People in Portland Who Threatened to Exist: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/08/federal-agents-shoot-2-people-in-portland-threatening-to-exist/

Space Needle Puts On Stunning New Year’s Northern Lights Show: ...

2026-01-01T08:25:48Z

Space Needle Puts On Stunning New Year’s Northern Lights Show: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/03/space-needle-puts-on-stunning-new-years-northern-lights-show/

“Bigg’s orcas usually aren’t as picky about what they eat, ...

2026-01-01T06:42:00Z

In reply to nevent1q…ww2t
_________________________

“Bigg’s orcas usually aren’t as picky about what they eat, but this little rudder-snapper won’t eat a thing his mom puts in front of him unless she cuts it into little yacht shapes." https://theneedling.com/2025/11/27/picky-orca-calf-wont-eat-rich-unless-cut-into-little-yacht-shapes/

“They didn’t always kayak from one room of their house to ...

2026-01-01T06:41:01Z

In reply to nevent1q…k883
_________________________

“They didn’t always kayak from one room of their house to another?” https://theneedling.com/2025/12/18/nation-just-kinda-assumed-pacific-northwest-always-lived-in-giant-puddle-like-that/

After weeks of trying to strike up friendly conversations with ...

2026-01-01T06:39:42Z

In reply to nevent1q…pzmy
_________________________

After weeks of trying to strike up friendly conversations with people about their neighbors, lonely and distraught local ICE Agent Martin Briggs says no one is talking to him here because of the Seattle Freeze: https://theneedling.com/2025/02/04/ice-agent-says-no-one-will-talk-to-him-here-because-of-the-seattle-freeze/

In response to multiple threats by the United States to turn ...

2026-01-01T06:38:53Z

In reply to nevent1q…7xnk
_________________________

In response to multiple threats by the United States to turn Canada into the 51st state, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney surprised Canadians and Washingtonians by declaring Washington Canada’s 11th Province: https://theneedling.com/2025/03/22/canada-makes-washington-11th-province/

✨The Needling’s Top Ten Stories of 2025✨ Good afternoon, ...

2026-01-01T06:37:55Z

✨The Needling’s Top Ten Stories of 2025✨ Good afternoon, engulfed Cybertruck. Goodbye, 2025. Goodluck, 2026. https://theneedling.com/2025/03/18/parks-dept-says-cybertruck-fires-must-be-put-out-by-10-p-m/

Local Apathy Levels Off the Charts According to Study We Almost ...

2025-12-30T05:29:06Z

Local Apathy Levels Off the Charts According to Study We Almost Did: https://theneedling.com/2025/11/20/local-apathy-levels-off-the-charts-according-to-study-we-almost-did/

Seattle Man Leaves Out Plate of Cheese for When St. Rat Comes Up ...

2025-12-25T04:40:44Z

Seattle Man Leaves Out Plate of Cheese for When St. Rat Comes Up Through Toilet Tonight: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/24/seattle-man-leaves-out-plate-of-cheese-for-when-st-rat-comes-up-through-toilet-tonight/

New Children’s Book ‘Good Afternoon Moon’ Celebrates ...

2025-12-22T03:38:56Z

New Children’s Book ‘Good Afternoon Moon’ Celebrates Seattle’s Painfully Early Sunsets: https://theneedling.com/2025/11/19/new-childrens-book-good-afternoon-moon-celebrates-seattles-painfully-early-sunsets/

Emergency Declared After President Actually Declares Emergency ...

2025-12-13T07:22:54Z

Emergency Declared After President Actually Declares Emergency When Blue State Asked: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/12/emergency-declared-after-president-actually-declares-emergency-when-blue-state-asked/

Atmospheric River Runs Wild Waves Out of Business: ...

2025-12-11T05:59:24Z

Atmospheric River Runs Wild Waves Out of Business: https://theneedling.com/2025/11/04/atmospheric-river-runs-wild-waves-out-of-business/

Family Not Sure What to Do with Other Trees in Costco Christmas ...

2025-12-03T03:06:28Z

Family Not Sure What to Do with Other Trees in Costco Christmas 6-Pack: https://theneedling.com/2025/10/16/family-not-sure-what-to-do-with-other-trees-in-costco-christmas-6-pack/

Venezuela Bombs American Drug Yacht, Wiping Out Entire Sackler ...

