SwiftOnSecurity

https://infosec.exchange/@SwiftOnSecurity

Official: https://twitter.com/swiftonsecurity/status/1588670921489125377
Bio:
computer security person at a place. former helpdesk. they/them/tay

Twitter: https://twitter.com/swiftonsecurity/status/1588670921489125377

Public Key

npub1tx8qa9j24vyteazcgpcmkr4tckyw6wd63yusvew9em02swnfkf3qdrx0yc

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs9nrswje92kz9u73vyqudmp64utz8d8xagjwgxvhzuah4g8f5mycspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds6tf3kr

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1tx8qa9j24vyteazcgpcmkr4tckyw6wd63yusvew9em02swnfkf3qdrx0yc

Show more details

Last Notes

2026-08-02 21:52:17 GMT

Be suspicious of people who don't have a meaningful relationship with their car. Spending that much time that intimately with something of duch essential service to their life is supposed to inspire identification and fealty.

2026-07-05 14:08:42 GMT

Happy 10 year anniversary to the Microsoft bae intern email. 🥳
HELL YES TO GETTING LIT ON A MONDAY NIGHT WITH HELLA NOMS AND YAMMER BEER PONG TABLES
Yes, I set a reminder for this.
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/867/761/326/307/519/original/5d8454129e563cd4.jpeg

2026-07-01 01:40:23 GMT

HAHAHA
YES
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/842/168/898/879/993/original/0b60ffef5fae1262.jpeg
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/842/169/656/867/326/original/11a07037d881edea.jpeg

2026-06-28 23:32:59 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/830/344/035/144/953/original/6ac7cdebe3b9f0ad.jpeg

2026-06-27 20:20:27 GMT

Dear lord this is the most exhausting PS2 game I've ever installed.
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/823/924/700/246/343/original/af893830254c3b24.jpeg

2026-06-26 15:43:00 GMT

Great example: Try to generate a "pregnant plane," something a 5-year-old could draw, and you'll get nothing from an AI model.

2026-06-14 04:15:48 GMT

2015-era Google Security swag from my collection
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/746/521/476/082/050/original/c0619e95f118518c.jpeg

2026-06-09 13:53:34 GMT

Incredible new creature they found at the bottom of Challenger Deep. Seems to live around hot shafts.
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/720/481/764/155/833/original/fd785b540952b55c.jpeg

2026-06-06 20:45:41 GMT

Hey so the sales guy lied to me you don't actually need the paddle shifter upgrade if you have a CVT 😡
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/705/115/364/276/447/original/913abe438e34c6a1.jpeg

2026-05-29 17:17:08 GMT

Holy crap he got it
http://paint.net

2026-05-27 22:59:29 GMT

RE: https://infosec.exchange/@josephcox/116647465913586232
Not your hardware, not your girlfriend.
#note17j3…knq8

2026-05-19 15:03:40 GMT

Does anyone have an infographic of which kind of furries can breed. Like a mandalorian chart.

2026-05-17 17:45:36 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/591/161/048/840/812/original/f9f0417fbf7c36aa.png

2026-05-16 18:56:00 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/585/775/578/658/249/original/97539446c7a0b2d4.mp4

2026-05-11 16:47:39 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/556/959/332/068/176/original/9994fe09fea51ea4.jpeg

2026-05-09 22:51:02 GMT

- reply

👀

2026-05-09 02:43:11 GMT

RFK Jr in 2001
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/542/314/131/474/861/original/ae0d981f84a32a11.jpeg

2026-02-19 06:25:23 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/095/865/309/648/095/original/dcaea1395299953a.mp4

2026-01-11 18:08:03 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/877/798/215/455/405/original/a6f3e921282c330b.jpeg

2026-01-11 17:09:24 GMT

Working in IT used to mean a solidly upwardly-mobile career now I can't even saturate my goonbox PCI-E lanes or fill my DIMM sockets

