JimBLogic on Nostr: How does someone find a meaningful vocation & new passion? I was obessed with Parkour ...

How does someone find a meaningful vocation & new passion?
I was obessed with Parkour for over 12 years in my teens & until I finished University studying Sports. By then I burnt out; I hated the burocracy & the crooked learning system. I gained weight with a good spoonful of apathy & depresion.
Most of it was my own fault I guess which I can see now... I distracted myself with a lot of partying / nightlife.
An earlier obession of mine before Parkour, was videogames. So I happened to become a Twitch LiveStreamer and ended up getting Partnered (Out of over 2 million active broadcasters, around 27,000 are Partners). But this project also seemd to fade down after a short-lived peak. This was while I was working full time in the HealthCare sector and had moved from Spain to the UK, I helped people with mental health problems (mostly schizophrenia). It was hard to do both jobs at the same time and Twitch wasn't paying the bills so I concentrated on my IRL job and got promoted twice, up to a Senior carer position.
Covid hit hard while working in the healthcare industry, I quickly realised that it was not my purpose and I was not going to be coerced to put anything in my body that I didn't find safe or properly researched and tested. Long story short I lost my job after over 6 years (statutory ban dismissal).
Back in Spain now, feeling trapped. Dunno what the fuck to do.
I think I want to learn python but I fail and feel overwhelmed every time I start with too much ambition, but little patience. Kind of wish I was naturaly gifted at something for onece in my life and didn't have to struggle for every single objective I set for my self... I at least got back in shape now that I'm doing Crossfit...
 Anyway, I guess I will regret posting this later, but I needed to rant.