👹👻 boo-rit 👻👹

@britculpsapp.bsky.social (bsky)
@britculp (twitter)

views are my own; smarter & funnier than you

39 | MPLS

Public Key

npub1aze84dqs650hpuhuhvpewxxudapzxttvseahu7kn6s85llda4zvsg05ggl

NIP-05 Address

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsw3vn6ksgd28ms7t7tkquhrrwx7s3r94kgv7m70tfagr60lk763xgpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsyxn9zp

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relay.primal.net

nos.lol

relay.damus.io

Author Public Key

npub1aze84dqs650hpuhuhvpewxxudapzxttvseahu7kn6s85llda4zvsg05ggl

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Last Notes

2025-10-23 15:58:37 GMT

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for those unfamiliar or if it's been awhile:
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/424/301/432/638/234/original/8c5b6b93758b2314.png
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/424/303/582/763/551/original/175d6f7d4f32fc74.png

2025-10-23 15:57:21 GMT

RE: https://ohai.social/@brit/115423522589830225
in semi seriousness though -- it seems there's been a lot of people who've forgotten about the twitter thread from a few years ago regarding how to not get a nazi bar.
#note1eyz…mv7m

2025-10-23 12:39:44 GMT

ackshually, all of the tattoos i got while drunk from the sketchy balkan tattoo artist in croatia were tasteful & politically correct
skill issue otherwise 💅

2025-10-19 17:01:18 GMT

pov: it’s still locktober 😔
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/401/899/627/148/116/original/44da0ff706ad4cc4.png

2025-10-16 00:59:07 GMT

excuse me, i have some levity to share & it’s going to be a screenshot from bsky that includes a screenshot from twitter
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/381/122/675/802/320/original/1d2ee3c43c42d2d0.png

2025-10-15 17:43:36 GMT

bluesky is broken -- toot all your bangers here instead

2025-10-14 20:54:31 GMT

at some point i should probably be more mindful about not instinctively saying "ha, never forget that one" anytime a patient says they have a date of birth that's 9/11

2025-10-14 01:29:32 GMT

wait — wtf was world war 3 then??
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/369/923/464/269/946/original/22d12a00aa0064c5.png

2025-10-13 21:20:52 GMT

god i love people who are legit just bad at being trolls
cc: @npub1eul…zz7j
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/368/946/597/740/815/original/b3f8f6f5ff75eca1.png

2025-10-13 15:12:48 GMT

in minnesota, which originally is mni'sota makhóčhe (dakota for where the sky reflects on the waters), we get to observe & celebrate Indigenous peoples day instead of bitchtopher columbitch
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/367/491/529/162/434/original/0c9357444c2898e6.png

2025-10-13 14:06:31 GMT

bahahahahahahahaha
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/367/239/436/155/108/original/dd9a8427be7643eb.png

2025-10-13 01:43:28 GMT

it’s comforting to know that as life expectancy continues to decline, more of us have been middle aged longer for than we realized

2025-10-12 16:16:22 GMT

police: “drop ur weapon!”
me:
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/362/086/685/075/594/original/d6b83d8e19f75b25.png

2025-10-12 15:37:16 GMT

[muffled flapping & squelching sounds]

2025-10-12 12:12:03 GMT

just because i yell DEATH TO AMERICA everytime i cum doesn't mean i'm an "extremist"

2025-10-12 04:24:49 GMT

logging on to toot with the homies
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/359/289/959/882/484/original/b575bea0b87d2754.png

2025-10-11 22:56:20 GMT

my culture is not your costume
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/357/997/232/817/291/original/28641ed22c4afdb9.png

2025-10-11 18:36:21 GMT

“spurgling” (a portmanteau of sperm and burgling)
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/356/974/824/953/560/original/e4eacf18f929418a.png

2025-10-11 13:05:15 GMT

*hits vape*
god missed an opportunity by calling balls “testicles” and not “brovaries” [/sendtoot]

2025-10-11 02:13:24 GMT

RE: https://ohai.social/@brit/115353097412775065
the dude who created mastodon is now my union rep in the posters strike: bsky mutiny edition because he clicked on a starter pack i’m in today & that’s legally binding in my district (sovereign citizen) so continue the revolt, comrades 🦾😤
#note12um…3dyc

2025-10-11 02:09:41 GMT

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hey eugen; i’m a schrödingers sorry both retroactively & in advance
also, thank you for making this platform for the tech illiterate shitposters such as myself incredibly easy to navigate — we’ve been having fun over here this week
please don’t subject us to an elon to lowtax arc tho 🙏🥹 also, stay blessed homie

2025-10-11 00:28:53 GMT

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wait what part of your body do you call a garden fence?

