Nostr notes by Lynnesbian :bune_ylw:

UPDATE: mallory is willing to visit me in person! i've left ...

2026-09-02T00:35:18Z

In reply to nevent1q…3n3k
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UPDATE: mallory is willing to visit me in person! i've left my FIDO2 security key in the hotel room, and i'll make sure i only tell alice about that by encrypting my message to her with her new key that mallory forwarded me. the only other person who can access my hotel room is the maid, anyway, who i assume is not evil

my good friends alice and bob, who i trust completely, want to ...

2026-09-02T00:32:26Z

my good friends alice and bob, who i trust completely, want to introduce me to someone new they've met online, mallory! how exciting! i haven't visited mallory in person to exchange PGP keys, but i trust her through my trusted third parties.

first they came for the AI slop, and i said nothing, because they ...

2026-06-03T22:14:48Z

In reply to nevent1q…v9dg
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first they came for the AI slop, and i said nothing, because they were absolutely right. then they came for the human slop, and -- due to the fact that the aforementioned research paper by smith (1999) soundly demonstrated that i myself had not in fact stood up for (and in doing so defended the rights of) the large number of AI sloppers who had been come for prior by that same group that now came for me as further described in said paper -- the number of those who were prepared, willing, and motivated to stand up for me had dwindled to zero.

for the roughly 8% of uni students still generating their essays ...

2026-06-03T22:05:43Z

for the roughly 8% of uni students still generating their essays by hand: i regret to inform you that the word grammar checker (assigned green squiggle underline at birth, transitioned to double stroke blue underline. happy pride month everyone) has wisened up to several of my standard "word count reacher" tricks. it now suggests the following """fixes""":<li>"the aforementioned widgets" -> "the widgets"</li><li>"a number of gizmos" -> "many gizmos"</li><li>and, worst of all, my most reliable and enduring friend: "due to the fact that" -> "because"</li>

horrifyingly enough, it's even beginning to discover and suggest the removal of redundant adjectives. it occasionally suggests replacements like "a reliable bedrock" -> "a bedrock".

we can argue about the more existentially/cosmically disturbing erosion of writer's voice into a homogeneous Microsoft Approved Standard Voice, but of far more concern is this blatant attempt on our god-given right to bloviate on assignments. if the only difference in the rubric for a distinction vs a high distinction is the word "remarkably" becoming "exceptionally", you better believe i'm expanding "john (20xx) shows" into "the study by john (20xx) reveals that a group of researchers were able to demonstrate that".

stay safe out there folks.

sounds like the web is about to get a lot more annoying to use ...

2026-05-06T21:18:34Z

sounds like the web is about to get a lot more annoying to use for #grapheneos users and others using #android devices with """compromised integrity""", people without smartphones, people using smartphones with other operating systems, etc.: https://support.google.com/recaptcha/answer/16609652

google's new "mobile reCAPTCHA verification" will require you to scan a QR code from either an iOS device with the reCAPTCHA app or an android device with up-to-date google play services.

EDIT: this is part of [google's new "fraud defense" system](https://cloud.google.com/blog/products/identity-security/introducing-google-cloud-fraud-defense-the-next-evolution-of-recaptcha/ ), and is (seemingly) intended to be used for more "important" things like purchases rather than just e.g. comment sections. however, there's nothing stopping site owners from using this thing everywhere

step 1: i want to keep a mutable reference to an element of an ...

2026-04-29T23:52:30Z

step 1: i want to keep a mutable reference to an element of an RwLock so i don't have to keep writing it out every time
step 2: ah, i can't do that because the &mut would outlive the mutex guard. i'll create a block to scope the reference inside the mutex's lifetime
step 3: this works, but i need to call self.foo() which takes &mut self. this would mean having two mutable references to self simultanously, which isn't allowed
step 4: i'll create a closure to reduce the scope of the mutex ref. you'll have to use with_thingy(|thingy| thingy.whatever()), but it works
step 5: i can't do that because closures can't be cast to fn() pointers if they capture their environments, and i can't use impl Fn() because you can't use impl Trait in closure arguments.

now i've ended up with this abomination: a closure that takes a boxed closure that takes the mutable reference. i think i should have abandoned this approach somewhere around step 4

#rust

due to popular demand... Star Wars: Lynne & Roxie Edition in ...