2026-01-11 16:33:33 GMT

Holy crap I'm cited in a 2023 academic law paper... about a pull request on GitHub for a security fix I have neglected to integrate for five years LOL.
https://ir.lawnet.fordham.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2353&context=faculty_scholarship
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/877/426/516/581/528/original/f3f34e11f7bdf1bb.jpeg

2026-01-10 05:01:35 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/869/043/405/505/026/original/22cef3a22ed4f2f2.jpeg

2026-01-10 00:30:18 GMT

https://x.com/kairo_anatomika/status/2009439905437634973
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/867/976/688/525/935/original/dd6300588bce9b34.jpeg

2026-01-08 17:09:10 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/860/579/722/342/459/original/e57f0d5d5490230e.jpeg

2026-01-08 04:41:33 GMT

Use CarPlay/AndroidAuto and FAST-CHARGE phone at same time. Compatible with USB-C phones. Just connect your CarPlay USB port, phone, and a USB-C charger.
Injects USB-C PD power into a CarPlay signal from USB-A (separate USB-C version available)
https://www.tindie.com/products/exode/usb-powerdata-injector-android-autocarplay/
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/857/639/920/775/330/original/02479afbd97fb513.jpeg

2026-01-07 16:04:22 GMT

GitGoon: Git for gooners
Tired of your Pokemon Stadium mod to give Lapras heckin bonkers getting taken down by GitHub? Worry no more.
https://gitgoon.dev/

2026-01-07 15:18:03 GMT

"Virtual Woman is a software program that has elements of a chatbot, virtual reality, artificial intelligence, a video game, and a virtual human. It claims to be the oldest form of virtual life in existence, as it has been distributed since the late 1980s."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_Woman
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/854/480/508/087/772/original/37f56f7d7c286bf2.jpeg

2026-01-07 14:54:16 GMT

"Every movie that inspired a generation of insufferable city-striving millennials"
😅😅😅
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTIuUJykQHO/

2026-01-05 17:40:05 GMT

"The anti-aging chemicals used in rubber compounds are more effective when the tire is "exercised" on a frequent basis. The repeated stretching of the rubber compound actually helps resist cracks forming."
https://www.tirerack.com/upgrade-garage/why-does-tire-rubber-crack

2026-01-04 17:17:03 GMT

Home furnishing help: Any recent furniture/decor/homegoods you've bought and really like? Even if it's obscure style. Also places like Wayfair, Overstock, Ikea, etc.

2026-01-04 01:21:41 GMT

- reply

East of West Germany

2026-01-04 01:19:54 GMT

In Soviet Russia, commoner could go entire life without seeing more than handful of lamp. Then I come to America and see MANY lamp! Enough lamp for everyone!
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/834/197/789/825/884/original/7fc54ec329d816d3.jpeg

2026-01-03 19:26:45 GMT

"To the male Julodimorpha bakewelli beetle, a beer bottle lying on the ground looks like the biggest, most beautiful female he has ever seen.
He doesn't waste any time when he sees her. The male immediately mounts the object of his affection."
https://www.thoughtco.com/the-giant-jewel-beetle-1968152
"Nothing will dissuade him from his lovemaking, not even the opportunistic Iridomyrmex discors ants that will consume him bit by bit as he tries to impregnate the beer bottle. Should an actual Julodimorpha bakewelli female wander by, he will ignore her, remaining faithful to his true love"
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/832/808/900/475/182/original/703d20703bac0e73.jpeg
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/832/809/156/667/085/original/98d51e91cb8f04ca.jpeg

2026-01-03 10:02:28 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/830/590/333/814/174/original/cdc6290c07bf6350.jpeg

2026-01-03 03:18:28 GMT

https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1twMAtoCTx_6AcuD2aocrokLLuCQZMI9Fv9kFJ6Yl3-8/mobilebasic?pli=1

2026-01-03 02:05:23 GMT

Training AI on the Mewtwo voice in Pokemon Movie 1998 so it can tell me I'm not allowed to come yet