2025-12-02T05:08:46Z

Venezuela Bombs American Drug Yacht, Wiping Out Entire Sackler Family Cartel: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/01/venezuela-bombs-american-drug-yacht-wiping-out-entire-sackler-family-cartel/

East Bezos Ball Demolished to Make Way for More Ball Room: ...

2025-10-25T05:27:29Z

East Bezos Ball Demolished to Make Way for More Ball Room: https://theneedling.com/2025/10/24/east-bezos-ball-demolished-to-make-way-for-more-ball-room/

Festive Local Man Already Putting Out Winter Depression ...

2025-10-23T03:58:23Z

Festive Local Man Already Putting Out Winter Depression Decorations: https://theneedling.com/2025/09/05/festive-local-man-already-putting-out-winter-depression-decorations/

Spoiled Mariners Fan Wanted AL Pennant Too: ...

2025-10-21T03:21:48Z

Spoiled Mariners Fan Wanted AL Pennant Too: https://theneedling.com/2025/10/20/spoiled-mariners-fan-wanted-al-pennant-too/

ICE Detains Leaves as They Turn Brown: ...

2025-10-15T06:24:48Z

ICE Detains Leaves as They Turn Brown: https://theneedling.com/2025/09/04/ice-detains-leaves-as-they-turn-brown/

‘Unfortunately Worth It,’ Says Charlie Kirk Bleeding Out from ...

2025-09-10T20:07:00Z

‘Unfortunately Worth It,’ Says Charlie Kirk Bleeding Out from Gunshot Wound: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/04/unfortunately-worth-it-says-charlie-kirk-bleeding-out-from-gunshot-wound/

Bellingham Expels Citizen with Normal Name: ...

2025-09-09T04:52:13Z

Bellingham Expels Citizen with Normal Name: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/03/bellingham-expels-citizen-with-normal-name/

Waymo Trying to Get Through 5-Way Green Lake Stop Spontaneously ...

2025-09-03T23:39:37Z

Waymo Trying to Get Through 5-Way Green Lake Stop Spontaneously Combusts:
https://theneedling.com/2025/09/03/waymo-trying-to-get-through-5-way-green-lake-stop-spontaneously-combusts/

Flocks of White Women Seen Flying North As Pumpkin Spice Season ...

2025-08-27T23:04:06Z

Flocks of White Women Seen Flying North As Pumpkin Spice Season Begins: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/27/flocks-of-white-women-seen-flying-north-as-pumpkin-spice-season-begins/

Dick Pic Text Autocorrects Eggplant Emoji to Carrot: ...

2025-08-21T07:11:34Z

Dick Pic Text Autocorrects Eggplant Emoji to Carrot:
https://theneedling.com/2025/07/21/dick-pic-text-autocorrects-eggplant-emoji-to-carrot/

Microsoft Implements Return to Work Somewhere Else Policy: ...

2025-08-16T03:24:05Z

Microsoft Implements Return to Work Somewhere Else Policy: https://theneedling.com/2025/07/18/microsoft-implements-return-to-work-somewhere-else-policy/

Light Rail to Eastside Delayed Again as I-90 Bridge Troll Asks ...

2025-08-13T05:20:42Z

Light Rail to Eastside Delayed Again as I-90 Bridge Troll Asks Particularly Challenging Riddle: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/12/light-rail-to-eastside-delayed-again-as-i-90-bridge-troll-asks-particularly-challenging-riddle/

Office Workers Secretly Waiting for Landing Seaplane to ...

2025-07-31T01:24:12Z

Office Workers Secretly Waiting for Landing Seaplane to Decapitate Paddleboarder: https://theneedling.com/2025/07/30/office-workers-secretly-waiting-for-landing-seaplane-to-decapitate-paddleboarder/

Opponents of Denny Blaine Nude Beach Propose DeGenitalized Zone: ...

2025-07-29T21:17:16Z

Opponents of Denny Blaine Nude Beach Propose DeGenitalized Zone: https://theneedling.com/2025/06/18/opponents-of-denny-blaine-nude-beach-propose-degenitalized-zone/

Prime Day Deals on Billionaire Hair Loss Treatments: ...

