HellRavenMatingPress on Nostr: WHILE I'M ON THE TOILET HERE'S AN EXTENSIVE LIST OF REASONS WHY DEVIL MAY CRY 2 IS ...

WHILE I'M ON THE TOILET HERE'S AN EXTENSIVE LIST OF REASONS WHY DEVIL MAY CRY 2 IS FUCKING VAGINA CANCER
1. IT'S FUCKING EASY AS PISS EVEN ON THE OSTENSIBLY HARD DIFFICULTY (I AM NOT YET SUICIDAL ENOUGH TO REACH DANTE MUST DIE)
2. DESPITE BEING EASY AS PISS HALF THE BOSSES TAKE 8 FUCKING YEARS TO KILL
3. HAMMERING YOUR GUNS FOR 19 FUCKING YEARS IS THE OPTIMAL STRAT FOR NEARLY EVERY ENEMY IN THE GAME BECAUSE THEY FLAIL AROUND LIKE WINDMILLS AND WILL KNOCK YOU ACROSS THE ROOM WHILE TAKING ABOUT 1% OF YOUR HEALTHBAR SO THEY POSE ABSOLUTELY NO THREAT BUT THE ONLY WAY TO ATTACK THEM WITHOUT WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF (EVEN MORE) IS G U N S
4. THE FUCKING HELICOPTER BOSS FIGHT. HOLY FUCK I WANT TO MURDER WHOEVER DESIGNED THAT
5. THE FUCKING TANK BOSS FIGHT, MY PRETEEN FUCKING SISTER FIGURED OUT THAT YOU CAN LITERALLY STAND IN FRONT OF THE TANK AND WHACK IT WITH A SWORD AND NEVER GET HIT ONCE BUT ONCE AGAIN IT TAKES 8 FUCKING YEARS TO DIE
6. YOUR CHARACTER'S CENTRE OF GRAVITY SHIFTS TO ANOTHER FUCKING DIMENSION WITH EVERY MOVEMENT, IT CONTROLS LIKE FUCKING SHIT
7. LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY STINGER
8. THE DIRECTIONAL COMBO GAY BULLSHIT IS FUCKING AWFUL, PAUSE COMBOS ARE A 100000000000000000X BETTER IDEA YOU FUCKING NIGGERS
9. THERE'S SOME FUCKING FAG WITH TWO BALL AND CHAINS BUT YOU FIGHT HIM IN A MASSIVE ASS FUCKING ROOM WHERE HE KEEPS ATTACKING BUT CAN'T REACH YOU WITHOUT HOBBLING FORWARD FOR 5 YEARS SO THE GAME SUMMONS 2 JOBBERS EVERY SO OFTEN THAT DIE IN .000001 SECOND AND THE ROOM SHOOTS OUT BLUE LASERS IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION EVERY TIME, TO BEAT THIS FUCKING BOSS YOU STAND IN ONE SPOT AND HAMMER THE ROCKET LAUNCHER BUTTON FOR E I G H T
F U C K I N G Y E A R S
10. DESPITE BEING THE EASIEST GAME SINCE "FIND A PEDOPHILE IN HOLLYWOOD" THE S RANK REQUIREMENTS ARE UNTRAMMELLED HORSESHIT AND FOR MOST LEVELS BASICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE
11. NOT THAT YOU'D WANNA BOTHER BECAUSE EVERY MELEE WEAPON HAS THE EXACT SAME MOVESET, LITERALLY NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ANY OF THEM, THEY'RE ALL GAY FUCKING SWORDS WITH GAY FUCKING NAMES
12. IT IS SOMEHOW THE LEAST SCUFFED PORT IN THE HD COLLECTION. SHOULD'VE PUT SOME OF THAT EFFORT INTO THE GOOD GAMES FUCKING NIGGERCOM
13. DESPITE BEING A BROKEN FUCKING ABOMINATION THEY STILL SOMEHOW FOUND THE TIME TO MAKE FAGGY DIESEL COSTUMES FOR THE MAIN CHARACTERS
that is all