yeah, problem solved, i think, firstly, it was the cable, probably a "charging cable" with shitty bandwidth, using the provided short cable on it, 5mbit, no problem, 500mb/s so it's as fast as a SATA SSD, but more portable
card provides 10Gbit total, the extension cable and 10Gbit 4 way hub only gets 5Gbit so i guess it's maybe possibly i didn't pay attention, and i bought a 10Gbit card - or - as it's on a port that looks like it's shared to an M.2 for my main system drive perhaps its getting less than the 20Gbit it otherwise could
but 5gbit is fine, really, that is decent