BuddyTex

splish splash, your opinion is trash

Public Key

npub122e40nfqgfmpcxleclk639zazahkeszq2ltwqpwh5ql23hw9ztuq4pmxnv

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs99v6he5syyasur0uu0mdgj3w3wmmvcpq904hqqht6q04gmhz397qpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0wd68ytnsw43qhtld4k

Publishing to

relay.mostr.pub

Author Public Key

npub122e40nfqgfmpcxleclk639zazahkeszq2ltwqpwh5ql23hw9ztuq4pmxnv

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Last Notes

2024-08-12 20:47:02

@npub10pl…5jkt “i‘m the dentist it was me officer”
https://media.nicecrew.digital/926f6f68ed9192d39bdbffdd03ab18e3cfc68d4e19f91e61ccff09d221686073.jpeg

2024-08-09 00:57:26

lobbying the harris/walz ticket to come out against banning personal cars because it would damage the gas station dick pill market

2024-08-08 13:21:25

the year is 2024. all "AI assistants" are underpaid workers from sri lanka. all "chat with a real person" tools are large language models.

2024-08-06 01:21:19

↗️ promoted gab advertisement ↗️
a coarse toilet seat that exfoliates your butt. for the man on the go

2024-08-05 01:02:15

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you guys had me going with thinking sex was real until dan implied the british also have it
"oi govna stick yer wotsit up me twat" <- no one can be horny after hearing this

2024-08-03 21:41:27

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your wikipedia excerpt is mostly right except it fails to mention i also had a side hustle franchising arbys locations

2024-08-03 16:08:54

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https://media.nicecrew.digital/0ea51700bb1afa20102964d9308c933c9d931a5903914ee9f2f79badfac23f5a.jpeg

2024-08-03 16:08:06

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*slurping suspiciously*

2024-07-28 15:53:57

combining "i could fix her" and those Rubik's cube competitions where @npub13v6…hy07 shows up and is presented some inscrutable artsy anime fan girl with a band t-shirt and i start the timer on a stopwatch.

2024-07-28 15:46:16

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gonna wait til they release the Snyder cut before i re-listen to the Sermon

2024-07-28 15:09:36

[hipster guy who was at the sermon on the mount] yeah, you really had to see him live, it was much better live, the gospels don't really do it justice, none of those guys can really capture what it was like to be there, he actually asked me to be a disciple but I didnt really want to get involved in that whole scene, you know

2024-07-25 01:23:36

(@BostonFren_88 as a superhero. trying to explain why his outfit says 'SUCC TOES’ in huge letters) um actually this means 'hope' on my home planet

2024-07-25 01:02:28

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*journalist misses out on online purchase of advanced tickets to Deadpool & Wolverine*
“BREAKING: CASHLESS BAD”

2024-07-21 23:46:14

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pack the tomb.
with poasts.
like the cask of amontillado

2024-07-21 04:41:53

me: yeah lemme get uhhhh some ummmm executive function
my brain: our house. In the middle of our house. Our house. In the mi

2024-07-20 15:30:17

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DARKNESS IS SPREADING

2024-07-20 15:20:06

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quick how to pronounce “sin“ AP math teacher is laughing

2024-07-20 14:39:06

ya know if you put your foot right through the computer monitor, that will not patch the crowdstrike issue itself, but it will make a very satisfying sound.

2024-07-16 02:42:47

in order to uncover who was behind trump’s attempted assassination you have to understand who stood to gain the most from his death: airbrush t-shirt artists

2024-07-16 01:06:57

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nice argument. unfortunately, i’m with your mom right now. you should call her more often, but she busy right now so hold off a few hours

2024-07-16 00:58:01

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lol didn’t you larp some fake “I’m stuck in Canada during COVID” givesendgo campaign for shekels once? grift and glass houses and such

2024-07-15 13:34:39

*every phone conversation when boarding a plane*
“I’m sick and tired of being dicked around on these invoices, Pete. I told the guy, I said it’s gotta be 50 or we can’t do it and he comes back at 75. What am I supposed to do? The aluminum alone... yeah, no, that’s what I said to him.”