2025-10-10 22:55:12 GMT

you can boof your drugs through basically any hole — naturally occurring or otherwise

2025-10-10 22:27:45 GMT

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after the doordash order with cheetos & cat food lands, i’m getting so much more violently stoned until i forget i even have a uterus or a sciatic nerve

2025-10-10 22:16:54 GMT

one of the other complete bullshit things about menses is it is a cause of sciatica flares & like goddamn just pick a struggle 😭

2025-10-09 22:52:25 GMT

mmmk, brit lore for some of the noobs (to me): 4 years ago i entered my young widow arc — like i work in a hospital & they just had to fuckin die where i work even
it’s taken some years to enjoy some of the songs we made weird memories w/ together & i’m smiling as i think back to the multiple times we were drunk in a mcdonald’s drive-thru at weird hours when the line was long & slow moving while dan *insisted* on this song on repeat for us to sing along after punk shows
https://open.spotify.com/track/0jdny0dhgjUwoIp5GkqEaA?si=46c7GL1cTpSq7Srzsp5I7w&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A6FdNvoO5sF4EKwCX9je1MH

2025-10-09 21:57:43 GMT

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some of the best things are built from spite

2025-10-09 21:32:27 GMT

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if you’re still active over there, reskeet to spite the mods lol
https://bsky.app/profile/britculpsapp.bsky.social/post/3m2s2w4idf22f

2025-10-09 21:28:45 GMT

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like at some point over time i amassed 22k+ followers on there & even my boring shit gets engagement more than this lol.
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/346/324/417/600/591/original/8b691b92264bb175.png

2025-10-09 21:24:50 GMT

bsky mods are shadow banning my skeets about tooting now 👁️

2025-10-09 20:25:24 GMT

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it’s a misspelling from the original post
back in like march of this year, a bsky user was fighting with a bunch of other people on the site, adding in various slurs & said he’d fight people in person. he essentially self-doxxed & turned out he lives in the same city as a few of us (minneapolis). i suggested this specific home depot for a fight since it was walking distance from his posted address. he later posted a pic of the home depot w/ “i’m here you fuckaas bitch”

2025-10-09 02:59:00 GMT

🎶 been spendin most our lives
tooting in a posters paradise 🎶

2025-10-09 01:13:24 GMT

hehe… nice :blobthinkcool:
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/341/548/588/291/117/original/b0579eeeddaa969e.png

2025-10-09 00:01:57 GMT

ngl, appreciate the masto-tooters who’ve made joining this site three days ago feel nearly seamless for posting — being able to jump in & hit the ground tootin’ had been cool for a lot of us who were unable to figure this site out a few years ago lol & the users here have been welcoming to the onslaught of poasters posting poaster posts
now it’s sunset balcony weed time 😌💨
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/341/251/006/555/032/original/52f18b5ce62e7275.png

2025-10-08 14:27:33 GMT

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“dog cum beer guy” WHAT

2025-10-08 13:51:17 GMT

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so here’s some examples of unhinged skeets from bsky that were essentially the result of people getting weirdly worked up about shit when arguing online:
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/338/863/171/133/090/original/f6987fdf7a9a11b7.png
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/338/863/309/847/593/original/2fabe120aec69662.png
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/338/863/416/273/309/original/4a991c7b8f035a19.png

2025-10-08 13:43:24 GMT

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okay and most of the louvre entries & copypastas were just unhinged replies from gen x or people who got so worked up they wanted to meet for a fight, not so much the nazis

2025-10-08 13:32:18 GMT

gm masto-tooters — is there a culture of preserving unhinged toots as copypastas over here? like on bsky we have classics like #fuckaas bitch and “you wouldn’t last three seconds in my mom’s vagina” for example. if we do preserve said toots for posterity, is there a specific hashtag or what’s the best way on here?

2025-10-07 01:38:39 GMT

okay still learning this site & the hashtags
testing: #cat #void
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/330/307/833/205/968/original/d30b3200b3d05a5f.png
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/330/308/035/694/780/original/a36c62c30d14dd72.png
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/330/308/240/882/121/original/5743eab657332b3f.png
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/330/309/660/598/662/original/67cddc9bdff2f789.png

2025-10-06 23:49:24 GMT

do y’all toot about sunsets and shit on here?
#sunset (idk if that’s how the hashtags work on here yet; it’s my first day)
https://files.ohai.social/media_attachments/files/115/329/892/600/435/630/original/b4e05f734c50bcb7.png

2025-10-06 16:22:04 GMT

follow-farming is largely unethical. our followers should be free-range & grass-fed, choosing their own fates.

2025-10-06 14:28:55 GMT

they’re banning all the funny people on bluesky; don’t worry, most of you over there should be safe at least 🥹