lieven

i write among other things // queer // neurodivergent // millennial // progressive // multicoloured // european // yes that is my mouth

musings: https://paper.wf/thisislieven

Public Key

npub1m9cezzdnfd38tdw6p68lgaa4frjvlr5tfa8muj876p22ymeghkgshr2lld

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsdjuv3pxe5kcn4khdqarl5w7653ex036957na7frldq49zdu5tmygprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmntfuwvmt

Publishing to

relay.momostr.pink

Author Public Key

npub1m9cezzdnfd38tdw6p68lgaa4frjvlr5tfa8muj876p22ymeghkgshr2lld

Show more details

Last Notes

2026-10-07 21:22:01 GMT

@npub1pce…geep
Some years ago I was hired for a project and came to work really close with one person. She and I got along and we would spend long days together focusing on our work but also connecting as people.
After a few months she asked me if I was autistic. I said no, which I thought was an honest answer.
I knew I am different but I am different in many ways. I knew I struggled in social situations but there was always another plausible reason (too). I knew I kept having to fight for things that no one else seemed bothered with.
For everything I could come up with an explanation that was not related to being neurodivergent. I had just never put the puzzle together and see the bigger picture.
I tried to let her question go but it wouldn’t let me. Why would she think this about me? Eventually I started looking things up online and it was eye opening. I recognised so much and pretty much self-diagnosed right there and then. She saw something I didn’t and whether or not others may have no one had ever voiced it.
Later I was formally diagnosed in two out of three countries (long story), but the one that didn’t is my home country where I lived at the time these questions arose. It was difficult to handle because they also couldn’t offer an alternative suggestion of what might be going on. It was all just my problem and for me to sort out on my own. That failure in support has caused some serious harm.
There’s a reason why I write about this today but I’m not sure I’m ready to share that yet, so instead here’s a question for anyone who wants to answer:
How did you discover you were autistic and how difficult has it been to find recognition and acknowledgement?
This question particularly applies to those of us who recognised their neurodivergence in adulthood but I welcome everyone’s thoughts.
#ActuallyAutistic

2026-10-02 07:31:16 GMT

- reply

Maybe I'm wrong but I think the point is more that babies aren't driven by greed, frankly don't know the concept, and as such it's not human nature but taught behaviour.
That said, greed is for the wealthy. For the rest of us it's simply called survival.

2026-09-21 06:45:42 GMT

If you're able to and they accept it, please make sure to throw some euros/krones/dollars/whathaveyou towards your instance.