2024-07-15 01:27:52

*me before 100 followers* gosh, everyone one here is so funny and insightful boost boost boost boost!
*me as i approach 300 followers* my long-held resentment contorting every post i make into a confusing barb long-since divorced from anything anyone would find appealing: why do my followers, who i despise, not boost my posts? they gleefully boost any amount of dross from other users, many of whom i also follow, all of whom i also despise

2024-07-15 00:03:12

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ENOUGH’S ENOUGH! A radical member of ANTIFA who was running from the police ran into a hole in a tree, and when one of our Boys in Blue stuck his rifle into the tree, the barrel came out of another one and cartoonishly blew up his bottom

2024-07-14 17:27:19

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and he who can stick his gift into the debris receptacle shall be named “l’il dicky”

2024-07-14 00:23:47

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lol CNN headline: “trump falls onstage at rally; unclear what is happening”

2024-07-13 23:01:14

i don’t pay attention to who unfollows me. you’ll come around missing my bullshit eventually *loses 2 followers* COME BACK YOU COWARDS

2024-07-13 03:57:48

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i grab the toilet paper like a football, holding it aloft, calculating the distance, then launch it into a perfect spiral--the roll lands dead center into beefis’ shopping cart as he attempts to bypass the self checkout. the store supervisor‘s mouth is agape

2024-07-13 03:38:28

shoot for the moon. even if you miss, you’ll land 1000s of miles before the first known star and immediately combust well outside of the earth’s protecting atmosphere

2024-07-13 01:14:34

dimming the lights and creating an adult contemporary playlist on spotify for my enjoyment, and also to deal significant damage-per-click to zoomers in the area of effect.

2024-07-11 05:37:39

*trying to speak over baby crying* "--JUST SPITBALLIN' HERE, BUT MAYBE HE WANTS A GUN??"
#note1y73…utee

2024-07-11 05:36:08

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don’t try to church it up mapleheads, it’s ham

2024-07-11 05:31:00

babies: waaaah
my 7-ft tall wife: do you want food? do you need changing? are you tired?
me: do they want a ps5?

2024-07-09 04:11:01

*Tex hands the obnoxious MAGA milf account (and obviously a honeypot) a gun*
*she readies it and aims it at Tex*
Tex: you can't kill me. nobody can kill me. i’m too hot to die."
(silence followed by f*cking)
FBI Agent on the other end of the wire: "Damn. He IS too hot to die."

2024-07-09 03:31:57

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https://media.nicecrew.digital/ee1f575916a44721fd240d733412beff53be64fe6549cbccb4619ba1df32c2a8.jpeg

2024-07-09 03:26:59

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“were already lashed, we can’t get lashed any farther!”

2024-07-08 23:13:37

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*drives by an arbys*
“just went to full mast”

2024-07-07 15:44:03

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sometimes i wonder if those whole racket of selling letterman jackets to Al-Qaeda is even worth it

2024-07-07 15:42:34

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each morning I assess the losses and have to dig up a new batch of goons because he keeps defeating them easily. my zip recruiter commissions are out of hand

2024-07-07 15:40:22

one of the hardest calls i have to make as the ceo of the mob is when one of my top assassins kind of underperforms on a single job and now i have to cut them off & send 100 goons to try and kill them

2024-07-07 15:27:19

Haste makes waste? Ummm ok. Lots of things make waste why are you cherry p-
*my submersible implodes violently, turning my body into horrible goo*
https://media.nicecrew.digital/402a094349b5f74501324601d3263ce56b1c3fb52b6558074f1c8771a36c4faa.jpeg

2024-07-07 15:20:52

"If they don’t charge for image uploads, then how is gab supposed to make money?"
Frankly, that's not my problem to figure out. i’m not the one trying to work with a trash business model.

2024-07-07 12:41:34

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well…did it?

2024-07-06 17:34:52

wow i can't believe it's “dress up like a firefighter, and pose myself as if i’ve just walked in on you crying over your daddy issues, to tell you you’ve left the roast in and it's burning the place down but we have enough time to f*ck before everything explodes” saturday already!

2024-07-06 17:32:13

a ‘rad hominem’ is when i break your shit off while doing a killer grind
#note1hwd…d2jq

2024-07-06 17:29:09

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whataboutism is the same as ‘dibs’ or ‘i asked you first’ - the notion that being the first to say somethmhing absolves you from demonstrating merit

2024-07-06 15:35:44

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dont mind me agent gimli, i’m just over here respecting the One China policy

2024-07-06 15:31:43

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first reaction to this is “aww” and “gimli‘s definitely on the level”
followup reaction was “catahoula leopard dog” would be a pretty specific google search for me to make at 9:30EST after prompt by the former nsa agent
NICE TRY HATERS!!

