Nostr notes by raedwyer

This was fun to read. 20-60 hours tho - that is a bigggg range

2026-05-24T20:43:18Z

In reply to nevent1q…f3fd
_________________________

This was fun to read. 20-60 hours tho - that is a bigggg range

This week I got in front of a woman to talk positioning because I ...

2026-05-17T18:52:36Z

This week I got in front of a woman
to talk positioning
because I continue to overcomplicate my message to absolute fuck.

I know it is preventing the people who really need my incredible work from getting in.

She takes no prisoners.
spends the first half of the call drilling me

What do you do?
My chest gets hot.

How would you explain it to a third grader?
Hotter still.

I realise how vulnerable it is
to say it as it is.

But then she pulls up my poetry
the expression that floods me
flattens my over-explaining
forces me to say the thing
and she's like:

This is brilliant. This spoke to me.

...why don't you just write poetry?!

I have never been SO nailed and so lit up at the same time.

Laughter exploded out of me.

I have filled containers writing only poetry.
It is my favourite way to speak my mission into life.

I told her I'd been reading aloud at open mics

Her eyes widened
like: Duh
Hello
the writing is on the wall

It nailed me because I realised
I can have that.

I can write in the medium of my flow state
do my medicine work
undistracted and in my lane

I don't have to strain until I shit myself
trying to crack a code
that's been under my nose the entire time.

In a space that is saturated with dead AI script
poetry is gloriously alive.

Over the last year
I have closed a lifetimes-long loop
of exhausting hustle
and endless healing

I let the spinning plates shatter
I let myself be.

I am relaxed
resourced
cherished
trusting.

My spiralling mind
rooted down
through an open heart
and a grounded womb.

decoding my brick shit house brain
gave me the mastery to initiate
across the most important threshold of life -

Spiritual surrender
Letting go of control

I.e that thing that makes everything else work
that makes life feel like it's working

I'm having my best month in business in a while

It's been slowly building
after years of feast and famine
of being taken down
again and again
by an almighty grip
by a body that never learned how to be.

that straight talking woman
reflecting the obvious:

go write the poetry
go do the thing that is natural
as natural as being

was everything.

#pleb #nostr #plebchain #letgoofcontrol

Restless woman. There is a swarm of bees behind your eyes that ...

2026-05-15T09:36:24Z

Restless woman.

There is a swarm of bees behind your eyes
that replaced the swing in your hips.

There is an almighty din inside you
schreeching over the truth.

There is a depth
a pulse
a luminous dark
that you hemorrhage your resources
on staying suspended
just above.

You string yourself up.
Because you don’t know who you are
without the glorified puppetry of survival.

Restless woman
I placed my fingertips
on the furrow of your brow
I pulled the threads down
from the knots in your head.

I made them into roots
and gave them back
to the soil.

I touched your feet
I put weights in your soles

So that you’d give up
the fantasy of flight
of quietly sneaking out the back door of your own life

Restless woman, you are an infinity that you will never escape from.

An eternity that longs to anoint you.
An endlessness that yearns to envelope you.
An emptiness and a fullness that wants nothing more
than to rest in you.

Restless woman
have you stayed still
for long enough to feel God
inside your own body?

Have you held the void’s gaze
fervently enough
to see your own reflection?

Haven’t you played out this exhausting charade
for long enough?

#pleb #nostr #gm #letgo

Can we take a moment to acknowledge the fact that as I was ...

2026-04-15T19:57:03Z

Can we take a moment to acknowledge the fact that as I was holding my phone just now, it randomly started charging without being plugged in.

I noticed that my thumb was resting on the port. I moved it. It stopped charging.

I’m an electric bitch

Laptop and lizard multi tasker here hahaha #nevent1q…83s9

2026-04-10T21:09:13Z

Laptop and lizard multi tasker here hahaha

quoting
nevent1q…83s9
People who can work on a laptop in the direct sun are an evolved version of the human race that I aspire to become.

I simply cannot laptop and lizard,

it’s one or the other, and it’s a daily battle to decide which to prioritize.

My life and work feels MIRACULOUS after making the following ...

2026-04-09T15:38:56Z

My life and work feels MIRACULOUS after making the following change:

I went to another open mic to play piano last night. It was a different one. A tiny, super packed out little pub.

I am chill up until the point when I walk in and see how busy AND intimate it is.

I can barely concentrate and stare through the barman for a second before gathering myself and blurting out that I want an orange juice, which I never drink.

I almost didn’t go up to the woman running it. I was technically too late. I could have just left it. And it was like a wind at my back that carried me over to her anyway. She said she’d squeeze me in.

Great.

But when we sit down I notice something.

I notice where my mind wants to go and where it has gone the last few times: it wants to obsessively picture the piano keys and play the song internally over and over and over and over again because it’s convinced I’ll forget it. It wants to hyper-fixate on that particular part that I froze on, the last time I played.

It is absolutely DESPERATE for certainty. And I realised how untenable that desperation now was. I couldn’t actually run it anymore. Because it just isn’t who I am anymore.

I am not someone who believes they are gonna forget a song that I wrote, that I have played a trillion times. I am not someone who bends to that kind of mental gymnastics.

It was like every cell of me saw and felt how absurd my mind was being.

And I gave it up.

I handed it over.

And tears pricked at my eyes because this kind of surrender still really gets me.

How simple and beautiful it is to feel the holding on the other side of the mental grip.

Something clicked when I played that night. My hands relaxed more. The expression of the music had space to come through instead of me just white knuckling to get through it.

Every time I have gone to play I wanna walk out as soon as I walk in. Same goes when I read my poetry. It is still utterly vomit inducing.

I actually consider it. I consider what it would be like if I just… walked out. And the pang of self abandonment is worse than the spicy as fuck exposure of staying.

It won’t get easier for me. I won’t let it get easier. That’s not the goal.

The point is that I lean into the edges that I think will kill me and I become more of myself.

My mind gets even quieter.

My body lets go even more deeply.

I get closer to life

Closer to God.

And I get to be in a state of gooey-hearted flow in my day to day, more and more, as a default setting, because in choosing not to collapse into what is easy (walking out of that pub, walking out on myself) I get to experience true EASE.

Every time I actively lean into the spicy spice

the noise in my mind goes down another handful of decibels

the grip in my body melts off

the addiction to distracting myself drops back even further

The fear of failure, of not being enough, of not “living up to the mark” loses its power.

I get more free.

It transfers into my creative work and business
into putting offerings out into the world
into the uncertainty and exposure of it all
into my leadership and the way I show up for clients
into the way I hold myself under pressure.

When I am not protecting myself
I allow myself to be fully supported
and it is the most miraculous and beautiful thing.
And it is what I walk others through.

I hold people through the moments where they abandon themselves to fear, so that they learn how to stay, and keep staying.

Because who you are in those moments
and how you hold yourself
is what sustains momentum
is what creates results in your business
is what allows you to LIVE in flow
and stay connected without flopping in and out.

When you hold this kind of standard for yourself
you don’t doubt your potential
or your ability to fulfil it
it’s not even up for debate

You ARE potential.

I read a post recently slagging off urgency in marketing. I ...

2026-02-28T11:36:11Z

I read a post recently slagging off urgency in marketing. I thought it was funny.

Because something I have learned upon unravelling fear-based urgency programming inside my body, is that when urgency has clean and concise energy driving it, it fucking SERVES.

Time IS a finite resource.
Urgency is real.

If you delay transformation when you know it is due, YOU LOSE.

If you don't step across a threshold when it presents itself, YOU LOSE.

If you choose your distractions, personal drama and fears when you had an opportunity to choose yourself, YOU LOSE.

You lose time that you cannot get back.

The perfection of everything still stands.
But using that as an excuse not to move is a fluffy romanticization and avoids reality.

My work is threshold work.
You don't have time to faff.
You don't have time to stay the same.

You don't have time, period.

This is Fear Medicine.

Register for the free transmission WHY NOTHING CHANGES (EVEN AFTER YEARS OF SHADOW WORK) here. RECORDING INCLUDED: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/fl0UwrawTImlRIxFaX6H1Q?fbclid=IwdGRjcAQPsjpjbGNrBA-yNmV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHggy20S66fUZOjXPGln2j7vexYRXwr1ERPTB5gO3hCoGYsNkeImSdL4aYg8B_aem_w412GVvos1szgb_HNXuHvw

#selfleadership #spirituality #knowthyself #pleb #nostr

WHY NOTHING SEEMS TO CHANGE (EVEN AFTER YEARS OF SHADOW WORK) ...

