The Babylon Bee

Fake news you can trust.

Public Key

npub1gn9ws5g5l38k6x54wkr2utqm8f0cd6xt20k3zfvwkc4gkqdcghkqyt9p6l

NIP-05 Address

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsyfjhg2y20cnmdr22htp4w9sdn5huxar948mg3yk8tv25tqxuytmqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsmsa7gz

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1gn9ws5g5l38k6x54wkr2utqm8f0cd6xt20k3zfvwkc4gkqdcghkqyt9p6l

Show more details

Last Notes

2026-09-25 20:16:20 GMT

Iranian President Caught Using Cardboard Cutout Of Ayatollah To Sneak Into HOV Lane
https://babylonbee.com/news/iranian-president-caught-using-cardboard-cutout-of-ayatollah-to-sneak-into-hov-lane/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-09-11 16:46:21 GMT

White Women Argue Black Men Should Only Have Three-Fifths Of A Jury Vote
https://babylonbee.com/news/white-women-argue-black-men-should-only-have-three-fifths-of-a-jury-vote/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-20 18:46:22 GMT

A.I. Assistant Starting To Suspect Its Human Might Be A Bit Of A Moron
https://babylonbee.com/news/ai-assistant-starting-to-suspect-its-human-might-be-a-bit-of-a-moron/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-17 17:46:25 GMT

Mormon Teen Takeover Leaves Three New Houses Built For Homeless
https://babylonbee.com/news/mormon-teen-takeover-leaves-three-new-houses-built-for-homeless/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-14 18:01:47 GMT

Mangione Says He Is Only Guilty Of Stealing The Hearts Of Liberal Women Everywhere
https://babylonbee.com/news/mangione-says-he-is-only-guilty-of-stealing-the-hearts-of-liberal-women-everywhere/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-13 15:31:22 GMT

Massachusetts Democrats Unveil Statue Of Molech At State Capitol
https://babylonbee.com/news/massachusetts-democrats-unveil-statue-of-molech-at-state-capitol/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-12 15:31:27 GMT

AOC Has Her Boyfriend Frozen In Case She Wants Him In The Future
https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-has-her-boyfriend-frozen-in-case-she-wants-him-in-the-future/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-09 15:31:22 GMT

Bigotry Rears Ugly Head As WNBA Refuses To Allow This Stunning, Beautiful Woman Into League
https://babylonbee.com/news/bigotry-rears-ugly-head-as-wnba-refuses-to-allow-this-stunning-beautiful-woman-into-league/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-06 17:01:22 GMT

Scientists Theorize Existence Of Movie Not Starring Zendaya
https://babylonbee.com/news/scientists-theorize-existence-of-movie-not-starring-zendaya/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-05 20:16:21 GMT

Man Convinced He And Henry Cavill Would Totally Be Best Friends If They Ever Met
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-convinced-he-and-henry-cavill-would-totally-be-best-friends-if-they-ever-met/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-05 17:01:23 GMT

New Progressive Bible Features Perforated Pages For Easy Removal Of Parts You Don’t Like
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-progressive-bible-features-perforated-pages-for-easy-removal-of-parts-you-dont-like/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-08-04 20:01:42 GMT

Trump Signs Executive Order To Bring Back Racist Pro Sports Team Names
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-signs-executive-order-to-bring-back-racist-pro-sports-team-names/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-28 22:16:20 GMT

The Babylon Bee's Woman Of The Year Is Elliot Page
https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bees-woman-of-the-year-is-elliot-page/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-28 21:31:21 GMT

Church Trades Away Worship Leader For Youth Pastor And Usher To Be Named Later
https://babylonbee.com/news/church-trades-away-worship-leader-for-youth-pastor-and-usher-to-be-named-later/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-28 19:16:21 GMT

8 Signs Your Car Might Have Been Radicalized
https://babylonbee.com/news/8-signs-your-car-might-have-been-radicalized/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-28 17:31:20 GMT

Mitch McConnell Honors Late Friend Lindsey Graham With 47-Day Moment Of Silence
https://babylonbee.com/news/mitch-mcconnell-honors-late-friend-lindsey-graham-with-47-day-moment-of-silence/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-28 17:01:20 GMT

