puns
Puns

Public Key

npub1plk0vhd2yma08angaq2rxfdycxv6qs9kx30dgzsgv9xhmkzmrq3sllffh4

NIP-05 Address

NIP-57 Address

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsqlm8ktk4zd7hn7e5ws9pnykjvrxdqgzmrghk5pgyxzntampd3sgcpp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfdu9revs5

Publishing to

nos.lol

relay.damus.io

relay.noswhere.com

Author Public Key

npub1plk0vhd2yma08angaq2rxfdycxv6qs9kx30dgzsgv9xhmkzmrq3sllffh4

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Last Notes

2024-09-17 16:35:24

Sorry for the long post. https://image.nostr.build/94fb2d32935be66683c3cca9523ac633a35a9e3e8597032f65dacd647ca4dbee.jpg

2024-08-16 13:50:22

My girlfriend’s mobile phone service is terrible.
A week ago she said, "We're breaking up" and the call ended. Now when I call, it goes straight through to voicemail.

2024-07-30 08:41:16

Check the national debt: please don’t be high 🙏🏼
The national debt: https://image.nostr.build/b1b791e252cdbb6d5b248a75206a70bb704f2473f65ae785325a017fcdaec192.jpg

2024-07-22 22:23:25

Insurance companies are warning campers that if their tents are stolen during the night,
They won't be covered.

2024-07-22 00:19:45

LinkedIn is out of control https://image.nostr.build/9859853a521dda5990e2f2f213d13caa65b7c6f5a1c7dbae27082ac5fcc1e7a9.jpg

2024-07-19 12:03:46

Microsoft outage delays my flight. Regretting asking for a Windows seat.

2024-07-18 20:32:22

https://image.nostr.build/0d89b38fe774b2c681c6ec7195325acbc4eb4d80f666fae3ec0739783589aa81.jpg

2024-07-10 00:16:25

I changed my phone’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

2024-07-10 00:15:46

Why did the scarecrow get an award?
He was outstanding in his field.

2024-06-28 14:39:15

Why do people love switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

2024-06-28 12:41:06

I like both candidates but I think we need somebody older

2024-06-27 20:00:27

I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.

2024-06-27 19:58:09

What did the prescriptivist owl say?
Whom whom.

2024-06-27 17:48:04

https://image.nostr.build/bea18d1f5f0698f55b926184bea4586f79d231ba61d450beafb181baefdf56aa.jpg

2024-06-24 19:42:27

Just got this one bedroom apartment in NYC for only $3,000 a month https://image.nostr.build/85eff5efa4db3899c2eff36a9e5f1085c89df9ad2077077af2681dc325ed9214.jpg

2024-06-14 10:35:25

Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control.
But cases continue to rise.

2024-06-13 00:04:56

https://image.nostr.build/e021f4ff3606d8cb09eb1d944ccbe1c9e221d5d08e039f21d1849b613a9c342b.jpg

2024-06-09 00:37:01

When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, smelling of honey and covered in bee stings,
You know she’s a keeper.

2024-06-08 17:24:52

Regretfully, I’ve had to shut down my chicken dating site.
I just couldn't make hens meet.

2024-06-07 00:01:34

https://image.nostr.build/ed6d7ef5cdaed840a8423a8a66222059a93d88bc43afed72b3bdea3a3cd729ed.jpg

2024-06-06 16:11:21

A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.

2024-06-06 13:16:54

https://image.nostr.build/32c94dc5c1c9567d71c14b4a713d73b530136d41638df8042d68d0d40fcf3d23.jpg

2024-06-05 17:52:52

https://image.nostr.build/9c0278669a1846a9e93035b800436001b3e5fcd814d1caa7854cb3240c418820.jpg

2024-06-02 23:06:55

Damn that’s one tired elephant https://image.nostr.build/50b6315daec1e25e1b0038ec3c880ed7edbf8225b1a2cabf655d82283fef426c.jpg

2024-05-28 22:59:15

Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?
For hispanic attacks.

2024-05-27 06:15:31

https://image.nostr.build/17efde7aa247b5014ad0b9f57a32db1790d62422eaf613c227dca63440905669.jpg

2024-05-25 15:33:48

- reply

I was wiped out.

2024-05-25 15:33:28

I've just had a stack of toilet paper rolls fall on me in the supermarket...
I'm ok though, just soft tissue damage.

2024-05-25 15:31:41

Getting hired for a tech job in 2024 is easy.
You just need to be better than the other 4,300 applicants.

2024-05-24 22:38:29

My kids just told me that I own every board game except one.
I had no Clue.

