Guitarsophist

Retired English professor

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npub1hascl39gm6dmc7hdmsu0h67aa3nytdmwm4efupcm0um67n72xqgsgd80mk

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[email protected]

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nprofile1qqst7cv0cj5daxau0tkacw8ma0w7cej9kahd6u57qudh7da0fl9rqygpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerfw36x7tnsw43qgzghrd

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relay.ditto.pub

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npub1hascl39gm6dmc7hdmsu0h67aa3nytdmwm4efupcm0um67n72xqgsgd80mk

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Last Notes

2026-06-29 22:19:31 GMT

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@nprofile…pfuj The Chicago World's Fair didn't have a cardboard Arc de Trump though.

2026-05-26 00:47:09 GMT

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@nprofile…pfuj I think that the evidence that the ants are responsible for the graffiti, even given their warlike nature and sketchy name, is circumstantial at best.

2026-05-11 17:24:44 GMT

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@nprofile…pfuj Was the alien insectoid? One wonders. Also, this story set me off to wondering about the political implications of a joy detector. Imagine what awful things an authoritarian regime could do with that. "Citizen! Why are you not deliriously happy in the brave new world that Dear Leader has provided for you?" Or the contrary, "Citizen! You are suspiciously joyful in the midst of your poverty and squalor. What thought-crime are you committing to be in this state?"
OK, I'll go back to thinking blissfully about the happy ant. It's a good story.

2026-03-08 15:23:04 GMT

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@nprofile…l70y I think one problem is that nearly every pundit is saying, "You can't do regime change without boots on the ground," so Trump is going around saying, "I need boots on the ground." In that sense the pundits are escalating the war.

2026-02-07 00:48:02 GMT

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@nprofile…emk6 It's disinformation.

2025-10-19 03:17:57 GMT

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@nprofile…pmx6 @nprofile…x7e5 Or maybe Gitanes.

2025-08-16 19:48:36 GMT

#caturday #catsofmastodon
Teddy is startled awake from his nap and surrenders.
https://cdn.social.linux.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/115/040/171/739/870/623/original/3b25f8e211e2264b.jpeg

2025-06-18 16:38:32 GMT

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@nprofile…3wy7 @nprofile…zezf @nprofile…fflq @nprofile…98rg @nprofile…007f @nprofile…jpfa @nprofile…qtlf I joined Mastodon in late 2022, I think it was when Elon bought Twitter. I found a list of servers, some of which were closed to new users because of the mass migration. I ended up applying to social.linux.pizza because I was running Linux Mint and it was open. I was accepted, then I started figuring out how to work it. After a while, I started using Phanpy.
Some of the things you say are defects or omissions might actually be features. I have been using computers for a long time, though I am not professionally involved with them. My first online experiences were on the GEnie BBS. I also don't use any of the typical social media. I had a Twitter account (no longer), but I only used it to follow the Ukraine war. I didn't mind having to figure out Mastodon. It meant that the users had to have a certain level of commitment and curiosity. I think it cuts down on the trolling and blathering. The necessary information is out there, if you look for it.

2025-06-07 15:40:56 GMT

Here is Teddy sublimely relaxed without a care in the world.
#caturday #catsofmastodon
https://cdn.social.linux.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/114/642/836/139/688/077/original/9c6929f066b4a348.jpg

2025-04-12 19:49:08 GMT

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@nprofile…args Didn't Beatrice Potter write a screenplay for "The Lichen that Digested the Earth" before she wrote Peter Rabbit? Maybe I'm remembering that wrong.

2025-03-08 16:30:26 GMT

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@nprofile…r5mx DEI is an anti-scapegoating program that is now being scapegoated.

2025-02-08 16:08:42 GMT

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@nprofile…r5mx Those examples are dead metaphors that continue as idioms. Good luck battling against them. The language has a mind of its own.

2024-08-14 19:25:28 GMT

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@npub1t00…kx23 Some people would absolutely not know what to do if they became happy.

2024-06-27 02:31:39 GMT

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@npub1842…0kn3 It's such a great book! It would be a good desert island choice.

2024-06-07 17:44:41 GMT

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@npub1nqz…838y One of my colleagues was sure that she didn't have a dishwasher, but when she got home to check, she did.

2024-01-11 02:21:08 GMT

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@npub1jc6…7v67 OK, that works. Not intuitive though. I wasn't following you. Was there an announcement about this?

2024-01-11 00:30:02 GMT

#phanpy When I clicked on a post using phanpy, I used to be able to click on replies and like, boost, or reply to them. Now if I want to do that I have to switch to the standard Mastodon desktop app. Is something broken?

2024-01-03 02:10:29 GMT

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@npub1zdp…vqv8 Argentine ants commit genocide on most other ants. Where I live in SoCal, we have those plus what I think are "Little Black Ants" or Monomorium minimum. When I was young, we used to call these "Grease Ants" because they went after potato chips and such things.

2023-12-16 23:18:19 GMT

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@npub10fm…x0qg Sometimes true things are funny and funny things are true. Alexandra Petri is very good at both of those cases. In this case, however, the true thing is not funny at all, so for me this was a difficult read.

2023-10-28 02:37:36 GMT

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@npub1d62…tshf So, jaunt a bit?

2023-10-21 14:56:25 GMT

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@npub12yj…k8j0 @npub1psd…9sr7 But Wokeism is not a virus. It's caused by the anti-zombie vaccine. The government puts it in the water in urban areas. This explains much.