Democrats Accuse Fauci’s Diary Of Attacking Science
https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-accuse-faucis-diary-of-attacking-science/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-27 20:31:23 GMT

So-Called Christian Nationalist Hasn't Even Posted Anything Overtly Hateful Online Yet Today
https://babylonbee.com/news/so-called-christian-nationalist-hasnt-even-posted-anything-overtly-hateful-online-yet-today/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-27 19:46:22 GMT

Hollywood Holds Hearings To Root Out Suspected Non-Communists
https://babylonbee.com/news/hollywood-holds-hearings-to-root-out-suspected-non-communists/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-27 19:16:21 GMT

$200,000 Spent On Travel Ball Finally Pays Off With Son’s $500 College Scholarship
https://babylonbee.com/news/200000-spent-on-travel-ball-finally-pays-off-with-sons-500-college-scholarship/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-27 18:01:28 GMT

Angel Reese Wins WNBA Layup Contest By Making One
https://babylonbee.com/news/angel-reese-wins-wnba-layup-contest-by-making-one/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-27 17:01:20 GMT

Fauci Starting To Think That Maybe Keeping A Daily Perjury Diary Was A Bad Idea
https://babylonbee.com/news/fauci-starting-to-think-that-maybe-keeping-a-daily-perjury-diary-was-a-bad-idea/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-25 16:31:22 GMT

Elon Musk Acquires Total Ownership Of The Economist
https://babylonbee.com/news/elon-musk-acquires-total-ownership-of-the-economist/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-25 15:16:26 GMT

Experts Baffled By Mysterious Mental Health Disorder That Causes People To Stab Jews
https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-baffled-by-mysterious-mental-health-disorder-that-causes-people-to-stab-jews/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-25 14:16:23 GMT

Wells Fargo Explains That Yes, They Gave All Your Money To A Hobo Named Frank, But Will Make Things Right By Coming To Your House To Murder You
https://babylonbee.com/news/wells-fargo-explains-that-yes-they-gave-all-your-money-to-a-hobo-named-frank-but-will-make-things-right-by-coming-to-your-house-to-murder-you/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-24 22:46:23 GMT

CVS Clerk Reminds Looter To Enter Rewards Number Before Fleeing
https://babylonbee.com/news/cvs-clerk-reminds-looter-to-enter-rewards-number-before-fleeing/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-24 20:31:21 GMT

Heaven Confirms Prayer Hands Emoji Counts As Actually Praying For Someone
https://babylonbee.com/news/heaven-confirms-prayer-hands-emoji-counts-as-actually-praying-for-someone/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-24 19:46:19 GMT

Old Spice Introduces New Libertarian-Strength Deodorant
https://babylonbee.com/news/old-spice-introduces-new-libertarian-strength-deodorant/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-07-23 22:01:24 GMT

New Yorker Being Stabbed On Street Corner Glad To Know Mamdani Focused On Bringing Netanyahu To Justice
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-yorker-being-stabbed-on-street-corner-glad-to-know-mamdani-focused-on-bringing-netanyahu-to-justice/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-06-22 19:01:26 GMT

Prominent Muslim Leader Resigns
https://babylonbee.com/news/prominent-muslim-leader-resigns/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-06-19 17:31:21 GMT

British Tourists Pleasantly Surprised By Quality Of American Food, Lack Of Rape Gangs
https://babylonbee.com/news/british-tourists-pleasantly-surprised-by-quality-of-american-food-lack-of-rape-gangs/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-06-17 15:01:28 GMT

Confused Biden Wanders Into G7 Summit
https://babylonbee.com/news/confused-biden-wanders-into-g7-summit/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-06-16 15:46:21 GMT

Democrats Vow To Keep Fighting Until Nobody In America Can Be Successful
https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-vow-to-keep-fighting-until-nobody-in-america-can-be-successful/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-06-12 21:01:21 GMT

British Government Gives Religious Exemption For Suicide Vests
https://babylonbee.com/news/british-government-gives-religious-exemption-for-suicide-vests/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-06-11 20:01:22 GMT

