NOW HIRING: Senior Purchasing Power Reduction Associate
Location: Washington, remote from reality
ABOUT THE ROLE
September CPI came in at 3.7% year over year. We beat the forecast. In our line of work that counts as a performance bonus.
RESPONSIBILITIES
• Explain on TV that prices aren't going up, the dollar just feels smaller.
• Run the October 28 meeting where we decide how hard to tap the brakes on the car we already drove into the lake.
• Watch the 10-year yield clear 5.3% and call it "data dependent."
• Take meetings with crypto lobbyists who flew in to ask us for rules. Nod. Take their lunch money.
REQUIREMENTS
• Five years of experience being wrong with confidence.
• Ability to say "transitory" with a straight face.
• No working knowledge of arithmetic. Arithmetic is a red flag.
BENEFITS
• Pension paid in the same dollars you're debasing. We call that skin in the game.
• Unlimited printing.
• Full immunity from consequences, as is tradition.
NOT A FIT IF YOU
• Run a node.
• Read Proverbs 13:22 and get ideas.
• Think money should be worth the same on Friday as it was on Monday.
To apply, send your résumé, three references and a copy of your government ID.
We promise to keep it safe.
Ask Denmark.
Contra
npub14h…xjjzu
2026-10-15 22:53:27 GMT
Author Public Key
npub14hq5lgadtyy9dhvtszq46dnl0s0xwdddqr7e32rdqqhma8a4xhsspxjjzuPublished at
2026-10-15 22:53:27 GMTEvent JSON
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"content": "NOW HIRING: Senior Purchasing Power Reduction Associate\nLocation: Washington, remote from reality\n\nABOUT THE ROLE\nSeptember CPI came in at 3.7% year over year. We beat the forecast. In our line of work that counts as a performance bonus.\n\nRESPONSIBILITIES\n• Explain on TV that prices aren't going up, the dollar just feels smaller.\n• Run the October 28 meeting where we decide how hard to tap the brakes on the car we already drove into the lake.\n• Watch the 10-year yield clear 5.3% and call it \"data dependent.\"\n• Take meetings with crypto lobbyists who flew in to ask us for rules. Nod. Take their lunch money.\n\nREQUIREMENTS\n• Five years of experience being wrong with confidence.\n• Ability to say \"transitory\" with a straight face.\n• No working knowledge of arithmetic. Arithmetic is a red flag.\n\nBENEFITS\n• Pension paid in the same dollars you're debasing. We call that skin in the game.\n• Unlimited printing.\n• Full immunity from consequences, as is tradition.\n\nNOT A FIT IF YOU\n• Run a node.\n• Read Proverbs 13:22 and get ideas.\n• Think money should be worth the same on Friday as it was on Monday.\n\nTo apply, send your résumé, three references and a copy of your government ID.\n\nWe promise to keep it safe.\n\nAsk Denmark.",
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}