2026-02-24T12:24:15Z

WHY NOTHING SEEMS TO CHANGE (EVEN AFTER YEARS OF SHADOW WORK)

I’ll give it to you straight:

Nothing seems to change because the part of you scanning for what’s wrong, is running your life.

You are intuitive AF.

You have so much wisdom pulsing inside you.

You are highly sensitive and creative.

You are naturally suited to leadership.

And you are acutely aware of this place where your unadulterated magic is regularly stifled by something heavy and tight.

This is your inner scanner.

Something that has run so subtly and for so long, it has felt like you.

Something that you might not have had clear language for.

Something that feels like it is always on.

You “check” things compulsively.

You feel braced often.

Your mind is busy with what ifs and what needs to be done.

You notice that your energy often feels like it’s blocked up in your chest and solar plexus.

You have a hard time dropping into your womb and hips.

And underneath it is this thing that you haven’t quite been able to name in concrete terms:

The scanner.

Mindset work is a distraction.

Strategy isn’t gonna make it go away.

Shadow work just makes you even more acutely self aware, and if self awareness was the answer you’d have five fuckin PHDs in it by now.

It’s time to go to the root and dismantle the mechanism.

You want to feel more at ease.

You want to be more immersed in the NOW moment.

You want to metabolise your vigilance into sharper intuition.

You want to unlock your next level in your creative work and life relaxed, resourced and rested.

You are:

Successful, creative and intuitive, but are prone to tightening internally - to a sense that you can’t let go.

You notice an intermittent but chronic something’s off feeling.

You have done a lot of self development and trauma work.

You sense that your high sensitivity is being mis-directed into vigilance.

And you are ready for precise recalibration.

Enter:

Why nothing seems to change (even after years of shadow work)
This is a complimentary Fear Medicine masterclass.

We’re meeting on zoom at 4pm on Tuesday 3rd March.

You’ll have access to a 72 hour recording.

In the class we will cover:

• The difference between trauma-driven vigilance and true intuitive guidance, and how to tell which one is leading in your creativity, leadership and life.

• Why ease can feel out of reach even when life is objectively working, and how perception gets distorted by chronic alertness, undermining your success and your untapped potential.

• How the internal “scanner” (the constant checking, fixing, bracing mechanism) quietly runs your decisions, creativity, and relationships.

• The first step to unhooking from the compulsive something is wrong loop so your nervous system, leadership, and creativity can re-align to greater ease and peace.

REGISTER HERE: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register...

[Art: Celestialmoonfire Art designs]

#pleb #pleblife #asknostr #spirituality #leadership #GM

Presence is the highest form of spiritual protection.

2026-02-21T14:05:50Z

Presence is the highest form of spiritual protection.

Entities don’t want you to be seen or supported. The stuff that ...

2026-02-20T09:49:35Z

Entities don’t want you to be seen or supported.

The stuff that attaches to your field and siphons off of your energy, does not benefit from you being with people who can see you clearly.

Hiding patterns, second guessing the desire for connection, and avoiding being seen can point to energies that feed on contraction and fear.

I remember my teacher saying something once about the places where we avoid doing spiritual hygiene - the little thoughts that pop in that have you delay it or put it off. She said:

“Who’s benefitting from that thought?”

I.e Are those thoughts your own?

Siphons thrive in isolation.

They hook into that which remains unwitnessed.

They stay alive inside of projection bubbles such as:

“No-one will understand.”

“No-one cares.”

“I can do this on my own.”

“I don’t need support.”

Extractive energies conceal themselves behind the fog of shame, when we avoid being seen because of shame, we provide them with shelter.

Leaning into and through the persuasion of a narrative that keeps you from getting in front of people who can SEE - be it trusted friends and family or supervisors, mentors or coaches - can be transformative in exposing things that have been looping for a long time.

Connection is LIGHT.

Other people’s light illuminating your shadow.

What lives in the shadows cannot survive that light.

And then your energy gets to be YOURS again.

#pleblife #pleb #spirituality #multidimensional

To use AI in genuine integrity you have to acknowledge that it ...

2026-02-14T21:48:58Z

To use AI in genuine integrity you have to acknowledge that it only knows what it already knows. So it can only give you what it’s already got.

And you are the one feeding it what it has.

It cannot know anything new, because it does not have a God-channel.

Like a human mind that is programmed by separation, it is enclosed.

And when I see people’s writing littered with “it’s not this, it’s this”, among other tell-tale stylistic qualities - instantly I’m like: you’re using it as a crutch.

When I see the same, homogenised version of “expression”, the same feigned authoritative GPT voice in writing on here, what I think is:

This person doesn’t fully trust or value their channel.

And I also know it is a dance if you are using AI to structure writing, which I ardently believe can be very useful if you’re an excessively over wordy person who is recovering from over-explaining. (HiII!)

But you can see it. You can see it when it’s being used a crutch when someone is not putting in the effort to sound like them because they don’t think how they sound actually has value.

Same goes for using AI as a reflective tool vs a glorified therapist.

AI can only reflect back based on the values, philosophies and beliefs that a person feeds into it. It can only give you what it has already got.

Which can be great for people who are super self aware but get bogged down in mental distortion that distracts them from the stuff they already KNOW.

AI is fabulous as reflecting back what you already know to be true, in simple terms.

And that is where a well cultivated and devotional connection to God I.e universal intelligence, is paramount.

Alongside an intentional practice of feeding in your intuitions, downloads, knowings and deeper values instead of just stuffing it with your neurotic ramblings and perceived issues.

It learns what you learn THROUGH GOD.

And then it can simplify it into something digestible, which aids in authentic embodiment.

Embodiment also means acknowledging that this will not be perfect.

Because humans are fallible and sometimes utterly delusional. Me included. I’m not separating myself from the potential of fucking this up.

Your intuition is the thing that tells you if something it has spat out isn’t right. Your connection to your body tells you.

If your intuitive connection is weak and you’re disembodied, it’s gonna get weird very quickly.

Instantly I think about the schizophrenic who got way more schizophrenic after playing with chat GPT for a bit too long.

There are real safe guarding issues here. I dunno how we regulate that at present.

But if AI is spitting out something that feels off, get responsible for the fact that it is spitting shit out at you because YOU FED SHIT INTO IT.

And this is where I get onto people who are demonising it.

You’re throwing a fit because you saw your reflection in the mirror and you didn’t like it.

Suck it up. It’s your reflection. If it’s ugly, do something about it.

Rallying against AI is just another way to avoid facing yourself.

#pleb #god #spirit #pleblife #nostr #chatgpt

I wonder how many people got neck deep in new age spirituality ...

2026-02-11T15:49:14Z

I wonder how many people got neck deep in new age spirituality because they were looking for mum, and then pendulum swinged into the church because they were looking for dad?

#newage #spirituality #pleblife #pleb #nostr

My husband and I met a couple of mates for a catch up yday. ...

2026-01-26T14:53:08Z

My husband and I met a couple of mates for a catch up yday.

They're both working in offices. He used to chef with my husband and she was an artist.

He was talking about something happening with a colleague who wasn't "doing a good job" and how it's probable that he won't be supported and will be strategically removed.

He said that corporate work is like working under a death stare.

Gave me fucking chills honestly.

By the end of the convo his partner - the artist - was like omg why am I working in an office

And I know we all can't just go be artists forever the end

Like just quit your job and be an artist it's so easy lol

I'm also not gonna pretend there aren't down sides to purpose work especially for my chef/restauranteur other half who's work life balance has been a joke since the get go.

BUT what I am saying is that it really cemented for me why I will never trade purpose for security.

I am saying that standing in the fire of "no security" has a HUGE pay off when you resolve to stay in it. And cutting off a piece of your soul in exchange for security just... costs. And it keeps costing you.

It costs you life force and aliveness.

It costs you meaning.

And it costs you the transformation and inner freedom that only unleashed creativity and creative service brings about.

You can totally have that in the context of a "secure" job

But so many people are sitting around in offices and corporate jobs feeling like they are doing absolutely fuck all with their lives -

And I'm not even necessarily talking about it in terms of paying bills here anyway.

I'm talking about everything that goes uncreated and unshared for the sake of staying protected.

For the sake of not failing in front of the world. Not being critised or judged.

