You're conflating lightning with on-chain. Two different things with different trade offs. Like its painful UX which is a major reason vast majority of users use lightning custodially
Monero anon set is far larger than Bitcoin if you're transacting on-chain and not CJing often.
There's about $300mil of value on Lightning VS $3 BILLION on Monero
Do you mean asking permission to transact on white markets to buy coffee? Why wouldn't I just use fiat for that if I'm going to ask for permission anyway? Much more convenient and everyone accepts it. Don't need to jump thru tax loopholes either.
https://zapalytics.com/