Google me. Now go to page 8. Nope, that's not me. Try page 12.
Public Key
npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z
Profile Code
nprofile1qqs2p9k8ga2wkd24vnm9t5kk23wj57c8v2z3hwv3j2zhtf68e4ka69spz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0wd68ytnsw43qqa9y8a
Author Public Key
npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z Show more details
Published at
2023-03-27T23:07:08+02:00 Event JSON
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"tags": [
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"mostr",
"https://mastodon.world/users/davidnjoku"
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"content": "{\"name\":\"David Njoku\",\"about\":\"Google me. Now go to page 8. Nope, that's not me. Try page 12.\\n\\n-------------------------------\\n\\nI'm #British and #Nigerian. I work in IT, but would much rather be hanging out with my kids.\\n\\nI listen to far too many #podcasts so I know a little about a lot, and a lot about very little.\",\"picture\":\"https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/accounts/avatars/109/285/542/502/067/410/original/e4a0dbea44cd583d.jpg\",\"banner\":\"https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/accounts/headers/109/285/542/502/067/410/original/61fb4dd0c7e76ef6.jpg\",\"nip05\":\"[email protected] \"}" ,
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}
Last Notes npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Can someone please reassure me that everything is going to be alright? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1t5k…nd3q Yes, them too. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Here's something most people don't know. In your final week at Computer Programming school all students sit a test called How Evil Are You? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub14nz…gac0 I think there have been riots in Wales too. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku In fact, in #Nigeria we had a politician who was a prototype Boris Johnson - a comedic bombast who spewed Latin phrases liberally without a care whether his listeners understood a word he was saying. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1scf…h5dd Is that the reason for the weird spelling? I've always wondered about that. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1lyk…vksr Of course. And I hope it came across that I was joking. I wasn't at all offended. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1lyk…vksr If this is what you say when you agree with me, I'd hate to hear what you say when you think I'm talking shit! 😃 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1n36…a9gg I lived in Kano for a few years. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Tell me your child just got a 3D printer without saying your child just got a 3D printer npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Dear America, I'm not saying we've got everything about elections right over here in the UK (cf. Boris Johnson and Liz Truss) but we do have 2 ideas that you might want to borrow: npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub16v7…qj7w What does Matthew McConaughey have - a twang or a drawl? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1y7s…xgqa American custard is white? I guess you learn something new every day. 😊 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku I know I'm going to regret asking but what's all this about JD Vance and a couch? Did he say something? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1u97…642q What do they call themselves? Nihon? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Instead of that "Are you human?" tick box, computers should show users this video of Derek Redmond and his father at the 1992 #Olympics, and then check to see if there's a tear in their eyes. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Why does everyone else have an accent, but if you're Irish it's called a "brogue"? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku I remember all the hand-wringing that overtook all of #Mastodon when #Threads announced that they were joining the Fediverse. It's the end of the world, it's the end of the world! we all said. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1x4p…hjr3 Could've been worse, you could've been called Tay O. Swift. 😊 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku I've noticed a new option when posting to #Mastodon, 'Quiet public' which promises "fewer algorithmic fanfare." What's that about? I thought Mastodon doesn't have any algorithms. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku If you only occasionally follow #athletics and are wondering what race to look out for at the #Olympics, make sure you check out the women's 400m hurdles. It'll be a clash between 2 of the most dominant athletes of our time: Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone and Femke Bol. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1pvf…093g I'm pixelfed.social/davidnjoku npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1vr3…83vc Careful. This dad slaps. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1hgt…a4wl I didn't know that npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1038…gl4y He's already tried it! 😂😂😂😂 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Dear Biden, before the #Nigeria elections last year, there was talk of one of the candidates being too old, too unhealthy. He didn't give any interviews, and there were videos of him stumbling infirmly. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1eam…kza8 He kinda sounds totally unhinged already npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1a4g…yuyx I hope the one who wasn't a fan was the girlfriend and not the wife. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub14vn…8aaw I did wonder if that was the answer. So you'd recommend it? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1kx8…0sus Exactly! I hope he learns the lesson soon npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub15yw…htxl All I'm hearing you say is that I've just taken the first steps in a very expensive journey. Soon I'll be trading this toy printer for something that costs way, way more. 😀 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Cos my son is 10, and not 5 like my daughter, he didn't invite the whole class to his birthday party, just 5 or so friends. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku I know you shouldn't post photos of your kids on social media lest you end up as a cautionary tale in a 7 part NPR podcast about deep fakes and whatever. But... npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku I've got names and numbers in my contact list from over 20 years ago - people I no longer know, numbers exchanged on drunken nights outside a club. I've got 2 numbers for someone called Bob. Who the hell is Bob? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1a6g…ghpe This hit me so hard. Being non-American, it's a perspective that's never occurred to me. My heart goes out to you and your kids. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1cnv…wml3 Found it online; I'm going to have to rely on Google Translate. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku "Your son is a bit effeminate," a friend said to me. "I'm pro-LGBTQ, of course I am. But are you sure your ex-wife isn't *pushing* him towards being gay? That's what woke people do these days."¹ npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Can someone who understands American politics please explain something to me: what's the bigger risk for Democrats - sticking with Biden or changing him this late in the game? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1d40…u7lw 😀 Of course I know you didn't mean that. I just feel like there's a really good response just outside my reach 😀 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku The Tories are shit, and if they retain 5 MPs in the next election that would be 6 MPs too many. But... npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1pvf…093g Most countries call themselves weird things, tho, don't they? Most Germans probably don't know what their country is really called; they probably think it's Deutschland or some such nonsense 😀 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1pvf…093g Including lyrics? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku I don't know how the word "zhuzh" should be spelt, but I do know that it shouldn't be spelt "zhuzh". npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1scf…h5dd The Netherlands doesn't allow dual citizenship, does it? I don't know about SA. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku My 5 year old daughter is reading a storybook. In it Kim Shee loves Chang and wants to marry him, but her cruel dad wants her to marry a rich man. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1ag5…dumn Never seen that show before. That's brilliant. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Question for any British person who hates the Tories - or, in other words, any British person - what do you think of the idea that in order to keep the next Labour government honest we need a reasonably strong opposition? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1y0k…dhyh Thank you. It's such a weird phrase. People are weird - especially misogynists, it seems. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku The worst thing about being a parent is that the weaknesses that enrage me the most in my kids are the ones that I secretly know they inherited from me. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Pizza is just bread, cheap cheese and the thinnest wafers of meat. It's crap food with great PR. There's no reason on earth why taking my kids to Pizza Hut should cost twice as much as taking them to McDonald's. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub16u8…zwrv Have they made a second season yet? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku My son loves AI-generated music. He has just said that the playlist for his upcoming birthday party is going to all be stuff he's generated using Udio. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1v00…4y88 And I liked it that way. I liked buying an album and listening to it on repeat until I could afford to buy another one. These days we give albums one listen and then move on. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku My 9 year old son just said incredulously, "People buy music?!" npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Am I the last man on earth to find out about Udio, the AI music generator? I know it's the end of civilisation and all of that, but it's also bloody amazing. I prompted it to give me a gangsta rap song about #Mastodon and here's what it gave me. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1q8e…a8sh you're right that it refuses to confirm to narrative expectations. I guess I've read it so many times that I'd forgotten that. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1ql3…a0kk I hope you still make it out here some time when you feel better. It's lovely. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku I'm in a restaurant in Tirana, Albania. Should I have the Trump Tower Cheeseburger? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku WHAT TRUMP'S CONVICTION MEANS FOR ELECTION npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1cnv…wml3 Yes, you could tell that the filmmaker felt really clever. I still enjoyed it tho npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku 3 Stages in the life of a Crocs owner: npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1arg…9jvm Phew. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku There are people walking around right now who do not have notifications turned off on their phones - for any app. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub10fe…gwc2 I love that too. I remember back in the day when British rappers used to claim that they weren't putting on fake American accents, that all rap naturally sounded American. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1pvf…093g Welcome to my past week 😃 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub10up…tqyu You'll never be bored again. Every day you'll receive 100 new emails to delete. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub19fc…ay3c Seeing how he treated Cassie they all got off quite lightly. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku There is absolutely no logical reason why me, a 50-something year old #hiphop head, should love this rap song by a group of Irish preteens as much as I do. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1mpw…4h3u It was amazing; movies can still say something AND be funny npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1ql3…a0kk I'm lucky - or maybe undiscerning - and I don't dislike anything. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub16u8…zwrv I'm not loving it either, tho everyone else seems to be. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Why are all the fastest sprinters Black? Do people of West African heritage have a genetic (unfair?) advantage? Does it have something to do with slavery? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku People talk a lot about how good Abbott Elementary is. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku When helping your child name their first pet, please take a moment to remember that, in 20 years, if it all goes wrong, that might have to be their porn star name. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Genuine question about #UKPolitics: npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub12p5…kgf8 My son is already addicted 😂 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Went geocaching with the kids for the first time yesterday. What a brilliant idea, a magical way to transform an ordinary walk into an adventure. Can't wait to do it again. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub14s3…hnzd Isn't it niece once removed? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku What if instead of newspapers that tell us what's new, we had importantpapers that tell us what's actually important. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1wq2…uyfa what's that? npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku There are two types of people: npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub13ar…frgl In the UK new drivers sometimes have green P stickers on their cars. But it's not mandatory so the ones most likely to be boy racers are most likely not to do it. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku Spotted a grey heron on my walk in to work this morning. Beautiful, majestic - and scary as fuck. I'm a townie, I don't know if it'll disembowel me with that razor-sharp beak. So I took this genteel, bucolic photo for the social media clout, and then I turned around and came to work the long way round. I was 15 minutes late. But alive. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1arg…9jvm Unfortunately I don't know what kind of bird. It was a drive-by shooting. 🙂 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku On my walk into work this morning, a bird did a massive big poo on me. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku The foundational belief of the right wing is this: npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub150u…0n2n That's right. You just know that if things kick off they'll jump right in with their unique blend of madness. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1v00…4y88 I think I need to speak with my doctor. I need much stronger meds. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1ryx…6nt2 True. I should add that to the list. The climate crisis is exacerbating tensions everywhere. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1n73…94el I was hoping someone would say that I'm overeacting and putting 2 and 2 together and getting 5. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku - Russia is at war with Ukraine npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1jeq…jglm How many episodes are there? I watched the trailer and got Westworld vibes, which put me off. Every review I've seen has been glowing tho npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub12se…mw80 I'm not sure I remember. I think it was either Efes or Alfa. I had a few of each npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1mef…8v63 Yes, that's a good one. I listened to a couple of episodes, but forgot to subscribe. I'll do that now. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub179s…3mca Thanks. It's a quick getaway with friends. If you can call a 5 hour flight a quick getaway. 😃 npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku I only know 2 things about the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus: npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1wc6…gnq3 I agree about the ending. It had the feel of an undergraduate student film project about it. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1uej…gedu I'm trying not to engage with them, hoping they'll get the message. Hasn't worked thus far. npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku The 3 types of people you talk to when your marriage is breaking down: npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z David Njoku @npub1239…ny78 I've never heard of Smashing Security, but I'm a fan of all the others. I'm about to go on a long flight; I'll download it and check it out. Thank you.