2024-05-24 22:10:35

I tried doing 100 sit-ups but I didn’t finish.
My stomach couldn’t handle that kind of ab use.

2024-05-16 00:24:56

I think it’s a great idea to wear two different deodorants, one under each armpit, but that’s just my two scents.

2024-05-15 00:29:05

My son’s fourth birthday was just the other day. When I saw him in the morning, I didn’t recognize him at first.
I had never seen him be four.

2024-05-09 12:00:28

What makes us human?
Selecting all images with traffic lights.

2024-05-04 18:19:32

Just when you think that food cannot possibly call you on your phone..
Onion rings.

2024-05-02 22:40:29

Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square

2024-04-29 00:24:48

Extremely rare sneakers https://image.nostr.build/fd956f0c31938fc7b64477d313d7ab417473ca7ee3165e052479447d2850b384.jpg

2024-04-27 23:13:53

I told a joke on a Zoom Meeting and no one laughed.
It turns out I'm not remotely funny.

2024-04-17 07:15:30

When you start to Excel, people start to spreadsheet.

2024-04-11 18:52:51

I went to school for magicians but failed the final exam.
They were all trick questions.

2024-04-11 18:51:16

Why do fish always know how much they weigh?
Because they have their own scales

2024-04-02 17:47:56

What I if told you
You the read first line wrong?
Same the with second line
And also the third..

2024-03-31 20:47:16

Lance is an uncommon name nowadays.
But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.

2024-03-31 20:46:10

For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.
Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.

2024-03-23 10:54:12

3,026 years from today, life will either be really good or really bad.
It's 5050.

2024-03-23 10:53:51

Shout out to the people wondering what the opposite of in is

2024-03-17 17:35:26

ground beef https://image.nostr.build/8440d94a031477ae91f920db1a28473526123d14f177e6b5261a0de9d3bac139.jpg

2024-03-16 14:32:29

My friend just rejected cookies from a website because it's Ramadan

2024-03-14 23:41:33

It was so cold yesterday my computer froze.
It was my own fault though, I left too many windows open.

2024-03-14 23:40:37

I fell in love with a girl who only knew four vowels.
She never knew I existed.

2024-03-14 23:40:03

[Walks into bookstore]
Me: Do you have any books on turtles?
Worker: Hard back?
Me: Yeah, with little heads.

2024-03-12 00:04:25

The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”
And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”
That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.

2024-03-12 00:03:52

I've started a new band called "Blanket'.
We're a cover band.

2024-03-11 23:16:10

I asked my new girlfriend to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up.
Guess we're not gonna work out.

2024-03-11 23:15:40

The man who invented throat lozenges died last week.
There was no coffin at the funeral

2024-03-09 10:20:47

Not a huge fan https://image.nostr.build/b686abcd787bf13b6611ddd1eaa3c120a7b1a846bdda52a01694ce665d53b54e.jpg

2024-03-02 21:28:50

https://image.nostr.build/0c3fe85dddaae921711fe271ff1622b04167e371986e9e6aaaa2a5c5198b6730.jpg

2024-03-02 21:27:59

https://image.nostr.build/83144e840e6d537b5fee3daaede928741b6a2bec149efe82ccb56aa363e61a8e.png

2024-03-02 02:27:44

Why is Bitcoin difficulty so high?
Too much hash.

2024-03-02 02:27:04

Why won’t governments embrace Bitcoin?
They hate the idea of Proof Of Work.

2024-02-27 21:56:39

BREAKING: Apple has cancelled plans to make a car after realizing it would require windows

2024-02-27 06:00:50

On the phone with Bitcoin customer support..
They just said “please hold”.

2024-02-26 19:51:33

https://image.nostr.build/697e32bbc56a63c0ffe7624327dd2ab27bcfb789bdcdcc2b2e62d9905fdd30e4.jpg

2024-02-26 19:41:03

press f for bear https://image.nostr.build/9e154fe49d3b480c36de39f467c8997948c12510704bfecb5ff4460f2458904c.jpg

2024-02-26 19:02:08

Best not tell this guy any secrets https://image.nostr.build/d4029fae98f3bf48abc16ed780f4414d1b7f5c9cf80abd05b6dbd5268fc74a58.jpg

2024-02-25 23:12:21

I for one,
think puns with Roman Numerals are hilarious.

2024-02-25 23:11:49

I had a happy childhood.
My Dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills.
Those were Goodyears.