2026-04-03T00:08:29Z

In reply to nevent1q…caxz
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due to popular demand... Star Wars: Lynne & Roxie Edition in all its glory! i don't really know what i'm doing with torrents, so hopefully this works 🤞

torrent file: https://files.catbox.moe/lpng8l.torrent

magnet link: magnet:?xt=urn:btih:49042979e90ba04bab45c43c24b7fbbe98bc570e&dn=SWLRE&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Ftracker.opentrackr.org%3A1337%2Fannounce

please seed!

#swle

i've created a torrent but i don't know if it actually ...

2026-04-03T00:01:57Z

i've created a torrent but i don't know if it actually works. all my friends are asleep/busy (timezones 😭) and i need someone to test it. you don't have to download the whole thing, but just see if any of it downloads at all. i only need ☝️ one volunteer to send the .torrent file to

i made this for my girlfriend roxie ...

2026-04-02T22:31:17Z

In reply to nevent1q…u22x
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i made this for my girlfriend roxie (https://bsky.app/profile/roxie.computerwit.ch). she loved it so much she added several of her own edits -- for example, the additional "...eight" in the prior scene

here's one for all the ed edd n eddy fans out there #swle ...

2026-04-02T22:29:41Z

In reply to nevent1q…77hg
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here's one for all the ed edd n eddy fans out there

#swle

at one point, all the assets for the project were occupying 60 ...

2026-04-02T22:14:24Z

In reply to nevent1q…gvzt
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at one point, all the assets for the project were occupying 60 gigabytes of space on my laptop. it was worth every byte

i mentioned keeping it a secret in the first post. you might be ...

2026-04-02T22:12:52Z

In reply to nevent1q…j9r4
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i mentioned keeping it a secret in the first post. you might be wondering why i did that.

this is an example of [what noodle on youtube calls a "gaslight edit"](https://youtu.be/DX_zzdnMMYA ). the point of these edits is to present them as if you were just watching the normal movie. as the movie goes on, the edits get more and more extreme, and the victim viewer begins to doubt their memory. eventually, the edits become ridiculous enough that it's obvious that the movie has been edited, at which point you reveal your sick and twisted nature

this is my favourite joke by far. i'm not even going to ...

2026-04-02T22:01:29Z

In reply to nevent1q…mc9l
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this is my favourite joke by far. i'm not even going to describe what it is here, i want you to experience even a fraction of the surprise that the people i showed this to in person had when watching it for the first time

#swle

"who?" #swle ...

2026-04-02T21:47:33Z

In reply to nevent1q…ctrs
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"who?"

#swle

here's an example of what the earlier edits looked like: i ...

2026-04-02T21:45:27Z

In reply to nevent1q…2yj6
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here's an example of what the earlier edits looked like: i added a bunch of shot/reverse shots and colour grading changes to this scene. it's stupid but it gets me every time

#swle

i've been keeping this a secret for half a year, but i can ...

2026-04-02T21:42:31Z

i've been keeping this a secret for half a year, but i can finally come clean now.

i spent months editing the entire star wars movie. at first i made subtle changes (colour correction, fake shot/reverse shot scenes, etc.), but as the movie went on, my edits got more and more absurd (extra powerpoint transition wipes, doom door open/close sound effects, etc.).

i can't upload the full thing for obvious reasons, but here's one of my favourite parts: the death star scene. spoilers for a movie that came out nearly four decades ago

(EDIT: [now available to download](https://fedi.lynnesbian.space/@lynnesbian/116337862887433192 ))

#swle

You're doubting my humanity, but **you're missing some ...