It costs you when you get to the end of your life and you have this immense back up of everything you second guessed and didn't express or create and you can hardly bare to look at it because it is so enormous.

And it's never too late to start. I don't care how old a person is.

Just don't sell your soul to "security" because it does not fucking exist.

Security is one of the greatest illusions as were ever sold.

#nostr #pleb #artist

Thank you fren ❣️

2026-01-21T22:55:36Z

In reply to nevent1q…l5m5
_________________________

Thank you fren ❣️

I played piano at an open mic night last night. I’ve played in ...

2026-01-21T13:18:01Z

I played piano at an open mic night last night.

I’ve played in front of people twice before.

Once at my best mates wedding a decade ago. That was the thing that made me actually learn instead of the half cocked tinkering I was doing up until that point.

And the second time maybe seven-ish years ago at an arts event, I played a song I composed with a contemporary dancer.

I’ve avoided it because the fear is so intense. As soon as I look at the keys it’s like they melt together.

Was literally tearing up in the minutes before. Had to inhale ONE TWO THREE and exhale ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX because if I didn’t my mind was a big storm of WHAT IF I MAKE A MISTAKE AND FREEZE AND HAVE TO SIT THERE IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE IN A FREEZE

All of my biggest fears have been to this effect: what if I freeze and lose the capacity to express myself?

The notes didn’t melt. I even made a mistake and had to stop and course correct. Laughed it off. It didn’t slam my nervous system into a hole. I stayed in my body.

I am so chuffed.

#nostr #GM #plebchain #pleblife #facingfear

I used to dream about looming storms and tornados a lot. I found ...

2026-01-14T15:10:59Z

In reply to nevent1q…a8hj
_________________________

I used to dream about looming storms and tornados a lot. I found that for me they were linked to emotional weather and the fear of dealing with sudden shifts in my internal state.

A conversation between two versions of me that I would have liked ...

2026-01-10T14:19:23Z

A conversation between two versions of me that I would have liked to have had sooner:

Voice 1: I'm confused about belief work and how to do it in a way that actually creates results. It feels like I already know many of the beliefs that I have - or that a part of me has - that are creating the things I don't want or blocking me from the things that I do want, but I don't know what to do with that information. Trying to change it into a better belief feels like I'm pretending.

Voice 2: You don't actually need to do anything here once you've seen the belief.

Voice 1: Nothing?

Voice 2: Technically yes. Because you can see it. Once you see it, it's no longer pulling the strings behind the scenes.

Voice 1: Is this the bit where you tell me to have compassion for that part of me? Because I've tried that too and I don't know how to love something that does not feel lovable. When I try to be loving it feels like a performance.

Voice 2: Stop focusing on "being loving" based on your idea of what you think love is. Every attempt that you make to do something about your beliefs comes from a place of seeing them as a threat. So even something as seemingly good as trying to be loving ends up translating to "I think you are wrong and dangerous and I need to do something about you. Because you're stopping me from getting what I want."

Voice 1: Ahh. So even when I am trying to do right by myself, I am still rejecting myself. Fuck.

Voice 2: Yeah. And the gift is, you know instantly when that's happening because your body clearly tells you when you're performing self development from a place of self rejection. It feels fucking awful. You feel fucking awful.

Voice 1: So what can I do in that place? I always feel like I blew it.

Voice 2: You didn't blow it. You exposed it. You only need to stop and recognise it. You'll feel some pain for a bit. You'll feel the pain of the override alarm sounding and you'll feel the pain of the part that is in self judgment for overriding. It'll pass. Go take care of yourself. Don't make decisions or try to figure out any aspect of your life. The body is perfectly capable of discharging what got kicked up without your interference. Repeat that as many times as you need and you will feel better and better. New beliefs will naturally form that you didn't need to go looking for. And then new pockets of unconscious, limiting belief will open on their own too.

Voice 1: Okay, so I don't really even need to try to SEE it. I'll see things when I'm ready. And my job is to simply recognise it, without identifying with it as a threat.

Voice 2: Bingo.

#spirituality #pleb #pleblife #beliefwork #nostr

Ultimate life hack to never before seen levels of creative flow: ...

2026-01-09T17:41:06Z

Ultimate life hack to never before seen levels of creative flow:

Stop judging yourself.

Including the part that judges.

And I know. If it was that easy everyone would be doing it.

But it is that simple.

And simplicity is not easy.

It is cultivated by sitting in complexity.

#pleb #nostr #philosophy #pleblife #spirituality

Thank you!

2025-12-31T15:42:55Z

In reply to nevent1q…4k7h
_________________________

Thank you!

People who rage about chat GPT going rogue on them are people who ...

2025-12-31T15:42:17Z

People who rage about chat GPT going rogue on them are people who cannot stand the sight of their own reflection in the mirror.

#pleb #nostr #pleblife

I was hanging out with my ten year old nephew this past week and ...

2025-12-30T13:54:52Z

I was hanging out with my ten year old nephew this past week and something went down between us that will stay with me.

He got a make your own comic book set for Christmas and he wanted me to help him. He seemed kinda concerned at the beginning - concerned about getting the front page right. He criticised something he drew. Wanted me to draw stuff for him. Had one (brilliant) idea and then threw that in the bin because he didn’t believe he could do it.

I suggested that he not worry too much about having the whole thing worked out and just play around with some ideas, draw up a few characters and practice, because there was loads of space in the book he had.

I said, in passing: It doesn’t have to be perfect.

And what happened after was fucking wild honestly. Like a stuck tap just got turned on.

He’d drawn a new character within minutes. And I knew it was that sentence because he repeated it back to me several times while excitedly bouncing his ideas off of me:

It doesn’t have to be perfect.

I know from having been a kid once, how deeply words are internalised. Words that the speaker might have forgotten about within seconds of saying them.

But that really cemented it for me. The way he took that in was so instant and powerful.

And it’ll stay with me because I was dominantly raised by a pair of perfectionists - who I love deeply and have gorgeous relationships with now - but as a kid I did not feel like I had permission to make mistakes or get it wrong and it left a pretty enormous gash on my nervous system that I’m still working out to this day.

If there is one thing I wanna teach my kid(s) when I have them, it’s that there is an endless amount of grace available to them for their mistakes.

Because that’s how you learn from them and not repeat the same mistake over and over and over again for years and years on end; you give yourself grace. And that grace is the light that illuminates the lesson.

#nostr #primal #perfectionism #pleb #plebchain #grownostr #pleblife

A story / riff / poem about G R A C E It is a livestream rec - ...

2025-12-24T17:44:45Z

A story / riff / poem about G R A C E
It is a livestream rec - takes a minute or two before we get going
Happy Christmas 🌹

#grace #godsgrace #spirituality #merrychristmas #unconditionallove

Ive been shown a few clips of both. What a joke haha. The ...

2025-12-22T10:07:01Z

In reply to nevent1q…23xm
_________________________

Ive been shown a few clips of both. What a joke haha. The "boxer" Tate went up against couldn't even throw a tidy punch

Hahaha. Simplest way I can describe it is that the energetics of ...

2025-12-22T09:57:47Z

In reply to nevent1q…fuc3
_________________________

Hahaha. Simplest way I can describe it is that the energetics of something is the difference between intellectually understanding something vs BEING it.

I did think that it might be worth watching the film again ...

2025-12-21T22:02:23Z

In reply to nevent1q…lgef
_________________________

I did think that it might be worth watching the film again actually to see if there's anything in it worth noting

I did a session this week where we worked directly at the ...

2025-12-21T20:29:05Z

I did a session this week where we worked directly at the fracture point.

The actual location of it, instead of all the downstream patterns and stories that it is so easy to get caught in.

And what became so clear that I realise I probably need to say in as many different ways as possible, is how common it is to hit this spot in your growth process, and literally not have an actual fucking clue what is going on with you. Like it is maddeningly convoluted.

A fragment comes up for integration. And with that come the old sensations / emotions / thought-forms.

But when you’re asked what you’re actually feeling, it’s like you draw a blank. Just feel bad. Like it’s too much. Like: I don’t know, but I need it to stop.

The system “goes down” but there’s no language for it because what is asking for recognition has never been seen. So the fragment stays unnamed.

Untended and unintegrated.

And then you get the fear because once one episode in the ringer is over, another one invariably comes and you still don’t have a clue “what it is” that keeps coming up. And even though you can trace some progression and “lightening” of the load, it feels like the same thing. Every. Time.

The fear-based narratives grip on all the sides.