2025-07-10T02:48:10Z

Prime Day Deals on Billionaire Hair Loss Treatments: https://theneedling.com/2025/06/03/prime-day-deals-on-billionaire-hair-loss-treatments/

Bruce Harrell Endorsers Encouraged to Blink Twice If They Need ...

2025-06-24T05:21:45Z

Bruce Harrell Endorsers Encouraged to Blink Twice If They Need Help: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/26/bruce-harrell-endorsers-encouraged-to-blink-twice-if-they-need-help/

Nation Agrees Your Tiny, One-Road Country Town Definitely The One ...

2025-06-17T15:50:29Z

Nation Agrees Your Tiny, One-Road Country Town Definitely The One Getting Nuked by Iran: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/19/nation-agrees-your-tiny-one-road-country-town-definitely-the-one-getting-nuked-by-iran/

Sexual Tension Builds Between the Two Guys in the Microsoft Teams ...

2025-06-09T23:04:32Z

Sexual Tension Builds Between the Two Guys in the Microsoft Teams Logo:
https://theneedling.com/2025/05/09/sexual-tension-builds-between-the-two-guys-in-the-microsoft-teams-logo/

Ballard Farmers Market Begins Being Provided for Ambiance Only: ...

2025-06-09T18:56:06Z

Ballard Farmers Market Begins Being Provided for Ambiance Only: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/08/ballard-farmers-market-begins-being-provided-for-ambiance-only/

‘Seattle Weather Really Not That Bad,’ Says Man Who Moved ...

2025-06-07T03:17:37Z

‘Seattle Weather Really Not That Bad,’ Says Man Who Moved Here 4 Weeks Ago: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/05/seattle-weather-really-not-that-bad-says-man-who-moved-here-4-weeks-ago/

SPD to Provide 200 Officers to Guard Fluffy Animal Torture Event ...

2025-05-30T04:38:00Z

SPD to Provide 200 Officers to Guard Fluffy Animal Torture Event at Seattle Center: https://theneedling.com/2025/04/05/spd-to-provide-200-officers-to-guard-fluffy-animal-torture-event-at-seattle-center/

ICE Deports Mariner Moose Back to Canada: ...

2025-05-09T21:52:12Z

ICE Deports Mariner Moose Back to Canada: https://theneedling.com/2025/03/09/ice-deports-mariner-moose-back-to-canada/

Hungover Pete Hegseth Mortified He Posted Military Secrets on I-5 ...

2025-05-07T18:22:47Z

Hungover Pete Hegseth Mortified He Posted Military Secrets on I-5 Uncle Sam Billboard: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/07/hungover-pete-hegseth-mortified-he-posted-military-secrets-on-i-5-uncle-sam-billboard/

Seattle City Council Begins Ethics Code Meeting with Brand ...

2025-05-06T19:48:00Z

Seattle City Council Begins Ethics Code Meeting with Brand Acknowledgement: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/06/seattle-city-council-begins-ethics-code-meeting-with-brand-acknowledgement/

Bezos’ Balls Reported Missing After Amazon Backs Down on ...

2025-04-30T04:55:24Z

Bezos’ Balls Reported Missing After Amazon Backs Down on Listing Tariff Charges: https://theneedling.com/2025/04/29/bezos-balls-reported-missing-after-amazon-backs-down-on-listing-tariff-charges/

Car-Free Pike Place Market Just Not Same without Threat of Being ...

2025-04-24T05:14:48Z

Car-Free Pike Place Market Just Not Same without Threat of Being Run Over: https://theneedling.com/2025/04/23/car-free-pike-place-market-just-not-same-without-threat-of-being-run-over/

‘Are You Celebrating This Weekend?’ How to Tell If Your ...

2025-04-18T17:47:32Z

‘Are You Celebrating This Weekend?’ How to Tell If Your Coworker Means Easter or 4/20: https://theneedling.com/2025/02/16/are-you-celebrating-this-weekend-how-to-tell-if-your-coworker-means-easter-or-4-20/

Mother Earth Fired for Being DEI Planet: ...

2025-04-14T18:34:15Z

Mother Earth Fired for Being DEI Planet: https://theneedling.com/2025/02/03/mother-earth-fired-for-being-dei-planet/

Seattleite Emerges from Winter Cocoon as Anti-Social Butterfly: ...

