Mᴀʏᴀ :bc:

I'd have my laptop with the brightness off, untouched for the last 2 hours and the fan would randomly starts huffing and puffing. Are you having a nightmare, baby girl?

2024-01-16 19:16:35

Have you ever dreamed of making your problems your neighbors problems? We got you, babe!
- Leaves blower makers

2023-12-29 21:47:39

Alarms only job is to scream once a day for 5 minutes straight and I think I've chosen the wrong career.

2023-12-21 22:14:08

There's this electronic reseller doing an ad campaign for "best gifts under 60 bucks" from their store. The first two are internet router and socket splitter.

2023-12-20 20:07:05

But what about stop screaming into the void? What about treating the void with kindness? Ever thought of that? No, because you only think about yourself!

2023-12-19 23:17:02

I don't trust my 6am self. This bitch would ruin our whole life for 10 more minutes of sleep.

2023-12-18 17:05:28

Apparently, when asked "what you'd bring to the table" in a work meeting, "wine" is not the answer they are looking for.

2023-12-16 19:49:10

I'm not interested about the number of your followers unless it's a cult. Than I'm all ears. Do you get naked and dance around a pentagram together? What's your favorite sacrifice? What ya think about the Cats movie?

2023-11-16 19:02:50

But would I understand 007 if I haven't met the 6 other agents yet?

2023-10-20 13:13:48

Ya know what's also all-natural, SUSAN? Snake venom. 100% all-natural, 100% bio, #NoGMO.

2023-09-09 19:42:52

All those "sugar free" signs at my grocery store and yet they still made me pay for it for some reason.

2023-08-30 18:55:49

People who post *only* about relationships, do you own a personality?

2023-08-27 18:21:56

Ok, so my last Toot went better than I was even prepared for, I'm quite likely overwhelmed by all the responses. But nevertheless I'm slowly but surely going over all of them.
I think that's a proof of the potential of Mastadon to help each other and it shows what a community driven, and not algorithm driven, platform is capable of doing.
Cheers 🥂

2023-08-26 20:55:18

(please boost to help me gather more good tips)
So, Mastadon, please tell as one (or more) of your best sleeping advice. It could be about how you fall asleep faster, how you manage to sleep through the night without waking up, how you make the most of the time you have to sleep, what you do to help yourself feel better first thing in the morning. Anything you've tried and believe to be helpful that has to do with sleep.
Let's work together and help each other seep and feel better.

2023-08-15 14:21:44

My favourite way of fighting sexism is playing dumb so *big brave boys* feel obligated to do my work for me while I just chill.
Am I using sexist people? Maybe.
Am I sorry? No.
If they weren't sexiest in the first place, I wouldn't have set the trap.

2023-08-14 18:43:36

People would say something along the lines of "everyone should use their phones less" and click "publish" with a straight face.

2023-08-08 22:32:28

Mastodon combines 2 of my favourite things - memes and talking to myself.

2023-08-08 21:46:02

*First day as a waiter*
Me: *sitting and waiting*

2023-08-08 16:38:00

High school sucks. No amount of nostalgia could brainwash me to believe it was the best years of my life.

2023-08-06 14:06:06

Are you all so unsure of your sexual preference that you make a whole community over the believe someone could be 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 gay?

2023-08-04 22:15:29

I don't know who needs to hear this but you don't actually have to be a woman to be a feminist.

2023-07-03 19:26:42

Btw back in time when Facebook just added the cover photos and profile timeline as we know it now, many people were pissed about the changes.
Zuckerberg addressed the criticism posting something along the line that this is as if someone comes to your house and change all your furniture. Even if they give you better furniture you would still be pissed.
It stuck with me because well... It's a fair point. So, I decided to give the changes some time to get used to them and than make up my mind. In this particular case I ended up overall liking it better.
I try to give system changes the benefit of the doubt before I start shit talking. I did it with Twitter as well in the beginning when Musk just took over. I had a conversation with the one and only Andy (@AndyJokedAgain) who decided to take a break from Twitter right after Musk stepped in. At the time my point of view was still hopeful and I saied I'm looking forward to things getting back to normal after the initial shock and even maybe some previous problems getting fixed eventually.
But, boy, little did I knew how wrong I was... I guess Musk got inspired by Zuckerberg but decided to go a step futher and burn your house down instead.
To all of you who come here now in this #TwitterMigration wave:
I know eventually this particular nonsense would get a tiny little bit under control and you would get tempted to go back to the bird site just because it's what you're familiar with and the Fediverse is kinda confusing at first. But I advise you, just like the example above, if you feel this way, give it a bit longer shot. Give yourself some time to get familiar with the differences and then decide what you want to do. Because we both know this is not the last Twitter downfall even if it gets sami normal for a while. In terms of #Mastodon , the more time you spend here, the more you start wondering why you didn't come here earlier.
Well, at least in my experience.

2023-07-02 22:11:52

Don't mess with people who cut their own hair. They're not scared of shit, man.

2023-03-21 22:50:03

Not to brag but I can embarrass myself in two different languages.

2023-03-15 22:37:36

Money doesn't make you happy. But what people forget to mention is that a lack of money can make you unhappy.