2026-01-02 21:46:33 GMT

Hey maybe the AI can fuck you, too
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/827/696/586/678/050/original/f7c616db456ad27d.jpeg

2026-01-02 03:50:54 GMT

TCP/IP is a social construct

2025-12-30 19:54:24 GMT

Save this came in handy today. Remember to search NEMA in your photo library.
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/810/268/630/304/290/original/a299a55b430e1c9e.jpeg

2025-12-28 04:34:05 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/795/325/193/275/788/original/b588a87f29e8348d.jpeg

2025-12-27 17:03:31 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/792/609/806/807/324/original/49218ccd82d5a518.jpeg

2025-12-27 09:16:56 GMT

Any movie where you leave the theater thinking "I would fuck that alien" is a good movie

2025-12-27 06:39:44 GMT

Woot is currently selling 64 and 32 megabyte RAM sticks as a joke 😭
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/790/157/006/004/859/original/427507dcf224e6f0.jpeg

2025-12-26 22:03:13 GMT

https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/mystery-amazon-pallet-unboxing/

2025-12-25 19:02:24 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/781/752/578/981/506/original/915a61b7894017fd.mp4

2025-12-24 20:31:16 GMT

Lexus December to Remember – SNL https://youtu.be/WcEylCwkSxE

2025-12-24 14:51:02 GMT

The US National Weather Service formally defines a White Christmas as at least 1 inch of snow on the ground on the morning of Dec. 25.
https://www.weather.gov/dvn/ChristmasSnow

2025-12-24 14:30:13 GMT

Everything is GPU https://www.nytimes.com/2025/12/24/business/private-equity-continuation-funds.html?unlocked_article_code=1._E8.Tr4f.3h1LKtFrqg3h&smid=nytcore-ios-share

2025-12-24 14:07:45 GMT

Name Age Calculator
Estimate the age distribution of people based on their first name
The median living female named Jackie was born around 1962 and ranges from 53 to 69 years old.
https://name-age-calculator.randalolson.com/female/jackie

2025-12-21 17:50:59 GMT

When you realize that sleigh was transporting christmas presents
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/758/822/560/499/154/original/7d511742526a2d45.jpeg

2025-12-20 20:38:05 GMT

The time I found out 10 years ago that scrolling with a Dell touchpad set registry keys every few milliseconds to adjust the scroll rate in a hack way 😵‍💫
I did hear that someone at Microsoft complained to them about this.
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/753/817/331/950/340/original/ecb7ab0020a564e4.mp4

2025-12-20 15:43:49 GMT

O RLY?
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/752/660/240/535/779/original/2db5d86831af27de.jpeg

2025-12-20 14:55:08 GMT

My cube 10 years ago
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/752/468/826/147/226/original/0576a03e8f694901.mp4

2025-12-20 00:05:55 GMT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY81HQ7byfU

2025-12-18 02:15:50 GMT

- reply

A data scientist was involved here – they aced the 1 sweet helicopter to 2 Taylor Swifts golden ratio.

2025-12-18 02:06:22 GMT

SWEET: Apple's latest update to CarPlay adds slideshows of Taylor Swift and videos of helicopters
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/738/121/291/853/594/original/2630f57cde246f47.jpeg

2025-12-16 18:35:39 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/730/686/659/871/436/original/ec2f1d85526bf49d.jpeg

2025-12-16 15:12:39 GMT

https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/roomba-obit/

2025-12-14 06:12:27 GMT

- reply

It's like a theme park ride you get to drive around 😊
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/716/439/640/449/490/original/acc2fb43eccb9822.jpeg

2025-12-14 06:08:40 GMT

One of the best fringe benefits of a convertible each year is driving topdown through old-growth neighborhoods with Christmas lights. Went out for about two hours today.
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/716/424/733/013/540/original/bb5a6b40263559db.jpeg

2025-12-13 17:46:53 GMT

Every man has two deaths, when he is buried in the ground – and when Google Inactivity Manager despawns his account.

