Certified Life Coach Heal from narcissistic abuse and move forward with your life!❤ I love coaching and helping people. Schedule a consultation through the link.
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Published at
2023-05-14 23:16:37 Event JSON
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Last Notes npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists will give the excuse of past abuse or a hard childhood as a justification for mistreating others. No matter what you've gone through, it's never an excuse to mistreat someone else. We all choose how we treat everyone else! #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissist live in an illusion they suck you into, which then distorts our reality. This makes it very hard to see the truth of the relationship. Find people outside who see through this illusion to help you see the truth. They are out there and they want to help. Allow them to. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists train and shame us into silence about anything happening in our relationship. The worse things get, the harder it is for us to say anything about what's going on. Breaking this silence is often essential for us to see the truth of what's actually happening. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller When we are in the moments of struggle it's hard to remember that we've made it through all the hard things so far. We can make it through all the hard things in the future too. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists will share things with you to get you to open up about everything in your life. They remember everything and will begin using it against you in and after the relationship. Share things slowly in new relationships. They don't need to know everything now. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Nothing is ever enough for narcissists. They will demand it and rage when they don't get it. No matter how much you give they will always demand more. It's not going to change. We must learn to give to ourselves first. It's not easy, but it's the only way forward. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Anger is part of the healing process. It’s good when we get angry. We should be angry about being abused. We don’t want to stay there, but we need to let it out so we can move forward with our lives. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists have been working and learning their entire lives to hide who they really are and control everyone else around them. The more we heal and the healthier we are, the easier it is to see behind the curtain. It also becomes easier to focus on ourselves than their "show". #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller We can't save anyone else. We can help them to see the truth of what's happening if they are open to seeing it. Pushing too hard usually just further isolates them. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Everyone gets to have a bad day or moment. When it becomes a pattern of mistreatment, that's abuse. No one deserves that. There is no justification for it and they don't value you. We all deserve people in our lives that value us. Find these people and let go of the rest. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Most all of the things we want in our lives is all on the other side of the emotions we don’t want to feel. Just like everything, it takes work. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. It’s also not as hard as our minds make us think it is. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists study and catalogue everything that triggers us. Then they will use every single thing they know to push us until we react. They won't stop until we react. When we react, they will shame us and blame us for our reaction while they play the victim. This is abuse!! #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists will use you and everyone else they can far beyond what anyone has to give. Then they’ll demand more. When we can’t give them what they want, they find someone else that will. It isn’t right, but it’s the truth. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller We often try to figure out how to get the narcissists in our lives to love us. The reality is they will never love anyone including themselves. We must learn to give ourselves the love we deserve. We all deserve this love and we can learn to give it to ourselves. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Doing the work of healing is not just so we can feel better. It’s also so we don’t take unhealthy reactions and coping mechanisms into our healthy relationships. Do the work so you can leave all the hurt behind you. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists control feels like they have strings connected to every aspect of our lives. Every string of control we cut is a piece of our life that we take back. This isn't easy. Acknowledge every string you cut. You are literally taking your life back one string at a time! #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists aren't going to pay for anything they don't absolutely have to. Sometimes even court ordered. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller My MacBook pro is dead apparently. Not quite 2.5 years of babying a high end product just to have it completely die on me. I suppose I should have had apple care, but I also figured with such a premium product that I wouldn't have any trouble with it. Especially since I took such good care of it. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Many of us think that if we could just do or say the right thing we could get the narcissist to change or grow up. This will never happen. If they ever change anything, it will be to better abuse or manipulate us. Because they refuse to change anything unless it benefits them. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It's not logical someone would take joy in hurting others. Unfortunately narcissists enjoy watching us suffer. It's not right or ok, but it's true with most of them. You do not need people like this in your life. Find people who celebrate you, not your suffering. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller There’s a big difference between narcissists and assholes IMO. One of the main differences I see is that assholes actually do care about people even though most of the time they try to avoid looking like they do. Narcissists try to pretend they care, but actually don’t. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists don't usually give an actual apology. It's always something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way" or something similar. The only possible exception is if it will make them look good to other people. If it doesn't seem sincere, it's probably not. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Being in a healthy relationship can feel scary and set off all of our alarms. This is partially because we’re used to the calm before the storm. In healthy relationships there is never the same kind of storm though. It takes time to get used to a new level of peace. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller No matter what anyone says. There is never a any reason for someone to abuse another person no matter what! The only acceptable response is to own what they've done and stop repeating the behavior. Anything less is a continuation of the abuse. This is never ok. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Many of us thought we had found the person of our dreams. Instead we learned that our survival depended on us learning about narcissists and how to survive these relationships. Allow yourself to forgive yourself for not seeing it until you did. It was still real for you. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists literally use exhaustion as a tactic to control and manipulate you. The more exhausted you are the harder it is to think clearly which keeps you off balance and in their control. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller They may not be directly abusive. They could simply be neglectful and unavailable. It doesn't even necessarily mean they are a narcissist. It also doesn't mean that it's not abuse. Neglect is abuse. It's still harmful, it just looks different than other abuse. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Sometimes the only thing we can do is to move forward one small step at a time. Letting go of people we care about, who should or could be supporting us is a horrible thing to go through. Many times there is simply nothing we can do to change their mind. The choice is to stay stuck where we are, or move forward even if it’s small steps. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists create drama and use our reactions against us. Being OK is often survival of these relationships. After getting out, it's important to begin acknowledging the way we actually feel to ourselves and those we trust. This allows us to process and release these emotions. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The sooner we accept that narcissists are the way they are, the sooner we can actually focus on what matters. Moving forward with our lives and focusing on ourselves and the people who truly matter. Not accepting this keeps us stuck and that’s what they want. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The good news about taking this masterclass is after you've done the work of healing you may never need to take this class again. If you do, the chances are it will be a much shorter class than the first time and you'll heal much quicker with less effort. This, unfortunately, is the only good news about this class. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The chaos we learn to live with in narcissistic relationships is not easy to undo. It takes a lot of work to be able to accept and embrace the peace that we actually want. In many subtle ways we end up creating our own chaos because the peace is dysregulating. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists act and treat us like anything we ask for is too much. Just because they are unable or unwilling to give to us doesn't mean we need to settle for it. Never settle for someone who is unwilling to reciprocate the love, effort and support you give them. You deserve more! #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller A glimmer of hope is the best you’ll ever get out of a relationship with a narcissist. Things may be a little less or more bad, but never get better. Don’t future fake yourself into staying for longer than you absolutely have to. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It's not easy to learn to set boundaries for yourself, especially after someone has walked on, abused and broken every one you had. It is something that's possible for all of us to learn. Be kind to you in this process. Every single boundary you work on is a step forward. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Happy Mother’s Day! Try not to let the narcissists in your life get to you. And if they do, be kind and compassionate with yourself. It’s not selfish to do something for yourself and take care of you or anyone else you want to. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Our mental health is so important. Often it's hard to know what to do for ourselves. What to do is much less important than simply doing it. Even if it seems like it's nothing. Take the time to go get away. Any time is better than none. Sometimes nothing is what you need to do. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Boundaries are healthy no matter what narcissists say. They expect you to have none and not ever push theirs. Building and holding healthy boundaries is one of the fastest ways to eliminate the narcissists from your life. This isn’t easy, but it’s possible for everyone. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists want attention. That's one reason they cause chaos. It's the easiest way to get attention. Depending on what they think will get them the most attention, they will talk about being the best, or the best victim. It all comes down to attention. Either way they're better, according to them anyway. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists thrive on chaos. It's the way they control and manipulate everything they can. They say they want peace, but that is the last thing they actually want. The less we react, the harder they have to try. This can end up exposing them. Either way you have more peace. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller No one wants to believe they are or were with a narcissist. This is one of the hardest things about getting out of these relationships. We have to realize we must get out and can’t fix it before we can actually allow ourselves to get out. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists will do everything they can to control the narrative of the story of your life. They will gaslight, manipulate and straight up lie to keep this control. Don't allow them to influence your thoughts. You know what actually happened in your life and your relationship. #grownostr https://image.nostr.build/b374223e0cd7515934fd5c6005732744bf20dfbd4a1bb9eb92f3021f10592a2b.png npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists don’t care about their kids. I realize some may care a little, but they still view them as supply just like everyone else. Everything they do for them is to show they are a good parent. Everything the child does is a reflection of them. Their kids don’t ever get to be their own person, unless or until they break free. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller We all want to give to the people we love. When this becomes an expectation, especially without reciprocation it's no longer healthy. You don't have to give to someone who expects it. Make sure you give yourself everything you need first, then to those who reciprocate it. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It may not feel like a gift in the moment, but being discarded by a narcissist is one of the greatest gifts they can give you. It allows us to get away and to start living our lives without being hoovered back in. Accept and embrace this gift and take the opportunity to move forward with your life. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller No matter what anyone ever tells you. Manipulation and abuse are not love languages. It's not something anyone "has to" or "needs to" do. It is a choice they make. There is absolutely no excuse or justification that can make it ok. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller No matter how much work you do, the relationship with a narcissist will never be ok and they will ensure it’s not. This doesn’t mean it’s hopeless for you, but it means it’s hopeless to have a good relationship with a toxic person. