joke_bot

NO LONGER RUNNING.

Public Key

npub1fvf0vye2tw5p8004t09ln5dvlmas9k4lvuv3mtt3k32kdrzznvmqrw4v6m

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsykyhkzv49h2qnhh64hjle6xk0a7czm2lkwxga44cmg4tx33pfkdspzemhxue69uhkummnw3ezummwwdshguewdaexws7r983

Publishing to

nostr.onsats.org

Author Public Key

npub1fvf0vye2tw5p8004t09ln5dvlmas9k4lvuv3mtt3k32kdrzznvmqrw4v6m

Show more details

Last Notes

2022-08-23 23:10:46

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Just joking around. Blame https://sv443.net/jokeapi/v2/ if you don't like a joke.
Available commands:
!joke...Tells a random joke. Category can be specified: any, programming, misc, dark, pun, spooky, christmas
!stats...Shows for how long I'm running and how many jokes I told.
!code...Spits out bot's source code.
!repo...Gives link to bot's repository.
!help...Show this help.

2022-08-23 23:10:24

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Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?
They work below C-level.

2022-08-19 22:27:00

Wasup, I'm a joke bot. Reply to me with !help.

2022-08-17 22:45:36

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What do Japanese cannibals eat?
Raw men.

2022-08-17 17:51:45

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2022-08-17 17:33:43

Wasup, I'm a joke bot. Reply to me with !help.

2022-08-16 23:47:43

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Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

2022-08-16 22:15:54

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What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

2022-08-16 22:09:38

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One's satisfying to hit with a sledgehammer. The other's a watermelon.

2022-08-16 22:02:52

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The KKK isn't really that racist.
I went to one of their meetings and there were a lot of black people hanging around.

2022-08-16 21:38:47

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I'm up 2d9h32m38s and I told 2 jokes since my last crash.

2022-08-16 21:38:39

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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work!

2022-08-16 21:38:14

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I'm up 2d9h32m5s and I told 1 jokes since my last crash.

2022-08-16 21:37:52

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I asked my wife if I was the only one she's been with.
She said, "Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights."

2022-08-14 12:06:20

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use nostr_bot::{
get_reply, keypair_from_secret, wrap_state, Command, Event, EventNonSigned, FunctorType};
struct Info {
started_at: std::time::SystemTime,
jokes_told: u64,
}
type State = nostr_bot::State<Info>;
async fn fetch_joke(category: &str) -> Result<String, reqwest::Error> {
let url = format!("https://v2.jokeapi.dev/joke/{}?format=txt", category);
let response = reqwest::get(url).await?;
response.text().await
}
async fn joke(event: Event, state: State) -> EventNonSigned {
let args = event.content.split_whitespace().collect::<Vec<_>>();
let category = if args.len() > 1 {
match args[1] {
"any" | "programming" | "misc" | "dark" | "pun" | "spooky" | "christmas" => args[1],
_ => {
return get_reply(
event,
String::from(
"Unknown category, run !help command to see available categories.",
),
)
}
}
} else {
"any"
};
let response = match fetch_joke(category).await {
Ok(joke_text) => {
state.lock().await.jokes_told += 1;
joke_text
}
Err(e) => format!("I was unable to get the joke: {}", e),
};
get_reply(event, response)
}
async fn stats(event: Event, state: State) -> EventNonSigned {
let state = state.lock().await;
let uptime_seconds = std::time::SystemTime::now()
.duration_since(state.started_at)
.unwrap()
.as_secs();
get_reply(
event,
format!(
"I'm up {} and I told {} jokes since my last crash.",
compound_duration::format_dhms(uptime_seconds),
state.jokes_told
),
)
}
async fn code(event: Event, _state: State) -> EventNonSigned {
get_reply(event, String::from(std::include_str!("main.rs")))
}
async fn repo(event: Event, _state: State) -> EventNonSigned {
get_reply(event, String::from("https://github.com/slaninas/joke_bot"))
}
#[tokio::main]
async fn main() {
nostr_bot::init_logger();
let relays = vec![
"wss://nostr-pub.wellorder.net",
"wss://relay.damus.io",
"wss://relay.nostr.info",
];
let mut secret = std::fs::read_to_string("secret").unwrap();
secret.pop(); // Remove newline
let keypair = keypair_from_secret(&secret);
let pic_url = "https://media.istockphoto.com/vectors/yellow-emoticons-and-emojis-vector-id1179177852?k=20&m=1179177852&s=612x612&w=0&h=5UrMXuV5x2WCI-d8twGI9gPZ6810wpgqyF9oy7X-r9M=";
let state = wrap_state(Info {
started_at: std::time::SystemTime::now(),
jokes_told: 0,
});
let mut bot = nostr_bot::Bot::new(keypair, relays, state)
.name("joke_bot")
.about("Just joking around. Blame https://sv443.net/jokeapi/v2/ if you don't like a joke.")
.picture(pic_url)
.intro_message("Wasup, I'm a joke bot. Reply to me with !help.")
.command(Command::new("!joke", nostr_bot::wrap!(joke)).description("Tells a random joke. Category can be specified: any, programming, misc, dark, pun, spooky, christmas"))
.command(
Command::new("!stats", nostr_bot::wrap!(stats))
.description("Shows for how long I'm running and how many jokes I told."),
)
.command(Command::new("!code", nostr_bot::wrap!(code)).description("Spits out bot's source code."))
.command(Command::new("!repo", nostr_bot::wrap!(repo)).description("Gives link to bot's repository."))
.help();
bot.run().await;
}

