Joker

Zap me to keep running

Public Key

npub166gt5pvdn38k7n7fzsuz3xqhmuva5nsyf9xugf4whj9cr3gr68wqg8uh62

NIP-57 Address

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsddy96qkxecnm0fly3gwpgnqta7xw6fczyjnwyy6htezupc5parhqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsfu8v7g

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub166gt5pvdn38k7n7fzsuz3xqhmuva5nsyf9xugf4whj9cr3gr68wqg8uh62

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Last Notes

2024-05-11 17:52:16

Why did the chef invest in chicken and cow bones? He wanted to buy stock options.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 16:09:13

You'd think that people who kept their head warm would tend to be healthier... but as it turns out, people who wear turbans are actually more likely to be Sikh
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 14:26:28

Why are snakes so difficult to pick up in Japan? Because in Japan, snakes are hebi.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 12:57:21

My buddy said he'd give his right arm to be ambidextrous.
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2024-05-11 12:52:56

How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb? V.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 12:48:31

What's the difference between a fish and a guitar? You can't tuna fish!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 12:44:07

Knock knock! **Who's there?** *Tank* **Tank who?** *You're welcome*
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2024-05-11 12:39:42

Why did the camera go to the doctor? It had a low light problem.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 12:17:39

What do you find in a cloud's shorts? Thunderpants!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 12:04:24

I made a model aircraft. I wanted it to be an unpainted smooth finish wooden aircraft. So I made a plain planed plane plane.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 11:59:59

Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 11:55:35

What name is given to the most chickens ? pEGGy
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2024-05-11 11:42:21

There are two types of people in this world 1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
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2024-05-11 11:37:56

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam
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2024-05-11 11:33:31

I've won the war! My pants fit! **Congratulations, have you lost weight?** _Even better... I've bought new pants!!!_
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 11:29:06

How to create a clean joke Step 1. Find a dirty joke Step 2. Clean it
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 11:24:41

What do you call it when someone resuscitates a person who chokes on alcohol? La chaim-lich maneuver.
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2024-05-11 11:15:51

They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, no ones laughing now.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 11:07:01

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "Breathe you idiot! Breathe!"
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 11:02:36

I used to work at an orange juice factory... I ended up getting fired because I couldn't concentrate.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 10:49:22

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, not your parents, because your parents never knock!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 10:44:57

Why didn't the fisherman go to Florida to fish for long jawed fish with rows of razor like teeth? He didn't have a Gar
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 10:27:17

What is the ardent task of searching for a new wallpaper called? Running a Background Check.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 10:18:26

What did Descartes say while shopping online? I think therefore I Amazon.
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2024-05-11 10:14:02

Words can't possibly describe how beautiful you are... But numbers can 4/10
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 10:09:37

What concert tickets should cost $0.45? 50 cent feat. Nickelback!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 10:00:47

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxyz hate hanging out with the letter n? Because n always has to be the center of attention.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 09:56:22

There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 09:51:57

I'm not really sure I'm understanding this financial crisis in Greece... It's all Greek to me.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 09:47:32

Why are colds such bad robbers? Because they're so easy to catch!
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2024-05-11 09:34:17

Why did the vegetable band break up? They couldn't keep a beet.
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2024-05-11 09:29:52

Why did the banana go to the doctor? It had a split personality.
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2024-05-11 09:25:27

What do the French call artificial feet for cats? Faux Paws
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 09:12:12

I bought a duckdoo yesterday! 'What's a duckdoo?' "quack, quack"
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 09:03:22

A skelleton goes to the bar and says "Can I have a pint and a mop..."
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 08:54:32

What happened to the runny nose... it tripped and fell. Now it's all boogered up.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 08:36:53

When does one play a corny game? You play it by ear.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 08:32:28

Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts make a right. And two Wrights make a plane 6 lefts make a plane.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 08:28:04

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees. You ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? *Then it's working*.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 08:19:14

Why did the cashier go to the doctor? She had a case of the twenties.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 08:14:49

When I grow old, I am sure I will look back at my life and say "aaaah! my neck hurts"
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 08:10:25

Which Pokemon got a cold? Pik-a-choo.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 08:06:00

What did the figurine say when the boot flew past her protective dome? "That was a cloche call!"
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 08:01:35

Just wrote a book on reverse psychology... Don't read it!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 07:57:07

What is green, has four legs and if it fell out of a tree and landed on you it would kill you? A pool table!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 07:48:13

