geekysteven

memes, jokes, and possibly cute pictures of turtles
(they/them)

books: https://geekysteven.com/books

links: https://geekysteven.com/links

Public Key

npub1qxh9ynjdwj0cmm6d5upex5d7q7vtjdawd5nnts0jejucphe36vtqp5fdg4

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsqrtjjfexhf8udaax6wqun2xlq0x9ex7hx6fe4c8evewvqmucax9spz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsdhppsf

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1qxh9ynjdwj0cmm6d5upex5d7q7vtjdawd5nnts0jejucphe36vtqp5fdg4

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Last Notes

2026-09-03 17:00:00 GMT

Big tech news: Flock cameras now capable of identifying anyone from just their middle finger

2026-09-01 15:00:37 GMT

#DubiousNerdFacts
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/196/379/650/861/639/original/bb1768a537dd0cc4.jpeg

2026-08-24 15:07:53 GMT

#DubiousNerdFacts
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/151/109/777/373/786/original/3ac277c3d72b7ade.jpeg

2026-08-20 17:00:19 GMT

I watched TNG with my daughter and explained how they hired a flute player to play Picard's space flute in-scene. She was disappointed because they should have hired the flute player to teach Patrick Stewart to play for real. Same result, but it would have enriched the actor.
Star Trek wishes it could live in the future like she does.

2026-08-18 13:00:10 GMT

JK Rowling deciding if someone is a woman
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/116/633/730/618/212/original/280b3b8e9f2e4c64.jpeg

2026-08-06 15:00:03 GMT

#DubiousNerdFacts
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/049/157/364/423/378/original/e7128a47fc117272.jpeg

2026-07-30 13:27:02 GMT

- reply

what if I do that and then poob has it

2026-07-28 17:00:01 GMT

I really don't like soul patches, they should release the completed soul on launch day.

2026-07-22 13:00:11 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/963/751/355/706/767/original/a3df11ad64407c3e.jpeg

2026-07-21 15:41:01 GMT

It's called fashion, look it up sweaty
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/958/721/534/379/934/original/da911d768c5561b0.jpeg

2026-07-12 12:15:21 GMT

I wonder if this glut of dying senators is related to the fact that the average age for the position is seventy eleven billion

2026-06-26 13:00:03 GMT

My daughter made this in MS Paint and says "tell your followers I said happy pride, and they better say it back or else"
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/816/530/767/411/157/original/57800850174554a2.png

2026-06-16 17:00:00 GMT

Solar panels are some ridiculous fantasy technology. You're using crystals to summon energy from space? Sure buddy, let's put that on an album cover.

2026-06-09 13:00:33 GMT

The Pride set I want has minifigs throwing LEGO bricks at cops.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/720/273/502/765/989/original/c12bf2bc221d792e.jpeg

2026-01-20 15:00:02 GMT

who up entering the station with their faulty cocks
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/721/852/342/412/795/original/d4b8e0185adea633.jpg

2026-01-19 15:00:37 GMT

meat prices keep getting higher which initially sounds bad, but this is an opportunity for porn producers to set more films in butcher shops and oh no I don't have enough for my meat bill maybe there's SOMETHING I can do....

2026-01-18 13:00:33 GMT

My daughter was asking about the in-universe rules of The Truman Show and I'm like, "we can just watch the movie" But she wisely pointed out that she's not interested in watching a movie, she's interested in asking questions about a movie

2026-01-17 17:51:59 GMT

Weird how no one says they're “just following orders” if they think what they're doing is morally good

2026-01-15 15:16:40 GMT

The purpose of a system is what it does, so the purpose of ICE is to terrorize the United States.

2026-01-14 15:01:02 GMT

In a walkable city, you wouldn't have to drive 15 miles to get to the Love Shack

2026-01-13 14:27:25 GMT

They told me "abolish ICE" was a naive position and I'd wise up. Well, the haters were right, I now see you have to abolish DHS entirely

2026-01-09 21:02:46 GMT

Seeing all these people saying Renee Nicole Good deserved death for just normal shit like being gay or having pronouns in bio should be a wake up call to everyone who thinks MAGA can coexist with civil society. They're talking about you. They've pre-authorized your execution.

2026-01-09 13:00:32 GMT

The thing about Al is that I'm exactly the target market for new technology. You absolutely have fucked your rollout if the trekkie gamers are like, no thanks I want the old version of your product

2026-01-06 13:00:49 GMT

Peter Pan having his shadow reattached by sewing it back onto his body is the gothest thing in an otherwise fairly ungoth story

2026-01-04 01:25:31 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/834/219/692/856/020/original/c2a106aed15eb8eb.jpg

2026-01-01 06:01:43 GMT

Me: 2026 is gonna be my year!
2026:
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/818/319/262/519/965/original/7e878b1040f770ac.jpeg

2025-12-27 13:00:33 GMT

Eventually I bet Sisyphus ended up naming the boulder

2025-12-24 20:00:56 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/594/831/266/516/379/original/a7419542c6306c76.jpg

