Heather Cook🖖Autistic Coach

I support fellow #ActuallyAutistic and #AuDHD humans to undo the effects of living in damaging systems, NT-"shoulds," burnout, and anxiety, to make your own autism-positive life. http://www.autismchrysalis.com 

🟢 Want neuro-affirming insights by email?  http://www.autismchrysalis.com/newsletter   

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@autismchrysalis All videos have transcripts in the description.  

#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #EDS, #Disabled, #AutisticBurnout, #StarTrek, she/her, happy

Newsletter: http://www.autismchrysalis.com/newsletter
Website: https://www.autismchrysalis.com
 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@autismchrysalis 
More from me: https://autismchrysalis.kit.com

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Published at

2026-07-20T04:32:47Z

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Last Notes

2026-07-17 14:51:02 GMT

- reply

It still took several years of trial and error and slogging to get a handle on anxiety, and burnout, and to unmask, and to deconstruct my life and create a life I genuinely love. But I did it.

2026-07-17 14:51:02 GMT

My life got worse for several years before it started getting better. I went through the worst burnout of my life, then figured out some stuff that helped a little, and then went through another burnout.
And that's when I finally got to the point where enough was enough, and I was more afraid of things staying the same than of things changing. 1/3
#AutisticBurnout #BurnoutRecovery #Burnout #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD

2026-06-14 14:48:00 GMT

How do you motivate an Autistic kid? You don't.
You create the conditions in which their natural interest and creativity can emerge. That's when they'll shine.
#Autism #autistic #ActuallyAutistic #AutismAcceptance #Neurodivergent

2026-06-10 14:54:00 GMT

Business doesn't need to be exploitative. It doesn't need to be repressive or extractive.
You can run a business that works toward economic justice for all parties, where you and your dependents get what you need, your clients get something genuinely valuable, and everyone wins.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurodiversity

2026-06-07 14:12:01 GMT

Business is not the same thing as capitalism. Businesses have been around a long time, long before capitalism was even a faint glimmer in the eyes of either Karl Marx or Adam Smith.
You can run an ethical, values-based, neurodivergent-friendly business without buying into the whole system you're trying to get free from. Those aren't the same thing.
#ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #Neurodiversity

2026-05-08 00:39:37 GMT

- reply

Thanks for wanting to help.
Short version: recognize what’s going on before hand and try to identify what is stressing them out and fix it. Or remove them from the situation. Give them space to take care of themselves, if they know how. Do not shame or call extra attention to it. Try to manage other people around them to not make it worse. Give them lots of space and time to recuperate without shame or guilt or making a big deal out of it. Be gentle and compassionate. Don’t require anything from them, including explaining, which can require a lot of energy that they don’t have.
https://www.autismchrysalis.com/2023/09/19/how-to-prevent-meltdowns/

2026-05-07 14:32:03 GMT

- reply

That's not a behavior problem. That's a nervous system doing exactly what nervous systems do under extreme load.

2026-05-07 14:32:02 GMT

- reply

They are an extreme stress reaction. When our nervous systems get overloaded with the sheer volume of incoming information, or bad associations, it monopolizes the brain's resources and drowns out its ability to do anything else.

2026-05-07 14:32:02 GMT

Meltdowns are not tantrums. They are not a choice. They are not manipulative. 1/3
#Autism #autistic #ActuallyAutistic #AutismAcceptance #Acceptance

2026-01-20 14:26:01 GMT

If you are not mean or insulting or hurtful to them, you are not responsible for them being mean to you.
They may be hurtful, but it’s not because of you. It’s because of whatever’s going on inside of them.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity

2026-01-11 19:47:03 GMT

What to Expect in the Later Identified Autism Journey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TS4ntEz_Ids
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/115/878/187/646/803/616/original/27cd80e43852531f.jpeg

2025-12-20 14:17:01 GMT

What if a meltdown wasn't a "bad" thing, but a signal that you're having trouble coping with something? Or that you need something you're not getting?
#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic #BurnoutRecovery #Sensory #Interoception