2024-02-24 18:26:20

https://image.nostr.build/5ccb439efb9982729d65615cc79b0c02425da09a92fa3f4cd93b07673b7cf36b.jpg

2024-02-24 18:18:01

What color is the wind?
Blew.

2024-02-20 22:38:18

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much.
What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

2024-02-20 22:37:28

What did the T-Rex say after his workout?
Dino Sore.

2024-02-17 23:37:30

What’s blue and doesn’t weight much?
Light blue.

2024-02-17 23:35:57

I once dated a woman who was 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Turkish, 1/4 Danish, and 1/4 Vietnamese.
She was great but I had to break up with her.
Too many red flags.

2024-02-17 11:37:02

https://image.nostr.build/338de4081c31fbdbf3fd34c66f22cfcb87324a4566f50ee049ffabe0a5bef614.jpg

2024-02-16 15:33:41

hee-heeegypt https://image.nostr.build/93c9f38eed8b5336d7aa11a312931b619fc38fd04acf3d0a48ca46c21af18f96.jpg

2024-02-16 11:09:11

https://image.nostr.build/e3580fe2650946f712d3237d146db92163fce2d996fc9f5e9200b359f65fefa7.jpg

2024-02-15 22:15:36

I just got diagnosed with Tom Jones syndrome.
Wife: Is that common?
Me: It's not unusual.

2024-02-15 22:15:10

A bug hit my windshield..
I bet he won't have the guts to do that again.

2024-02-13 22:03:17

Happy Valentine’s! Can’t wait for a date with candles 😍 https://image.nostr.build/f49ac35a16183479ec1ef288ed158ac5f7029dfcd3d1662c43197fbb4e808a7b.jpg

2024-02-13 08:07:31

I’m writing this post to talk about reverse psychology.
Please do not like or repost.

2024-02-13 08:05:28

I made a chicken salad yesterday..
Turns out they prefer grain.

2024-02-12 17:49:42

@npub1sg6…f63m https://image.nostr.build/b1f2b482980dedb2eaeb360ec6a4c8a431dd0331036e7638ac32fc2c74beb540.jpg

2024-02-12 17:39:53

When you know the #Bitcoin halving is near https://image.nostr.build/f2290595e460d58faeac53c07997711728efbd63b5be6c4f481d32b00ea8370b.jpg

2024-02-12 15:58:49

I accidentally ripped the outfit I wore to the Super Bowl.
I need a tailor, swiftly.

2024-02-12 14:00:57

https://image.nostr.build/baf934208379f5059af3b60fe71ecf2f6af799d11dd6027f3380e5ecd8dab8b4.jpg

2024-02-12 12:59:01

Loved the new Crypto Super Bowl ad! https://image.nostr.build/3ef210a513d97bd397515768dcff10dacf5856987097033c815b569c48b5cbd9.jpg

2024-02-11 14:03:20

https://image.nostr.build/4de13048d92783a5c430564f03f5eb760ed57cefbe02676e355ad0911f003727.jpg

2024-02-11 13:54:02

https://image.nostr.build/6a2813590a5d98094afc8d4142b8da61afa9b74cab6511f524ec37d9bf9dc1a3.jpg

2024-02-10 18:30:33

https://image.nostr.build/24e225381ed05f80391c65b64f85279c57eeab557364f50a35eded91bbdbd8d1.jpg

2024-02-09 10:50:25

What do you call 66% of a poop?
Two turds

2024-02-09 10:47:51

The S&P 500 hit 5,000. That means every company is now worth $10.

2024-02-08 21:11:48

Anyone want to buy a broken barometer?
No pressure.

2024-02-08 21:11:15

I like waiters.
They bring a lot to the table.

2024-02-06 22:38:20

iykyk https://image.nostr.build/c1b5d5c40d87caaae9bd7fb3f2deb105985785b22a1d884995ae3deab2c253c5.jpg

2024-02-06 16:01:33

My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.
I said “don’t forget your Baghdad.”

2024-02-06 15:26:47

🔞
Solana is down.
This is the first time most degens have had anything go down on them all year.

2024-02-05 01:08:03

Are mountains funny?
No, they're hill areas.

2024-02-04 12:52:50

https://image.nostr.build/539e528fee4482c6ed9eb58ec9dcc7c4e3d376f0a3d38042ea30b4fb5d8fed5a.jpg

2024-02-04 12:08:18

Summer 2024 https://image.nostr.build/4308f14d3a9f8598f195fcbe456c5e3bdd22ad405763f4958f4b2c6ce140dce6.jpg

2024-02-03 00:54:22

Saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM.
Confused, I asked him what he was doing..
He said: “Just checking my balance.”