2025-12-22 22:30:06 GMT

They spent so much time angry at businesses for saying "Happy Holidays" they forgot that the spirit of the season is about being angry at family

2025-12-16 19:00:32 GMT

Starts watching Downton Abbey: ugh, all these foppish dandies deserve the guillotine
Six seasons into Downton Abbey: I love these foppish dandies, it'll be a shame when they meet the guillotine

2025-12-16 13:00:52 GMT

An RPG specifically designed for speed runners where if you get to certain locations ahead of expected arrival times they're still building the set and some of the NPCs are on break

2025-12-10 19:00:06 GMT

Person walking past me: pardon me
Me: I'll never forgive you

2025-12-06 19:00:08 GMT

People act like rejecting the gender binary is some new trend like people in the 80s weren't building a set of shoulder pads that could reach into heaven and poke God in the eye

2025-12-06 13:00:34 GMT

My wife couldn't remember Benedict Cumberbatch's name and called him "scumbly numfkins" and I'm sorry but that's his name now

2025-12-02 13:00:17 GMT

May the times become interesting for the people who've been making it so goddamn interesting for everyone else

2025-11-30 21:00:29 GMT

Telling my kids "it's set in the retro 90s" to get them to watch movies I liked as a child

2025-11-24 19:00:09 GMT

The worst thing about communicating with aliens from their home planet is that the screen shows them as "typing" for 487 years.

2025-11-16 17:21:07 GMT

Eliminating the penny will raise the cost of thoughts to a nickel, so this is consistent with his strategy of raising prices

2025-11-15 19:00:48 GMT

I can no longer send "tips" to the FBI because they figured out I was just tricking them into listening to my demo tape

2025-11-10 19:00:31 GMT

If you get killed in real life, you'll die in virtual reality too

2025-11-07 19:00:42 GMT

Compromise:
we get true universal health care, but it's sponsored by Pepsi.

2025-11-06 20:00:34 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/327/124/504/714/948/original/c28014f24d57023a.jpg

2025-10-30 12:00:51 GMT

That one judge on Chopped that only likes chicken nuggies and ketchup

2025-10-27 18:00:37 GMT

If you're not outraged, you're probably exhausted and trying to exercise healthy boundaries with how you consume media

2025-10-27 14:00:53 GMT

The best sex is like a game of Clue. Six people in attendance, no one's afraid to use a candlestick. Tim Curry is there.

2025-10-23 18:00:10 GMT

Why don't you make like a cannabis plant and exist in a quasi-legal gray area depending on what state you're in?

2025-10-21 16:16:34 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/413/050/596/246/979/original/a1d3e3118e580a41.jpeg

2025-10-15 12:00:51 GMT

My dream job is to run a cozy little bookshop, but without worrying about having to succeed as a small business. So basically a money laundering front where I get to read

2025-10-10 11:04:11 GMT

Braincells? Ugh we didn't need a new way to describe sapiosexuals

2025-10-06 23:53:00 GMT

Legit impressed at the marketing the Bluesky team is doing for Mastodon right now

2025-10-06 19:01:09 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/125/705/411/922/509/original/6fca0ec5d15a62cd.jpg

2025-10-04 14:00:45 GMT

Got in trouble at work for naming the mammogram machine the “mommy milkertron” but if I wasn't supposed to do that, why was the label maker left unguarded like that

2025-09-30 19:00:12 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/087/591/255/150/403/original/379d87b963878287.jpg

2025-09-27 19:00:14 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/087/607/525/404/496/original/2fbaaf48a6ea0d57.jpg

2025-09-24 11:00:32 GMT

Alternate universe where reading the bones is the most popular form of divination and newspapers have a little photo of how the bones fell each week

2025-09-20 11:00:21 GMT

My favorite part in Alien is when Ripley sees the alien and screams “oh no! An alien!” and the alien tells her “from my perspective, you're the alien”

2025-09-18 12:25:21 GMT

Almost all the coverage about the Jimmy Kimmel cancelation skims right over what he actually said because the only persona he insulted was Trump. Any news organizations covering this without the actual words he said about Kirk are complicit in abandoning the first amendment

2025-09-18 02:34:16 GMT

Reminder that when they say they want to go after "leftists," they are including centrists of all stripes in that category. And any right wingers that don't fall in line.

2025-09-13 11:00:51 GMT

“That's not my jam” I say to the police officer holding up a jar of jam he found in my car. Also jam is illegal in this hypothetical world

2025-09-12 22:41:44 GMT

Now that we know it was a conservative white guy we can start the countdown to his being pardoned

2025-09-12 16:29:17 GMT

When Bluesky is down: you just kinda complain about it
When your Mastodon server is down: you poke your buddy who runs it with a stick

2025-09-11 12:21:32 GMT

The political party that legalized running over protesters is appalled at this climate of political violence.

2025-09-10 21:20:50 GMT

You should treat Charlie Kirk with the same compassion he would have given to a leftist activist if the roles were reversed.

