The thing that’s frustrating about personal insecurity is that you can doubt yourself, even when there’s tangible evidence to the contrary. I personally hold on deeply to the idea that I’m stupid, may have a steep learning disability, and have been masking all this time.
What makes no sense, though, is that I literally spent two hours the other day talking to a guy in detail about peer-to-peer system architecture. I can program games with elaborate, bespoke systems. I’ve written over 100 technical articles, and led engineering teams through detailed implementations. I write poetry, make art, compose music, make people laugh, and will stay up all night talking to someone in need.
I know I should just “get over it”, but insecurity is weird in that it’s not rational. I can point this out to myself, but it doesn’t change how I feel.