I was once called the terror that quacks in the night and I'm damn proud of it.
Public Key
npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h Profile Code
nprofile1qqs0we4ewx47uaky27xx9sy4s450x0hnh8wc49csuug2lsns3jqyrpqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsj993nl
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Published at
2025-05-19T11:59:20Z Event JSON
{
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"pubkey": "f766b971abee76c4578c62c0958568f33ef3b9dd8a9710e710afc2708c804184" ,
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],
"content": "{\"name\":\"helplessduck\",\"about\":\"I was once called the terror that quacks in the night and I'm damn proud of it.\\nMortal enemies: commas, typos, bigotry, fascism, asymmetry, ultra-processed foods. \\nCall me: He/Him/Michael/Arrogant Jackass.\\nNo particular order. \\n\\nFollow me for clever tricks, miserable advice, and pedantic tomfoolery. \\n\\nIf I post about politics, I assiduously tag with USPol.\\n\\nHeader Image: Black box.\\nAvatar: Adobe Firefly generated golden duck on a pond with a castle in the background.\",\"picture\":\"https://files.mastodon.online/accounts/avatars/109/274/803/388/386/359/original/91a73ba5565532d3.png\",\"banner\":\"https://files.mastodon.online/accounts/headers/109/274/803/388/386/359/original/4495d6729c1a4f76.jpg\",\"nip05\":\"[email protected] \",\"fields\":[[\"Location\",\"A little pond in the middle of nowhere.\"]]}" ,
"sig": "57fee9c3e8b1e0bba82144703899519e483df6a009fb91437608e7aabd300066637944aa60b15bb09cf1c7c641cbee389b3b8094f94d23fb5e22157f21f7ed5e"
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Last Notes npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…p0zq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…p0zq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…p0zq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…p0zq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Literal literary terrorist. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck If I weren't profoundly mentally unwell, I'd make an okay hotelier. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…2hrv @nprofile…kjwq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…kjwq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…qfwu npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck You gotta hit it like it owes you money. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…qfwu npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck 'Tis the way, Kevin. 'Tis the only way. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…2ylj @nprofile…e0ma npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…2ylj npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Once again I am headed to the capital today. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…2ylj npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Eew. Bob Vila shills for Home Depot now? Gross. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Yesterday it was bears. Albeit, bears that need rehab. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Big day for wolf pairs. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…ynep npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Goddammit satan's retailer... npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…pq9u npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…pq9u npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…pq9u npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…84u2 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck That oregano plant is far too big for it's britches. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…84u2 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…84u2 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…84u2 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…c85w npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…c85w npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Out here doin' nice things for people I don't even like. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…6zrx npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Solid/Cat/Liquid/Gas/Plasma. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck I'm not above bribery. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…pm0w npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…pm0w npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck My aunt Cathy: "I think I'm getting too old to keep doing Habitat for Humanity builds." npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Are there rules about who can join Beige? npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck *shoveling olives into my gob* npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…r5de npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…r5de npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck I really hope it's one of those recipes because none of them are complicated and I can just tell her "make your own damn strawberry soup, Mother." npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…fqeh npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…a79f npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Has anyone been on a Carnival (?) Cruise and had a fruit "soup" dish that they bring to the table and pour cream over? Mother wants me to see if I can make something similar, but it was over a year ago and she's not great at describing food things. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Final grades are in. Ya boy got straight A's again. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck I picked up some stuff from a local shop that roasts their own beans and it is really really good, but I think I'm enjoying the ritual more than the coffee itself. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Cursed image. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Don't explain it for me. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Cocaine Bear! npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck It's not a filet that flies to you? npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…472q npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Eastern North Carolina BBQ related violence is just as real as the dairy aisle-roaming housewives with switchblades. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck I am returned home at last. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…awh4 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Convinced mother to get a French Press for her cold-brew coffee because versatility. She's a fan. I brewed myself a single cup to demonstrate that versatility this morning, then I drank it. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck I will miss this morning's class. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…fcnk npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…fcnk npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Good morning, I'm glad to be high. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…fcnk npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck I forgot this was on the soundtrack to Stigmata. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…wjfe npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…wjfe npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…84u2 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck *gay shrieking* npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…qqp4 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…9fyy npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…9fyy npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Okay so it wasn't a polar bear, but worse. Either way, that's not the real monster. It's people. It's always people. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…p0zq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck I suck at therapy cranes. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…h3fe npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck It's nice to know I can still terrify people in absentia. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…args npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…p0zq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…args npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck This semester has been a nightmare. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…fwzy npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Of course she knows the Lord of the Flies. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Squirrelly lil' fella. Always wearing inappropriate shorts. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…p0zq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Scheduling a trip out of the country during exam week is definitely a flex for a student that must pass this course because it's a prereq for every damn thing under the sun. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…pu23 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck I thought peaches were Georgia's thing. What could they possibly know about peach cobbler in Texas? npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…tmxf npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…y7rq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck What the hell is Shein? npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck My stage name for tonight is Rowena Rochambeau. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Well hello, Impostor Syndrome, my old friend. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…z3y6 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…az4c npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck Humanity is wasted on humans. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…p0zq npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…472q npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck I wish I knew what that dragon was saying, but I don't speak Italian. npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…y63h npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck @nprofile…z3y6 npub17antjudtaemvg4uvvtqftptg7vl08wwa32t3pecs4lp8pryqgxzq4up37h helplessduck What day is this you ask?
