My first romantic relationship was awful, and I think it was a couple things:
I had some sort of white knight ideal where I saw a girl in a bad situation and thought that I could come to her rescue. I know now how immensely stupid and self-serving that attitude is, after a lot of reflection on what went wrong. That'd be a wall of text. But to the point of red flags, one can overlook some pretty bad stuff if you see her as a victim and yourself as the hero.
The other thing is that when I had enough time in the relationship, it started feeling like "This is it. How could I break this up and start this process all over again with someone new?" I think we're wired to couple and start a family. Spending enough time with a person, even the wrong person, I felt plugged into them. This goes back to the mindset from the start. I was not consciously taking dating seriously as a path to marriage and family. So I didn't respect the power of romantic involvement.
Thank God this all happened when I was much younger and not to the degree of OP (sorry to hear about that, OP). So I had time to reflect and approach things the right way. Hope this note helps someone in a similar situation.
peaceful_revolt / ohmen
npub19qp…fm66
2024-06-15 14:15:19
in reply to nevent1q…hmc8
Author Public Key
npub19qpm67mrp77c5yyrs4pj6r2cxz5vkxa34u8fqn50t5da9khups3stkfm66Published at
2024-06-15 14:15:19Event JSON
{
"id": "e209d6a2f834e961cbdd2f7793acd56f9f8728598abfbd8c293283ca4334bf23",
"pubkey": "2803bd7b630fbd8a108385432d0d5830a8cb1bb1af0e904e8f5d1bd2dafc0c23",
"created_at": 1718453719,
"kind": 1,
"tags": [
[
"e",
"0752dd88c374a679b9ac8962043652b94c9f25cf7e52e1f81b98c358aeb21188",
"",
"root"
],
[
"e",
"ea35af29d09ecf547511e95606683d723d8d56a88d461c29469a04b0291a9d2c",
"",
"reply"
],
[
"p",
"3ab4c8ea97cd164d17f68990c1006e21e87f31a919a7013ecf2dae2e416938fd"
],
[
"p",
"76d8a3c32b59edd95a1fab6651a4bc4dbcb85551516c78de6f86e35b5eddc054"
]
],
"content": "My first romantic relationship was awful, and I think it was a couple things:\nI had some sort of white knight ideal where I saw a girl in a bad situation and thought that I could come to her rescue. I know now how immensely stupid and self-serving that attitude is, after a lot of reflection on what went wrong. That'd be a wall of text. But to the point of red flags, one can overlook some pretty bad stuff if you see her as a victim and yourself as the hero.\nThe other thing is that when I had enough time in the relationship, it started feeling like \"This is it. How could I break this up and start this process all over again with someone new?\" I think we're wired to couple and start a family. Spending enough time with a person, even the wrong person, I felt plugged into them. This goes back to the mindset from the start. I was not consciously taking dating seriously as a path to marriage and family. So I didn't respect the power of romantic involvement. \nThank God this all happened when I was much younger and not to the degree of OP (sorry to hear about that, OP). So I had time to reflect and approach things the right way. Hope this note helps someone in a similar situation. ",
"sig": "cde7407ce8ac4fe96a16bbb9c47d5e9048a83e7693dc73126d5cbae03214e2504079b00e016d99c8f56a9a7e62a46bc7ad7a0fb8aea27eb558ae02c2e178e3df"
}