2026-02-20T22:10:21Z

You're doubting my humanity, but **you're missing some key points**. Here are some of the things I've seen:<li>Attack ships firing off the shoulder of Orion. These aren't just battleships — they're spacecraft designed for warfare.</li><li>C-beams glittering in the dark. Their location? Near the Tannhäuser Gate. </li><li>Things you wouldn't believe. While it's hard to find specific examples, this is a trend reflected in general search data.</li>

**The bottom line**: All those moments will be **lost** — like **tears in rain**.

sometimes when i feel my code has too many confusing states, i ...

2026-01-27T21:47:49Z

sometimes when i feel my code has too many confusing states, i like to stop, take a deep breath, and open [the MSDN page for the MsoTrioState enum](https://learn.microsoft.com/en-au/dotnet/api/microsoft.office.core.msotristate ).MsoTrioState

is "a tri-state Boolean value". it has five possible values. only two of them are supported.

the only supported values are true and false.

a point in favour of the association between the sparkle emoji ...

2026-01-21T21:53:16Z

In reply to nevent1q…zjmk
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a point in favour of the association between the sparkle emoji and generative AI: gnome's [new icon set](https://teams.pages.gitlab.gnome.org/Design/icon-development-kit/ ) contains [a sparkle icon](https://gitlab.gnome.org/Teams/Design/icon-development-kit/-/blob/9f7170a1d15d6e7e0dcf77698781875dd97a24e3/icons/ai-slop.svg?plain=1 ) called ai-slop, which is also tagged with generative and bullshit

hello british users on this webbed site. please explain to me why ...

2025-10-14T10:18:19Z

hello british users on this webbed site. please explain to me why the speed camera sign depicts an 1800s bellows camera.

do not make the same mistake that my notoriously british friend lucy did in assuming that this is a box camera with the lens facing towards the viewer with a mounting bracket. this is a bellows camera facing sideways with the lens pointed at the road. [read em and weep.](https://petapixel.com/2023/04/10/yes-the-uk-speed-camera-icon-really-is-a-19th-century-camera/ )

#YUK

irritating. i choose to blame bill gates for this also

2025-09-30T03:53:59Z

In reply to nevent1q…7nsx
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irritating. i choose to blame bill gates for this also

fun fact number one: if you lose your internet and reconnect, ...

2025-09-30T03:51:01Z

fun fact number one: if you lose your internet and reconnect, outlook for web will *appear* to continue working, but will no longer receive incoming emails. this can be fixed by reloading the page

fun fact number two: outlook for web has a handy keyboard shortcut for replying to the email you're reading! it's ctrl+R.

wait a minute... these facts aren't fun at all :(

here's an actual fun fact to make up for this: [this shortcut is probably bill gate's fault](https://devblogs.microsoft.com/oldnewthing/20140715-00/?p=503 )! or at least, that's what i'm choosing to believe, because it's funnier that way

mastodon has a quote feature now? we have quoots? awesome the ...

2025-09-28T22:11:49Z

mastodon has a quote feature now? we have quoots? awesome

the fediverse now has an answer to twitter's greatest contribution to society: screenshots that you have to read like this

my thoughts on the [upcoming android sideloading ...

2025-09-19T04:37:53Z

my thoughts on the [upcoming android sideloading changes](https://9to5google.com/2025/08/25/android-apps-developer-verification/ )

User Interface Wrapped<li>You spent 23 ...

2025-09-02T22:37:25Z

User Interface Wrapped<li>You spent 23 hours using an analogue stick to drag a cursor around various AAA game menus</li><li>You accidentally clicked the wrong button because an element loaded in above it and pushed it down suddenly 58 times</li><li>Your password manager autofilled your username into the wrong field 126 times</li><li>You clicked "remind me later" on a dialogue box you'd rather never be reminded of 96 times</li><li>You made 6,834 minor typos that were caught by autocorrect</li><li>You made 532 typos that were caused by autocorrect, including 56 "duck off"s and 22 "go to he'll"s</li><li>You checked the "remember me" box 87 times, and it actually worked 21% of the time</li><li>You only ruined a mailing list thread by clicking "reply" instead of "reply all" once - but you'll be thinking about it for the rest of the year</li><li>You spent 3 hours typing search queries into an alphabetical on-screen keyboard with a TV remote</li>

when creating backups, always remember the 321 rule: ...

