I used to have a proper job where I sliced into human flesh and tore spirit-speech from the oozing remains of men; now it's mostly admin.
Public Key
npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Profile Code
nprofile1qqszmxmg0d9r8an3fdtrc8ww62sejcly7wkn3x205sn0ukaspxgajcspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsm6fk5g
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Published at
2026-08-29T13:53:44Z Event JSON
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Last Notes npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Manchester is off this weekend, but I think I'll do a sneaky little boogie over in a couple of weeks npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I booked an apartment for me and mum to share for three weeks. We arrived just now and it's a fucking studio with a sofa bad and I just want to scream and cry. Tired and stressed and increasingly worried about a mum who can no longer remember the name of her youngest granddaughter. This was supposed to be a chance to look after her and help her recover from grief and depression and I'm not sure how the fuck that works when we're sharing a fucking room. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Why is he suddenly everywhere in my life? Am I manifesting this? Is he become some libidinal tulpa? Or is it just a frankly *baffling* sign from the universe?? npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Feeling a bit too wobbly for my usual Sunday legs day. Will do a silly little arms workout and legs can wait till tomorrow. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford "Warhammer 40,000 is a British miniature wargame produced by Games Workshop. It is the most popular miniature wargame in the world, and is particularly popular in the United Kingdom" npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I keep finding folx on The Apps who are some version of "yeah obviously I'm here for sex but also if you're into 40K hit me up". One lad even just had a blood angel as his main pic. Spotted a trans girl on the grid looking for 40k buddies. Just delightful. What a time to be alive. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Leg workout leaving me DRIPPING npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford That is, I definitely got an onrush of a very pleasant sensation, but whether it was specifically meditative bliss (piti), I dunno. I reckon it was tho. I sometimes get brilliant, blindingly bright lights / light blazing in my vision when I'm on the cusp of sleep, which are described in meditation manuals and called nimittas. But my mind isn't trained enough for them to stabilise yet, so they often vanish (or I just fall asleep) npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I meditated pretty successfully while dreaming, that was pretty trippy... think I got an onrush of bliss, which woke me up. Lay enjoying the afterglow for a while. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I think gym just x2 per week. Tbh that plus running plus running uphill is probably more than enough to keep me ticking over. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Racked up a barbell for deadlifts and realised I really, really couldn't be bothered. My watch is telling me I'm a bit too knackered for a workout but I think I'm just bored of gyms. Went home, picked up a kettlebell, and took it for a walk around the block. Wishing I had more space at home so I could throw a sandbag around. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Going from 3-4 filter coffees before work and 3-4 instants through the day to... zero... was a rough landing but been an interesting and pretty gentle ride after that. Lots of sleeeeeeep, tho. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Entering week 3 of no caffeine and I am sleeeeeeeping 👀 npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Returned from the monastery. It was nice. I experienced massive caffeine withdrawal. This was less nice. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I'm more of a sci-fi guy, but am so glad I took a punt on his Tyrant Philosophers series. Just started book 3 after finishing Strife and feeling bereft. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Hevy says my deadlift is stronger than 70% of age matched controls and my withings scales say I'm dangerously low on muscle... I suspect someone is lying here npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford The thing (one of the things) with going to a naked night on my own to support a mate, is that I'm not drinking these days. I am veteran of enough naked nights to know that the absence of a drink to hold along with no pockets is a 'mare. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Do I go to the comedy show to support my mate? npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Was not prepared for the haunted threatening aura of Finland's ??official??? "Learn Finnish" site npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford My tache is salty npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford It feels like the elements are very keen for me to know they are There npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Still on Lindisfarne. Went for a walk in the mist. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I think I'm becoming relationship-curious with an old friend of mine... npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Feeling lonely in a very specifically queer way... npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Like, yes I am mostly ace but I am *gay* ace and I would like some gays. Also mostly ace doesn't preclude BDSM funtimes, and mostly ace is a little allo; sometimes I just want to suck dick and get railed by strangers in a club. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Feeling off kilter and for the first time in a LONG time really missing London. Which, when I interrogate it, is really about missing queer community. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Ruefully waving at £10,000 just passing through my account npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Maybe I should just go get drunk in Manchester??? npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford and A Little Talk npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Beverley Glen Copeland - La Vita npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I like it! But also it feels weaker if I'm not watching along with everyone else, and there's too many of this series to speedrun my way through now and catch up npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Vast and deep longing to go on a silly drunken escapade around gay London, maybe with a selection of Thingboxers, and also to be in my mid 20s and for it to be approximately 2007. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I would go on a cute little run but I've ?broken? a metatarsal so, no. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Am also seriously considering chucking the bed and mattress (both are ancient) and getting a traditional futon for the floor. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Just finished my 3rd and final load of laundry, about to do A Shop... my bedroom is looking better and maybe by the end of today will actually look cosy (if cluttered). This is good stuff. Feel like I have a handle on my life again. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I am gutted that Stuff means I missed the start of Traitors and its way too late to bother catching up now npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford An impenetrable man-merge sounds pretty frustrating, tbh npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Today was going to be a long shift. As I left the house I had a fkash recall of holding dad as he wept on the hospital bed, crying for his mother. