2026-05-30T09:25:39Z https://njump.me Alex C https://njump.me/npub1zhnprlmak2nulv05l3mdt004uprfywsecttgd7tk7gl3r5fvc4es3f95tq https://autistics-life.s3.bhs.io.cloud.ovh.net/accounts/avatars/113/346/323/451/987/220/original/bc22f31c7a004817.jpg https://autistics-life.s3.bhs.io.cloud.ovh.net/accounts/avatars/113/346/323/451/987/220/original/bc22f31c7a004817.jpg https://njump.me/nevent1qqsrnscc67t2gupnwqayz7ztqls8vzwn4pgqdxpxyx7y694udd8hglgzyq27vy0l0ke20na37n78d4da7hsydy36r8pddphewmer7yw39nzhxn0jcuj Good explanation from Professor Sol on TikTok (sorry) of how authentic #autistic apologies and explanations are seen by offended/defensive non-autistics as inauthentic non-apologies and excuses.<br/><br/>This is *not* a case of &#34;autistics are bad at social cues&#34;. It&#39;s exactly the opposite. It&#39;s &#34;non-autistics are bad at social cues from autistics&#34;. They hear their own anger over our words. They demand *instant submission*, not constructive mutual understanding and cooperative resolution of an underlying conflict or miscommunication.<br/><br/>But autistics know that an apology without an explanation is hollow! We need to know what we&#39;re apologizing for first... or if maybe we really didn&#39;t do anything wrong after all.<br/><br/><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@better_sol/video/7432298940768308511">https://www.tiktok.com/@better_sol/video/7432298940768308511</a><br/><br/>also this is *not* an &#34;NT vs ND&#34; issue since lots of non-autistic NDs do this to autistic NDs too -- perhaps even moreso than NTs!<br/><br/>#ActuallyAutistic <span itemprop="mentions" itemscope itemtype="https://schema.org/Person"><a itemprop="url" href="/npub10v4vhs3yx0g5lyw7wjn3arkqdazna5v7p237m79wc9lk6d5r72lsnls27h" class="bg-lavender dark:prose:text-neutral-50 dark:text-neutral-50 dark:bg-garnet px-1"><span>ActuallyAutistic group</span> (<span class="italic">npub10v4…s27h</span>)</a></span> 2024-11-04T17:32:17Z https://njump.me/nevent1qqsqa3ty0v7epawngwh9l6u6uutj5ajz3fglmr5pj76s55whysr5lkczyq27vy0l0ke20na37n78d4da7hsydy36r8pddphewmer7yw39nzhxzyglx8 In reply to <a href='/nevent1qqsg050nwe99pllf2jet3f0dp8r9n28kjaykvuewnv0l5mxupf2yw4sgxvlz4'>nevent1q…vlz4</a><br/>_________________________<br/><br/>#ActuallyAutistic<br/><br/>ironically the terms &#34;autistic&#34; and &#34;allistic&#34; are semantically backwards, at least in this conversational context<br/><br/>autistic folks tend to converse allocentrically (focusing on interactions between others, and systems and abstractions and analyses thereof)<br/><br/>allistic folks tend to converse egocentrically (focusing on their own stories and feelings as they tangentially intersect with others&#39;)<br/><br/>(this term reversal is because the dummy who named autism mistook sensory overload and shutdown for pathological egoism and lack of empathy and named it &#34;autism&#34; meaning &#34;self-centered-ism&#34;) 2024-11-02T21:04:45Z