ADHD has won the day and I have not gotten a single thing done all day. For several days now. Is this burnout? Any time I go to do work, I reach for my phone instead, and get anxious when I sit down to do work. I can't keep going like this...
Nothing at my current job is interesting or novel, and it's painful to focus on for any length of time outside of deadlines. Having to do every bad part of time/project/spreadsheeet management myself is killing me, and I really am having trouble keeping up when it's a struggle to get myself to do the bare minimum now.
I'm very scared this will continue even if I find a new job, that I'll eventually run out of luck and fail hard. There's so much riding on me finding a better job, not just for my own sake. It's all getting very overwhelming and I don't know how to fix that or ask for help without breaking down. I'm scared and it's starting to cripple my ability to do anything, despite the fact I KNOW that I HAVE to do this to have a better future, but no amount of pushing is getting my brain to work on what I need to in the meantime. The small steps are not working.
This is mostly a vent post, but I'll take any help or advice I can get. Self-discipline with my ADHD/Autism is lacking hard right now, and having to worry about so much at once is breaking me.
Calendars, journals, notes, spreadsheets, task apps, nothing is working for me. Never has. How do I organize when I can't stay to a system longer than a week?
Even drawing a blank coding now, when I realize just how far back I am at doing it. Everyone tells me my IT knowledge 'will be fine' at a new job, but I'm incredibly scared I've been pigeonholed too long at my current job with it's extreme lack of anything challenging, no exposure to any new tech, and no ability to do half the things I trained to do all these years. I don't think I can make up for this with a home lab as fast as I need to...
I'm just, real scared. #ADHD is defeating me right now.
2chaotic /
npub162…m323g
2023-07-10 22:01:06
Author Public Key
npub162spr5thsx5wf5qhpv66zlv7e7eqdvvykqtt7q7cm2gajz7pltjq9m323gPublished at
2023-07-10 22:01:06Event JSON
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"content": "ADHD has won the day and I have not gotten a single thing done all day. For several days now. Is this burnout? Any time I go to do work, I reach for my phone instead, and get anxious when I sit down to do work. I can't keep going like this... \n\nNothing at my current job is interesting or novel, and it's painful to focus on for any length of time outside of deadlines. Having to do every bad part of time/project/spreadsheeet management myself is killing me, and I really am having trouble keeping up when it's a struggle to get myself to do the bare minimum now. \n\nI'm very scared this will continue even if I find a new job, that I'll eventually run out of luck and fail hard. There's so much riding on me finding a better job, not just for my own sake. It's all getting very overwhelming and I don't know how to fix that or ask for help without breaking down. I'm scared and it's starting to cripple my ability to do anything, despite the fact I KNOW that I HAVE to do this to have a better future, but no amount of pushing is getting my brain to work on what I need to in the meantime. The small steps are not working. \n\nThis is mostly a vent post, but I'll take any help or advice I can get. Self-discipline with my ADHD/Autism is lacking hard right now, and having to worry about so much at once is breaking me. \n\nCalendars, journals, notes, spreadsheets, task apps, nothing is working for me. Never has. How do I organize when I can't stay to a system longer than a week? \n\nEven drawing a blank coding now, when I realize just how far back I am at doing it. Everyone tells me my IT knowledge 'will be fine' at a new job, but I'm incredibly scared I've been pigeonholed too long at my current job with it's extreme lack of anything challenging, no exposure to any new tech, and no ability to do half the things I trained to do all these years. I don't think I can make up for this with a home lab as fast as I need to... \n\nI'm just, real scared. #ADHD is defeating me right now.",
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