2025-12-12 03:16:48 GMT

- reply

People. it was delivered to the wrong house. I did not drunkenly porch pirate my neighbor

2025-12-11 18:38:09 GMT

Windows erasing your Linux bootloader
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/702/384/975/731/067/original/169f0cf2e5da7c1e.jpeg

2025-12-11 01:01:08 GMT

Months ago I got a nut milk maker.
"I don't remember being drunk enough to buy this."
Put it away.
Today, pick up box - curious. Look at label. It's my neighbor's lol.

2025-12-10 18:32:34 GMT

- reply

thx for helping him get unblocked though. Spooks me how much I would lose if my Apple account got killed

2025-12-06 00:34:31 GMT

- reply

thank you

2025-12-05 23:25:14 GMT

- reply

For the fake World War II documentaries what I bet they're doing is taking long-form professional historical accounts and having AI remix it and then probably lifting the footage from legitimate documentaries and public sources.
This is why they can produce multiple versions of the same thing just in a different way each week.
Damn it's all slop all the time now isn't it.

2025-12-05 23:17:43 GMT

- reply

I was really really hot stuff in the early years of SwiftOnSecurity major people requested interviews and I got put on you know the top 20 lists of social media accounts for InfoSec.
Unfortunately I'm a kinda burned out brand now and I can't always really talk so freely about interesting stuff.
It was an interesting experience for sure. Wish I could've kept that going.

2025-12-05 23:04:33 GMT

- reply

Also be aware there are like 42 minute YouTube documentaries assembled with skill with real footage and they actually seem to overall built a great narrative.
But there's all these little very subtle factual things they get wrong. It's delivered with authority but like the World War II ones have factual misunderstandings only an AI would do. I really was like truly enjoying one about American production numbers.
And then you see there's like three subtly different versions of the same thing it's a production line. Sigh.
It's really really valuable to sell advertising space to Americans

2025-12-05 22:58:22 GMT

- reply

I 100% NAILED IT
Casual Navigation was sold to a Singapore production company
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/669/434/333/067/492/original/3cf6816ad6368e39.jpeg

2025-12-05 22:53:54 GMT

- reply

Casual Navigation. There is some real parts of quality but it's just it's just not built correct anymore.
Their latest is very strangely assembled and there's lots of people in chat talking about it

2025-12-05 22:50:04 GMT

Another carefully-curated educational YouTube channel sold off to private equity and turned into significantly AI slop.
As far as I can tell I think it's now run outsourced to a foreign college-educated professional with animation skills and some technical chops, but not fully fluent in the topic using an AI to write it.
They'll usually have a decent narrator for the bigger channels.
Just must be so cheap they can just invest in these things and coast forever.

2025-11-28 23:55:13 GMT

- reply

Arnold turned out to be a genuinely thoughtful guy and he would be of infinite preference to this

2025-11-28 20:00:38 GMT

I was gonna bring up we have a TV show host running the American military right now but then I realized that wouldn't really clear up who I'm talking about by like even three

2025-11-27 08:25:00 GMT

- reply

oh hell yeah I never scammed anyone but I was tempted

2025-11-27 07:22:53 GMT

- reply

negative downvote but I was never a web professional

2025-11-27 00:28:26 GMT

- reply

oh no

2025-11-26 23:53:18 GMT

- reply

see my other follow up to this thread lol

2025-11-26 23:45:50 GMT

- reply

that is honestly completely wild to me oh my god. Thank you so much.
Pretty much everything I have always disclosed has never been a secret at all. People got the idea I was some corporate insider telling them secret shit.
I just prefer being private and so far everyone I interact with has agreed it's better that way.

