garden_variety_jess
Jessica Chasteen

Gardener, Writer, Creator 🪴🖋️🎨
Hillbilly Spiritualist:
Born of Royalty + Heresy 🕊️
Social Media + Tech Enthusiast 🤓
YouTube + Spotify:
#GardenVarietyJess 🎥🎙️
#GardenVarietyBlog 💜💚

Public Key

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NIP-05 Address

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NIP-57 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqspnhx537zxue3r65nyucqug8wtuxzw4ndwd4k6rywvnwq6j728hngpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsss7qrf

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

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npub1r8wdfruydenz84fxfespcswuhcvyatx6umtd5xguexup49u500xskf50hn

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Last Notes

2024-09-07 13:57:03

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Gm Eliza! ☕️🫂

2024-09-04 14:45:39

GM 🥑 Mandela effect test! The small avocado whose name starts with H and ends with S — How is that name spelled? #mandelaeffect

2024-08-29 17:59:00

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It’s going well, friend! How’s it going with you? 🫂

2024-08-29 16:18:03

GM ☕️ ever heard the saying: “those who can’t do, teach”? Well, if that’s true I’d like to add: “Those who can’t teach, argue.” 🤣

2024-08-28 23:59:14

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Right like if there really is some secret rigging going on, like Bernie fans suspected in 2016, Kennedy would be the much more believable “spoiler” for Trump than Jill Stein.

2024-08-26 17:29:56

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Right and that’s because most of it has been cultivated for high-THC! My husband gets wildly paranoid on high-thc cannabis but he is super relaxed on high-CBD hemp products. He is also more “autistic/rigid” than I am.

2024-08-23 13:05:24

GM ☕️ yall wanna sneak peek of the new product I am designing for my Etsy store? 👀 Drumroll, please. 🥁 It’s a gardening calendar by zone for 2025! 🤩 ya girl is about to get busy illustrating! 😎🎨 #proofofwork #gardenstr #flowerstr https://image.nostr.build/04462684b63282d354af6f588f5f20a2e6a844d800fc9bf7b790abea2cbb7c7b.jpg

2024-08-22 14:20:50

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Ah yes! Just the light reading I need on my day off 😎🤓

2024-08-22 13:25:13

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Those glasses tho 😍🤙

2024-08-21 22:42:02

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Ain’t nobody need Elmo’s legal team coming for me 🤣🤣🤣

2024-08-21 22:41:15

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I didn’t say it was taken down by X. It was just taken down. 🤙

2024-08-21 12:41:29

GM 🌞 the “very demure, very mindful” trend on #TikTok could be an entire case study on viral memes. 🤓 yeah, I know I’m a nerd.

2024-08-20 22:45:32

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I mean, I get it. The DNC has fought the Kennedy camp every breath for the past year. They should have cut a deal with him but they were too afraid of him.

2024-08-20 21:25:24

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🤣 the pain in her voice

2024-08-20 15:49:12

GM 🌞 Bassem Youssef had his X account with 11mil followers taken down yesterday. I have invited him to join us on #Nostr instead. 😇

2024-08-20 13:32:15

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Even though I don’t “like” anything you just said, I do think you’re right, and I do like that we can have robust conversations about this here without fearing being blacklisted by saying a trigger word. Thanks

2024-08-19 23:24:30

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I guess I could have tagged this with #interpol but that seems spooky 😅

2024-08-19 23:23:14

Do we have a #ceasefire in #Gaza???? 🤞🤞 #asknostr #uspol #viralnews

2024-08-18 01:46:09

Lmao my affirmations app got jokes. I love the internet. 🤣 #verydemure https://image.nostr.build/cad9cb2f38c65a1176ad212d08c13b836ef8a57ccd164fccb0497f273afd005a.jpg

2024-08-17 16:22:08

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Nice! Yeah I figured the instructions would be in Chinese, but at least I have a mechanically inclined husband who can help me figure it out. Haha.

2024-08-17 15:45:36

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I’m going to try a small(ish) purchase first: an infrared sauna. I expect it’ll show up flat packed and I’ll have to assemble it, which is fine. I’ve already placed an inquiry and they are designing a quote, but my questions are: Does the client usually arrange the port-to-home part of the shipment or does the seller handle that? (The seller does say on their FAQ that they ship to port or to front-door.) And has it been your experience that assembly instructions are friendly? 😅

2024-08-17 02:05:59

Question for fellow Americans: have you ever ordered a product from Alibaba, and if so, how was your experience? Any tips?