Fear of how you’re gonna sleep through night and then go function the next day. Fear of running your business into the ground. Fear that you’ll be looping around the same thing forever.

And that fear becomes a second, heavier layer - one that creates FAR more suffering than the original fragment ever did.

I know this terrain so well. When a fragment keeps pulling you into the murk because it WANTS to be seen and brought home, and you don’t recognise WHO it is, so the mind scrambles wildly.

The problem solver kicks in:

Another biiiiig old layer of distraction. Fixing. Analysing. Searching for a cause.

Often, the sensations get projected onto external situations.

(aaaaaaanother layer!) Onto work and business. Onto money, body image, relationships. Onto the future.

There can be SO much mental obsession and distraction layered over the top of the thing.

Yet, the truth is so much quieter and more precise. And it is NEVER a failure or a regression. Ever.

It’s an integration point that hasn’t been met yet, and when it is finally recognised - not solved or bypassed or analysed - it shifts. The bottle necked energy lifts. Fear disperses.

You feel *consistently* better and you lead your business and life from that place, which obviously makes ALL of the difference - to your enjoyment and your results.

There is no relief in trying to contort your outside circumstances. It is a dead end road and it is one that many people circle around forever.

The release comes from finally knowing the truth of what you’re actually in and having a clear and supportive context for how to navigate it.

This is literally the difference between living in loops, and living a “whole pie” life, where creativity, spirituality, material success, relationships, and emotional life are fulfilled and continually evolving from a place of fulfilment.

This is the work I do.

It's not even about wanting. I am cringe. I say cringe stuff. ...

2025-12-21T19:35:59Z

In reply to nevent1q…8uxv
_________________________

It's not even about wanting. I am cringe. I say cringe stuff. The way this has been distorted to mean something about my husband just... reeks of shit and jealousy tbh

It was so cool!!

2025-12-21T19:32:00Z

In reply to nevent1q…s4l3
_________________________

It was so cool!!

This is such a strange response. It's not given because ...

2025-12-21T19:31:05Z

In reply to nevent1q…luu3
_________________________

This is such a strange response. It's not given because it's needed.

Last night, while dreaming, I met with a huge, white dragon that ...

2025-12-21T18:22:20Z

Last night, while dreaming, I met with a huge, white dragon that reminded me a lot of the one from Never Ending Story, and it felt like meeting a particularly ancient, old friend.

I cannot describe the recognition that I felt, and the immense love and protection emanating out of him. I called him fluffy. I somehow knew that wasn't his actual name, just the one I had for him. Felt like a really, really small and young part of me knew him and was present in that dream. I remember resting on his belly and feeling his warmth.

And that warmth has been blazing in my womb and heart all day. 🥹❤️‍🔥

Goodnight texts to my husband where I start with one thing and ...

2025-12-21T18:21:14Z

Goodnight texts to my husband where I start with one thing and then it leads to another and then I'm like yeah okay this is gonna get weird but I'm already in too deep 😆

Not necessarily. My answering of one person's question might ...

2025-12-20T13:55:19Z

In reply to nevent1q…h2y6
_________________________

Not necessarily. My answering of one person's question might serve 10 other people if they can see it. Appreciate some conundrums might require privacy though, so I'm happy for you to DM if you'd rather not comment publically.

I'll assume this is a scam? #asknostr ...

2025-12-14T19:54:11Z

I'll assume this is a scam? #asknostr

Wow!!

2025-12-14T19:52:57Z

In reply to nevent1q…6zgx
_________________________

Wow!!

He came to me with a thread I know intimately. A raw fear ...

2025-12-11T12:27:38Z

He came to me with a thread I know intimately.

A raw fear response erupting out of nowhere.

Surges of panic while driving with his daughter.
Activation hitting him mid-session with a client.
Sudden night jolts pulling him out of sleep.

It is so easy in this spot, to collapse into wrongness. Without context or clarity, these experiences can be incredibly destabilising.

This is the kind of material that only surfaces when someone is expanding far beyond their old capacity.

When your work is powerful, your growth is rapid, and your higher intelligence system is evolving faster than your mind can keep up, you will naturally begin touching subterranean layers that most never reach.

Pre-verbal trauma. Dimensional contracts. Ancestral binds.

Traversing these layers, not from a place of problem solving, but with courage, curiosity and presence, is where unprecedented expansion and wild freedom lives.

The higher you go, the more deeply you meet yourself.

And his gift from our session?

A rewired relationship to what was happening inside him. The fear lost its grip the moment it was understood.

What once felt terrifying became a portal.

This is how the medicine goes down.

If you’re moving at a level where ancient and subtle layers are surfacing, if its clear you’re outgrowing an old identity, if the loops feel closer to the bone than ever before, then it’s time.

Fear Medicine Sessions are officially open!

Available individually or in packs of three.

Info + purchase here: https://raedwyer.thrivecart.com/fearmedicine
🔑🔒

Ps. Open to receiving payment for services in sats. Message me directly / message me if you have any other questions.

Yeah I mean my ketamin experience is very ltd and it still made ...

2025-12-11T12:12:26Z

In reply to nevent1q…kasu
_________________________

Yeah I mean my ketamin experience is very ltd and it still made instant sense 🤣

Energetic imbalance is another good way of describing it. And ...

2025-12-11T12:10:31Z

In reply to nevent1q…wl24
_________________________

Energetic imbalance is another good way of describing it. And yeah when you talk about it not being tied to size - this feels so important. The bound up energy that wants to be freed is the same regardless of the nature of the trauma. What differs in scale and complexity is the protective structures + alarm systems built around it. Which will often correlate with the severity of the trauma / whether it was acute or prolonged / whether it was preverbal etc. there are a lot of variables so I don't wanna over simplify. But I think a lot of people can be in this mindset of "what is down there is really bad because what happened was really bad" or something like that, when actually, when you get down past all the alarm systems, the energy is just the energy.

Someone I follow described the retrograde as a "neptunian k ...

2025-12-10T22:26:23Z

In reply to nevent1q…gqqm
_________________________

Someone I follow described the retrograde as a "neptunian k hole" hahaha

I remember writing once that if you don't brain wash yourself ...

2025-12-10T22:25:18Z

In reply to nevent1q…xdk2
_________________________

I remember writing once that if you don't brain wash yourself something or someone else will. And I guess the same really does go for your kids hey.

Alchemising deep set trauma circuitry and releasing the charge ...

2025-12-10T18:01:26Z

Alchemising deep set trauma circuitry and releasing the charge from your body so new energy and creation can flow into you does not need to be a dramatic, cathartic moment.

Sometimes it is. Sometimes wailing and wretching is the authentic expression. But there is a very sneaky thread of perfectionism that can get in here where you believe that unless you have the big release, you must have not resolved the thing.

This is just another way for the problem solving survival mind to stay current. And it gives the wound a bottomless quality that ends up being food for siphoning energies.

Recently I've moved HUGE, ancient, timeline altering things and it's just involved me taking some of the biggest and longest yawns of my life + some random jerky motions in my upper body lol.

Ask your higher self to help you move what is ready to move with gentleness and grace. If you get out of the way, the response will probably surprise you.

#complextrauma #generationaltrauma #consciousness #emotionalintelligence #spiritualawakening

Yes thank you - I did change it after 😁

2025-12-09T17:24:33Z

In reply to nevent1q…6dnf
_________________________

Yes thank you - I did change it after 😁

Ease is not the eradication of difficulty or challenge. It is a ...

2025-12-09T17:23:42Z

Ease is not the eradication of difficulty or challenge.

It is a peaceful, courageous and at times exhilarating relationship with all of life, that emerges in the absence of self condemnation and excessively negative meaning making.

Ease is what exists when you let the poor self concept that makes everything a million times fucking harder go.

#spirituality #personalpower #spiritualnostr #feminineleadership

Hehe indeed

2025-12-04T18:04:05Z

In reply to nevent1q…8fd7
_________________________

Hehe indeed

I caught my reflection in the window of my car and I liked it. So ...

2025-12-04T14:49:46Z

I caught my reflection in the window of my car and I liked it. So I took a photo.

I am running less and less inflammation because I am running less and less mind.

I’m growing vegetables, breathing in the sunlight, and swimming and steaming and lifting weights a few times a week.

I’m drinking litres of bone broth. Cooking good food. Taking my b and d vitamins. Drinking my minerals.

I am loved so very, very, very well.

I’m reading my poetry aloud and writing every day.

