Ive been starting to get casual feelings of wishing I was dead again because my hope n cope train is losing steam. I feel inherently wrong and pretty disassociated from myself. Its hard to figure out who I am without feling imposter syndrome for one reason or another. And whats the worse is the depersonalization I deal with. I feel kind of empty thinking about things i want to do. Ive ben playing pjsk and just checking off achievement boxes.
But I get overwhelmed trying to music, My hand numbs too much to draw,and internet slow to smoothly 3d model. Writing any of my ideas seems almost pointless and the final nail in the coffin is i dont think im actually funny to other people im just extremely annoying with how im a peppy tryhard and the reality is people are waiting for me to finish so they can just tell me things so i will shut up,
Ive been trying to opposite action the unjustified guilt and shame i have constantly about being a "mickey mouser" but it only kinda feels like im living up to the idea that im a lazy bullshitter as was so often said.... Sighs, ill update the trauma thread with voice recordings
The Beebz :verifiedplural: /
npub15c…hx0a6
2024-06-21 07:12:31
Author Public Key
npub15c425t7x5csq9rd7suhqgzscmecac4v9kdlk9f3k4fjncgz3k78qshx0a6Published at
2024-06-21 07:12:31Event JSON
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