Funny thing. I was speaking like this in the dinner table. And everybody was looking at me weird, like I've gone crazy.
Then I said, the Jews, were waiting for a military Messiah. You know, someone like Chuck Norris in internet meme mode.
Can you imagine being a Jew, 2000 sumfin years ago, and having a Roman boot crushing your son or father's head? And there ain't nothing you can do about it. That anger.
So you wish, so you pray for the Messiah. You know, like the funny memes of Chuck Norris. Somebody who will kick the butt of the Romans all the way back to Italy.
Instead, you get this guy - who's gonna point out that he has come to save you - from your own sin. I mean, WTF?!
Don't you see the Roman soldier crushing my dad or son's head? Beat that motherfucker's ass to oblivion
At this point, my wife just went into "He's gone loco mode again".
And my daughters were rolling their eyes whispering.
anyway, while i was saying practically the same thing - The book that was near the table where I put my palms on was this:
Dang, nobody could understand the humor in this... Chuck Norris + Jesus Christ.
My wife is just like "He's blaspheming".
Two words: PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
Isn't that what they always say?
Now If you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then you should be able to talk to him like your buddy - but in reality he seems to be deaf most of the time. Anyway, that's besides the point.
IF YOu have a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP. You should be able to tell him,
"Bro, why can't you be more like Chuck Norris?"
Then you would both have a laugh.
Like two guys sitting on a bench with a bottle of beer.
Instead, everybody around seems to have this notion of Jesus Christ, of "Shut your trap, don't you know who you talkin about here? Don't say things like that! Jesus Christ aint no Chuck Norris FOOL"
He gonna woop you asss for your sins and send you FOREVER HELL, man. FOREVER HELL.
I mean, how do women see guys with a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with CHRIST? Do they see us with HALOs and shit like those Catholic Murals?
We deal with bad ass fuckers all the time. Bad ass fuckers we'd like to go "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND" ala SCARFACE prime Al Pacino.
But we don't. We can't.
So we go to JESUS CHRIST... and he ain't say nothing bro. Just shush, make the sign of the cross, kneel and cry.
Is that what people expect?