2026-09-16 08:56:58 GMT

(I wrote this quickly and tiredly, forgive me any errors or typos)
Quite a few good things have been said. Some concrete, some sadly ambiguous and we have to see what may come from it. However, I focus more on form rather than content. I’m just not awake enough for anything else right now.
Ursula von der Leyen is not the most charismatic speaker, and that’s fine. She speaks clearly and, mostly, calmly and it’s not difficult to follow her. But she doesn’t rouse the crowd or the viewer and the words, rather than the tone, need to do the work. There’s a lot to improve and I would urge her team to look into this.
One sentence early on that stood out to me: “We have done a lot”. It doesn’t flow. Change it for example with “Look at what we have done!” makes it a moment.
Early on she also spoke about gold plating – how many people know what this is? (It’s when member states build upon EU legislation rather than adopting it as is, causing wildly different standards across the EU which makes it unnecessarily complicated to do things across borders). They have aggressively promoted the SOTEU, but if you want the people to be part of this you need to use language people understand.
There were announcements on quite a few plans, but in most cases ‘we will present it in some time’. Even if all the details aren’t there yet, give some content. A little more about where we’re heading would be a good thing. This is just vague and feels dead on (pre-)arrival.
Next came the blunt acceptance of what the tech bros have been saying about AI in recent days. While it bothered me it was just accepted as truth the larger issue here is that there will be plenty of people who do not know what she’s talking about.
She mentioned a few times that in Europe people come first and connected it directly to European values. The people aren’t feeling it. She needs to give examples to prove her point.
The speech was primarily in English but there was a sudden switch to German and later French as well. This is Europe, we speak many languages. I love that and love that she code-switches. However – people weren’t prepared and may not have had interpreter services switched on, ultimately causing them to miss a part of the speech. Had this been announced beforehand people could have anticipated (at least on online streams). The first interpreter gave an accurate translation, but it was as dry as could be. Perhaps find someone who can keep the flow going.
This, by the way, is one of the coolest things of the EU – the way we handle so many languages and the large incredible team of interpreters. This could be a way to highlight this but I fear it failed.
Personally I am not a fan of special guests. I feel it disrupts things too much but I also always feel highlighting a few people because they caught the spotlight also means ignoring all those equally worthy but who received less attention. It also feels very US American. I recognise not many share this point of view though and that people seek someone to rally around. It’s not an objection really, more a personal preference but I am probably the minority here.
Some other notes I actually wrote before the SOTEU:
This room, the Strasbourg hemisphere, just isn’t the right space for this. The way it’s laid out keeps people too far apart and even if the room is filled (considerably more so than last year) it does not feel alive. There’s no ‘we’re here together, as Europeans’, at least visually.
I would argue taking it to a different venue can do a world of good here. It could also offer more seats.
Get the national leaders to attend (perhaps move the whole affair to Brussels and do it the day before or after when the European Council meets – they’re already in town). This is our European moment and it needs to show unity, a signal that we are all in this together.
Some of the Commissioners were in the room but they should all be there.
Invite the leaders of candidate countries. Involve them.
Some more evocative language wouldn’t hurt. We need to rally around the Twelve Stars.
Here’s a big one: Change the bloody time.
09:00 CET is insanity. You want people to watch? Maybe not do it when everyone is just getting their day started and busy with a thousand other things ( or barely awake, like me).
19:00 CET seems a nice time, across the EU that’s between 18:00 and 20:00 – neither too early nor too late. With future expansion the latest will be 21:00.
And change the name. Call it whatever but not a copy of the US. Be European and proudly so.
Encourage traditional media across the continent to make mention of it, before and afterwards. Don’t tell them how to report about it, just ask them to help it become known. People don’t know it’s happening, no matter how much on socials.
@npub1m96…ag4y
#SOTEU #EU #EuropeanUnion

2026-09-06 19:55:04 GMT

- reply

We don't. Doesn't change the fact we should be able to. It's their job to protect us and advance the common interest of its people.
@npub1vs3…kl0n

2026-09-06 18:29:42 GMT

When it comes to the shutdown of Autistici/Inventati we really should reserve most of our anger for our leaders right here in Europe. They allowed this to happen.
Sure, the US government is beyond evil and before that, optimistically, merely problematic. But they only hold this power over Europe and European companies, initiatives and whatnot because we've allowed for it. That's on us.
The shutdown of A/I saddens me but it is also the only reasonable choice they had and they should be commanded not wanting to cause harm to their users.
Europe needs to do better. Today. There's absolutely no reason for us to be in this embarrassingly submissive position.
@npub1vs3…kl0n

2026-09-04 14:32:06 GMT

- reply

I really want this to become a reality. The European train network, if functioning well, is one of the things we can and should take pride in (and use).
Is there a proposed time line?

2026-09-03 10:47:58 GMT

Zack Polanski is running for Starmer's seat!
I so hope he wins. It's a lil' risky but he had to go for it.
#ZackPolanski #London #UKPol #GreenParty #UKGreens