2024-07-06 15:26:32

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she’s been cycling TGH (turkey growth hormone) to get ready for the upcoming fall season and her wattle is positively engorged

2024-07-06 15:18:59

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absolutely crushing the spine of that book

2024-07-06 15:16:46

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sitting down next to them and reciting spark notes in the theranos lady voice until they close the book and scurry away

2024-07-06 15:10:11

if you see someone reading in public and theyve just started the book it’s your duty to call them a poser

2024-07-06 15:06:10

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when i met my 7-ft tall wife, i think what i was looking for in a partner was the same temperament as the sort of cat that will begrudgingly allow itself to be dressed up in a bonnet by a child and sit grumpily in a pram for up to 5 minutes so it can “be the baby”

2024-07-06 15:04:20

biden: he's just trying to get to his home planet. it wasn’t about getting even, it’s about getting right
trump: i would have killed ET with a hammer. on day one. and i would have been absolutely justified in doing so
media, next day: “democrats panic after biden’s weak debate performance”

2024-07-06 14:56:33

just completed the first, independent consumer review of the Gab Marketplace. here's what customers are saying:
'my bones are turning into liquid. prompt delivery 5/5'
'the screams of the damned echo wherever i go. i want to answer them but every time i try to speak only a single, colorless moth crawls out of my mouth and flies away. five stars'
'customer support was very friendly, quick answer, spoke to me in a dead, inhuman tongue i realized i could understand, had always understood, and was the only language i had ever understood'

2024-07-04 23:53:42

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hellthread #1,718: listen bud, you just brought a whole lot of piss to this pissing competition.
...that's good. looks like you read the rules. looks like an excellent competition this year. lots of piss.

2024-07-04 16:47:24

called a customer service line and they repeatedly kept encouraging me to instead complete the same process online citing it as “much faster” which for the uninitiated is simply not true

2024-07-04 16:43:37

explaining to the guy who is struggling to afford his groceries "actually the chart says the Biden economy is good"

2024-07-04 14:26:18

rolling up to the blocked off cross street of the local parade in my elon cybertruck, turning up ‘Highway to the Danger Zone’ and pushing the “parade zone manslaughter” button
#note1wkc…2r4f

2024-07-04 14:23:11

my alt standing outside nicecrew.digital like a single barbarian unit in the first few turns of a Civilization game
#note18e3…4y3e

2024-07-04 13:55:07

i think it's funny the narrative which has developed over the past week: Biden's coven of unaccountable ghouls versus the formerly captured press, his voters, and as a distant third the guy he is ostensibly running against for president. this is what we refer to as a winning strategy.

2024-07-03 23:32:32

boomer: ok so the reason i had to call the cops to ruin your 4th of july celebration is because i am like spider-man and when people shoot fireworks it makes my spider-sense (asthma) go off.

2024-07-02 03:14:43

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https://media.nicecrew.digital/bf77f36b7b64f88035bdfa9143978dac3090f0827cfd6870ef91f22a445662c8.jpeg

2024-07-02 00:48:40

it seemed unrealistic to contemplate the idea of ghosts that spend their whole existence in a decrepit, broken-down house, and the moment strangers walk in the ghosts act like howling weirdos to convince those people to leave.
... and then i started using @npub13v6…hy07 ’s little site called nicecrew dot digital

2024-07-02 00:43:25

one cool thing about NCD is when no one engages with your posts you know it's not because of an algorithm it's because your posts are really bad.

2024-06-29 16:20:27

i present to you that nick fuentes is the kind of “influencer” a society creates just prior to placing all its citizens in tubes and harvesting them like the Matrix

2024-06-23 17:03:55

alexa (max volume): BUDDY TEX JUST POSTED: IM GONNA MINT AN NFT OF THE MONOLITH AND THEN FU-K THE NFT MONOLITH
@npub1zg4…zp5g : thank you alexa

2024-06-23 15:04:40

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you call that a corpse?

2024-06-23 15:03:51

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is this some like deep bush aussie experience you two are describing where everyone has a deep freezer for provisions from a store you all walk 6-8km to?

2024-06-23 03:08:55

https://media.nicecrew.digital/4a10b393b6e52deb02c9e5035ab191aea454fae6c2ba12d4537024ae8895eeb3.jpeg

2024-06-22 03:20:07

NCD users trying to be smooth: did it hurt? carrying that big ol' ass over here by yourself

2024-06-20 02:21:24

my mom engaged in cancel culture when she wouldn't allow me to have a Mötley Crüe cassette titled "Shout At The Devil". ummm, ever heard of the first amendment, mom???

