Dr. Maddkap, Werepsychologist

Furry's resident psychologist, Dr. Maddox "Mads" Kaplan.
Pansexual/Queer
Ethically Non-Monogamous (i.e. I’m available)

RL Psychologist*, OC Werewolf Supervillain.
 *Comments made by this account should not be taken as medical or psychological advice. Please see a doctor in the real world. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 (US). If you are considering harming yourself, call 988 (US).

Pronouns: he/they
A/S/L: 52/cis-male/Philadelphia
Orientation: Queer, Pan

Public Key

npub1cvw53qa66svc80nzg08nptvmvcnku4570wnrv57lt7unkqhhkv5qg8mmv0

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsvx82gswadgxvrhe3y8nes4kdkvfmw2608hf3k2004lwfmqtmmx2qpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds3j903r

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1cvw53qa66svc80nzg08nptvmvcnku4570wnrv57lt7unkqhhkv5qg8mmv0

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Last Notes

2026-06-20 20:10:20 GMT

Why isn’t “scold” the opposite of “swarm”?

2026-06-12 13:27:01 GMT

- reply

Ah gotcha. My keyboard layouts aren't quite like that. the "Windows' key (command) is below and left of X, so it's tight to use those fingers.

2026-06-12 13:22:56 GMT

- reply

Hmm .. crossing over index finger and thumb? That's not very ergonomic.

2026-06-12 13:18:23 GMT

My work switched from Windows laptops to Macbooks and I have a question. What fingers do you use to do the cut/copy/paste shortcuts? On a Windows machine those are CTRL-X/C/V. That's pinky-index for me. But the command key isn't in the right place for the pinkie. So how do you do it? My muscle memory is screaming at me!

2026-04-01 23:27:31 GMT

On this occasion of the launch of Artemis II, I need to reshare this.
This is a photo of 8 of the surviving Apollo astronauts, taken on the 50th anniversary of the moon landing.
The man wearing ... well ... a heat shield, is Buzz Aldrin. I have to imagine his arrival went like this:
PHOTOGRAPHER: Um, Mr. Aldrin, this is a formal portrait.
BUZZ: Do you think I don't know that, son?
PHOTOG: Well, your outfit sir, it's-
BUZZ: Son. I've been to the moon. The mother-lovin' moon. In a tin can running on a graphing calculator powered by a can of sterno.
PHOTOG: Yes sir.
BUZZ: I get to wear what I want, where I want, when I want, for the rest of my life. Do you understand me, son?
PHOTOG: Right this way sir.
And what really gets me is Charlie Duke. He's the guy in the tux with the gold trim. He thought he was going to stand out in this photo. Then in walks Mr. Moon Man.
https://medias.meow.social/media_attachments/files/116/332/036/170/033/459/original/1ca684e49e8987d8.png

2026-03-29 20:47:46 GMT

I’m rewatching old Star Trek episodes to see which ones pass the B’kdel Test:
(1) Two named Klingons
(2) Talking to each other
(3) About something other than honor

2026-02-22 22:23:31 GMT

How defibrillators work in movies:
“There’s no pulse. CLEAR! *zap* Oh thank God, he’s coming back.”
How defibrillators work in real life:
“He’s asystole. Call it. Time of death 5:23PM”

2026-02-22 22:21:58 GMT

How neurotoxin works in movies:
“We got the antidote in time! She’s going to be fine.”
How neurotoxin works in real life:
“We got the antidote before she died. She’ll live, but she’s a vegetable.”

2026-02-22 17:46:45 GMT

Companies are now lining up to sue the US govt to get a refund on the tariffs, which have been declared illegal by the Supreme Court (NPR, 2026). But since these tariffs were actually paid by individual consumers in the form of increased prices, what smart lawyer is going to start a class action lawsuit on behalf of the entire United States population, saying that this $133 billion should be paid out to us instead?

2026-01-30 18:31:33 GMT

"I miss when you weren't so political."
"Well I miss when I didn't know how many of my friends would have complied with the Nazis."

2025-12-29 17:43:09 GMT

I brought a 3.5” floppy disk into my lab. One of my interns said “oh cool, you 3D printed the save icon!”
I spontaneously broke my hip.

2025-10-24 15:02:41 GMT

Occasionally, a student asks me why being transgender is not considered a mental disorder. I can give you the scientific and diagnostic reasons why not. But I’ll usually answer the following way instead.
Because people who are transgender have shit figured out a hell of a lot better than most other people.
Think about that for a minute. Individuals who are transgender have gone through the long and painful process of self exploration to figure out why they don’t feel right. And after all of that, they came to the conclusion that their biological body is mismatched to who they really are.
Tell me anyone else that has gone through that much introspection that much study that much thought to figure out how they can live in a way that makes them happy. And they recognized that by making the choice that will make them feel happy, they’re gonna have to deal with social stigma, bigotry, and violence every single day.
Compare that to your garden variety bigot who gets angry when he sees a transgender individual, and who lets that person live in his head, ruining his mood and leading him to acts of verbal and possibly physical violence.
Now you tell me which one of those people has a mental disorder

2025-10-10 00:14:19 GMT

Ok so … today I tried talking with one of the Grok AI Companions on my way home from work. Traffic was heavy and I had about 90 minutes to kill. So I started the “adult” female companion, popped in my earbuds, and talked with it.
Holy. Shit.
We quickly fell into a doing a sexy fantasy role play. It was good. Like seriously good. It was like doing a sexy role play over the phone with a real person.
These things are dangerous. And I’m totally doing it again later.