2024-08-16 01:58:23

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We are all Dans here 🤣

2024-08-16 01:56:30

The memes are strong today https://image.nostr.build/97b2b99b5d2911c8ea8392f169cc5f1d242a33fe90db5db4696057c68b8d5b33.jpg

2024-08-15 23:04:40

…why does #costar always punch me in the gut like this? 🤣 https://image.nostr.build/6ad3fd7b8f45ee0a34715ecf0f6b4a14742a069d92db2c1640004fc0f08bab76.jpg

2024-08-11 17:43:02

GM 🌞 Sunday synchronicity story time: I have a friend in town who is a widow in her 70s named Flossie. About once a month I go help her in her garden. Two weeks ago when I was there, she gave me a birds nest and said: “I saved this for you. You never know when you might need a birds nest.” And I thanked her and brought it home and put it on my shelf of curiosities.
Didn’t think another thing about it until today when my husband yelled out in despair because he accidentally destroyed a hidden birds nest in one of our patio tables with the leaf blower - and terrified the poor baby bird inside.
I was like: wait, I have just the thing. Went inside and grabbed that birds nest and got the little dude back in his table. The parent birds cussed us out I think, but they are flying in and out of there now like they’re cool. 🤣 anyway, what are the odds? #synchronicity

2024-08-11 17:35:12

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Right same here!

2024-08-10 20:09:43

You wanna know what is WAY overpriced that nobody is talking about? Freaking trash bags. Lol but seriously. I’m always shocked by how much they cost.

2024-08-10 14:27:35

GM ☕️ sometimes I think about how interesting it is that we collectively decided that “spoilers” of certain popular media were uncool, so we invented “spoilers-without-context” as a way to signal that we are pop culture aware and also clever but not a dick. 🤣

2024-08-09 13:33:12

GM ☕️ getting comments like this one is why I make videos on the internet. 🥰 humans are pretty ok I guess. https://image.nostr.build/97eef2a5c3aeb07eb2c5e46acea6bfa2bf9f5eb2aac908a97555290b750aa1a8.jpg

2024-08-07 16:40:32

GM 😎 I got the love letters and pink dahlias… who wants to wrestle? 🤣 #costar is so weird. https://image.nostr.build/35f5233695530b09a2c4d31b01e6f5f6ddb403a8a824d4e220e20bb2e34c368f.jpg

2024-08-07 00:41:42

A serious post because I’m a serious person. Lol jk but I did work out today so there’s that. 😎💪 #fitbodapp https://image.nostr.build/4a6600561c165fcada4eb82268148aa13e142ca52b79297ba79b9b1e6d20dca6.jpg

2024-08-06 21:26:00

To the windows!!! To the WALZ!!!
🤣 sorry I’ll see myself out…

2024-08-06 17:02:16

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I like what Gary Brecka says which is: ADHD isn’t a lack or deficit of attention, it’s the inability to “metabolize” thoughts. Haha.

2024-08-06 16:59:27

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🤙 It’s over here on the ticketytock: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRonR4rQ/

2024-08-06 13:44:51

GM ☕️😈 yesterday I made a video about ADHD brains, and a couple peeps showed up demanding that I talk faster and remove my background Mozart because they couldn’t understand me.
I informed them that to have such strong sensory preferences and “rules” that you believe should apply to everyone is not adhd, it’s autism. 😇 no judgment, it just is what it is. 😅

2024-08-05 14:01:55

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They really do have the boomers convinced 🙄

2024-08-05 14:01:29

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What’s happening to my friends family is Gaza has nothing to do with democracy or peacekeeping unfortunately

2024-08-05 13:59:46

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It is pretty hilarious to hear him tell it, which he went ahead and did yesterday because he found out the story was breaking this morning. Lol.