2024-06-19 01:32:49

if you ever get pulled over for speeding, i do NOT recommend saying, "uh, officer, ever hear of the AUMF??? i do not have a bazooka in my trunk btw"
don't say any of that

2024-06-19 01:30:17

why is my emoji so tiny :tex: not that i care (i care deeply)

2024-06-19 01:25:32

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no no he’s right. you suck down boxes of wine vomiting forth an unending chain of skulls like every single lonely spinster does. the cat is a dead giveaway

2024-06-18 01:54:52

One thing society needs to bring back is bunk beds coupled with stucco ceilings
make your child prove they dont deserve to go to the emergency room

2024-06-16 01:55:53

7-ft tall wife just bought some pineapple hard seltzers. gonna play that p*ssy like a kazoo tonight

2024-06-16 01:51:48

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*getting fanned by palm leaves held by two oiled up milves but they keep dropping the leaves on my face because there's just so much oil everywhere*

2024-06-16 01:38:36

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The Embryo Strikes Back

2024-06-16 01:36:06

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my friend: are you on social media?
me, thinking about all my NCD posts: No

2024-06-15 23:48:07

most zoomers on NCD would conclude my nokia ringtone “goes hard”

2024-06-15 03:55:22

i descend into my cellar where my mutuals are busily digging around in the mud. i nod as they uncover a nearly-human, ugly creature and pull it free of its slimy cyst. another disappointing follower born

2024-06-15 03:47:23

sycophants will note that i once attempted a spectacularly failed disagreement campaign with @npub18n3…fga4 about the technology’s potential, but just know that the entire NFT ecosystem’s enforcement model for ownership was "a bunch of people whose opinion you couldn't hold in lower esteem will be upset with you in a discord somewhere."

2024-06-15 03:44:30

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we all die @npub1y84…9axg but not every man truly lives

2024-06-14 03:46:10

i am not a cannibal. When i go to work as a 'sales associate' at CVS i do not salivate while watching the customers' bodies turn wavy and morph into mirages of a bucket of popeye's or thanksgiving dinner. i never take out a knife and fork and put on a bib to go chasing them through the aisles. dont even pretend

2024-06-14 02:35:48

hey, was meaning to tell you, i spoke to your Steam friend that you met in public matchmaking and used to game with years ago, but hasn't logged on to Steam in 1,729 days.
they wanted me to tell you "everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts." whatever that means. some kinda inside gamer joke or something? y'all nerds.

2024-06-14 02:25:53

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she alaska on my airlines til my door blowout

2024-06-13 21:54:14

i sleep with my phone under the pillow, it's kind of like sleeping with a knife under the pillow but my kill range is much longer
#note15s9…mhyw

2024-06-13 21:53:05

andrew torba seeing a spreadsheet where gab saved $0.00003 by passing an inconvenience onto the users and just obliterating his jeans with shit, piss, and cum.

2024-06-13 03:17:28

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a real fit bird

2024-06-12 17:33:05

*meeting the fedex guy to sign for the sexbot i ordered*
"uh, i work for MIT"

2024-06-10 16:47:15

ded 🤣🤣
#note14me…a5rp

2024-06-10 14:25:23

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*subject of Trevor’s condescension gets justifiably offended*
Trevor: listen sweetie, don’t be a bitch

2024-06-10 14:23:12

it has long been rumored that microdosing LSD is the secret behind the success of billionaires like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos. after Bezos successfully launched himself into space without blowing up @npub14jj…2ttn and i decided to try microdosing first hand to see if it gave us a creative edge in our own professions but it turns out 1/4 cup is actually quite a lot

2024-06-10 14:18:25

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“it’s a hybrid strain fusion between the widow maker and ice cream sundae that’s lightly duster with resin and truffle shavings. this gummy is a perfectly-balanced 2.5mg micro dose that’s completely elegant, bafflingly beautiful, and is capable of reducing the population of any fig newton sleeve to zero. I call it "The Ex-Wife."

2024-06-10 14:12:21

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“the sharper the sting, the sweeter the juice amirite?”

2024-06-10 01:13:05

dr phil: he's just trying to get to his home planet. it's not about getting even, it's about getting right
trump: i would have killed ET with a hammer. on day one. and i would have been absolutely justified in doing so

2024-06-09 17:14:25

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https://media.nicecrew.digital/9dec95b3aa886974d26e329614a3931bb597aebbbffe1cb33a163f8e32f3285c.gif

2024-06-09 16:55:41

it’s a bit gauche to comment on a NCD gal’s selfie like, "That’s Motorboat City right there"
try a subtler touch. something like, "did it hurt? carrying that big ol' ass over here by yourself?”

2024-06-09 16:52:44

me and @npub14jj…2ttn in the group chat showing off moderated addictions like the american psycho business card scene