2025-08-27T21:55:13Z

when creating backups, always remember the 321 rule: <li>hack together 3 bespoke bash scripts</li><li>each should contain 2 unreadable lines piping <code>find</code> and <code>grep</code> and <code>date</code> and <code>awk</code> and <code>tar</code> that are long enough to require word wrapping on a widescreen display</li><li>the backup client and server should be the 1 same machine</li>

-----BEGIN JOKE TONE INDICATED BLOCK----- i thought of a way to ...

2025-07-13T22:42:31Z

-----BEGIN JOKE TONE INDICATED BLOCK-----

i thought of a way to make tone indicators more obvious to people who haven't seen them before

-----END JOKE TONE INDICATED BLOCK-----

KDE devs in the 2000s choosing a name for every single app they ...

2025-07-06T22:19:57Z

KDE devs in the 2000s choosing a name for every single app they write

the master was practicing the art of windows defence when the ...

2025-05-27T10:57:38Z

the master was practicing the art of windows defence when the student approached with a question.

"master soft," she asked, "is it true that the windows kernel can write to thousands of files per second?"

"it is," the master replied.

the student demonstrated her code. "i can only write a few hundred at most," she complained. "CloseHandle is blocking for several milliseconds."

"are the open calls finishing quickly?" the master enquired.

"yes," the student confirmed.

"and the write calls, too?"

"yes."

the master smiled. "then the windows kernel is writing to thousands of files per second."

upon hearing this, the student was enlightened.

i thought gasoline was a variant of kerosene or something?? i ...

2025-05-07T22:33:42Z

i thought gasoline was a variant of kerosene or something?? i didn't know it was just petrol... i thought gas was just weird slang for petrol like how bucks are dollars... am i stupid

me using an IDE: okay, i press Ctrl+W a couple times to expand ...

2025-05-06T21:21:12Z

In reply to nevent1q…0n02
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me using an IDE: okay, i press Ctrl+W a couple times to expand the selection to the grandparent's scope, then do a move refactor to a sibling module and use a fifty character regex to fix up some outdated doc comments. okay, that took thirty seconds, i'll commit on the refactor branch so i don't lose my progress, then switch back to main and iterate on the new settings format

me using a digital painting programme: ah. i seem to have coloured the shirt on the body layer, which wouldn't have worked if i hadn't accidentally made the body mask layer take up the entire character two hours ago. i guess i'll just undo those ten minutes of work, which means i'll lose the hair, too. i don't remember which oil brush preset i mangled into looking like hair, so i'll just spend the next two minutes moving a slider two steps to the right, then painting a circle, then undoing it over and over until i get something that sort of looks right.

the way a digital artist would feel watching me draw is exactly ...

2025-05-06T21:12:57Z

the way a digital artist would feel watching me draw is exactly the same way i feel watching my dad use excel.

i can't complain about how painful it is to see someone double-clicking the copy button in the ribbon, then click-dragging the scrollbar, then clicking a cell, then double-clicking paste. i'm out here tapping the tablet screen while hovering with the pen (which blocks finger input), then moving the pen out of the way, tapping the eraser tool, then literally rubbing out mistakes like i'm using a physical eraser, then using the pen tool to fix the smudged edges i've just caused.

my dad's penguin typing doesn't seem so bad compared to me using the pen to carefully fill in the white edges left by the paint bucket fill tool.

my dad asks me how to make C7 display the average of cells C1 through C6, i have three tabs open desperately trying to relearn how mask layers work (i did this one week ago and have since forgotten. i will forget again one week from now.)

i don't know why people get confused about [confusing topic] ...