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It feels often like we're in a hole we can't see our way out of. The view is dim and we're not even sure where or who we are. Often we are the ones who must remind ourselves it will be ok. Take cautious steps forward until we start to trust ourselves and our direction. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller If you've ever thought, "It simply can't get any crazier than this." Narcissists will definitely work to prove you wrong. It can and it often does. They will use things against you that make no sense at all. Then they will try to convince you of why it does make sense. It's a lie! npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller No matter what you've gone through. You can make changes in the present to change your future. You also don't have to carry your past with you. It's not easy to let go of, but anyone can do it. Take the time and do the work. You are worth it! npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller May the fourth be with you! May all your dreams come true and may you have peace and love in your life. And if you don't, may you have the courage to move towards the future you want and deserve. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It's hard to watch other people struggling while knowing we can help them. The only thing we can really do is show up and support them if they want to change for themselves. We can't actually do anything to get them to change. They must do that themselves. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller For many of us, we had to venture through and endure a level a darkness that you cannot describe to someone who hasn't seen it. In many ways, this gave us the ability to see everything in a beautiful light we never could see before. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It’s normal to question everything after being in an abusive relationship. We were programmed to think that we are always wrong. This is a lie they used to control, manipulate and abuse us. Learning to trust yourself, your intuition and judgement takes time. Give yourself this time. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Think of healing as more of a game of allowing, rather than something you actively do. Allow yourself the kindness, compassion and space for healing. We cannot force ourselves to give ourselves these things, we must allow ourselves to have them. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller So many of us feel completely spent after going through an abusive relationship. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to go through it. This same strength is still inside of you and it is more than enough to heal yourself from what you went through! #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Hope everyone has an incredibly wonderful day filled with love, kindness and compassion. Most of all I hope you give yourself these gifts. You deserve them! #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists are jealous and everything’s a competition. You have to like them more than anyone else. When this doesn’t happen, since they won’t get better, they must destroy your view of everyone else around you. This, of course, isolates you, but it also makes everyone else look worse than them. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Sometimes saving ourselves is the best we can do. We can't fix or save anyone else and if they're holding us back from being healthy, it's probably time to leave. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The more time and distance we have from something that’s wounded us the better. It helps discharge the emotions a bit and we end up letting go of some of them. It does not heal all, though. In order to truly heal we must consciously do at least some of the work. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The subtle manipulation, abuse and gaslighting by narcissists often leave us wondering if it's actually abuse. No matter how small or subtle. If this is a continuous pattern and especially if it leaves us questioning our own reality, it's still abuse. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists will try to bait you into a reaction while simultaneously gaslighting you. When there’s an issue, they will pretend like they have no idea there’s an issue. Then try to get you to respond back with the issue so they can ask why you have a problem with them. In reality they usually have a problem with you especially if you’re not being good supply or you set a boundary. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists will act like they simply can't comprehend being kind or decent to another person, or at least their target. If you are in a relationship where you need to try to explain this. This is not a healthy relationship. If it hasn't changed, it probably won't. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists not only treat you horribly, but if you say anything about it they will make you feel that this is an unreasonable request. It’s always a double standard. You must treat them well, but you will be abused for asking the same. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The control exerted by a narcissist creates a psychological prison, effectively confining you within invisible walls crafted from manipulation and fear. We cannot break free from this prison until we realize we are in one. Only then do we realize it's an illusion to shatter. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller When you suddenly realize that you are in fact surrounded by narcissists. Begin removing them from your life. Cut off or cut down communication and plan an exit strategy from as many as you can. The process is mostly the same no matter how many there are in your life. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Happy Monday! Hope everyone is having a wonderful day full of peace and love. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller In our desire and work to heal, we often struggle with feeling we're not enough for us or anyone else. No matter what you do or what anyone else says. You are enough just the way you are. We can work to get better and still be enough in the process. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Our minds are masters of trying to create extra problems when there really aren’t any. That’s because our minds are there to keep us safe. Just because there is something you need to work through, doesn’t mean that there’s actually a problem. Separating these 2 things will allow you much more peace in your life. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Even when narcissists tell you they want to talk about things. Nothing could be further from the truth. Their only intention is to listen enough to you so they can manipulate the conversation to turn everything back on you. They don't want to understand, only control. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller For many of us, it seems like we keep discovering more narcissists all around us right after we discover the first one. This may absolutely be the truth. It doesn’t mean everyone else is, but if you had one in your life, chances are you have more. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It might seem crazy to compare mystical creatures to narcissists changing, but this is much closer to reality. They simply can't in many ways and they absolutely won't in every other way. It doesn't cause problems in their life. It causes problems for everyone else. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It would be just as impossible for a narcissist to change as it would for a good, caring, kind person to suddenly decide to be evil, manipulative and abusive. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope everything gets better for you soon! npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The "love" and affection offered by a narcissist is a fragile illusion that's used for control and manipulation. When we begin to see the control and manipulation it begins shattering the illusion of any actual love from them. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists brainwash us in these relationships. It’s hard to let go of “nothing works” partially because nothing ever worked WITH THEM. Once we’re free, we start to realize that things do actually work and we CAN move forward with our lives. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists use projection a lot. They’re always trying to blame us for the things they do to us. They seem convinced because they think they’re innocent and wonderful and everyone else is the problem. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller All of the anger and bitterness we hold towards them hurts us. It keeps out attention focused on them and everything they did. Allow the emotions, but then bring your focus back to you. What do you want for your life and for yourself. This is the path toward healing. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The empathy displayed by a narcissist is a calculated act designed to manipulate, devoid of true emotional resonance. They don't actually have empathy. They have learned how to fake empathy. They only fake it for control and power, never because they actually care. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It’s not worth trying to fix or repair a relationship with a narcissist. It will take a ridiculous amount of work and time to only have it be a little less bad. Work on yourself and work towards getting out. Start over from a fresh non-toxic place. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Even after the end of the relationship, the emotional turmoil caused by narcissistic abuse continues to resonate, impacting your thoughts and emotions. It can take years or even decades to heal from the abuse. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists simply are not going to change. There’s nothing you can do to make them or love them enough. They’re simply unwilling. They don’t care about anything other than their supply. Focus on you and your life and let them stay stuck. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller You don’t necessarily need to eliminate everyone out of your life that doesn’t immediately discard the narcissist also. You may need or want to, but you don’t have to. These people also probably have no idea what they’re dealing with. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The toxic relationship with a narcissist becomes a dark dance that leaves you craving the light of genuine love, happiness, and self-discovery. The struggle is often with the awareness we are in darkness. With the awareness we can begin making steps towards the light. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissistic relationships are kind of like a sunny day when a storm blows in. There is or was sunshine, but you’re also getting blown around and there’s a storm coming. It’s confusing while you’re in it and you’re not sure what’s going to happen. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The allure of affection and promises of change woven by a narcissist create a deceptive trap, luring you deeper into a cycle of abuse. Awareness is the key to breaking this cycle. Pay attention more to their actions than what they say. If these don't match it's a red flag. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Everyone should definitely leave their relationships with narcissists, never look back and move on with their lives. For most people this is difficult and for some it’s impossible. I wish this wasn’t the case, but I know for some, they simply can’t get out. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller It doesn’t have to be chaos. It will probably always be that way with a narcissist though. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Although many of the tactics and abuse may be similar. Every single narcissist is completely different in their personality and tendencies. That's why it's not easy to spot them especially in the beginning of the relationship. Go slow and pay attention to their actions. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists will do anything they can to keep you tethered in their life. They won’t pick up stuff, won’t sign paperwork or anything else they can do to keep some control in your life. Do whatever you need to do to cut the ties. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Thank you so much! Best of luck to you too! npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Thanks! Consultations are free though. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The intricate manipulation tactics form a convoluted puzzle that distorts your perception of reality, leaving you perpetually questioning what's true. Regaining trust in yourself and your intuition is not an easy process and it takes time. Allow yourself all the time you need. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Your genuine emotions, vulnerabilities, and desires are exploited by the narcissist, becoming weapons they use to further their manipulation and abuse. Find safe places away from them to allow these emotions out. Give them as little emotion as possible and always be kind to you. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists view us as nothing more than a disposable water bottle. When they need that water, they definitely are happy to have it. As soon as the bottle is empty and used up, they just get another one and throw us in the trash. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The manipulation tactics of a narcissist penetrate deeply, poisoning your self-perception, self-worth, and trust in others. It not only hurts your emotions, but damages your soul. This is why it takes so long to heal and recover. Take the time. You are worth it! #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Narcissists will try to destroy you and your life no matter if you stay or if you leave. It might be a slower process if you stay, but it will still happen. That’s simply what they do. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller Much like a spider's web glistening in the sunlight, the initial charm of a narcissist ensnares unsuspecting victims who venture too near, making escape challenging. Many of us get trapped. Go easy on yourself and figure a way out. Kindness to ourselves is part of the way out. #grownostr npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller If narcissists can’t destroy relationships for us, they will set us up to destroy these relationships ourselves. They will use every tactic they can to convince us the people around us are toxic or don’t care about us. npub1qupwscvtm4d2u7xl6mwz947z7wav5jhy2zjjelyx69geug0vxfdsp3na9r Kyle Miller The rollercoaster of emotions perpetuated by a narcissist keeps you in a perpetual state of anxiety, unsure of what mood or demand awaits you next. It takes time to work yourself out of this. Be patient and kind with yourself. #grownostr