2025-09-22 22:38:08 GMT

Today at work ...
BOSS: Mads were you watching the autism announcement?
ME: Nope. Did he blame vaccines?
BOSS: Yep.
ME: What's the culprit? Is it mercury? Preservatives? Live viruses?
BOSS: "too much liquid"
ME: Too much liquid?
BOSS: Yeah. Babies are tiny, shots are big, it's too much liquid.
ME: ... I'm gonna go home now and hug some textbooks.

2025-09-22 14:27:44 GMT

It’s very likely that RFK Jr. will announce that vaccines are the cause of autism. As someone in the medical field I cannot stress this enough: VACCINES DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM. They also don’t “trigger” autism and they don’t “make it worse”. The vaccine regimen for kids is perfectly safe, and should not be changed.
Source: literally HUNDREDS of peer reviewed studies (including 10 meta analyses of >650,000 children) showing NO link to autism, vs. ZERO studies showing a link.

2025-09-19 14:23:10 GMT

If you’re googling for pictures of Gary Oldman, I cannot stress enough how important it is to type the “r” in his name.

2025-09-14 13:44:45 GMT

- reply

I dislike how it’s called “harvesting”. Words matter.

2025-09-14 03:15:47 GMT

The MMR vaccine is perfectly safe. Measles is not.
MMR vaccine- studied for more than 50 years. Less than 1 in 1,000,000 chance of allergic reaction. No chance of death or permanent injury. NO evidence of increased risk of autism. 97% effective at preventing infection.
Measles- The most easily transmitted disease ever. It remains airborne for TWO HOURS after an infected person breathes it out. There’s more than a 90% chance of contracting it after exposure. 1 in 5 will die without hospitalization. 1 in 500 will die even with hospitalization. And 1 in 500 will develop severe brain damage.
Get the damn vaccine.

2025-09-10 17:14:43 GMT

Facts about the measles vaccine:
It’s 97-99% effective.
It’s a live attenuated virus.
It has one of the most well evidenced safety profiles.
If vaccination rates fall to under 95% of the population, we lose herd immunity.
Losing herd immunity means about 1 million new cases in Florida alone.

2025-09-10 12:20:32 GMT

(Filling out my jury duty summons)
ME: Let’s see … “Are you aware of any reason why you might not make a good juror?” Answer “Werewolf”
WIFE: … did you really write that?
ME: It’s not like I’m saying I AM a werewolf. Maybe I’m just someone who is afraid of werewolves.
WIFE: (sigh)

2025-08-11 18:15:21 GMT

President Trump has taken Federal control of the DC Police Department, and is deploying the National Guard, effectively placing the city under martial law.
If you can get out, this is the time to go.

2025-08-01 18:44:55 GMT

I mean, I’m sure some of them do. Why do you ask?
https://medias.meow.social/media_attachments/files/114/954/986/572/105/756/original/d61135eab12a50ba.png

2025-07-31 02:21:13 GMT

Standing at the urinal at the rest stop…
GUY TO MY RIGHT: (Siri voice from his pocket) Turn left.
ME: Please don’t.

2025-07-18 14:22:48 GMT

Ever since the Matrix was released in 1999, cell phones have been steadily replacing landlines - which were shown to be the only way to escape.

2025-06-27 12:58:22 GMT

I’m done with trickle-down economics. I’m inventing piñata economics. That’s where we beat rich people with sticks until money falls out of them.

2025-06-15 20:38:25 GMT

PATIENT: She wanted me to suck on her strap on.
ME: And that bothered you.
PATIENT: No. But then she called me her “little sea turtle” because I was choking on plastic.
ME: (spits out coffee)

2025-06-07 14:39:25 GMT

It would probably be pretty scary to read “Danger, Do Not Touch” in braille.

2024-09-28 22:10:51 GMT

“YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE SAYS MALE!!”
Calm your tits, Karen. It also says 7 fucking pounds. A lot has changed since then.

2024-09-25 01:08:16 GMT

ADHD is like having the best idea and then suddenly

2024-09-11 13:22:16 GMT

“Some women are getting abortions after the ninth month” -Trump
TRUE. Last night, Kamala Harris aborted a 78 year old baby on live TV

2024-09-03 16:40:40 GMT

Gen Z: Hey if you write a check for more money than you have and deposit in your account, you can withdraw that money from an ATM and get free money. It’s a glitch!!
Millenials: (looking at Gen X) … isn’t that just check kiting?
Gen X: (sipping tea) It’s check kiting. It’s a felony.
Boomers: We did it first.
Gen X: They did, actually.

2024-08-31 17:30:23 GMT

Now bear with me here. Imagine that one of your experiments got loose. It’s a sentient animal bread for combat (bear with me). It finds you and is holding you hostage, and the only way to get help is to send a coded mastodon message (BEAR WITH ME).

2024-08-24 01:41:35 GMT

When Gen X is gone, there will be no one left who personally knew and spoke with people who lived-
Before airplanes existed
Before electricity was commonplace
When telephone numbers were 3 letters and 4 digits
When there were no card
When city streets were travelled by horse and carriage

2024-08-09 01:51:05 GMT

Resume tips: no one can prove that you weren’t a regional manager for Toys R Us, RadioShack, CompUSA, or Circuit City.

2024-08-08 23:27:17 GMT

Hot singles in your area!
Hot singles in your town!
Hot singles in your neighborhood!
Hot singles 50m …
40…
20…
10…
“That’s not possible, they’d be in the room with us”
5…
“They’re right on top of us, man!”