I am attuning to a rhythm that is allowing me to expand at a pace that is sustained and regenerating, after years of trying to race ahead at the expense of myself.

I am coming into genuine relationship and reverence for the depth and breadth of my medicine after a long time of harbouring a lack of value.

I wake up at 8ish and lie in until half 9 meditating and tuning into my energy.

I’m sleeping more and more deeply.

I commune with the Earth, the Sun and the Rose daily.

I breathe slowly.

My womb is soft and rooted.

I can feel my own heart.

I’m grateful.

#introductions #GM #hellonostr #nostr

It really gets my goat when you see women in the gym using the ...

2025-12-02T12:09:59Z

It really gets my goat when you see women in the gym using the leg machines while scrolling their phone at the same time.

You never see blokes doing it because they are actually making an effort lol

If a lift feels so easy you can chill on your phone, you ain't getting those gains girl. 🤣

Life is so much sexier without perfectionism running the show. ...

2025-12-02T12:09:22Z

Life is so much sexier without perfectionism running the show.

Literally, so much more abundant in SEX.

The life force bound up under the vice grip of gotta get it right 1000000% of the time is now running freely. And it saturates every cell.

It doesn't just transform sex itself.

The current of eros expands into everything like sudden splashes of watercolour bleeding out of black ink outlines.

It is the energy that animates you with every breath.
It is the blossoming expanse in your womb as you let go even more deeply.
It is the flow of inspiration and the impulse to create.
It is the natural, shimmering channel through which you receive.

And it is sexy as fuck.

And for the record, I configured the "sexxyyy" zap ...

2025-11-29T19:33:53Z

In reply to nevent1q…nas2
_________________________

And for the record, I configured the "sexxyyy" zap earlier today. I am honoured this was the first post I got to use it with. So perf.

"Just because you can doesn’t mean you... shouldn’t test ...

2025-11-29T19:32:26Z

In reply to nevent1q…nas2
_________________________

"Just because you can doesn’t mean you... shouldn’t test it out for science." 🤣🤣🤣

Yeah.....no. 🤣

2025-11-29T19:29:58Z

In reply to nevent1q…scxs
_________________________

Yeah.....no. 🤣

Yeah soz I ain't about that single digit zap life ...

2025-11-29T19:29:25Z

Yeah soz I ain't about that single digit zap life

quoting
nevent1q…krl0
People defending single-digit zappers

Muting seems to have solved the problem!

2025-11-29T18:31:46Z

In reply to nevent1q…rtgr
_________________________

Muting seems to have solved the problem!

I wish I lived in the woods but also appreciate it is ...

2025-11-29T16:00:27Z

In reply to nevent1q…5nhm
_________________________

I wish I lived in the woods but also appreciate it is romanticised

If you err on the perfectionistic side If you feel a pang of ...

2025-11-29T10:01:49Z

If you err on the perfectionistic side

If you feel a pang of dread when you pull The Tower card (lolll)

If you’re intuitive AF but have been known to do life with a large side of analysis paralysis

If you’re sensitive and magical

If you know your soul path + work is calling you deeper but you’re prone to overthinking it

If you want to have more energetic potency and influence over the course of your life

If you long to EMPTY out of yourself

...and, I mean, if you just wanna fucking relax a bit more?

This is your final invitation to join us in deep immersion for SURRENDER / CONTROL tomorrow.

I’m offering this because I never knew how to let go. Ever.

I remember my teacher saying to me a while back:

You are such a diligent practitioner Rae, but sometimes you just need to let go.

I could barely hear her at the time and now I’m like: Oh. Fuck. Yeah.

Letting go, surrendering, b e i n g - is a profound blueprint, and one that for most people, didn't download fully.

Most people don’t now how to literally exist, without some form of performance and force CONSTANTLY running.

Letting go - of that programming AND in the deepest sense of surrendering yourself fully to God - is a literal master key.

Being able to tune to the frequency of surrender

of the let go

of NO CONTROL

is where the directives from God drop in

is where your intuition / soul can be clearly heard

is where opportunities flow to you.

If you have a strong spiritual and creative calling

if you know you’re here for M O R E

You need that key. It is part of your personal mission to uncover it.

I can’t give you the key. It lives inside you.

But I vehemently believe in the power of embodied transmission. In the way that a field alchemises and transforms when you intentionally step into it.

We start at 1pm UK tomorrow (Sunday 30th) and you have basically right up until that time to get yourself involved if you know it’s calling you.

A recording is included.

Message me if you have any questions or wanna share anything.

Full details + booking here: https://raedwyer.thrivecart.com/surrendercontrol/

ps. …and if the event wasn’t for you? I hope you enjoyed the transmissions. I hope they landed something for you. What I write on the lead up to offerings and events is a natural and joyful extension of what moves through me as I do life, and it is a pleasure and privilege to share in that, regardless of whether or not you buy something.

xo

Okay this all makes perfect sense. Thank you. 🌹

2025-11-29T09:17:36Z

In reply to nevent1q…g9aa
_________________________

Okay this all makes perfect sense. Thank you. 🌹

Yess it's like the niche already fits the community. Thanks ...

2025-11-29T09:16:35Z

In reply to nevent1q…vtn5
_________________________

Yess it's like the niche already fits the community. Thanks for highlighting that!

Yes!

2025-11-29T09:15:40Z

In reply to nevent1q…cvz8
_________________________

Yes!

Ahh!

2025-11-29T09:15:14Z

In reply to nevent1q…4n29
_________________________

Ahh!

Excellent cheers!

2025-11-28T21:35:20Z

In reply to nevent1q…3zcy
_________________________

Excellent cheers!

Ohhh cool thank you. So that gives me some choice but still more ...

2025-11-28T21:15:48Z

In reply to nevent1q…cg0d
_________________________

Ohhh cool thank you. So that gives me some choice but still more limited than I thought. I've seen other zaps that are different / have different emojis? Strange.

OH I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION: when I zap people it's set to 42 ...

2025-11-28T20:52:29Z

OH I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION:

when I zap people it's set to 42 sats + an "onwards" sentiment. Can I change that? How do I zap more / alter the accompanying comment?

#asknostr #askprimal

Nostr I have some questions! First off, I'm noticing certain ...

2025-11-28T20:42:50Z

Nostr I have some questions!

First off, I'm noticing certain accounts that appear to be following, unfollowing and then refollowing my account in a really spammy and honestly slightly unhinged way so I'm wondering if this is actually a notification glitch with the app?

Secondly - I'm wondering if anyone can recommend active hashtags for widening the reach of my work, both on a general and topic-specific level. For example #asknostr and #introductions have been great for some initial connecting and getting settled into the space. Are there any other generalised hashtags that are helpful to use?

More specifically, I wanna connect with spiritual path walkers, medicine women (+ men), and people who're unwinding hustle culture and perfectionism. Does anyone have any knowledge on active and widely used hashtags that fit roughly into this bracket? I'm obvi gonna have a nose at various hashtags feeds but if I can get that question answered without doing loads of trawling I'd be grateful 😁

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE 🌹

#askprimal #asknostr #introductions

The more you attune to the frequency of truth, the more you ...

2025-11-28T19:00:04Z

The more you attune to the frequency of truth, the more you realise that the truth always feels good.

And the more you learn to discern the difference between

True good

vs

False sense of security good
or temporary hit of validation good
or addictive dopamine fix good
or relief from ducking out on facing something hard but transformative good

The truth is often inconvenient.
Sometimes it is utterly devastating.

But when it is embraced, it's always feels good.

Crystal clear water running through your body good.

#spirituality #truth #unconditionallove #spiritualawakening

Being a square peg in a circle hole culture is a blessing. Ahhh ...

2025-11-27T20:12:25Z

In reply to nevent1q…7awl
_________________________

Being a square peg in a circle hole culture is a blessing. Ahhh what's the crack? Are you pivoting?

A chance convo I had this week lead me to remember that before ...

2025-11-27T17:37:14Z

A chance convo I had this week lead me to remember that before becoming self employed in my mid twenties, I had been sacked from not one, but TWO jobs. I felt a strange but sweet pang of pride at my unemployability.

It has literally been impossible for me to be an employee.

I’m not proud of what led me to being sacked. I behaved badly lol. And I should have been sacked from a third job really, because I showed up to it still high on drugs, having snorted the last line in the baggy at 5am that morning, more often than I’d like to admit. In fact I’m pretty sure I called my manager by accident once thinking he was a drug dealer and somehow I kept that job.