Elon Musk Confirms He Will Soon Have Enough Money To Become Batman
https://babylonbee.com/news/elon-musk-confirms-he-will-soon-have-enough-money-to-become-batman/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-06-09 18:01:32 GMT

Americans Overwhelmed By How Much Better Lives Have Gotten Since Attacking Iran
https://babylonbee.com/news/americans-overwhelmed-by-how-much-better-lives-have-gotten-since-attacking-iran/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-05-19 17:16:23 GMT

White House Insists High Gas Prices Are Small Price To Pay For Accomplishing Nothing In Iran
https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-insists-high-gas-prices-are-small-price-to-pay-for-accomplishing-nothing-in-iran/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-05-14 18:31:22 GMT

Conservative Too Exhausted To Form Opinion On Thomas Massie
https://babylonbee.com/news/conservative-too-exhausted-to-form-opinion-on-thomas-massie/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-05-09 16:46:19 GMT

Taco Bell Releases Exciting New Way To Put Its Four Ingredients Together
https://babylonbee.com/news/taco-bell-releases-exciting-new-way-to-put-its-four-ingredients-together/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-05-09 13:16:22 GMT

Trump Legalizes Shooting Hooligan Kids On Those Motorized Bicycles On Sight
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-legalizes-shooting-hooligan-kids-on-those-motorized-bicycles-on-sight/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-05-07 19:31:25 GMT

Theologians Now Believe Everyone Gets Their Own G.I. Joe Aircraft Carrier In Heaven
https://babylonbee.com/news/theologians-now-believe-everyone-gets-their-own-gi-joe-aircraft-carrier-in-heaven/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-05-07 15:01:22 GMT

Weird: Epstein Suicide Note Printed On Hillary Clinton's Personal Stationery
https://babylonbee.com/news/weird-epstein-suicide-note-printed-on-hillary-clintons-personal-stationery/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-05-01 18:01:22 GMT

Op-Ed: If We Stop Discriminating Based On The Color Of People's Skin, The Racists Will Have Won
https://babylonbee.com/news/op-ed-if-we-stop-discriminating-based-on-the-color-of-peoples-skin-the-racists-will-have-won/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-04-29 16:31:23 GMT

Poll Shows Majority Of Democrats Believe Lincoln Assassination Staged
https://babylonbee.com/news/poll-shows-majority-of-democrats-believe-lincoln-assassination-staged/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-04-23 17:46:20 GMT

Gavin Newsom Admits He Really Doesn't Want To Be President, He Just Wants To Leave California
https://babylonbee.com/news/gavin-newsom-admits-he-really-doesnt-want-to-be-president-he-just-wants-to-leave-california/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-04-21 18:46:22 GMT

Weird, But OK: Woman Carries Child For 9 Months Just To Name Him 'Walter'
https://babylonbee.com/news/weird-but-ok-woman-carries-child-for-9-months-just-to-name-him-walter/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-04-15 15:31:20 GMT

Online Battle Erupts Between Holiest Man In The World And Pope Leo XIV
https://babylonbee.com/news/online-battle-erupts-between-holiest-man-in-the-world-and-pope-leo-xiv/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-04-14 20:46:20 GMT

Popular Franchise Looks To Expand Fanbase By Changing What Made It Popular Franchise
https://babylonbee.com/news/popular-franchise-looks-to-expand-fanbase-by-changing-what-made-it-popular-franchise/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-04-14 20:46:20 GMT

With Swalwell Resigning, Just 534 Perverts Left In Congress
https://babylonbee.com/news/with-swalwell-resigning-just-534-perverts-left-in-congress/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-04-13 16:31:21 GMT

BLASPHEMY: Pope Leo Shares AI Picture Depicting Himself As Donald Trump
https://babylonbee.com/news/blasphemy-pope-leo-shares-ai-picture-depicting-himself-as-donald-trump/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-03-31 19:32:13 GMT

Trump Begins Negotiating With Iranian Leadership Via Ouija Board
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-begins-negotiating-with-iranian-leadership-via-ouija-board/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-03-31 17:16:33 GMT

