Been looking at nostr relay implementations to use as a personal relay and installed two, chorus and nostr-rs-relay
Gotta say there was no cussing, which for setting up servers is unusual
For a personal inbox/outbox relay under active development I reckon chorus is a good option
* it's configured out of the box to only accept events authored by you or which you're tagged in
* anyone can download events from the relay but only you can download dm's
Other relay implementations don't have much flexible configuration, or they do but it's complex
And M. Dilger (nprofile…nq40) has written pretty much the gold standard in documentation https://github.com/mikedilger/chorus
So I'm using chorus as my inbox relay and nostr-rs-relay as my outbox relay (because I like to tinker)
https://github.com/scsibug/nostr-rs-relay