2025-04-04T16:25:23Z

Seattleite Emerges from Winter Cocoon as Anti-Social Butterfly: https://theneedling.com/2025/04/04/seattleite-emerges-from-winter-cocoon-as-anti-social-butterfly/

Pink Pony Club? These Cherry Blossoms Keep Flashing Everyone ...

2025-03-30T19:37:53Z

Pink Pony Club? These Cherry Blossoms Keep Flashing Everyone Their Petals: https://theneedling.com/2025/01/29/pink-pony-club-these-cherry-blossoms-keep-flashing-everyone-their-petals/

Ichiro Throws the Ceremonial First Fish: ...

2025-03-28T02:42:03Z

Ichiro Throws the Ceremonial First Fish: https://theneedling.com/2025/01/26/ichiro-throws-the-ceremonial-first-fish/

Local Idiot Thinks SoDo Has Always Meant ‘South Of Downtown’: ...

2025-03-27T04:09:35Z

Local Idiot Thinks SoDo Has Always Meant ‘South Of Downtown’: https://theneedling.com/2025/01/25/local-idiot-thinks-sodo-has-always-meant-south-of-downtown/

Canada Makes Washington 11th Province: ...

2025-03-22T15:39:56Z

Canada Makes Washington 11th Province: https://theneedling.com/2025/01/23/canada-makes-washington-11th-province/

Parks Dept. Says Cybertruck Fires Must Be Put Out By 10 p.m.: ...

2025-03-19T02:20:36Z

Parks Dept. Says Cybertruck Fires Must Be Put Out By 10 p.m.: https://theneedling.com/2025/03/18/parks-dept-says-cybertruck-fires-must-be-put-out-by-10-p-m/

RFK Jr. Believes Vaccines Cause March Madness: ...

2025-03-17T19:29:51Z

RFK Jr. Believes Vaccines Cause March Madness: https://theneedling.com/2025/01/15/rfk-jr-believes-vaccines-cause-march-madness/

Man Irritated by Pride Month Excited to Celebrate 1/37th Irish ...

2025-03-17T18:55:01Z

Man Irritated by Pride Month Excited to Celebrate 1/37th Irish Heritage:https://theneedling.com/2025/01/11/man-irritated-by-pride-month-excited-to-celebrate-1-37th-irish-heritage/

Nazi Knocked Out Cold by Mean Capitol Hill Sticker: ...

2025-02-28T05:14:38Z

Nazi Knocked Out Cold by Mean Capitol Hill Sticker: https://theneedling.com/2024/12/20/nazi-knocked-out-cold-by-mean-capitol-hill-sticker/

New Study Finds 90% of Cat Owners Experience ...

2025-02-01T03:17:35Z

New Study Finds 90% of Cat Owners Experience oofjfjjggigiiiiifohhhjjfjfjjjjj)))))))))))))): https://theneedling.com/2024/11/29/new-study-finds-90-of-cat-owners-experience-oofjfjjggigiiiiifohhhjjfjfjjjjj/

Boeing Reflexively Publishes Apology Statement: ...

2025-01-31T05:37:47Z

Boeing Reflexively Publishes Apology Statement: https://theneedling.com/2024/11/28/boeing-reflexively-publishes-apology-statement/

Nestlé Scrambles to Bottle LA’s Remaining Water Before ...

2025-01-18T01:26:59Z

Nestlé Scrambles to Bottle LA’s Remaining Water Before Firefighters Give It All Away for Free: https://theneedling.com/2025/01/17/nestle-scrambles-to-bottle-las-remaining-water-before-firefighters-give-it-all-away-for-free/

Rescue Shelter Cats Flown in from California to Seattle Humane ...

2025-01-14T06:03:12Z

Rescue Shelter Cats Flown in from California to Seattle Humane Already Complaining About the Mexican Food: https://theneedling.com/2025/01/13/rescue-shelter-cats-flown-in-from-california-to-seattle-humane-already-complaining-about-the-mexican-food/

Bluesky Holdout Just Not Sure If It’s Controlled by Shitty ...

2025-01-09T05:30:46Z

Bluesky Holdout Just Not Sure If It’s Controlled by Shitty Enough Rich Asshole Yet: https://theneedling.com/2024/11/21/bluesky-holdout-just-not-sure-if-its-controlled-by-shitty-enough-rich-asshole-yet/

Christmas Cancelled After Santa’s Boeing Sleigh Falls Apart: ...