2026-09-02 22:17:18 GMT

- reply

I have two methods when I need to sleep and can't because of whatever is going on or the doom planning. Don't know if it works for you but perhaps worth a try. I am perpetually stressed out and an insomniac, yet most of the time at least one of them works for me.
1) The same audio book. I use Alice in Wonderland despite being sick of it. Pick whatever but a book you know and gives you zero surprises. Every time the same one. You both listen and are completely bored. Somehow this does wonders.
2) The perfect scenario. Again, this is about repetition and zero surprises but this time in your head. Create a scenario that makes you happy but not excited and play it out in your mind. A short story with a simple narrative. Mine involves a meadow, a rainbow and a teddy bear. Add a lot of detail. Sounds, scents, the way something moves. This forces my mind to focus on something else and I tend to fall asleep quickly.
3) Ok, I said two but this one has worked as well a few times. There's an album called Sleep by Max Richter. It's beautiful and genuinely lives up to its name. It's over 8 hours and designed to aid sleep. I'm not into this kind of stuff but love Richter's other work and so I gave it a try. There's actual neuroscience behind the album.
@npub1srn…mc23

2026-08-28 22:45:57 GMT

- reply

I would love to understand where the fediverse is actually vulnerable.
I am nowhere near an expert on this but part of the fediverse is European and I guess it depends where the actual infrastructure is located and/or which company may host it.
The other part of course may be whether or not European politicians decide to go along and do whatever the US tells them to do - which, sadly not that unlikely. Especially Germany presents a risk here.

2026-08-25 19:18:28 GMT

Dolly was a good one.
https://www.billboard.com/culture/pride/dolly-parton-tennessee-anti-trans-laws-1235462074/
#DollyParton #TransgenderRights #LGBTQ
https://s3.c.im/media_attachments/files/117/157/748/052/828/120/original/6a2d43b441b1d104.png

2026-08-12 14:50:29 GMT

- reply

I really think the only long term solution out of this hellhole is education. Probably not through the system because that's a joke but people need to learn what the issues actually are, who causes them and what solutions can be. They need to understand the power of collective action and the power of unity with those who do not cause you harm. And, people need to learn how to pull apart the narratives spun by the media, corporate figures and politicians alike.
It's a massive task with everything stacked against it but not an impossible one. It is just going to take everything we got, and we've gotta keep at it for quite a few years. Luckily, some solid foundations are being laid down as we speak as people are slowly waking up and, particularly relevant for the US, people are starting to look beyond their borders and see what is possible.
For the short term - I see no other way other than a general strike and boycotts. Deny those with power the money and the narrative. And, taking this away means that people with power (the corporate world) will demand better from the others with power (politicians) - it may be the only way to get change.
To get this done, however... I don't see it happening. Somehow the narrative isn't 'as bad as it is now it will only get worse if we do nothing' doesn't resonate and instead people think 'as bad as it is now it will be worse if I don't play along'.
I am speaking from the EU. Our situation isn't quite as severe as it is in the US, that does not mean it's not really bad here either. We need global change, and we need to accept that maybe 'the west' isn't all it's cracked up to be.

2026-08-08 21:17:47 GMT

- reply

I just don't understand how this is the gazillionth example of something that's forced into the world, we all know it's bad for us, our leaders know it too, and yet...
Honestly, wtf are we doing?

2026-08-06 23:08:33 GMT

- reply

Genuinely, I think this is flawed thinking. Sure, the dems won't shoot people in the streets but do you think they do any less deportations? The vast majority of Trump policies Biden kept in place. On the middle east, the cuddling of corporations, the denial of worker's rights - there's virtually no daylight between the parties.
Have you seen how the dems have backtracked on transgender rights?
Why is no one standing up to Fetterman?
Schumer? Jeffries? Where the fuck is their opposition, other than sternly written letters?
Sure, where the republicans are beyond evil the dems are merely evil. But that just isn't good enough, or even remotely acceptable.

2026-08-06 22:48:04 GMT

- reply

I believe about a third of eligible voters in the US don't vote? That number is insane and if you can activate that it's a game changer.
Big part of that group are young folk but they vote when they have an exciting candidate to vote for. And I can't really blame them they won't otherwise when every time the vote is for an establishment candidate things stay stagnant at best.

2026-08-06 22:37:47 GMT

- reply

Of course, voting is important. There's a reason they're trying to exclude more and more people from voting (which - insanity).
The system needs to be undermined. I can't think of another effective way of doing that, beyond getting the right people into office, than a general strike. But I agree the US people don't seem to have it in them.
I don't know how to fix that.