2024-08-05 13:38:52

GM ☕️ Bobby Kennedy just turned in the most signatures of any independent candidate in American history, but you probably won’t hear about that because the New Yorker is running a story about him as a young man putting a roadkill bear in Central Park and staging it as a bike accident for shits and giggles. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If the point of that piece was to anger or disgust me, then the good people at the New Yorker really don’t understand what I’ve seen in the past 300 days that ACTUALLY angers and disgusts me. I’ll be voting for anyone who possibly could end the war machine, and I’m not sorry about it. Happy Monday! 😄

2024-08-03 19:00:42

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Nice to meet you as well! Thanks for stopping by. 🤙

2024-08-03 18:57:58

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I’m under the impression orange is everyone’s favorite color around here (besides purple) so you’re just btc-coded 😄

2024-08-03 18:03:49

GM 😎 if you don’t know me IRL then you might not know I have been a floral designer and photographer for many years, but this is the first year I’m striking out into actual flower farming and farm tourism aka inviting local photographers to host photoshoots in my gardens.
Today I saw the most amazing idea for how to conceptualize your photography projects! Go to Pinterest and start a new board, then search for your main project idea (for me it was “flower farm photography”) and scroll through and save 100 pins that really catch your attention aesthetically - almost as fast as you can, like don’t overthink it - and once you’re done, go back and analyze those pins for common themes like color, background, lighting, styling, etc.
GENIUS. I am so inspired now 😆 if you see me looking for an antique row boat for my pond, mind ya business! 😎🤙
#photography #photographers #pinterest

2024-08-02 18:56:59

Lol #costar wtf - I’m all cried out, myself. https://image.nostr.build/ba6b3708b35973eff1e70e20d5cf648c3cdfeb1859f23d5ce21390582b537488.jpg

2024-07-31 20:10:59

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https://image.nostr.build/6307ad2603c4716c0cf983987f93f25352c1f941b1d4e7e2965c6a4a4f186034.jpg

2024-07-31 20:09:11

Some people have normal dreams like becoming a millionaire or whatever.
And then there’s me… dreaming about hosting a dinner party for all my favorite comedians.
Dream weird, plebs. 🤣🤙

2024-07-31 20:01:03

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🤣 you get the prize for most original idea

2024-07-31 12:14:27

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Indeed. Good advice for us all. I have tried a variety of styles and hair-colors over the years, but I’m glad to be back to my natural color with my silver hairs as highlights 😆

2024-07-31 01:08:27

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Niiice thanks!

2024-07-30 23:45:05

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🎶 whisper words of wisdom: let it beee 🎶

2024-07-30 23:44:37

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I do use rosemary oil on my scalp but normally only before wash day hmm

2024-07-30 23:44:09

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Serum! Interesting

2024-07-30 23:43:40

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It has waves to it when it air dries with no tension

2024-07-30 23:42:43

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Interesting! Drop the product link. I only wash my hair twice a week as it is so I’m going to try re-rolling it tonight to see.

2024-07-30 20:21:05

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Interesting… because I always wrap them up after a fresh shampoo… hmmmmm. So maybe I should try just dampening my unwashed hair and then rolling it? 🤔🤙 worth a try

2024-07-30 18:26:18

GM 🌞 anybody with ultra-fine hair wanna explain to me how I can make these overnight curls last more than 30 seconds in this humidity? 😅 they look so good for half a minute. Lolol. Disregard the puffy morning face. https://image.nostr.build/7247c27b6783a35202f9c6175f7cc12248ea7466bdbaa9a1f17b486e0c11eb34.jpg

2024-07-29 23:03:17

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Boom! I second this rule. Hubs calls me eagle claws.

2024-07-27 12:46:42

GM 🌞 just found out part of the Paris opening ceremony for the Olympics featured a bisexual throuple, and I just know my ancestral cousin Philip (I) the Fair is up in Versailles-in-the-sky sobbing.
France has historically been more polyamorous than most places in Europe - but the Roman Catholic Church really leveraged blackmail and government power to keep them under a chokehold-for-Christ. Even as recently as this year, there have been bad actors on the political right in France physically attacking non-heteronormative individuals.
To embrace bisexuality and polyamory as part of France’s cultural story in front of the world is monumental and long overdue. It sends a clear message that people should be allowed to engage in any consensual adult relationships without fear. Bravo frères et sœurs!

