We met someone who said she'd had a boyfriend for 5 years! That's too long!!
We had questions, so we asked her, and my husband fathered her, and encouraged her.
"We only get what we ask for, and if the other person isn't willing to go there, we'll take some time to heal, and then put ourselves out there again, and find someone who is willing to go there. And we will be okay!"
My husband and I only needed 68 days of intense conversations where we went through all our dealbreakers, dreams, secrets, and personalities, him trying to scare me away by being as honest as he could, and me going, yes, I can handle all if that, it even sounds like fun.
A lot of people marry someone based on attention and feeling they have when they're together. But the best way to have a great marriage is to practice sharing ALL our secrets, and trusting the other person to handle their own emotions, and give them the freedom to be themselves, instead of trying to make them into ourselves.
Oh, and secrets are, "I felt uncomfortable when you spoke to me like that," so boundaries about how we wanna be treated, "I really wanna get some ice cream," desires or dreams, however big or small, but our true, maybe usually hidden from ourselves too, dreams and wants.
As well as any other thing we hesitate to share with ourselves or our significant other.
Marriage has been attacked and distorted and most people don't even know what it is anymore. They think it's a big deal, but not sure why. They see everyone else getting married and then divorced, causing it to look like a hopeless endeavour.
Marriage isn't hopeless, it is hopeful! Marriage isn't infatuation, it's a life partnership. Feelings come from connection, not the other way around.
If you're closer (sharing more secrets) to anyone other than your spouse, you're choosing to put someone else in their place, and it wl have negative consequences for your marriage!! (Unless it's a really good therapist who is temporarily training you to be open with your spouse)
annsofinovelist / AnnsofiKJohnson.com
npub1ww8…wakr
2024-06-01 19:46:24
Author Public Key
npub1ww8hsuav93ktwuq7x9gxz6husfphnvfjk3nm5k5y982evjh3kymqh4wakrPublished at
2024-06-01 19:46:24Event JSON
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"content": "We met someone who said she'd had a boyfriend for 5 years! That's too long!!\nWe had questions, so we asked her, and my husband fathered her, and encouraged her. \n\n\"We only get what we ask for, and if the other person isn't willing to go there, we'll take some time to heal, and then put ourselves out there again, and find someone who is willing to go there. And we will be okay!\"\n\nMy husband and I only needed 68 days of intense conversations where we went through all our dealbreakers, dreams, secrets, and personalities, him trying to scare me away by being as honest as he could, and me going, yes, I can handle all if that, it even sounds like fun.\n\nA lot of people marry someone based on attention and feeling they have when they're together. But the best way to have a great marriage is to practice sharing ALL our secrets, and trusting the other person to handle their own emotions, and give them the freedom to be themselves, instead of trying to make them into ourselves. \nOh, and secrets are, \"I felt uncomfortable when you spoke to me like that,\" so boundaries about how we wanna be treated, \"I really wanna get some ice cream,\" desires or dreams, however big or small, but our true, maybe usually hidden from ourselves too, dreams and wants. \nAs well as any other thing we hesitate to share with ourselves or our significant other. \n\nMarriage has been attacked and distorted and most people don't even know what it is anymore. They think it's a big deal, but not sure why. They see everyone else getting married and then divorced, causing it to look like a hopeless endeavour. \nMarriage isn't hopeless, it is hopeful! Marriage isn't infatuation, it's a life partnership. Feelings come from connection, not the other way around. \nIf you're closer (sharing more secrets) to anyone other than your spouse, you're choosing to put someone else in their place, and it wl have negative consequences for your marriage!! (Unless it's a really good therapist who is temporarily training you to be open with your spouse)\n",
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