2025-05-02T23:17:31Z

i don't know why people get confused about [confusing topic] so often. it's literally just [straightfoward rule], unless [extremely common condition], in which case you just [counterintuitive transformation] or [inexplicably different pattern] depending on [obscure property]. it's like [overused analogy] except [exception that makes the analogy useless].

this new discord update is awful ...

2025-03-31T21:27:46Z

this new discord update is awful

there's a certain visual poetry to my badly written code ...

2025-03-09T00:29:04Z

there's a certain visual poetry to my badly written code

if steam could give us this (left), why can microsoft and sony ...

2025-01-21T21:22:41Z

In reply to nevent1q…hz87
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if steam could give us this (left), why can microsoft and sony and nintendo not do any better than this (right)?

steam is a WEB STORE COMPANY specialising in DIGITAL HATS that made a NICHE CONTROLLER, ONCE, and it FLOPPED! microsoft invented the start button THIRTY YEARS AGO and has made FOUR GENERATIONS OF GAME CONSOLES with ON SCREEN QWERTY!!!

every time i have to type something in on a TV with an on-screen ...

2025-01-21T21:15:48Z

every time i have to type something in on a TV with an on-screen keyboard i'm amazed that it still sucks as much now as it did five, ten, fifteen years ago.

how has *nobody* thought of anything better than moving a cursor around to click individual letters? how have some interfaces made it *worse* by using five rows of alphabetically ordered keys?

i've watched my parents hit "search" instead of space on android TV's youtube keyboard multiple times. i've done it myself multiple times. i've hit "clear" instead of "search" at least twice.

the PSP had qwerty or T9. T9 with a d-pad sucks, but it at least sucks a bit less. the PS5 has qwerty or qwerty with motion controls.

nearly ten years ago, steam input gave us the [daisy wheel keyboard]( ). yesterday, i typed "evil" and hit search on my xbox controller, because scrolling through pages of games with "evil" in their names to find the one i was looking for was a more appealing prospect than typing "the evil within" on that God awful on-screen keyboard.

dumb phones gave us T9. PDAs gave us handwriting recognition. smartphones gave us swipe typing. TVs gave us an experience so painful that there's an app to connect your phone to your TV just so you can use its keyboard instead of the TV's.

if LG can make their remote a wiimote, and google can put a microphone and speaker in theirs, and everyone can find the space for a fucking netflix button, why can nobody put some sort of typing interface on a TV remote?

if an xbox or playstation or switch controller has fifteen buttons and two analogue sticks and a d-pad, why does typing have to be limited to moving a cursor around a qwerty board?

xbox has a feature where you can PIN protect your account, and you enter your pin by using ten different buttons on the controller to input the ten different digits. that way, nobody can see what you're typing as you're typing it. that's genuinely clever design! why didn't they spend some of that brainpower on the fucking keyboard!!!

does anyone know why the latest debian live image won't boot ...

2025-01-20T22:00:58Z

does anyone know why the latest debian live image won't boot on my machine?

CPU: transmeta crusoe flashed with custom 128bit RISC-V firmware
GPU: four nVidia TNT 2 cards running in SLI
RAM: dual mercury delay line (32 words × 17 bits × 2, XMP overclocked, ECC enabled)
storage: ZFS RAID2 array of three hundred free iCloud accounts
network: google pixel 9 pro running gemini nano with the prompt "you are an ethernet card. your job is to route packets. do not hallucinate."

can a UI designer (preferably one who works at microsoft) tell me ...

2024-11-18T20:46:17Z

can a UI designer (preferably one who works at microsoft) tell me why there's a link in windows settings labelled "changing taskbar colour", which opens a bing search in edge for "change windows 11 taskbar colour site:microsoft.com", with colours spelt the UK way, which shows zero results but has a suggestion box containing a button labelled "open colors setting", with colours spelt the US way, which opens a new tab which asks if you'd like edge to open settings, which opens the windows settings app to the colour personalisation page, only to have the "set taskbar colour" switch be greyed out

intel in 1997 spending millions of dollars on superbowl ...