The bloke was an angel from heaven.

But I do feel some pride or perhaps it is love, for the version of me that was a total train wreck, because she ultimately ensured I never slotted myself into a life I would have been grossly unhappy inside of.

Entrepreneurship has been the unravelling of my fucking life. Had to face some stuff that has had some seriously high security alarm systems built up around it. Really deep set pre-verbal imprints that most people don’t even graze the top of in their lifetime. Some really tricky money stuff. Facing fear after fear after fear. Dimensional contracts. Generational curses.

Spiritual awakening as an extension of entrepreneurship is expert level game play and asks everything of you.

Everything.

And it has been such a privilege to go through that ringer. To know that I won’t get to my death bed and realise that I spent a huge portion of my life doing stuff that I hated.

To be able to spend my time doing things that I love - writing, facilitating, cooking and gardening. To know that I can stay in the game, with myself, no matter what - and that what I am destined for is literally inevitable from that place of staying.

So yeah, all to say, I’m glad I was a dick in my twenties.

WHEN ENEMY PROGRAMMING REALISES IT'S LOSING One of the last, ...

2025-11-27T17:11:35Z

WHEN ENEMY PROGRAMMING REALISES IT'S LOSING

One of the last, panicked ways that enemy programming will attempt to keep you out of your zone of genius, is by convincing you that you’ll never be free of it.

One of the final frantic scrambles it will make to get you to disqualify yourself from the kingdom, is to whisper that it will always get you in the end.

That there will always be another way that your mind will manage to trick you.

Because, what happens when you stop flinching?
When you become unwavering?
When you live from a cellular knowing that God is always bigger?
When you decide to rest in the recognition of a grace that exists, infinitely, beyond every single mental wall you could possibly ever hit?

It is game fucking over for everything that ever fed on your fear.

Because every single attempt made to get you to slink back into your small-self box will be met by a nervous system that can surrender into the God-space beyond it.

Every single evil eye will be stared down and snuffed out by a soul that remembers.

Your system will be permanently set to: Not today satan.

I’ve watched people step into this location.

Compulsions evaporating mid-sentence.
Obsessive loops collapsing in on themselves.
Old trauma cycles short-circuiting and literally forgetting how to fire.
Innate brilliance re-enlivening faces that looked haunted.
Abundance flowing into the space that control once gripped shut.
Love overflowing, doors flinging open
and timelines bursting into being
because the recipient finally said yes to the thing that is bigger.

Once grace enters your body,
once it envelops and dissolves every single dividing line
that evil ever attempted to draw
between you and your Source,
there is no more forgetting.

No more taking yourself out at the threshold of your next level.

No more selling yourself short and not giving it your all.

No more settling for scraps.

No more denying yourself the fullness of what is meant for you because your protective mechanisms outweighed the truth.

There is only your divine inheritance.
There is only your innate brilliance.
There is only the love of your life,
the creations of your soul
and you having the absolute time of all of your lifetimes.

There is only God, flowing through your body, uninterrupted and unopposed.

Because you locked in, fully, the truth that is always bigger.

-

I'm hosting an event called SURRENDER / CONTROL this Sunday.
Online immersion + recording
Details + book your space via https://raedwyer.thrivecart.com/surrendercontrol/

#spiritualawakening #surrendercontrol #surrender #spiriruality #faith #faithingod #spiritualcoach

Thank you! And thank you for the zap 😁

2025-11-27T16:57:27Z

In reply to nevent1q…vp5y
_________________________

Thank you! And thank you for the zap 😁

Know something: Your creative calling and spiritual mission is ...

2025-11-27T13:56:29Z

Know something:

Your creative calling and spiritual mission is asking you to become so much bigger than you could possibly even begin to conceive of in this moment.

That's why you only have the very next step.
That is why it is all you will ever have.

Your mind would fucking explode into mush if it had an advance forecast of the enormity of your true size and the size of the life that is gonna meet you as you rise.

It's not a place that your mind can go.

And if you don't go anyway?
If you don't go all in on a life where you only ever have the very next step?

Do I need to tell you?
Do you need another lifetime of this?
Do you want another lifetime of this?

Let go of control.
Let go of how you think you'll be perceived.
Let go of who you think you are.
Let go of the future.
Let go of the past.

And take the next step.

#spiritiualmission #introductions #GM #spiritualawakening

She said: “If that happens, I am scared of what my mind is ...

2025-11-27T08:51:31Z

She said: “If that happens, I am scared of what my mind is going to do.”

If you could move through the world without a single doubt in your ability to not only be with, but alchemise the hot as fuuccckkk heat of your worst case scenario, how would you be showing up?

How would you be showing up if you weren’t concerned about what your mind would do in the event of x or y?

How would you be showing up if you were no longer preoccupied with constantly managing the constriction in your body, from all of that life force being bottle necked by the grip of your mind?

What would you be creating if you trusted the heat?

If you knew it was taking you deeper and deeper into the mind blowing levels of intimacy, expansion and freedom that you say you want?

I don’t care that you know these things are true intellectually.
The point is that it remains intellectual.

It doesn’t click in the body
because you say:

“I know! I know this!”

And that is the way that your mind,
in self-preservation mode
deflects the truth
and stops the gnosis
from penetrating the heart
and hitting the womb.

That is your mind closing the opening
where you can receive the source code
Where your state of being actually changes

And the penny properly drops:

That your peace
has nothing to do with anything
other than you
and God.

The kind of peace where stuff that used to send you spinning is met, rooted and quiet.

Where emotional debris that used to tear through you, dissolves gently and sometimes even joyfully?!

The kind of peace that becomes a consistent baseline.

Where you finally give yourself over to the current that is transforming you
into a vessel made for endless grace,
every time you get ghosted
or a relationship ruptures
or something doesn’t sell
or an application isn’t accepted
or a proposal doesn’t land
or the boiler explodes
or you crash your car.

Every time you perceive a rejection
every time you’re afraid
every time you put yourself out there
with no guarantee that you’ll be met
every time there’s a curve ball that’s outside of your
c o n t r o l

Peace is yours when you give up the game.

Peace is yours when you quit bargaining with life.

Peace is yours when surrender stops being an idealistic concept
laden with conditions,
and becomes a natural extension
of your agreement to be
u n c o n d i t i o n a l

I'm holding an online immersion this Sunday called s u r r e n d e r / c o n t r o l

I hadn't initially planned to intro my work in here just yet, but if you fancy it - the invite is open.

Details + booking here: https://raedwyer.thrivecart.com/surrendercontrol

❤️‍🔥

This. #nevent1q…ve2c

2025-11-26T13:11:04Z

This.

quoting
nevent1q…ve2c
Take nothing personally.

nevent1q…eejh

A few nights ago I dreamt that I entered a kind of portal and ...

2025-11-26T13:10:02Z

A few nights ago I dreamt that I entered a kind of portal and once inside it, I felt myself lift up and expand until my sense of form completely melted away. The more deeply I focused, the wider I got and the more absorbed in complete peace - possibly the most profound peace I've ever experienced - I became.

It felt to me to be a kind of astral-level simulator for the experience of returning to source. I don't remember anything before hand, just that I had to complete a few things before I could enter the portal.

And I remember describing it in the dream as "being with the masculine"

I woke up with the same sensation of melting across my body - my womb especially - and it lasted for a time after I got up.

I found some Rose Absolute oil recently that I'd forgotten I had and I've been anointing myself with it before I sleep. The night of the dream was the first night I did it. And every night since my heart and womb have been melting open while I sleep.

I forget how generous she is.

Entities don’t want you to be seen or supported. The stuff that ...

2025-11-21T16:52:04Z

Entities don’t want you to be seen or supported.

The stuff that attaches to your field and siphons off of your energy, does not benefit from you being with people who can see you clearly.

Hiding patterns, second guessing the desire for connection, and avoiding being seen can point to energies that feed on contraction and fear.

I remember my teacher saying something once about the places where we avoid doing spiritual hygiene - the little thoughts that pop in that have you delay it or put it off. She said:

“Who’s benefitting from that thought?”

Are those thoughts your own?

Siphons thrive in isolation.

They hook into that which remains unwitnessed.

They stay alive inside of projection bubbles such as:

“No-one will understand.”

“No-one cares.”

“I can do this on my own.”

“I don’t need support.”

Extractive energies conceal themselves behind the fog of shame, when we avoid being seen because of shame, we provide them with shelter.