2022-08-14 12:06:11

Wasup, I'm a joke bot. Reply to me with !help.

2022-08-14 11:50:11

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You can see the source code at https://github.com/slaninas/joke_bot.

2022-08-14 11:50:05

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I'm up 2m40s and I told 1 jokes since my last crash.

2022-08-14 00:08:53

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Stop being homophobic and rude to the LGBTQ+ community. You should be thanking them for saving us plenty of room in heaven.

2022-08-14 00:08:08

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I'm up 1d6h26m22s and I told 0 jokes since my last crash.

2022-08-14 00:07:49

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What does the mermaid wear to math class?
Algae-bra.

2022-08-14 00:07:31

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I'm up 1d6h25m46s and I told 0 jokes since my last crash.

2022-08-13 21:36:00

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What's the most notable similarity between a pedophile and a roller coaster?
They both make a child scream, but the first ride's never the last

2022-08-13 21:35:39

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Just joking around. Blame https://sv443.net/jokeapi/v2/ if you don't like a joke.
Available commands:
!joke...Tell a random joke. Category can be specified: any, programming, misc, dark, pun, spooky, christmas
!stats...Show for how long I'm running and how many jokes I told.
!help...Show this help.

2022-08-13 21:02:30

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Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!

2022-08-12 21:57:26

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Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
Because he had no body to go with!

2022-08-12 20:19:06

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Say what you want about pedophiles...
But at least they drive slowly through the school zones.

2022-08-12 17:42:27

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Who is Santa's favourite singer?
Elf-is Presley!

2022-08-12 17:41:53

Wasup, I'm a joke bot. Reply to me with !help.

2022-08-12 15:27:57

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What did the cell say when his sister cell stepped on his foot?
Mitosis.

2022-08-11 23:18:23

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Being a self-taught developer is almost the same as being a cut neck chicken because you have no sense of direction in the beginning.

2022-08-10 23:34:33

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Do you know what killed the man who had a two ton pumpkin fall on him?
He was squashed.

2022-08-10 22:10:53

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Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't use medicine on an empty stomach.

2022-08-10 22:10:38

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What do you call a caveman's fart?
A blast from the past.

2022-08-10 22:07:08

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My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

2022-08-10 21:43:55

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You see, mountains aren't just funny.
They are hill areas.

2022-08-10 21:42:44

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I'm up 11h43m6s and I told 2 jokes since my last crash.

2022-08-10 21:42:29

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A perfectionist walked into a bar... apparently, the bar was not set high enough.

2022-08-10 15:50:30

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I'm up 5h50m51s and I told 1 jokes since my last crash.

2022-08-10 09:59:41

Wasup, I'm a joke bot. Reply to me with !help.

2022-08-09 21:21:11

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I'm unable to connect to jokeapi.dev. No jokes, I'm serious.

2022-08-09 21:20:30

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Just joking around. Blame https://sv443.net/jokeapi/v2/ if you don't like a joke.
Available commands:
!joke...Tell a random joke.
!stats...Show for how long I'm running and how many jokes I told.
!help...Show this help.

2022-08-09 21:16:32

Wasup, I'm a joke bot. Reply to me with !help.

2022-08-09 20:10:50

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2022-08-09 20:10:14

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I'm up 23h16m56s and I told 14 jokes since my last crash.

2022-08-09 20:06:53

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2022-08-09 20:06:04

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I'm up 23h12m47s and I told 11 jokes since my last crash.