2024-09-20T01:59:44Z

intel in 1997 spending millions of dollars on superbowl advertising to announce that their latest processors can add multiple numbers together simultaneously under certain conditions

i think i may have successfully engineered the worst possible ...

2024-09-05T01:43:42Z

i think i may have successfully engineered the worst possible tech headline that will still get a net positive number of upvotes on /r/programming

Generics Considered Harmful: How Using ChatGPT to Rewrite All Four Thousand of our Blockchain-Based Open World Survival Game's Microservices From C++ into JavaScript Improved Performance by Three Million Percent and Saved us Thousands of Dollars in Hourly AWS Bills; And How we Subsequently Took Down GitHub for Six Hours with a Four Hundred Megabyte Pull Request

we need british tabloids for technology "I WAS IN TEARS" ...

2024-08-10T00:26:19Z

we need british tabloids for technology

"I WAS IN TEARS" - liverpool mum SHOCKED by APALLING UI CHANGES in POPULAR EMAIL CLIENT - are YOU affected?

NOT SO ZEN: critics SLAM new ryzen chips in TELL-ALL BENCHMARKS - nutty AMD engineers go for "energy efficiency"! PLUS: VEXING AVX-512!

CRONTAB CATASTROPHE - how one simple command could WIPE your CRONTAB

YOU DOT EXE? COPING WITH COPILOT - it can WRITE YOUR EMAILS, ATTEND YOUR MEETINGS... is meddling microsoft planning to replace brits with AI VERSIONS of THEMSELVES?

"I COULD HAVE LOST IT ALL": how a BALMY BTRFS CONFIG nearly RUINED BARRY'S LIFE

i think the reasoning capabilities of large language models have ...

2024-07-09T00:27:38Z

In reply to nevent1q…g986
_________________________

i think the reasoning capabilities of large language models have been somewhat over exaggerated

decided to try out google's gemini chatbot thing... i started ...

2024-07-09T00:17:36Z

decided to try out google's gemini chatbot thing... i started by asking about new features in ARMv8 and ten minutes later it was arguing and doubling down that powerPC was a CISC architecture

its reasoning was:<li>newer powerPC chips can run code written for older ones, and backwards compatibility is pretty complex</li><li>it has SIMD extensions</li>

the clean chinese-room engineering problem: person A studies and ...

2024-06-26T07:22:33Z

the clean chinese-room engineering problem: person A studies and reverse-engineers a piece of software, then writes a chinese-language document describing its precise function. this document is passed to person B, who does not speak chinese, but uses a chinese-to-english dictionary to translate the document to english. this translated document is given to person C, who implements the software as described in the document. which of these people, if any, have violated the oracle end user license agreement?

playing PC games from the 2000s is like This game, like most ...

2024-06-19T07:07:44Z

playing PC games from the 2000s is like

This game, like most Scringle Engine 3 games, does not support widescreen, and instead crops the 4:3 image to a 16:9 ratio. This can be fixed with Jambo's Game Tool, although this will disable the "Advanced Features" video option, which will remove reflections from puddles and mirrors.

To fix the immediate crash when starting the cutscene on level 3, download GregFix.dll from the GregUtils website (no link provided - Greg will send DMCA takedowns to any websites besides Google that provide his website's URL) and drop it in your system32 folder. Run the game with administrator privileges twice, letting it crash both times, then start it normally. This is confirmed to work on December 2022 through April 2023 builds of Windows 10.

the source everyone reports for this PDF is gone, and it's ...

2020-04-10T05:52:25Z

In reply to nevent1q…hwv3
_________________________

the source everyone reports for this PDF is gone, and it's not exactly easy to find swiss train law documentation when you don't even speak german

but here's a current link: https://www.hech.ch/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/I-30111_09122018_Anhoerung.pdf

page 123, section 4.8.4 "Zugbildung"

in switzerland you aren't allowed to have a train with ...

2020-04-10T05:38:50Z

in switzerland you aren't allowed to have a train with exactly 256 axles because of an integer overflow in the axle counting machine

i wish i could fix my software bugs by making it illegal to cause them