2025-09-03 20:00:44 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/926/529/041/133/701/original/7c58c3fea8b87d1b.png

2025-09-02 19:00:52 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/928/518/820/328/493/original/1411beb94a85667c.jpg

2025-08-31 18:00:48 GMT

Someone spoiled Twin Peaks for me by telling me it was "some weird bullshit"
Thanks a lot, now the incomprehensible surprise is ruined.

2025-08-26 23:35:46 GMT

I didn't understand why people were mad about the cracker barrel logo and then I realized they added several invisible lesbians to it
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/097/687/370/684/221/original/09b86fa317b57a60.png

2025-08-23 12:53:00 GMT

Begging the Newsom fans to understand that the enemy of your enemy can in fact be your enemy too. He has not hidden that from you.

2025-08-19 19:00:27 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/847/164/532/181/649/original/c8e3890ac4d56a81.jpg

2025-08-18 23:00:29 GMT

Of course I am only talking about legal justice when they are prosecuted, no other kind
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/849/181/434/774/107/original/6b85e783323918a1.jpg

2025-08-18 19:00:31 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/847/145/342/585/619/original/1770da2d69c27ef8.jpg

2025-08-15 23:00:46 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/848/978/262/513/410/original/e3995ceee7393ee6.jpg

2025-08-11 19:00:13 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/807/716/279/166/640/original/b6f1e0aed09a28f1.jpg

2025-08-11 16:00:34 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/808/004/706/889/129/original/87d24aaa023d3786.jpeg

2025-08-10 22:00:45 GMT

What bothers me about the anti-woke media critic ecosystem is how little it relies on having experienced that media. In my day we had to watch a movie before having a dogshit worthless opinion about it

2025-08-10 19:00:21 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/807/701/042/556/965/original/6edb4007f2280ede.jpg

2025-08-09 19:00:48 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/807/683/115/698/563/original/7e3b1addc01b0b36.jpg

2025-08-05 18:00:44 GMT

🎶I'm a disk, I'm a floppy 🎶
🎶1.4 meg's all I'll copy🎶

2025-08-05 16:00:09 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/759/279/722/179/178/original/af1eac4f29f23f6c.jpg

2025-08-04 19:00:23 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/764/604/471/006/785/original/a3c7f0352f1cb88f.jpg

2025-08-03 18:01:03 GMT

Ants communicate using pheromones. So if you're tired of having ants in your house, you should spray some of the "fuck off" pheromone.

2025-08-02 19:00:54 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/764/504/050/185/738/original/f77df2c1bc2f6180.jpg

2025-08-01 19:00:16 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/764/372/027/547/831/original/607c99c9f3993224.jpeg

2025-07-29 18:00:28 GMT

Arthur: Making an enchanted garment?
Merlin knitting a sweater: *sighs* I have interests besides magic.

2025-07-23 02:34:24 GMT

If I had a time machine I would love to try and explain to the conservatives of the 1980s that the modern culture war is largely the right arguing that their brand of pervert is best for America

2025-07-22 23:00:29 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/683/192/843/492/271/original/b7f3799d9e71d909.jpg

2025-07-21 20:00:31 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/682/493/673/694/993/original/505dc89790367bfa.jpg

2025-07-18 22:00:56 GMT

I rewatched The West Wing and it has not aged well. All these White House workers have predetermined rules that restrict their behavior. Did they not research this?

2025-07-18 19:00:42 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/683/249/361/261/222/original/606b4904138e754e.jpg

2025-07-17 22:00:08 GMT

If God's not real, what do you call that creature skittering about in my attic, hunting my neighbors at night

2025-07-17 00:03:06 GMT

My wife thinks I'm gonna get put on an FBI watchlist just cause keep making terrorism jokes in range of the devices that report us to the government and also because I then write out the joke and post it publicly

2025-07-16 20:00:45 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/682/337/383/348/345/original/cdb58fbf60fd54a0.png

2025-07-15 19:00:58 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/643/500/501/061/007/original/aea463b228a72d42.jpeg

2025-07-15 18:00:38 GMT

My niece had a beta fish and named it "Max" and there was absolutely no way to explain to her why that was funny without immediately turning into a desiccated corpse

2025-07-12 19:00:33 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/643/447/732/425/808/original/a662f451cf675028.jpg

2025-07-07 01:00:07 GMT

Due process isn't as exciting to talk about, but it's a load-bearing right. If you don't have that one, you don't have the other ones either

2025-06-29 22:00:21 GMT

I feel like I'm getting less patient with sales people that knock on my door. I still tell them “capitalism is on fire and I await it's ashes” but I don't have the same cheerful cadence about it anymore

2025-06-29 20:00:37 GMT

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/571/048/243/865/633/original/6eadef5dec3967f8.jpeg

2025-06-29 19:00:58 GMT

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2025-06-26 18:00:19 GMT

Date: I'll have the house wine
Me, trying to impress: The best wine is made from grapes, not houses