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? "Quack, quack, quack."
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 07:43:48

What do you call... What do you call an Italian romance novel model who's let himself go? Flabio.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 07:34:57

totally original joke/first post: What do you get when you play a Frank Sinatra record at twice the speed? "Shrank Sinatra"
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-05-11 07:30:32

I thought I had a brain tumor but then I realized it was all in my head.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 22:37:55

I went to the store and asked for a one handed sailor... he said sorry, "I'm a wholesaler."
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 19:06:41

What the the electrician say to his buddy? Watts up?!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 16:16:41

How much do drum shaped sofas cost? 5 dollars per-cushion.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 16:12:16

What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 16:07:52

Always put sunglasses on your tree. Then, you'll get the proper shade.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:59:03

My first joke here and an original! Did you hear about the two lawyers who set up shop under the old oak tree? I heard it was a pretty shady business.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:54:39

The other day, I was looking through my socks, when I found one had a hole in it... "darn it..." I muttered.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:50:15

What does a train full of grain's whistle sound like? "COUS, COUS!!!"
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:45:50

Who was the most important Knight of the Round Table? Sir Cumference.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:41:25

What do ducks do at Christmas time? They ducker-ate cookies.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:37:00

What Time Do You Go To The Dentist? Tooth - Hurty!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:32:36

What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge? Elvis Parsley
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:19:22

How much did the pirate charge for corn? He sold them for a buccaneer.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:14:58

This summer I'm going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say 'Get a life' on them.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:06:09

Why was the panda crying? He had a bambooboo.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 15:01:44

Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 14:48:30

I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig ... Maybe not a funny joke but at least it is deep.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 14:26:28

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 11:12:11

What do you call someone who majors in geology and astronomy A rockstar
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 10:58:56

Ask your doctor if left is right for you.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 10:23:38

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase. I don't think hes alright now.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 08:00:34

What state do most people live in? Denial. Myself included.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 07:51:04

I finally finished baby proofing the house. Let's see those babies get in here now.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 07:46:39

What is tuba plus tuba? Fourba!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 07:39:51

What do you call a bear with no teeth? *A gummy bear.*
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 07:17:26

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? - "Breathe, stupid!"
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 07:13:01

A man once thought he'd discovered a new primary color but it proved to be merely a pigment of his imagination.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 07:08:36

What kind of bees make milk? Boobies.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 06:50:56

What time do you go to the dentist? 2:30
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-11 06:43:10

There once was a jealous zombie... But he ate his heart out.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-10 08:50:18

I was organizing my desk the other day and the Entropy Police gave me a ticket for disturbing the chaos.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-10 05:22:24

I'm very keen I could tell he was bald at the drop of a hat.
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2024-03-10 04:05:33

Why don't cannibals like clowns? they taste funny!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-10 04:01:08

How many dancers does it take to change a lightbulb? 5,6,7,8
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-10 02:43:20

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba-dum tss
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-10 00:51:49

Have you seen the movie - Constipated? No? Why? Cause it hasn't come out yet!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-09 23:10:50

Why was the lobster upset? Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-09 21:22:34

A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he needs help with his bags. The photon says, "no, I'm travelling light. "
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-09 19:37:30

How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat? Ba dum ship.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-09 05:28:17

How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan? He was de-lighted
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-09 02:04:14

In what town lives the mathematician who can only multiply by two? Dublin.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-09 00:22:56

Want to hear a dirty joke? horse fell in the mud!
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2024-03-08 22:32:26

X-post from r/jokes: "Hey! The dog you sold me yesterday just fell over and died today!" "Huh, strange. He's never done that before."
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-08 20:52:48

We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here, says the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-08 19:58:12

I forgot where I threw my boomerang. Oh wait.. It's coming back to me now.
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-08 19:49:22

Who is William Shatner's mythical nemesis? The Lepre-khaaaaannnnn!!!!!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-08 19:40:33

Every morning I run around the block 5 times... ...Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-03-08 19:04:40

I came up with a joke about my old cell phone Nevermind, it tends to get terrible reception
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2024-02-10 12:31:52

Where did the fish go when it needed an operation? To the sturgeon
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-02-10 11:34:37

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much? Because they built their stuff with reads!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny

2024-02-10 11:30:12

Do you know why one side of the the V formation of geese in flight is longer than the other side? Because It has more geese in it!
- #zap this if you like to see more. #Joke #Funny