poe😱 on Nostr: I too have realized I'm just one of a psylocybe. Riding an existential curvature of ...

I too have realized I'm just one of a psylocybe. Riding an existential curvature of experience too profound for verbalization, too retarded for grandeur.

Or maybe I'm just high. Either way. All this garbage matters. Somewhere somehow to something. Even maggots need to feed.

quoting
nevent1q…wmft

I recently had a big shift in my life that has me feel like I am back from the dead. A second chance as what I had been building for a decade, and then proceeded to fuck-up because I was too stupid to see and value what I had been working on. I was sloppy and thoughtless about much of my approach to life and let that suck me into my own self-aggrandizing bullshit. In short, I was pretty childish about what I was doing as I thought I had made it.

A year and a half later, someway somehow, I got the smallest of shots to fix it. It was a massive risk that I had to stake really everything I had built on. But in that moment when I had to make a move, to do or die; I took a deep breath and took everything in that moment. I knew what it was, what risk I needed to take, and what the cost would be if I had miscalculated. But I knew, as knew more than anything in my soul that I would make it—but only with that risk being taken. It honestly felt like one of the most badass moment of my life because I really showed up for myself with no doubts, lack, or hesitation.

I crave moments like that in my life. They define the peaks and troughs of life, and are the most intense character building moments of my life. It is to choose to be the man in the arena, marred with the blood, sweat, and tear that only those who step into the arena will ever know. It is vastly more rewarding and fulfilling than any life with the cold and timid soul who choose a safe life where nothing is ever at risk.