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford This is dark BTW don't believe my phone's lying eyes npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I am such a lark that the only time I see the city in the dark is in early morning npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford (I have Teams'd work saying I won't be in) npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I have passed work and am heading into town on the tram. Not sure what I'm doing 🙃 npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I am blissfully unaware of The Discourse npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford At some point I should watch the hockey sex show npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford tensions erupt as the peoples of Manchester Piccadilly encroach onto lands historically claimed by the seven tribes of Sheffield npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I should visit Shetland npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford just checked and, amazingly, yes they are still selling them. £3k! npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford It was one of the few VHS' we had in my second year houseshare, and I mostly associate it with being atrociously hungover npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford oh no npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Sorry, he's just popping up on my feed again npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Do we think Jimmy the Giant has a giant nob? npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Today's Old English word of the day is "eald-gesegen" (EH-ald-yeh-ZEH-yen) - an old saga npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford oh, I enjoyed this! Didn't get much of a run at the cinema but was a lot of fun! npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I am not against the concept of accidentally becoming a miller npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford it will not be proper medieval flatbread as they didn't get their flour from Tesco npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I should make some early medieval flatbread (OE "cycel", pron. kytchel; BrE "cake", "kitchen') npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I'm off to Lindisfarne at the end of the month and am on an early medieval journey npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Today's Old English word of the day is 'healf-hundisc' (HEH-alf-HUN-dish) - half-hound. Kind of like a werewolf, I guess? Or a pup? npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford happy birthday. Welcome to the world of tomorrow! npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I have just discovered the existence of st Chad. SAINT CHAD! npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford SAINT CHAD!!! npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford ANYHOW. The book I am now curling up with, having finished Wakehyrst, is The Others of Edenwell. Carrying on the 1900s creepy folk horror vibes. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford "Can you do computers?" npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I made it to the meditation group last night (am paying for it this evening, incompetent for anything more than bed and a book); all the volunteers who run it are at least 60 and desperate for someone who understands zoom and can run a social media account, so... npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford FUN FACT: A similar conspiracy emerged around BBC's Sherlock npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I am simply avoiding January gym, I think npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I still have another 2h at work, somehow??? Rude. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford as I have learned! npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Off to Lindisfarne at the end of this month so have decided to spend a few weeks reading about its history 🤗 npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford In other news tho, I have been corralled into volunteering with the meditation group, and with subsequent retreats (I eagerly agreed to help even before it was pointed out that it means free retreats!) npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford There was an extremely beautiful man on the retreat, who had stunning posture. Kinda put me to shame with my tight hips and hams and back that starts complaining if I spend more than 40 mins on a meditation cushion 🙃 npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford 30 years since I first read this and I'm still furious with Ged for making such an appalling choice npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford can't miss an opportunity to share this, off npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford LeGuin is a superior writer and far superior storyteller in every way. And only book 1 is about a boy (book 2 is mostly about a teenage girl. Book 3 he's fully grown, and book 4 is about a woman and her daughter) npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I'm *really* looking forward to getting to Tombs. Here's the frontispiece for it in my hardback npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Going to do the same with The Dispossessed, but that's a risky one to read cos it can get me riled and stoked. One moment you're reading a silly little SciFi, the next you're looking at the state of the world and plotting to REDACTED npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Keep telling myself I'm going to improve my writing; finally sat down to do a critical re-read of Earthsea (I've been meaning to read it again for ages anyhow) npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Niece and her gf are curled up on the sofa watching a New Year classic (The Substance) npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford the big corpos are open, which is why I'm here and not, say, a cute little tea house by the Buddhist centre npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Also passed a Luke Horton mural, delighted to discover that there are people who share my thoughts about Luke Horton's art npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford It is A Trek back home, so I stopped off for a Starbucks with ✨a view💫 npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Got the wrong day for the Buddhist retreat so am spending NYD walking back home from the opposite side of Sheffield. Gorgeous morning to take in the sights ❤ npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Think I'll go to bed and watch Penda's Fen. HNY, phone people npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Finally upgraded from playing 15 year old games to playing 7 year old games and I feel lime I've been given knowledge I am not ready for. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford I am off to a (non residential) retreat tomorrow, for a couple of days, which will be good for all the obvious reasons, and also it will peel me away from KC:D. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Feeling very crowded at home and also slightly ill so not willing to escape to the gym 🙃 npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford First Cyberpunk, now Kingdom Come... I am suddenly Gaming again, ie sitting down lots and staring at a TV. Genuinely thinking about getting a cute little treadmill. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford excuse me but how else am I supposed to know if I've slept poorly or well?! npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Me taking a stroll in the woods, summer 2025 npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford See if you can use your powers of deduction to pinpoint when in 2025 my dad became seriously ill 🙃 npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Tho have have yet to read the final Shardlake novel so should probably start that next (I can read sci fi at any time of the year, but horror and anything set pre C20th *has* to be on the dark side of the equinoxes) npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Really enjoyed Michelle Paver's Dark Matter last winter, so curled up with Thin Air a few weeks ago, am now about 1/3rd through Wakenhyrst and am gutted because this is her most recent and after finishing it I will be bereft. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Big fan of dick (in Minecraft) npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Stared playing Kingdom Come today and this afternoon bought Kingdom Come II just cos you can do gay stuff in it. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford There is, of course, something approaching a queer support network in many large cities, although it is a mixed blessing. But now I think on it, I wouldn't have been able to move to London without it; it provided valuable couch crash space and community for my first year. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Oh I'm being targeted today, am I? npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford And this is me being 4 and adorable. Apparently we'd just got back from holiday. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Enchanted by the colours in this photo of me (left) and my big brother, Vancouver 1984. Has a softness you don't seem to get with digital. npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford 🤗 npub19kdks762x0m8zj6k8swua54pn937fuad8zv5lfpxledmqzv3m93q36d7ts Pipford Gym ?surprisingly? busy. Did bouncy functional stuff just to keep the (increasingly creaky) body limber. Will do vain upper body stuff tomorrow (plus sled), and big boy lower body stuff the day after.