2024-12-25T07:48:01Z

Christmas Cancelled After Santa’s Boeing Sleigh Falls Apart: https://theneedling.com/2024/11/09/christmas-cancelled-after-santas-boeing-sleigh-falls-apart/

Report: Grinch’s Heart Actually Enlarged from Cocaine Use: ...

2024-12-25T05:20:19Z

Report: Grinch’s Heart Actually Enlarged from Cocaine Use: https://theneedling.com/2024/11/07/report-grinchs-heart-actually-enlarged-from-cocaine-use/

Santa Tracker Reveals Shocking Extent of Reindeer Emissions: ...

2024-12-25T02:10:45Z

Santa Tracker Reveals Shocking Extent of Reindeer Emissions: https://theneedling.com/2024/11/08/santa-tracker-reveals-shocking-extent-of-reindeer-emissions/

Hunky Rural Christmas Tree Farmers Tired of Hallmark Movie ...

2024-12-24T05:31:27Z

Hunky Rural Christmas Tree Farmers Tired of Hallmark Movie Objectification: https://theneedling.com/2024/11/07/hunky-rural-christmas-tree-farmers-tired-of-hallmark-movie-objectification/

Gingerbread House Day Sparks Discussions Around the Very Real ...

2024-12-13T03:58:26Z

Gingerbread House Day Sparks Discussions Around the Very Real Issue of Gingerfrication: https://theneedling.com/2024/12/12/gingerbread-house-day-sparks-discussions-around-the-very-real-issue-of-gingerfrication/

Amazon Cuts Out Middle Man, Will Now Steal Your Packages ...

2024-12-12T02:07:38Z

Amazon Cuts Out Middle Man, Will Now Steal Your Packages Themselves: https://theneedling.com/2024/12/11/amazon-cuts-out-middle-man-will-now-steal-your-packages-themselves/

McDonald’s Employee Can’t Wait to Spend $60k Bounty on ...

2024-12-09T23:31:00Z

McDonald’s Employee Can’t Wait to Spend $60k Bounty on Overnight Stay at Hospital: https://theneedling.com/2024/10/18/mcdonalds-employee-cant-wait-to-spend-60k-bounty-on-one-overnight-stay-at-hospital/

Parents Mortified as Kids Turn Elf on the Shelf Into Snitch in ...

2024-12-06T03:20:14Z

Parents Mortified as Kids Turn Elf on the Shelf Into Snitch in the Ditch: https://theneedling.com/2024/10/14/parents-mortified-as-kids-turn-elf-on-the-shelf-into-snitch-in-the-ditch/

Scalper Bots Trample Consumers During Cyber Monday Sale: ...

2024-12-03T01:43:30Z

Scalper Bots Trample Consumers During Cyber Monday Sale: https://theneedling.com/2024/12/02/scalper-bots-trample-consumers-during-cyber-monday-sale/

SPD Officer Instinctively Turns Off Body Cam Before Approaching ...

2024-11-26T23:42:59Z

SPD Officer Instinctively Turns Off Body Cam Before Approaching Dark Turkey Meat: https://theneedling.com/2024/10/02/spd-officer-instinctively-turns-off-body-cam-before-approaching-dark-turkey-meat/

Man Worried All-Gender Bathroom Not Safe for Women Now That ...

2024-11-21T05:20:04Z

Man Worried All-Gender Bathroom Not Safe for Women Now That He’s In It: https://theneedling.com/2024/09/27/man-worried-all-gender-bathroom-not-safe-for-women-now-that-hes-in-it/

Tribal Leaders Intrigued by Talk of Immigrant Mass Deportations: ...

2024-11-18T21:16:24Z

Tribal Leaders Intrigued by Talk of Immigrant Mass Deportations: https://theneedling.com/2024/09/22/tribal-leaders-intrigued-by-talk-of-immigrant-mass-deportations/

The Needling Buys KOMO: ...

2024-11-14T18:28:20Z

The Needling Buys KOMO: https://theneedling.com/2024/09/21/the-needling-buys-komo/

Fun Sized Candy Isn’t: ...