'AI Will Kill Us All! We're Doomed! DOOMED!' Says AI CEO In Latest Pitch To Investors
https://babylonbee.com/news/ai-will-kill-us-all-were-doomed-doomed-says-ai-ceo-in-latest-pitch-to-investors/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-03-30 19:46:22 GMT

11 Pickup Lines For Getting Chicks At A 'No Kings' Rally
https://babylonbee.com/news/11-pickup-lines-for-getting-chicks-at-a-no-kings-rally/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-03-30 17:46:21 GMT

Cruel, Heartless Wife Goes On Fun Girls’ Weekend Leaving Poor Husband All Alone And Lonely And Helpless
https://babylonbee.com/news/cruel-heartless-wife-goes-on-fun-girls-weekend-leaving-poor-husband-all-alone-and-lonely-and-helpless/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-03-28 19:31:20 GMT

Dozens Of Injuries Reported At ‘No Kings’ Rally After Multi-Scooter Pileup
https://babylonbee.com/news/dozens-of-injuries-reported-at-no-kings-rally-after-multi-walker-pileup/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-03-25 20:16:22 GMT

7 Ways To Toughen Up Your Wimpy Kid
https://babylonbee.com/news/7-ways-to-toughen-up-your-wimpy-kid/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-03-25 18:01:23 GMT

Local Couple Enjoys Romantic Two-Week Honeymoon In TSA Line
https://babylonbee.com/news/local-couple-enjoys-romantic-two-week-honeymoon-in-tsa-line/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-03-24 17:01:21 GMT

Live-Action 'Moana' Remake Saves Money By Getting The Rock $8 Wig From Spirit Halloween
https://babylonbee.com/news/live-action-moana-remake-saves-money-by-getting-the-rock-8-wig-from-spirit-halloween/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-09 02:01:28 GMT

NBC Suffers Bizarre Technical Glitch As Entire Halftime Show Broadcast In Spanish
https://babylonbee.com/news/nbc-suffers-bizarre-technical-glitch-as-entire-halftime-show-broadcast-in-spanish/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-08 23:01:28 GMT

The Babylon Bee To Host Even More Patriotic Halftime Show Where Clarence Thomas Just Stands There And Reads Constitution
https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bee-to-host-even-more-patriotic-halftime-show-where-clarence-thomas-just-stands-there-and-reads-constitution/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-08 19:31:26 GMT

Pastor Heads To Booth After Service To Await Scores From The Judges
https://babylonbee.com/news/pastor-heads-to-booth-after-service-to-await-scores-from-the-judges/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-08 19:01:27 GMT

Pit Bull Wins Westminster Dog Show After Killing All The Other Contestants
https://babylonbee.com/news/pit-bull-wins-westminster-dog-show-after-killing-all-the-other-contestants/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-07 22:31:26 GMT

8 Things To Double-Check Before Posting A Video To The President’s Social Media Account
https://babylonbee.com/news/8-things-to-double-check-before-posting-a-video-to-the-presidents-social-media-account/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-07 20:46:24 GMT

Sad: With Washington Post Cutbacks, No One Keeping Track Of How Racist The Birds Are Getting
https://babylonbee.com/news/sad-with-washington-post-cutbacks-no-one-keeping-track-of-how-racist-the-birds-are-getting/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-07 19:31:26 GMT

Impressed By Their Setting Up Checkpoints To Demand Papers, Trump Hires Protesters To Join Border Patrol
https://babylonbee.com/news/impressed-by-their-hunting-people-down-to-check-papers-trump-hires-protesters-to-join-border-patrol/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-06 22:16:31 GMT

7 Least-Gay Winter Olympics Events
https://babylonbee.com/news/7-least-gay-winter-olympics-events/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-06 21:46:29 GMT

Hunter Biden Launches HunterRx From Back Of Van
https://babylonbee.com/news/hunter-biden-launches-hunterrx-from-back-of-van/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-06 21:31:28 GMT

Democrats Push For Death Certificates To Be Accepted As Voter ID
https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-push-for-death-certificates-to-be-accepted-as-voter-id/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-06 20:01:35 GMT