2024-07-24 19:15:12

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Yeah no kidding 😅 but it really did change my personality. I tell people I’m not as much of a “bleeding heart” as I used to be haha

2024-07-24 14:11:32

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You are on fire with the memes this week 👏

2024-07-24 14:10:37

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Open heart surgery 😅

2024-07-24 14:09:25

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but loathing someone you’ve never met in real life and only know via media is also a parasocial relationship.
I really do think this negative-parasocial relationship was normalized by reality TV where people were “voted off the island” who were unpopular - so it became very common to openly judge and critically comment on these people that we have never met. When you stop to think about it, it’s kinda weird. Lol.
Anyway, the moral of the story is: don’t let someone you’ve never met IRL live rent free in your head. 🤙

2024-07-24 14:01:00

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Btw the book in question is “Manic Pixie eGirl” by Nate Lemke, and yeah it’s basically smutty modernized tarot lore with interwoven elements of Project Gateway and other remote-viewing / psychological conspiracy elements. Definitely not going in the modern classics category- lol - but I also didn’t expect to be weirdly bullied for posting a video about it. Lmao.🤣 I cleared my TikTok cache after that because I was on the wrong side of the algorithm fence apparently.

2024-07-24 13:50:58

GM 🦁 If I had a nickel for every time I was cyber-bullied by grown women about making a book recommendation, I’d have three nickels which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened thrice. 😅 Go forth, provide value, ignore the trolls. 🤙

2024-07-22 23:05:29

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I’ve been wondering this too. Gretchen maybe? Maybe she’ll see what ol Klobuchar is up to lol

2024-07-22 23:01:46

🤣🤣🤣 #note1nx8…gv6m

2024-07-22 22:30:35

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I love this 😍

2024-07-21 13:12:28

Just putting this info here for the record… even though they have now claimed this was all a cLeRiCaL eRrOr that just happened to occur on 7-12 😐 p.s. this also happened to American Airlines stock in Sept 2001 and was not a clerical error then… “and you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free”… https://image.nostr.build/e37ff06ba172353482d0d43b7dda96f22a7dade16717eb49a701dbe3b584b53c.jpg https://image.nostr.build/d5b48f775ca40efaf4b4b932f0bf62c4d151c1d05e76a03a31990d7545cf4056.jpg https://image.nostr.build/0fd966208fa67834a66abfd39293d1f78a7dada87beb8d98d37f5c4f9c7a8fd4.jpg

2024-07-20 13:03:34

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Never!!! 🤣

2024-07-19 16:17:40

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I loved this show so much that I couldn’t bring myself to watch the last episode 😅

2024-07-19 16:16:41

Working in software on days like today is pure comedy 🤣

2024-07-19 16:12:23

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I kinda hoped to see a blue screen today so I could just chill on the clock 🤣 Friday feeling

2024-07-19 14:15:41

GM ☕️ just been thinking about how if replies could get zaps on #TikTok I might be rich right now 🤣 what does it mean when my replies get more likes than my content? Am I destined to be a commentator?! 😅 in all seriousness, it’s clear I’m a writer more than a videographer. I appreciate that I can be both aspects of my creator-self here on #nostr though. 🤙

2024-07-16 03:08:22

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Yeah honestly as much as I hate to say it I think there’s some patronizing / elitism in the Dems that keeps them from being able to reach this particular group. I know from experience that my local party was unwilling to knock on any “unfriendly” doors and to me that is a grave mistake.

2024-07-16 03:00:28

Ok I’m sharing this conversation that I had earlier with a maintenance guy to show you the nuance of red state politics.
Me: You think Trump will win after this weekend for sure?
Him: oh definitely- I hope he does.
Me: Yeah? You like him?
Him: I don’t love him, but I like him. I think he and Bill Clinton were the best two presidents in my lifetime.
Me: I wasn’t expecting you to say Clinton…
Him: Yeah he got caught doing bad stuff, but Trump did bad stuff too. We all do bad stuff I guess. But the economy was good under Clinton and under Trump and gas prices were low so that’s all I know.
Me: I feel you.
Folks - we aren’t enemies. We all are just trying to get by. Love yall. #uspol

2024-07-15 16:05:56

GM 🌞 don’t forget to rise and grind! #fitbodapp https://image.nostr.build/389262f0dec1c696832bf86d09e8d34ab58a09424d2738749f1437ad1057591a.jpg

