Alex C

https://autistics.life/@neuralex

Late-diagnosed #autistic adult hopefully recovering from burnout (it's taking a while tho).

This account is for relatively thoughtful, mental, emotional, neural, neutral, ruminative, supportive, #ActuallyAutistic toots. I'll try to save the provocative toots for other accounts (no promises tho).

Migrated from Alex C has moved (npub1x3e…l9ln) in 2024 after the server slowed to a crawl and the moderator went AWOL.

random and long toots: Possibly a Dog (npub1mrh…6rd6)
mental and emo toots: Alex C (npub1zhn…95tq)
coding and short toots: Alex Chaffee (npub1yq5…yvc5)
vermont pix and politix: [@[email protected]](https://vermont.masto.host/@alexch )

Public Key

npub1zhnprlmak2nulv05l3mdt004uprfywsecttgd7tk7gl3r5fvc4es3f95tq

NIP-05 Address

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Profile Code

nprofile1qqsptes3la7m9f70k860cak4hh67q35j8gvu945xl9m0y0c36ykv2ucpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsd673pc

Publishing to

relay.primal.net

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1zhnprlmak2nulv05l3mdt004uprfywsecttgd7tk7gl3r5fvc4es3f95tq

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Last Notes

2024-11-04 17:32:17 GMT

Good explanation from Professor Sol on TikTok (sorry) of how authentic #autistic apologies and explanations are seen by offended/defensive non-autistics as inauthentic non-apologies and excuses.
This is *not* a case of "autistics are bad at social cues". It's exactly the opposite. It's "non-autistics are bad at social cues from autistics". They hear their own anger over our words. They demand *instant submission*, not constructive mutual understanding and cooperative resolution of an underlying conflict or miscommunication.
But autistics know that an apology without an explanation is hollow! We need to know what we're apologizing for first... or if maybe we really didn't do anything wrong after all.
https://www.tiktok.com/@better_sol/video/7432298940768308511
also this is *not* an "NT vs ND" issue since lots of non-autistic NDs do this to autistic NDs too -- perhaps even moreso than NTs!
#ActuallyAutistic @npub10v4…s27h

2024-11-02 21:04:45 GMT

- reply

#ActuallyAutistic
ironically the terms "autistic" and "allistic" are semantically backwards, at least in this conversational context
autistic folks tend to converse allocentrically (focusing on interactions between others, and systems and abstractions and analyses thereof)
allistic folks tend to converse egocentrically (focusing on their own stories and feelings as they tangentially intersect with others')
(this term reversal is because the dummy who named autism mistook sensory overload and shutdown for pathological egoism and lack of empathy and named it "autism" meaning "self-centered-ism")