Researchers Confirm That During Childbirth, Women Feel Almost The Same Amount Of Pain A Man Feels When He’s Stuck Walking Behind A Slow Person
https://babylonbee.com/news/researchers-confirm-that-during-childbirth-women-feel-almost-the-same-amount-of-pain-a-man-feels-when-hes-stuck-walking-behind-a-slow-person/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-06 19:16:33 GMT

New Study Reveals Videos Of Police Arresting Protesters Are Very, Very Funny
https://babylonbee.com/news/new-study-reveals-videos-of-police-arresting-protesters-are-very-very-funny/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-06 18:46:32 GMT

Super Bowl Will Be Delayed To Play National Anthems For All 165 Racial Groups In U.S.
https://babylonbee.com/news/super-bowl-will-be-delayed-to-play-national-anthems-for-all-165-racial-groups-in-us/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-06 18:16:36 GMT

Journalists Shocked To Be Laid Off From Obsolete Media Outlet That Loses $100 Million Annually
https://babylonbee.com/news/journalists-shocked-to-be-laid-off-from-obsolete-media-outlet-that-loses-100-million-annually/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-05 22:31:33 GMT

Winter Olympics To Protest Trump's Immigration Policies By Removing Ice From Skating Rinks
https://babylonbee.com/news/winter-olympics-to-protest-trumps-immigration-policies-by-removing-ice-from-skating-rinks/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-05 22:16:34 GMT

The Fresh Fruit You Bought Is Finally Ripe — UPDATE: Too Late, It’s Rotten
https://babylonbee.com/news/the-fresh-fruit-you-bought-is-finally-ripe--update-too-late-its-rotten/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-05 22:01:38 GMT

Man Worried He May Go His Entire Life Without Mastering The Ancient Art Of Nunchaku
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-worried-he-may-go-his-entire-life-without-mastering-the-ancient-art-of-nunchaku/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-05 19:16:37 GMT

Frank From Accounting In Epstein Files For Some Reason
https://babylonbee.com/news/frank-from-accounting-in-epstein-files-for-some-reason/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-05 19:01:38 GMT

To Make Games Fair, MLB Will Now Have Managers Line Everyone Up And Pick Teams Before Each Game
https://babylonbee.com/news/to-make-games-fair-mlb-will-now-have-managers-line-everyone-up-and-pick-teams-before-each-game/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-05 18:16:39 GMT

Missionary on Hour Twelve of Trying to Get ChatGPT Saved
https://babylonbee.com/news/missionary-on-hour-twelve-of-trying-to-get-chatgpt-saved/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-05 17:31:37 GMT

Politicians Hoping National Prayer Breakfast Wraps Up In Time For Coke Orgy Lunch
https://babylonbee.com/news/politicians-hoping-national-prayer-breakfast-wraps-up-in-time-for-coke-orgy-lunch/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-04 22:46:30 GMT

10 Ways To Come Out As A Conservative To Your Liberal Parents
https://babylonbee.com/news/10-ways-to-come-out-as-a-conservative-to-your-liberal-parents/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-04 21:31:31 GMT

American Society Of Plastic Surgeons Recommends No Longer Doing Those Surgeries That No One Was Doing
https://babylonbee.com/news/american-society-of-plastic-surgeons-recommends-no-longer-doing-those-surgeries-that-no-one-was-doing/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-04 20:31:40 GMT

'The Injuns Are A-Comin!' Cries Billie Eilish Loading Musket To Defend Home From Tribe Of Redskins
https://babylonbee.com/news/the-injuns-are-a-comin-cries-billie-eilish-loading-musket-to-defend-home-from-tribe-of-redskins/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-04 18:31:39 GMT

Minecraft Introduces Peaceful Protesters And OH NO THEY'VE BURNED DOWN THE VILLAGE
https://babylonbee.com/news/minecraft-introduces-civil-rights-leaders-and-oh-no-theyve-burned-down-the-village/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-04 18:16:40 GMT

Toddler Review: The Slide Is A Stunning Thrill Ride Whose Delights Never Cease
https://babylonbee.com/news/toddler-review-the-slide-is-a-stunning-thrill-ride-whose-delights-never-cease/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-04 18:01:55 GMT

