The thing with lightning is that you're going to have to deal with liquidity and opening channels. Supposedly https://github.com/ZmnSCPxj/clboss is good at automatically managing your node, but it requires Core Lightning which is different from the node software that most plebs use - LND. https://github.com/cryptosharks131/lndg is an alternative that runs on LND, but it's not as automated.
Anyway, back to easily running software without a GUI - your best option is probably to set up Ubuntu Server in a VPS and follow k3tan (npub1txw…yt4x) guide https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCRbH-IWlcW2A_kpx2XwAMgT0rcZEZ2Cg
This is definitely not a 1-click/1-step solution. But you're crazy smart and the guide is really good. Let me know what you decide to go with.
Personally, I think Start9 (npub126n…e9ll) is great. It is GUI-based, but letting them handle the software packages is super convenient and reliable. Good luck!