2026-08-06 22:29:40 GMT

- reply

I mean, Taco Bell is kind of out of the picture at the moment, no? Perfect moment for a strike.
And I'm sorry but I don't think voting is the answer. You can get a few good people in if you're lucky but it's nowhere near enough to create actual change. The system is completely dysfunctional and there are two bad parties in charge working hard to keep it that way.
Voting alone won't change that.

2026-08-06 22:14:18 GMT

- reply

I genuinely think the one way out right now is a general strike (not a lovely No Kings every few months on a Saturday).
There's no scandal that's bringing Trump down, but make all the rich dudes lose their money will be a different story.
I recognise there's a lot of risk involved, especially with poor labour rights and your health insurance tied to work and all that but action comes with risk.
Ask the Civil Rights Movement, the Gay Rights movement, the Suffragettes, etc.
You have to hit them where it hurts. Trump listens to people with money. You have to hurt them (not physically, obviously).
That said, the fact that there hasn't been a general strike already - given everything that has happened recently - makes me doubtful it ever will.
On the other hand, only one person has to start.

2026-08-06 22:03:51 GMT

- reply

I've followed US politics closely since the Obama era (though taking a step back to preserve my sanity these days) and if I am being blatantly honest I just don't see it happening.
A lot of US Americans seem to think Trump is the aberration rather than a moment that has been building for decades. You don't have a functioning democracy, but that's also not a recent thing. The Democrats completely fail to meet the moment (other than the DSA aligned politicians, but establishment dems are working hard against them). I hear so many Americans still proclaiming they're the best country in the world even though you never was and certainly aren't now. You wrote navel-gazing a few comments back - it's a very big problem.
And another side of the problem is that much of the world fails to treat the US as it deserves to be treated currently.
I can go on and on.
I think the most realistic scenario is the fall of an empire but no idea what comes after that. The land mass is still there and so are the people.
My best plan is to help the US build the wall on the southern border and build one to the north as well. Not to keep people out but to keep people in. Then ship all the good people to Europe while we ship all our bad ones to the US.

2026-08-06 21:43:44 GMT

- reply

No basement but if you can ignore the weird historic connotations I do have an attic?

2026-08-06 21:36:14 GMT

- reply

And yes, something solid so this cycle ends would be nice.
On my end my hope is with the EU in this regard. The union is not doing too great at the moment but I think for Europe it's the best shot we have for solid protections across the continent.
As for the US...bit of a different story.

2026-08-06 21:34:04 GMT

- reply

The basic idea of the movement is sort of in the name. What stands out to me with that movement is the unexpected alliance and that neither side was fully on board initially but they linked arms and became strong together. It exists to this day.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbians_and_Gays_Support_the_Miners
There's also a fun movie about it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride_(2014_film)
We did have two world wars between the Gilded Age and the civil rights and workers movements...

2026-08-06 21:27:38 GMT

- reply

Literally took out the trash about an hour ago.
I am not a historian but the worker's movements of the 50s/60s in the west seem to have been a unique event that really changed things? Not sure there's a comparable movement before that.
Yet, that movement is struggling to come together this time.
Are you familiar with Lesbians and Gays support the Miners?

2026-08-06 21:20:05 GMT

- reply

I am just really struggling with the past 25 years or so. Basically everything so far this century.
There was genuine progress on so many levels. Sure, there was a lot of bad happening too and the progress was primarily in what was 'the west' (outdated term by now). It was also a tortured form of progress as it was tied to capitalism which was never a good thing but in regards to human rights we genuinely moved forward. Attitudes still had to catch up in many places, but still.
But then, over the last decade, it all started to reverse again. I really did not see this coming, and as someone who belongs to multiple minorities it really really worries me.
I understand the sentiment behind it, and it has massive ties to capitalism and how that ruined everything, but there's a very big level of stupidity here as well. And it's getting worse.