2025-12-19 20:51:03 GMT

Is it rude if an Autistic (adult or child) spends holiday gatherings in their room, or opt out, instead of with the family?
https://youtu.be/L6NxYEI-M3A?si=l6m8qhhS01BWY_TG
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AutismAcceptance #Acceptance #Understanding
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/115/748/206/151/105/558/original/79a7549c5ed06f01.jpeg

2025-12-09 19:42:04 GMT

Alternative Answers to: "How Was Your Day?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buzv0NdYVSo
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurospicy #Neurodiversity
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/115/691/311/760/137/484/original/d442623c9e8c2bbe.jpeg

2025-12-07 14:12:01 GMT

Who decided that screaming when you get burned on a hot stove is an acceptable reaction, but walking out of the room when people are talking over each other is an unacceptable reaction?
Whatever hurts your senses genuinely hurts, whether or not it bothers anyone else. And you are allowed to feel what you feel, and to take care of yourself.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurospicy #Neurodiversity

2025-11-28 17:54:20 GMT

When you hate being perceived, and are #Autistic, here’s what might be going on:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=k6Ao5sW4oQo&si=K6qAT_ci78EvZLh8
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD

2025-10-28 16:16:08 GMT

Why Finding Your Autistic Community Didn't Fix Your Loneliness (The Truth No One Talks About)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jhbpj7UiZ8
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Neurospicy #Neurodivergent #ND

2025-09-12 14:22:02 GMT

When I was growing up, I was misunderstood a lot. And because my logic seemed so reasonable to me, I couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t get on board with it.
So I generally assumed that if they didn’t agree, it was my fault for not explaining myself well enough.
#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurospicy #Neurodiversity

2025-01-25 14:41:01 GMT

What does the world need to learn from you that you know precisely because of the things that you’ve been through?
#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD

2025-01-20 14:42:00 GMT

Although life is complicated and hard for everyone, as Autistics, we’ve got this extra layer of difficulty because the way the world works is not currently adapted for how we work.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD #AutismAcceptance #Understanding

2025-01-07 15:56:00 GMT

The domestic labor that you contribute to a household saves the equivalent cash that it would take to replace that work.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD

2024-11-25 14:54:01 GMT

Our autistic sensory experiences are just different from a lot of people’s. And when we get messages that it’s not okay to be different, we try to ignore that instead of actually meeting our needs.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD #Sensory

2024-11-05 14:48:00 GMT

You’re not alone. You’re not the only one who feels that. You’re not the only one who’s weird in that particular way.
(And I use weird as like a reclaimed word; I love weird. I love being weird.)
#NeuroDivergent #Neurodiversity #Neurodiverse #ND #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD

2024-11-01 14:23:00 GMT

Some places and people might never be safe in this current version of our world.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD

2024-09-28 14:24:00 GMT

Sometimes we’re so used to not be accepted, or that acceptance being conditional, or being withdrawn later, that even genuine support isn’t believed.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD #ND #NeuroDivergent

2024-08-25 19:27:03 GMT

Aiming for A "Good Day" Is Too Much Pressure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXFpRswS0wY
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/113/024/304/531/229/112/original/aef56d0dec8b4a8d.jpeg

2024-08-24 13:09:01 GMT

Masking prevents us from really knowing ourselves, from being known. And therefore from ever feeling like we’re actually accepted for who we really are, because we’re not showing people who we really are.
#AutisticMasking #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD

2024-08-21 14:47:00 GMT

When you know that something bothers you, but you’re trying to figure out more about it, ask yourself, “what is it about it that I don’t like?”
Is it the fluorescent lights that you don’t like at the grocery store? Is it the chewing sounds at the restaurant? Is it the feel of buttons on this particular piece of clothing?
#ActuallyAutistic #BurnoutRecovery #Sensory #Interoception

2024-08-07 14:21:01 GMT

When we get messages of "you’re high maintenance", "you’re too much work", "it’s not okay to have your needs". That can really hurt, first of all, but it can also teach us that it’s not okay to be us.
#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD

2024-08-04 13:29:00 GMT

A lot of times growing up in our society, we’ve gotten the message that it’s not okay to feel what you feel. What I really, really want to drive home is that it is okay to feel what you feel.
#ActuallyAutistic #AutismAcceptance #AuDHD