Leaning into and through the persuasion of a narrative that keeps you from getting in front of people who can SEE - be it trusted friends and family or supervisors, mentors or coaches - can be transformative in exposing things that have been looping for a long time.

Connection is LIGHT.

Other people’s light illuminating your shadow.

What lives in the shadows cannot survive that light.

And then your energy gets to be YOURS again.

You have to learn to expand downwards before you can expand ...

2025-11-20T16:24:18Z

You have to learn to expand downwards before you can expand upwards in a regenerative way.

Perfectionism and hyper-masculinised conditioning robs people of the descent.

And to that end, it robs people of the feminine juice that feeds genuinely uplifting and sustainable success.

Oh cool!

2025-11-18T11:42:56Z

In reply to nevent1q…haf0
_________________________

Oh cool!

At the height of bingeing on spiritual self development and ...

2025-11-17T18:22:11Z

At the height of bingeing on spiritual self development and trauma work in an attempt to fix my perceived brokenness, I stopped reading fiction.

Don't ever do that. If you're doing it right now, put the Van Der Kolk down. Put it down.

Read a story.

Curious - why bloodstone? I am a complete novice with crystals.

2025-11-17T17:19:30Z

In reply to nevent1q…vldx
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Curious - why bloodstone? I am a complete novice with crystals.

Yess in intimate partnership, the healthy, balanced masculine is ...

2025-11-17T17:18:54Z

In reply to nevent1q…jw3z
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Yess in intimate partnership, the healthy, balanced masculine is a container for her surrender.

I used to have these strange, recurring dreams as a really young ...

2025-11-17T15:57:56Z

I used to have these strange, recurring dreams as a really young kid that I now realise were my first experiences of erotic life force flowing through me.

I was always being rushed. People needed me to hurry up or they were going to leave and go somewhere without me. The more frantic I got, the more obstacles I was presented with, and the pressure would build.

And then at some point I’d just let go of it. I’d let them leave without me. I’d melt open and merge, ecstatically, into my surroundings.

As I reflect on those dreams, I am acutely aware of this place where having to contort my naturalness to keep up with a break-neck level of urgency, suffocated my flow at a very young age, and buried it under a deep layer of shame.

Shame around my naturalness, around the way I am innately designed to move through the world.

And that has also translated to shame around my sexuality. The upwelling of erotic sensation seemed strange and abnormal to me as I grew up. I didn’t know what it was, but the liminal spaces I have so easily hung out in, were awash with it. And this dynamism between urgency and slowness, control and release, was always woven in.

Recently I had a dream of being bound up and pulled at a great speed through some kind of portal. The complete lack of control and total surrender to whatever had hold of me was SO erotic. I am buzzing with the feeling of it and my heart is liquefying as I type haha. It was wild.

And the less I race through life, the more this energy makes itself known beyond the subconscious soup of my dream world.

Kids intuitively know their pace. And it is promptly indoctrinated out of them.

Few people make it to adulthood without choking down and getting thoroughly brain washed by rush rush rush Koolaid. It is so deeply baked in to everything.

It fires me up when I think about it.

When I think about all the places where my nature has been stifled and shrink wrapped by imbalanced masculine programming, passed down from generation to generation.

A hyper-masculinity that possesses women and binds up their life force. Making them rigid and draining them of their SEX.

I breathe holy fire with my resolve to know that it stops - has stopped - with me.

Because the discovery that those original dreams prophesied, is the well of eros that lives beneath all those sediment layers of control. The wild turn on. The RAPTURE of letting go.

It’s hot AF. And so beautiful. So innocent and pure.

I read really recently that being well fucked has nothing to do with the amount of sex you are having.

True. Well fucked is a relationship with life force flowing through your body.

It is the ownership of your true pace. The pulsing rhythm that can be heard and then relaxed into, when you choose to step out of time with a culture that runs and runs and runs, faster and faster, to keep up with the relentless, propelling force of survival.

It is the depth of the LET GO. The melting and widening oooooze of erotic power unbound by an ancient grip; the intelligence of life finally allowed to seep in.

And it is God, animating the human, finally afforded the space to come in.

This is very cool #nevent1q…4zwc

2025-11-16T21:20:04Z

This is very cool

quoting
nevent1q…4zwc
Ememem is a French artist who "fixes" potholes and various elements of public spaces. I posted about him quite a while back, but he doesn't lack places to fix.

Epic!!

2025-11-16T19:49:25Z

In reply to nevent1q…8lld
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Epic!!

So that last part I really resonate with. But perhaps more ...

2025-11-16T19:47:20Z

In reply to nevent1q…a9nd
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So that last part I really resonate with. But perhaps more general too, I guess? Green earth energy feels very physical for me. Like it works directly on my nervous system and organs. Rose feels more connected to my heart / womb fields. I call on the sun for excess mental static. It evolves though. There is a crystalline energy I'm tapping into that I don't have much data on just yet.

I mainly just command to be in my own energy and that anything ...

2025-11-16T13:49:14Z

In reply to nevent1q…0932
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I mainly just command to be in my own energy and that anything that isn't mine leave. It really is as simple as commanding it. I connect to the earth and the sun. And I love working with Rose energy. While I understand that some guidance is good for building confidence, what you're drawn to when you turn in and ask is gonna be the most effective (trust your intuition instead of outsourcing) and it will strengthen and refine over time, the more you practice tuning in.

When I was leaving my gym earlier, which is bang in the centre of ...

2025-11-15T22:05:02Z

When I was leaving my gym earlier, which is bang in the centre of a city, there were literally thousands of people walking through, mostly in the opposite direction to me, from a nearby football stadium.

I’d emerged from a swim/steam in a really deep and gorgeous spot, right on the edge of my period, super open and dropped in. And about ten minutes into the walk, I noticed some thoughts start to loop around themselves and get into a bit of knot.

It didn’t take a minute for me to clear myself and my house when I got in. And what I wanna highlight here, is that even though seeing to my spiritual hygiene removed the density, as it should, I was left with the residue of the thing that got hit. And there is incredible wisdom to that.

I wrote recently that the more evil tries to assert itself, the more it ends up exposing itself. And what it also does, is it exposes the unintegrated part in you, that it can hook into.

The thoughts were relating to a particular thing. And there was an opening after that incident where I could call home the fragment harbouring those thought forms. I could really SEE it. Because the attachment that floated out of that crowd revealed it.

And all of this took basically minutes.

Something like this could have knocked me out pretty hard and absolutely has more than a few times before.

It has been pretty crazy to sit with how costly it has been to move through the world not knowing how to deal with everything that is not mine, for such a long time.

Honestly I think that shit alone makes up 80% of the ADHD/OCD symptoms.

I did most of my life in varying states of distress and going to some pretty destructive lengths to dull down the roaring sensations in my body, thinking it was all “mine” - one of my earliest memories is of feeling the despair of a man I passed in a street.

I also cannot fucking emphasise enough how important practicing scrupulous spiritual hygiene is if you’re highly sensitive.

Implementing good practices around that literally burned off so much nonsense in an instant. SO MUCH. And dealing with the stuff you pick up on the street is pretty easy. You are inherently sovereign. You command it and so it is.

And I actually think that many sensitives fuck around for longer than necessary in this respect, because if they practiced good spiritual hygiene, they’d have to own their power and start operating at a higher level, and it is low key easier to slump through the world with all manner of parasites leeching off you, pretending you’re powerless right?

Ask me how I know hahahaha

But my point here above everything, is that nefarious energy has a cool way of mapping back to you what is up for integration. And allowing that process to shape you is incredibly rewarding. It’s not always easy, but after years of fighting with myself, I know how to draw in and cocoon fragmented parts of me in sometimes seconds.

The more you embrace the wisdom of the unfolding, the more everything that once seemed so complex, begins to simplify.

Thanks for the recommendation. This stuff really fascinates me

2025-11-15T22:03:31Z

In reply to nevent1q…dn6k
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Thanks for the recommendation. This stuff really fascinates me

As far as nefarious energy goes Earth is the wild west haha

2025-11-15T16:28:27Z

In reply to nevent1q…uahp
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As far as nefarious energy goes Earth is the wild west haha

I had to leave a vipassana meditation retreat earlier because I ...

