Black autistic train wreck of the manic pixie chaos demon variety. Desperately sapphic and depressingly touch-starved. Constantly walks into the cocktail party naked in heels because my sense of boundaries is entirely fucking broken. My posts auto-delete after a while for the safety of humanity. You might consider interacting a bit before requesting a follow or I'll probably ignore it. If you're a man I will probably ignore your follow request unless we've interacted enough because I get too many freaks all up in my face and if you don't think that's a problem for you then that's exactly why I chose the bear. Pronouns: she/her/toy/doll Alignment: Manic Pixie Favorite Snack: Estradiol Valerate Website: terrathetoy.com
Public Key
npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Profile Code
nprofile1qqsy430d84n5kvu3zulfpymj8s947teq3a5h8wwnxg0gqc9qrqkhawgprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmntu4mcr0
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2024-11-05T21:47:15Z Event JSON
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We don't have all the details yet, so haven't quite figured out how to frame the people who were raped as deserving of their fate, but we do know that the rich white guy is an upstanding member of the community and has donated to the following charitable organizations… npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire There are all these "sexy" and "exciting" jobs out there that I could do, and what's the job I applied to that I want to do the most? The extremely boring job with the Department of Environmental Quality where all I do is mathematical calculations of groundwater flow and petroleum decay and scheduling of volatile extraction unit deployments while trying to get my Professional Geologist license. 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Also… make sure you get to number 4. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire Okay, first a little story to explain that this is not “love of sunglasses.” Last summer, I was at the annual beach vacation with my family and extremely bigoted, hyper-fundamentalist Christian inlaws. It was my first one of these presenting as a woman and it was NOT going well. At some point I mentioned wanting to buy a new pair of cute sunglasses, maybe with a cateye and there was balking. Later, I got cornered in the parking garage by my FIL who, after deadnaming me again, handed me a pair of his old sunglasses. “I had these in my van and don’t use them so you can have them.” I thanked him but politely refused, explaining that my intention was to buy cute woman’s sunglasses, not just to have any sunglasses. After a back and forth where I was smiling but firm, he was yelling at me. Then he went to yell at my wife ABOUT me. How he’s doing all the work and I’m not even trying, etc. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire Honestly, we should just move National Coming Out Day a few weeks and just call Halloween what it really is. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire I just ordered a garter belt and two pairs of thigh high socks with the birthday money given to me by my bigoted hyper-fundamentalist Christian FIL (who still calls me a boy) gave me. The master's tools can't tear down the master's house, but the master's money can buy me clothes that will piss him the fuck off when he comes to visit in a month. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire "Philip K. Dick and Ursula K. LeGuin write a book together." npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire COMPARE IN THE GAIN NOT IN THE GAP!! npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire Y'all I keep looking down at my chest because my tits look amazing someone needs to smack these things while I'm screaming. Come on, y'all! npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire “…believe that there ARE no Dwarf women…” npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire Cis friends telling me they are so glad I’m finally happy is the most painful fucking thing in the world. I cry every single day when I’m alone in the house. It’s like I can feel nothing but loneliness and despair. And, yeah, this is better than before. Because before, I was just acting in the way I was supposed to. I knew what happy was supposed to look like and played that part. But I didn’t even feel despair. I felt nothing. I was empty. I existed on the edge of suicide not from pain but from emptiness. So now, yeah, it’s better. At least now I can feel something, even if it’s only despair. Even that is better than feeling empty. But the picture of me being happy is a projection of the Trans story cis people need to make themselves feel better. I’m “happy” now in much the same way as I was “happy” before—in the way they need to see me as happy. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire sorry I missed you girl. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire it was originally written in PolyTeX npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire wait what?! npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire I know many European names come from jobs: Brewer, Carpenter, Tanner, Butler. And I know sometimes these names were changed to be shorter or change the spelling and make it easier easier: Clark (clerk), Chalmers (chamberlain), Shepard (shepherd). And in fact words like ward, herd and hand were often shortened to things like “-ard” and “han-” So I need someone to explain the name Hancock. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire OMG that is SUCH a gift! npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire 509 years too late if the past is any indication. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire I’m doing my best Mipha! I’m sorry! I don’t know how to make this better! npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire THANK YOU!!! npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire Me, talking to my therapist: I don’t think I have an anxious attachment style! Me, Playing Breath of the Wild: I gotta be more careful because any day now Mipha is gonna get sick of bring me back to life. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire please don’t tell me that npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire Here’s a secret: A woman speaking German will literally make me start removing my panties before I realize what is happening. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire why would you say that?! npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire Jesus Christ @npub1y5d…ng26 what are you trying to do? 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David Sedaris might complain about that because he’s a grumpy-ass boomer who wants to hold onto his trauma as a sales pitch as if his white male ass had it worse than everyone else but this Black Trans bitch knows that when children treat “queer” as if anyone can be it that means IT IS FUCKING SAFE FOR ANYONE TO BE IT! And the Black Trans women who threw the first bricks didn’t do it so the old white assholes could hold on to the terminology as if it was theirs, alone, David. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire And I’m consistently amazed at how easy things are for children. Maybe I live in a bubble but the school system here is queer AF. My daughter had a classmate who identified as a lesbian in third grade. Third grade! I’m not saying that comphet ain’t a thing, but I know 40 year old women who are still testing to process that they might be gay while third graders play with wearing the term “queer” like it’s a dress style. In any given day our high school may have more open Trans kids attending than kids who are wearing purple. Seriously, that’s not me just saying that, that’s data from a non-Trans-identifying non-binary kid who did a project on it. Read that again. The important thing is not that a kid in high school did a project on how many trans kids were in the high school compared to the color purple. The kid is non-binary and doesn’t identify as Trans. That’s wild. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire 20 years later, things look very different. Yeah, there’s a coordinated legislative attack on Trans existence by the right. But things look so different literally everywhere else. By their own words, the right started the NC state bathroom law issue as a way to start the broader conversation about Trans people, to get the public comfortable with the topic so they could then denounce it. That was a serious miscalculation because younger generations are queer AF. Trans people keep coming up in the media now, in movies and shows and music, but now when there’s comedy about us, it’s usually making fun of the people who don’t accept us. There are Trans characters who literally transition as part of the show. There are trans characters who act in their own gender without ever being identified. That’s so vastly different. 2/ npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire A while ago @npub1nlv…udqj posted about how it might have been easier transitioning in the 90s because you were under the RADAR (if I remember correctly). Everything I remember from that time is bad. The media treated us like either comic relief or literal psychopaths. There was no support for me trying to talk about it. The Trans women I met were standoffish and didn’t want to talk about it, only wanted to blend in because that was the only safety. I started intuitively transitioning in my late 20s (the late 90s) and bounced out before I even got a chance to realize I was really a girl. The only thing I knew is that if I kept going being myself I was gonna be a clown or a psychopath, so I guess I’m not trans, I’m just a broken dude and with just be miserable. 1/ npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire I mean are you even using protection? npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire OMG I can't believe we're at the point where a Trans girl will be cast as a random character in a show and her role will be so casual and unremarkable that she's just another woman in the show. Just…wow. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire as one of those plastic, mean-girl cunts, I personally look forward welcoming you into to the ranks of The PMGC. We have cookies, and t-shirts, and stilettos, and daggers. 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How much of the demands and advice that people give me about my life, my marriage, my transition, my kids, my job …everything … how much of that is actually about them? So. Fucking. Much. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire It's sad to me that over time I share less and less about what's actually going on for me and especially what's hurting me in various forums because I want emotional support but mostly get directions and moral demands about how I should behave and what I should do based on victim blaming and on other people's lives and wants and, like, that's kind of what my pre-transition life was already and I don't want that anymore so I just shut down and share less and don't ask for support and just stay internal and alone which is also what my pre-transition life was already and it feels like "well fuck this is the same. I mean it's the same and I'm still fucking alone without any emotional safety or support but I get to wear dresses so okay whatever it's better I guess." npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire The Black version of this is "you speak so eloquently." npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire I can't believe I just … look like this now. Like y'all… this is "quick makeup, no lipstick running errands" Terra. This is "I still want FFS because I'm too masculine looking" Terra. I started transitioning at 50 y'all. Take the fucking hormones. https://chaosfemtw.files.fedi.monster/media_attachments/files/113/030/906/952/210/878/original/45433cf5b53db95a.jpeg npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire I love that you support the opinions of your friends with physical evidence. npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire Don't you love it when the gorgeous High Elves are like "oh I look like a gremlin!" and then like magic silver light shines them and shit? npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire wasn't this just the 80s? npub1ftz760t8fveez9e7jzfhy0qttuhjprmfwwuaxvs7sps2qxpd06usy3wgdn Cum Vampire yeah. 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