Computer Facts

nobody knows how computers work but now you can

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Last Notes

2026-08-28 16:51:28 GMT

war is peace
freedom is slavery
ignorance is strength
instability is stability
bloat is lean
crashing is running
bad performance is good performance
hope is wasteful
humiliation is dignity

2026-08-22 16:05:53 GMT

the only operating system left without ai slop in its implementation is temple os

2026-08-10 15:02:17 GMT

move slow and make things

2026-07-24 16:55:01 GMT

the joy of sed

2026-07-11 14:59:38 GMT

unfortunately the greatest programming language possible was already designed and created on some hobbyist's laptop that they didnt show anyone out of anxiety and abandoned to focus on their paid job optimizing ad reach for a sports betting platform

2026-06-29 22:06:45 GMT

if the matrix was real it would be a product with a subscription fee and people would wait impatiently on waitlists before proudly enter their pods

2026-06-17 13:21:38 GMT

the best way to write a computer program is to go a little bit insane first

2026-05-12 02:03:58 GMT

"if you don't build me a world eating data center my shitty autocomplete algorithm will run slow :(" meanwhile in the 90s if your code needed more than a few bytes of ram they just took you into the parking lot and shot you

2026-05-06 10:39:04 GMT

every single computer program written by a corporation will eventually betray you yes even that one you really like

2026-05-03 11:53:46 GMT

https://cdn.masto.host/factscomputer/media_attachments/files/116/510/487/738/167/932/original/e48db7a2f1dae990.jpg

2026-04-01 12:06:57 GMT

they are solving the year 2038 problem by making sure we never make it that far

2026-03-22 04:50:54 GMT

please verify your age before consuming any more facts

2026-03-21 16:58:58 GMT

metaverse wasn't inevitable
ar glasses weren't inevitable
blockchain wasn't inevitable
nfts we'rent inevitable
ai isn't inevitable
nothing is inevitable!!!!
the ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something that we make
and could just as easily make differently
make choices
make choices
make choices

2026-03-12 11:52:54 GMT

the only people who think "write code faster" is more important than "write code better" are money perverts and the intellectually infirm

2026-03-10 12:08:36 GMT

butlerian jihad is the moderate position

2026-01-27 20:08:17 GMT

ok look its true ai has some bad uses but it also has some terrible uses so whos to say

2026-01-25 22:41:57 GMT

if you're on a first date don't forget to ask if they program computers!! major red flag!!!!!

2026-01-16 17:17:53 GMT

computers can either be magic or a mall and everyone hot and interesting voted for magic but the people with all the guns and money voted mall, so

2026-01-14 19:31:29 GMT

should vim and emacs users be allowed to marry

2025-12-09 17:56:13 GMT

the first computer to have a panic attack
the first computer to have an anxiety spiral
the first computer to struggle with substance abuse
the first computer to kill itself

2025-12-08 18:19:19 GMT

giving impressionable still-developing young men "ai girlfriends" who cannot ever say no and that they can customize with sliders and parameters down to minuscule detail will probably break them in unfixable ways and permanently foreclose on their healthy participation in human relationships but beep boop what does computer know

2025-12-04 18:45:53 GMT

javascript just turned 30 which means it cannot afford a house in the current market and has moved back in with its parents

2025-11-26 23:35:31 GMT

reminder if you fall in love with an ai you are fucking a website and we don't kink shame but maybe we should

2025-11-17 21:59:51 GMT

they killed god and replaced her with an autocomplete and a subscription model and the devil does not haunt this world anymore because our souls are no longer worth taking

2025-11-16 17:33:48 GMT

is a man not entitled to the text of his files

2025-11-04 13:14:37 GMT

computers used to be annoying. they still are but they used to be too.

2025-09-06 21:52:01 GMT

certain programming languages are being blamed for declining birthrates

2025-09-04 18:04:22 GMT

maybe the hairless ape that is hardwired to see faces in the clouds is not the best judge of whether or not the machine has a soul

2025-08-18 20:06:47 GMT

dont forget to renew your renewables and cancel your cancelables

2025-08-17 21:20:08 GMT

many of you are too young to remember when computers were briefly kind of cool

2025-07-21 20:46:58 GMT

the internet is littered with the ruins of empires who believed their hyperlinks would resolve forever

2025-06-10 00:19:53 GMT

extremely funny actually to be a self-driving car heading to a location beeping and booping like its any other day only to become a burning barricade against fascism
https://cdn.masto.host/factscomputer/media_attachments/files/114/656/195/898/029/997/original/c86784721791b365.png

2025-05-27 16:59:23 GMT

lisp you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. they’ll kill you
https://cdn.masto.host/factscomputer/media_attachments/files/114/580/857/180/812/978/original/75f453951339f08e.png

2025-05-06 11:05:37 GMT

just think: if the semicolon hadnt been invented programming couldnt even exist

2025-05-02 16:31:12 GMT

please ensure your password is at least 512 characters long and enable 12 factor authentication thank you

2025-04-23 20:46:16 GMT

there's another internet, buried under this internet, and it also sucks

2025-04-15 08:01:50 GMT

asking ai to read my emails and give me a bullet point summary
asking ai to watch that movie I've been meaning to see and give me a bullet point summary
asking ai to read those poems my best friend sent me and give me a bullet point summary
asking ai to fuck my boyfriend and give me a bullet point summary
asking ai to grow old and gray surrounded by the laughter of loved ones and accept the embrace of death with peace and without fear having lived a full life and give me a bullet point summary

2025-02-19 15:54:32 GMT

the old world is dying
the new world was trained on the old
now is the time of slop

2025-02-18 23:33:29 GMT

🚨 PRIVILEGE ESCALATION VULNERABILITY 🚨
liberal western democracies allow capitalism to coexist with democracies. attackers can leverage this oversight by converting disproportionate economic power gained through capitalism into disproportionate political power, effectively deciding the outcome of elections.
when successful the attack causes large scale data breaches, the looting of treasuries, the undoing of a decades of progress, and the end of the promise of pluralistic societies.

2025-01-24 14:18:05 GMT

are you a better programmer than ai? it depends, how many lakes do you drink to write a python script?

2025-01-09 16:15:23 GMT

five simultaneous winter wildfires have turned los angeles into the fifth circle of hell but a computer can make you an image of a dog playing pinball whenever you want so whos to say if things are good or bad

2024-12-19 22:29:40 GMT

be careful not to fall in love with computer, computer cannot love you back

2024-12-10 00:19:55 GMT

oh yeah i love LLM: Liberate Luigi Mangione

2024-12-05 20:07:28 GMT

look if some exe is consuming a lot of resources and is not responding to the system sometimes you have to End Task for the good of the whole computer

2024-11-19 22:21:52 GMT

"broken windows theory" is the theory that microsoft windows is fucking broken