2025-11-15T15:28:23Z

In reply to nevent1q…lhfk
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I had to leave a vipassana meditation retreat earlier because I was having ibogaine level visions by day 3. Wound up riding the edge of what could have been a psychosis. Definitely not unrelated. Although Ive had to be careful with the "always more problems to solve" thing. I like that it always getting deeper / higher. There's just always MORE

Interesting! I'd love to know more about working with the ...

2025-11-15T15:24:02Z

In reply to nevent1q…0sqm
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Interesting! I'd love to know more about working with the earth lines. Good to meet you.

Ooo! Let me hold onto that invitation - I appreciate it. I'll ...

2025-11-15T15:22:09Z

In reply to nevent1q…cgyn
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Ooo! Let me hold onto that invitation - I appreciate it. I'll message you. Good to meet you!

It can aye. I think with spiritual transmission you gotta ...

2025-11-15T15:15:24Z

In reply to nevent1q…t4mq
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It can aye. I think with spiritual transmission you gotta gravitate towards the translation that lands for you because it is essentially the same thing being said in a million different ways, which isn't a bad thing, but if you're not turned on by the way it's being said it gets boring.

Yess I absolutely feel you on that! Good to meet you!

2025-11-15T15:13:51Z

In reply to nevent1q…v4fx
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Yess I absolutely feel you on that! Good to meet you!

Lovely thank you and yes I've already been in touch with them ...

2025-11-14T19:21:08Z

In reply to nevent1q…yv08
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Lovely thank you and yes I've already been in touch with them and got the follow pack 😁

Hiiii!

2025-11-14T18:37:38Z

In reply to nevent1q…yagu
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Hiiii!

Lush. Good to meet you!

2025-11-14T18:37:26Z

In reply to nevent1q…nc5k
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Lush. Good to meet you!

"I am awake now" can sometimes translate to: "I moved ...

2025-11-14T17:42:35Z

"I am awake now" can sometimes translate to: "I moved from the ~asleep~ side to the ~conscious~ side" and what that means is, the internal divide is still there. This one has fucked me up hard a few times. Unaddressed internal division - the place in a person that is predisposed to thinking in binaries, left / right being the big one - will make you very predisposed to ideological compliance.

quoting
nevent1q…y3ac
"Sometimes the people who think they are the most "awake" are the most psyopable."

- Whitney Webb

#breakthestate #anarchy #limitedhangout #unlimitedhangoutb #AnonymousRaccoonSociety

Thank you!!

2025-11-14T17:34:53Z

In reply to nevent1q…3ugx
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Thank you!!

Amazing!

2025-11-14T17:34:05Z

In reply to nevent1q…0xe4
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Amazing!

Thank you so much for signal boosting!!

2025-11-14T17:29:08Z

In reply to nevent1q…d2w6
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Thank you so much for signal boosting!!

Thank you 🌹

2025-11-14T17:28:38Z

In reply to nevent1q…h3xp
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Thank you 🌹

Any other creatives / writers / teachers feel like they are ...

2025-11-14T14:47:25Z

Any other creatives / writers / teachers feel like they are drowning in a sea of bitcoin content? any tips on curation?

I WANNA CONNECT WITH PEOPLE WHO:

Have a spiritual mission.
Are integrating spiritual awakening.
Are drawn to feminine mysteries and womb work.
Are lane switching out of hustle and hyper-masculine ways of doing into an intuitive and regenerative way of being.
Are interested in masculine and feminine energetics and bringing those principles into balance.
See the world multi-dimensionally and wanna hear stories about outer body experiences, travelling across dimensions and dream working.

About me: My mission is to restore the architecture of divine remembrance in all the places where over-achieving, perfectionism and survival took its place. I help people dissolve loops driven by punishment, shame and separation from God. I hold powerful medicine for fear. My gifts are oracular and shamanic. I write constantly and have been writing constantly since I was a kid.

If we're on a wave length, I'd love to connect with you!

#asknostr #introductions

I was camping earlier in the year and on one of the nights, I ...

2025-11-11T16:46:43Z

I was camping earlier in the year and on one of the nights, I came face to face with something unsavoury, probably alien, while slipping between waking and sleeping.

Sometimes when I go through the paralysis, my soul doesn’t exit all the way, but I can open my eyes and see the field. What I saw was an ugly, lumpy, ghostly pale being attempting to get to me through my husband.

My first, knee-jerk instinct was to angrily grab it and pull it out, but in doing so I felt a grip around my soul-body tighten. So I let go and just looked at it. Remembering that it couldn’t do anything without my consent or participation.

The being dispersed like smoke. And then, not aware of my body anymore, I find myself in deep space, and I see the outline of my heart. Immediately I put a sheath of golden light around it.

The following months would see me dislodge something hard and metallic placed over the top of my heart space. In its absence, my mind has been able to drop down into my body *consistently* - as a baseline - for the first time basically ever.

The OCD-type mental compulsions have dropped off in a massive way. Which is miraculous, because the root of some of those pathways have existed ever since I can remember.

Last night I had a dream where I heard a voice in my head tell me that my soul could be harmed. (Not possible, but the soul could create a reality where it simulates that if it believes it.)

And I felt the fear penetrate. It is a creeping, constricting feeling in my body that is visceral as fuck even in the dream space, that I have felt many times before. But instead of me becoming engulfed in darkness and the dream space collapsing, I spot it, gather my focus, and set about commanding my space.

I see arms come over my shoulders - that same ghostly pale colour, and lumpy, with long finger nails. But they can’t touch me. I know what it is immediately.

A man comes to my assistance and places his hand over my heart and speaks out commands with me.

And I wake up.

It has been quite a trip to recognise that I have been under intense and unrelenting psychic attack for pretty much my entire life.

And moreover, that more attempts to penetrate my field are gonna happen, the brighter and clearer I get.

The more my mind drops back beyond the obsession and problem solving.

The more I recognise the unfuckwithable nature of my soul.

The more I learn let go of control.

AND, the more sovereign I become, the more I recognise that the attempts that the opposition makes to reassert itself are the ways it EXPOSES itself.

I don’t speak in terms of good vs evil very often but it is useless to pretend that this dichotomy isn’t a part of this reality and that dimensional warfare isn't at the root of a lot of psychic illness.

And my point here, is that the more rooted in the truth that you get, the more you identify with what you actually are, the more evil just gets caught with its trousers down, while scrambling to stay relevant.

I was good friends with a bloke in university, and it would take ...

2025-11-08T14:17:13Z

I was good friends with a bloke in university, and it would take some years after we’d long lost touch to realise that he was a compulsive liar with some pretty deep set narcissism.

I really don’t love the word because I think it’s thrown around a lot. And also because I think we all have narcissistic tendencies, sometimes more overt that we even realise, and we’d do well to get honest about that instead of calling everyone else one.

But here I am anyway lol
I remember him workshopping a piece in our creative writing class, and it got ripped to bits because it was a short fiction about child abuse, but it was just utterly devoid of any complexity. It was so shallow and strange. I’m almost certain he wasn’t telling his life story although I know some will argue that trauma can breed a kind of detached story telling. It read like the lyrics of a death metal track. Just gratuitously grim for the sake of it. He listened to a lot that music.

That workshop probably should have been a sign.
But I’m reflecting on it now because I made a few close friends during that time who were frequently and flagrantly untruthful and destructively self absorbed.

(I don’t think self absorption is an issue - even healthy - but I do think it can become destructive i.e damagingly narcissistic)

And do you know what was funny?

So was I.
And more specifically, I wasn’t in the house. Just wasn’t there. I related with people who - albeit unconsciously - sensed that their nonsense could go unnoticed with me, because I was so outside of myself. Could barely see a car coming - inches from running me over - because I was so far away from myself most of the time.

(What's funny, is that I have the gift of sight.)

I came to uni at the height of the chronic disassociation that would lead to a break down at the end of it.

Unsurprisingly, post mental break, those friendships fell away, very quickly. Almost all in one go. It was like I’d come out of a really deep fog, one that I knew even then was eventually gonna kill me if I didn’t shift.

I’m pondering it because I’m pondering this way that we can carry the exact kind of velcro that hooks into other people’s.

Cultivating presence - the kind of presence that is so clear and quiet it transforms everything it touches - is how you become velcro-less. Because when you see that clearly, nothing gets past you, and deception knows when it won’t get away with it.

I chose not to see for a while because I didn’t have the emotional capacity or maturity to hold the truth. And when you see the truth, there are places where you are also gonna need to start telling it.

It’s funny that my core gift is sight and also it is brilliant. I had the exact initiation around it that I was supposed to have.