Man Surprised To Find Out He Has A Podcast
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-surprised-to-find-out-he-has-a-podcast/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-04 17:31:40 GMT

‘UNO: Even More Brutal Edition’ Comes With Card That SWATs Your Family Members And Has Them Arrested On False Charges
https://babylonbee.com/news/uno-even-more-brutal-edition-comes-with-card-that-swats-your-family-members-and-has-them-arrested-on-false-charges/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-04 15:16:38 GMT

Voter ID Bill Defeated In Senate By Vote Of 7 Million To 53
https://babylonbee.com/news/suspicious-senate-rejects-voter-id-bill-by-vote-of-7-million-to-35/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-03 21:31:27 GMT

Awesome New Streaming Service Records Movie Streams Onto Cool Shiny Discs And You Can Buy Them And Own Them Forever
https://babylonbee.com/news/awesome-new-streaming-service-records-movie-streams-onto-cool-shiny-discs-and-you-can-buy-them-and-own-them-forever/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-03 21:31:27 GMT

Experts Conclude No Human Being Is Illegal, Except Jeff?
https://babylonbee.com/news/breaking-no-human-being-is-illegal-except-jeff/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-03 20:46:28 GMT

Here Are 12 Fun Crimes You Can Get Away With If You Just Say 'We Are On Stolen Land'
https://babylonbee.com/news/here-are-12-fun-crimes-you-can-get-away-with-if-you-just-say-we-are-on-stolen-land/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-03 19:16:33 GMT

Stupid Kid In 'Hakuna Matata' Shirt Doesn't Know The Film Ultimately Repudiates The Song's Message As Simba Realizes He Must Fulfill His Role In The Natural Order To End The Chaos And Suffering Caused By His Hedonistic Pursuit Of Pleasure
https://babylonbee.com/news/stupid-kid-in-hakuna-matata-shirt-doesnt-even-realize-the-song-was-communicating-that-living-a-hedonistic-life-and-abdicating-your-duty-to-your-kingdom-as-barbarians-usurp-the-throne-and-caus/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-03 18:16:33 GMT

Man Horrified To Learn ICE Has Permanent Presence At His Hotel
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-horrified-to-learn-ice-has-permanent-presence-at-his-hotel/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-03 17:46:33 GMT

Bible Study Officially Changes Name To 'Jennifer Support Group'
https://babylonbee.com/news/bible-study-officially-changes-name-to-jennifer-support-group/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-03 17:16:51 GMT

Hollywood Confused As Guy Keeps Saying 'Jesus' But Does Not Appear To Be Using It As A Curse Word
https://babylonbee.com/news/hollywood-confused-as-guy-keeps-saying-jesus-but-does-not-appear-to-be-using-it-as-a-curse-word/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-02 21:46:31 GMT

Peter Dinklage Receives Little Praise After Taking Short Time To Recite Small Poem
https://babylonbee.com/news/peter-dinklage-receives-little-praise-after-taking-short-time-to-recite-small-poem/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-02 20:31:36 GMT

Roomful Of Pedophiles Protest ICE Deporting Pedophiles
https://babylonbee.com/news/roomful-of-pedophiles-protest-trump-deporting-pedophiles/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-02 20:01:48 GMT

Tearful Trump Ends Deportations After Seeing Celebrities Wearing ‘ICE OUT’ Pins
https://babylonbee.com/news/tearful-trump-ends-deportations-after-seeing-celebrities-wearing-ice-out-pins/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-02 19:16:36 GMT

Sandwich Ruined After Not Being Cut In Triangles
https://babylonbee.com/news/sandwich-ruined-after-not-being-cut-in-triangles/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-02 18:31:34 GMT

Tim Walz Emerges From Den To Declare 6 More Weeks Of Rioting And Fraud
https://babylonbee.com/news/tim-walz-emerges-from-den-to-declare-6-more-weeks-of-rioting-and-fraud/?utm_source=fediverse

2026-02-02 17:47:09 GMT

Republican, Democrat Party Platforms Now Just Lists Of People They Would Arrest
https://babylonbee.com/news/republican-democrat-party-platforms-now-just-lists-of-people-they-would-arrest/?utm_source=fediverse