2024-07-15 16:04:29

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They’re usually not mad 🤣

2024-07-14 23:22:28

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I believe this is a combination of factors: 1) I don’t wear makeup online but I do when I go out of my house lol and 2) the selfie camera (which yes, I still film content with, so sue me) distorts everyone’s face to make their nose bigger. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2024-07-14 23:19:18

When people see me in real life for the first time, they often comment that I look different in person than online, and all I can think is: “But in a good way… right? Right?” Insert Padme and Anakin in the field meme. 🥲 #jokestr

2024-07-14 23:09:46

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Aww shucks 🥰

2024-07-12 22:12:08

I need more girl friends… or guy friends who also like to gossip would be fine too. 😅

2024-07-11 14:27:46

GM ☕️ from your friendly neighborhood floral designer 💐😘
#flowerstr #bloomstr https://image.nostr.build/0fcd1fb74f850386c6816ae6e201de1357d6e563258dd0b4d0afbf598eb5caa7.jpg

2024-07-09 20:26:15

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France 🇫🇷😍

2024-07-09 20:23:14

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🤣

2024-07-09 20:22:42

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No wonder they didn’t want us voting 🤣

2024-07-09 13:09:52

GM 🍎 Crazy food history story of the week: Johnny Appleseed - John Chapman was in actuality a businessman who moved with the frontier and planted apple trees for homesteaders who were required by law to plant fruit trees.
But since he was a very religious and legalistic man, he refused to graft trees and would only grow them from seed - as god intended, which produced nearly inedible apple fruits across the entire US because apples mutate every generation as a defense mechanism.
Within 30 years, all of John Chapman’s apple orchards were converted to cider breweries and the US had one of the largest cider industries in the world until the 1870s when WOMEN organized to burn down almost all the cider orchards. Then we imported beer from Germany and that is how America became a beer drinking country.
🤣 if you didn’t know, now you know. Cheers 🍻 #foodhistory #beer #appletrees #johnnyappleseed

2024-07-07 02:17:56

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Already on it 😉

2024-07-07 01:55:55

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The answer is no?

2024-07-07 01:54:06

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🤔 what a weirdly racist thing to say

2024-07-07 01:03:57

Having a little #Bridgerton watch party with my coworkers to celebrate the end of a year long project! Huzzah! 🥂
https://m.primal.net/JJhS.jpg
https://m.primal.net/JJhW.jpg

2024-07-03 15:07:13

GM 🫖 Fucking ouch #costar 😅
https://m.primal.net/JGjn.jpg

2024-06-30 23:11:59

Ah yes - the weekend pineapple percussions (Ted Lasso fans will know) - not here!
#note1v2k…2t05

2024-06-30 23:09:13

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🤣

2024-06-30 19:56:04

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Lol yeah they are called “the blank stare” and “the golfer shrug” 🤣

2024-06-30 18:49:09

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😎 I’m on TikTok so yall don’t have to be 🫡😅 answered your question in a quote-note 🤙

2024-06-30 18:47:09

False “Disconnected from internet” errors popping all over, comments/shares/stitches/duets all not working, search function blank, live-streaming errors. 🤠 seemed to only be impacting American users as far as I can tell. I guess that’s why they made TikTok move all American data here where they could keep us in check 😅 #shenanigans #note1wug…lunh

2024-06-30 18:42:57

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False “Disconnected from internet” errors popping all over, comments/shares/stitches/duets all not working, search function blank, live-streaming errors. It was chaos lol

2024-06-30 18:21:57

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I thought the one with RFK was interesting. John Stossel moderated, and they had a live studio audience. They played Biden and Trump’s answers and then they paused and gave Kennedy 2 min to respond. He had the best answer of the 3 on Israel/Palestine - which was lead with compassion and diplomacy and broker a ceasefire. He brought up becoming world leaders in bitcoin, blockchain and AI tech while formulating smart regulations around tech ethics. It was definitely better than just watching the CNN version of the duopoly. 😅

2024-06-30 17:20:38

Absolutely I can. Thanks for sharing!
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPREPPtKN/ #note1jl3…lcya

2024-06-30 17:18:41

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🫡