2024-10-30T01:43:33Z

Fun Sized Candy Isn’t: https://theneedling.com/2024/09/07/fun-sized-candy-isnt/

Boeing Threatens Striking Workers with Airline Tickets: ...

2024-10-25T03:09:10Z

Boeing Threatens Striking Workers with Airline Tickets: https://theneedling.com/2024/09/03/boeing-threatens-striking-workers-with-airline-tickets/

Landlord Raises Pet Rent After Discovery of Wasp Nest: ...

2024-10-23T04:18:56Z

Landlord Raises Pet Rent After Discovery of Wasp Nest: https://theneedling.com/2024/09/01/landlord-raises-pet-rent-after-discovery-of-wasp-nest/

Rain Brings Wild Couch Hunting Season to a Close: ...

2024-10-19T04:16:11Z

Rain Brings Wild Couch Hunting Season to a Close: https://theneedling.com/2024/08/31/rain-brings-wild-couch-hunting-season-to-a-close/

Man Buys Artisan Loaf at Met Market, Forever Abandoning Dreams of ...

2024-10-01T03:19:56Z

Man Buys Artisan Loaf at Met Market, Forever Abandoning Dreams of Home Ownership: https://theneedling.com/2024/08/17/man-buys-artisan-loaf-at-met-market-forever-abandoning-dreams-of-home-ownership/

Mariners Ask Macklemore to Be Less Divisive Like Longtime Team ...

2024-09-26T01:48:52Z

Mariners Ask Macklemore to Be Less Divisive Like Longtime Team Sponsor Boeing: https://theneedling.com/2024/08/10/mariners-ask-macklemore-to-be-less-divisive-like-longtime-team-sponsor-boeing/

Amazon Compromises, Will Allow 2 Work-from-Home Days a Week on ...

2024-09-23T21:09:57Z

Amazon Compromises, Will Allow 2 Work-from-Home Days a Week on Saturdays and Sundays: https://theneedling.com/2024/09/23/amazon-compromises-will-allow-2-work-from-home-days-a-week-on-saturdays-and-sundays/

Research Shows Yakima Actually Nothing Like Palm Springs: ...

2024-09-17T17:51:53Z

Research Shows Yakima Actually Nothing Like Palm Springs: https://theneedling.com/2024/08/04/research-shows-yakima-actually-nothing-like-palm-springs/

Return-to-Office Email Obviously Just Layoff without Severance: ...

2024-09-17T17:33:35Z

Return-to-Office Email Obviously Just Layoff without Severance: https://theneedling.com/2024/08/03/return-to-office-email-obviously-just-layoff-without-severance/

Poll Shows Your Mother Wishes You Called as Much as the DNC: ...

2024-08-19T18:22:20Z

Poll Shows Your Mother Wishes You Called as Much as the DNC: https://theneedling.com/2024/07/05/poll-shows-your-mother-wishes-you-called-as-much-as-the-dnc/

Presidents of the USA Relieved by SCOTUS Immunity Decision After ...

2024-08-19T18:03:58Z

Presidents of the USA Relieved by SCOTUS Immunity Decision After Running Over Drifter With Tour Bus: https://theneedling.com/2024/07/04/presidents-of-the-usa-relieved-by-scotus-immunity-decision-after-running-over-drifter-with-tour-bus/

How to Mentally Prepare Yourself for the Mariners’ Season to ...

2024-08-19T03:05:30Z

How to Mentally Prepare Yourself for the Mariners’ Season to Collapse Like the Tacoma Narrows Bridge: https://theneedling.com/2022/07/01/how-to-mentally-prepare-yourself-for-the-mariners-season-to-collapse-like-the-tacoma-narrows-bridge/

WSDOT Announces Plan to Build Bridge Out of Decommissioned ...

2024-08-16T16:58:37Z

WSDOT Announces Plan to Build Bridge Out of Decommissioned Ferries: https://theneedling.com/2024/08/16/wsdot-announces-plan-to-build-bridge-out-of-decommissioned-ferries/

Childless Woman with Cat Allergies Just Wants to Feel Included in ...

2024-07-29T19:34:32Z

Childless Woman with Cat Allergies Just Wants to Feel Included in Misogynist Tirades: https://theneedling.com/2024/06/23/childless-woman-with-cat-allergies-just-wants-to-feel-included-in-misogynist-tirades/