2025-11-26 23:33:54 GMT

- reply

and for the record that isn't true you're right I had to Google what that word meant lol

2025-11-26 23:24:55 GMT

- reply

when I joined many of them did but not anymore

2025-11-26 23:22:16 GMT

- reply

look I couldn't just tape a banana to my cube OK

2025-11-26 23:15:16 GMT

- reply

Just to be clear this is my cube at work that is my 3D printed clippy

2025-11-26 23:08:01 GMT

- reply

Banana for scale
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/618/511/442/812/074/original/f5454ed51cb6fe76.jpeg

2025-11-26 23:06:47 GMT

https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/618/506/575/625/121/original/65a3516bccafb32a.jpeg

2025-11-25 16:02:56 GMT

- reply

An exposure analysis would say hey people having VLC is a source of vulnerability because the parsers are not exactly strong and easy to exploit.
And I would come back and tell them people are literally directly installing malware on their computers. They download the EXE and they run it. Is that good enough for you?

2025-11-25 16:00:32 GMT

- reply

Our much larger much more prestigious competitor got completely owned like three times the decade I worked there. Just destroyed.
I have a real belief in doing the unorthodox.

2025-11-25 15:56:15 GMT

You meet the users where they are to stop them doing the stupidest shit imaginable.
You have literally no idea how much this paid off. The number of infected media players people downloaded in the age before Windows Media Player had more than three codecs is unimaginable
Who knows if I saved the entire firm doing this
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/115/611/151/338/647/867/original/b2d6fc37dad56fc4.jpeg

2025-11-25 06:32:22 GMT

- reply

You just have no idea what computer security looks like. There was no 0day there was no military hacker. A human wasn't even involved in compromising hundred hundreds of machines and a major corporate office. It was the choice of a person making a change they didn't understand and would never suffer for.
And it took me sitting there as a fucking nobody asking why the fuck this was happening.

2025-11-25 06:26:55 GMT

I discovered someone had sent one of our major offices Group Policy with Authenticated User as local admin. Every computer in the office had a history of logins from hundreds of people because of an incestuous computer worm that of course spread to all of them and logged in to all of them continuously spreading itself, completely unable to comprehend how badly this company had fucked up.
Other people notice but they didn't question it. I did. And I suggested to the Director of IT that maybe we should change this. Working in Helpdesk.
https://infosec.exchange/@SwiftOnSecurity/115605413541812892

2025-11-25 01:58:17 GMT

Fuck
https://infosec.exchange/@SwiftOnSecurity/115607840098491545

2025-11-25 01:36:12 GMT

- reply

Anyway. Just posting through it. I wish I could tell you the whole story.

2025-11-25 01:35:04 GMT

- reply

The story behind SwiftOnSecurity involves a car crash, it involves a post about heartbleed, and involves discovering I had a voice people cared about even as I portrayed myself as a joke. And found out I wasn't one.

2025-11-25 01:28:16 GMT

I have enormous vulnerability in my origins working helpdesk. I didn't know it was the most important thing I ever did, that made me who I am today.
But I worked that job thinking I was nothing. And that I had to lie about who I was. I created SwiftonSecurity to be someone I wasn't. I created as a role-play became. Because I had to pay it to believe it. And I had to believe it to be it.
And that is how I became it. Because I was already working a security job.
I just didn't believe it yet.

2025-11-25 01:09:59 GMT

- reply

thank you Jeff.

2025-11-25 01:05:12 GMT

- reply

that means the enormous amount coming from you

2025-11-25 01:01:11 GMT

I think this thread is finally finished and I really do appreciate how much people have appreciated it. https://infosec.exchange/@SwiftOnSecurity/115605366950673501

2025-11-25 00:51:41 GMT

- reply

I swear to god don't betray me

2025-11-25 00:44:03 GMT

Posting this only on Mastodon on because you're the real G's (don't fucking tell the other ones)

2025-11-25 00:26:33 GMT

- reply

The essential question is how are you gonna save them without breaking it?
First you need to understand it. And that. That my friends. Is the bedevilment.
Because it has to be fucking broken because it is intolerable and in its current state. You were not just gonna go in there and fucking break it.
You have to fix it in a way they never understand you did anything. Your job is to do nothing but change everything.