2026-08-06 21:11:29 GMT

- reply

My worry is that we have a bit of a deadline, more so than before.
And, in the meantime, there is so much unnecessary suffering which I just can't stand. Always the same groups are targeted, which makes the wait really, really tough. Especially as we're waiting for those who typically do not bear the brunt.

2026-08-06 21:08:14 GMT

- reply

We're just too focused on all the bs of the moment and not the actual patterns - it's really quite infuriating.
Slowly people seem to wake up, there really is something happening across the world, but nowhere near the speed it needs to go and quite a few have the wrong solutions in mind.

2026-08-06 20:58:10 GMT

- reply

Lately my anger no longer goes towards the evil, fucked-up-in-denial, people. They will always exist but on their own they can do little harm.
My problem is with the enablers, politicians first and foremost. Though there's significant overlap between those groups.
I'd argue that's a far bigger cause of our suffering.

2026-08-06 20:51:12 GMT

- reply

It's really a fucked up variant of Dunning-Kruger

2026-08-04 10:10:18 GMT

- reply

Begrudgingly I compliment you on your meme game this time.
This is good.

2026-08-01 15:46:38 GMT

Right. Introduction post.
It’s a little complicated (and probably too long and too much).
I’ve been lieven for a few years now but it’s not my actual name. My real name is that rare I can find only about 5 people with the same name in the world (but none with the same spelling). Seemingly I’m the only one in Europe, at least in modern times.
That’s what happens when you choose your name with care and take a few years to find it. My previous name was also rare though shared with a famous cartoon (not intentional). There’s a story why that name became history too. Maybe one day I’ll share.
The name originally given to me came alongside a traumatising religious event by the two people who ended up abusing me until I was removed from the home at 13 and those two eventually had a judge revoke their parental rights.
I take a lot of pride in the person I’ve become – me. It was not easy to get here. At the same time, there’s still a lot of lingering trauma and I’ve yet to find my tribe.
As an outspoken queer neurodivergent mixed-race writer who consistently writes about society’s errors and highlights the lives of the vulnerable among us I’ve made a lot of enemies and have seen a lot of violence.
I’m an activist who doesn’t hold up a protest sign but a mirror.
Proud as I am of my identity, I am also deliberately anonymous online. Not by choice, but for my safety. I hope you understand.
That said, I am very much human. Too human, at times.
I care and am fiercely political. Given my identity I have no choice. I wish more people cared.
Beyond all that, I mentor queer youth. I am a storyteller and help others tell their stories. I am an artist who works primarily online, with text; sound and sometimes animation.
I build pretty little confrontational worlds.
I have a diverse professional background and am occasionally hired to do other things as well. Sometimes you just need the money.
I’m a millennial but I’ve come to the conclusion linear time no longer serves me.
If I am not online I am probably working out, reading or sleeping.
I’m barophobic but that’s only sensible.
Want to seduce me? Contemporary art, politics, music, sustainability, interior design, fashion and empathy turn me on. As long as you make an effort and don’t just go for the easy and the obvious.
The fediverse seems a nicer, better, place to be. I’m glad I’m finally here.
#introduction #lgbt2sqia #lgbtq #queer #writer #art #artist #story
https://s3.c.im/media_attachments/files/117/020/975/629/870/304/original/bdd1a444ab4fd995.jpg

2026-07-27 12:06:24 GMT

- reply

I'm struggling with this one. Born in the EU (well, a predecessor technically but still) I strongly see the benefits for all member states.
At the same time, the EU is consistently failing to live up to its own standards, does not treat all member states equally and moves ever further to the right.
The next few years, especially 2029 with its European elections and a new (?) Commission President, will be crucial. There is a chance things take a turn for the good, people are tired of the same old same old. But, that might also be a turn for the worse. Upcoming national elections will be indicators.
Yet, I dearly hope Iceland votes 'yes' - as you said it's reopening talks, not quite joining the EU, and I think that can be meaningful for both Iceland and the EU. It may well help force the EU to change course, and make it (more) attractive for Iceland to join.