2023-09-14 16:33:17 GMT

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@npub1psd…9sr7 Batman is certainly a weirdo, but most of the marginalized people he attacks are trying to DESTROY THE WORLD. Ordinary marginalized people are usually not so ambitious or malign.

2023-09-06 00:08:55 GMT

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@npub1aum…5jx0 Well, you'd have to find one that was a priest or a scribe, find a resurrection spell, perform the appropriate rituals in the correct manner, and protect yourself from Anubis, who may be unhappy with your interference. It may also be difficult to persuade the newly resurrected scribe to take on the business. Really, it's a lot of trouble just for proofreading.

2023-09-05 23:53:16 GMT

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@npub1aum…5jx0 Also, it is hard to find proofreaders for hieroglyphics.

2023-09-04 23:34:42 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
It's beautiful, Jason, everything I have dreamed of for so long! The architecture, the gardens, the airships.We have come so far, through poverty and turmoil, through hunger and cold. We are HERE Jason, we are finally here in Tropolis Prime.
It's dead quiet though. No birds, no animals, no people. No life that I can see except plants. I've got a bad feeling.
You always have a bad feeling!
Look, there's a sign in Capacian. What does it say?
"No humans allowed."

2023-09-03 22:57:46 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Floating, waking, floating. Dreaming, I guess. A party. A goat man. A disease. I guess. Or I drank something. Brain fog and swirling cloth. Did I leave the window open? The door? Did I lock the door? I can't rise to see. Eyes heavy. Limbs ache. Is it day? Am I awake? Where did the goat man go? Was he in a dream or was he?
A breeze swirls the cloth. A door has opened somewhere. Time passes.
Oh. A face. At the end of the white tunnel. A goat face.

2023-08-31 02:57:28 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Our pocket multi-dimensional transporter, M-DimPort2, is selling well on DynWorld and generally in Pocket Universe 12. Sales up 12%. See the market penetration scan in the window. We are beating Yo-Matrix in every market.
Yes, but I have heard reports of malfunctions.
Really? What kind?
Hair and fingernail loss after transport. Missing or extra digits. Personality changes.
Oh that. We've taken care of it.
You fixed the product?
No, we suppressed the reports. Easy-Peasy

2023-08-30 19:59:28 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a Your meter is off in the second line. May I suggest, "An idiot, an asshole, and a total fuck up."
Sometimes adjectives are useful for metrical adjustments.

2023-08-29 03:31:14 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Homes Are Us LLC
Date: 12/12/33
From: Orangus Sludge, CEO
To: Architectural Staff
Subject: Metal Eating Insects
A plague of evolved termites ate all of our traditional wooden homes. Hitherto unknown stone worms ate our concrete buildings. We built sustainable houses out of bamboo and grasses. A plague of locusts ate those. Now our metal houses are being eaten by metalvorous murder hornets.
Please submit plans for designs constructed of mud bricks and clay.

2023-08-28 01:44:28 GMT

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@npub1wu7…3d23 @npub1nxt…055a I am just getting back into writing, so I am paying attention to this. But it seems to me that a whole self-publishing industry is very dependent on Amazon and that a slight change in Amazon's algorithm or policies could devastate a lot of authors. It reminds me of the music industry in the 60's when big acts like the Rolling Stones and Credence Clearwater sold millions of albums, but the record companies took all the money. In general, creators don't get paid.

2023-08-27 00:05:09 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
The salamander sandwich was a mistake. Magic and indigestion do not mix well. The indignities of my intestinal track are manifesting in space and time. Perhaps I can find a magical remedy.
The librarian approaches.
Madame are you well? The books are not used to such globes, disturbing colors, or unusual odors.
Do you have a suggestion?
Why yes. I'll write the spell for you.
What language is this?
Sumerian. Do you know it?
Yes.
I speak the ancient words. Ah, relief.

2023-08-26 16:19:54 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a Some of them pretend to work toward a better world, but they are not very good at it. I think for most of them, life is like a video game and the bank balance is the score. They are against anything that makes the score go down, or go up less quickly. In most cases, virtue does not make the score go up.

2023-08-25 20:13:45 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a I think that bondsman is probably a low information voter.

2023-08-25 01:21:12 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
The village was threatened. Monster Slayer was otherwise occupied. She was summoned. By Changing Woman? Hard to tell. There was more than one skinwalker. Trickster Coyote was ambiguous as always. She asked anyway.
Are you part of this? Even the stones think this is wrong. The villagers are innocent.
I observe. But humans are never innocent.
I gather my energy. I will fight. You could tip the balance.
I could. Would it be amusing? For me? Perhaps some future advantage?
Agreed.

2023-08-24 02:45:37 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a Did he give a reason? It's like when they say they are going to impeach Biden, but they don't say what the impeachable offense is. Aside from the cartels, Mexico is a pretty good neighbor. Is he going to invade Canada too?

2023-08-23 23:45:27 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Mothy, what do you want to be when you grow up?
I want to be an attack helicopter!
An attack helicopter? That's so violent!
Moths have a reputation for being sissies that flutter around lights. I want to be strong!
Dragonfly, how about you?
I want to breathe fire and fight knights and stuff.
That's violent too. You must have gotten toxic masculinity.
What's that?
It's when you want to dominate, control, and fight with people and things.
Oh. Maybe I'll be a writer then.

2023-08-21 23:43:58 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Note to self: If the bottle says DRINK ME, don't. Now where did that rabbit go? Got to dodge these bricks though. Do bricks fall faster than girls? Could I use my skirt as a parachute? I think air resistance makes a difference. I'll try it.
OK, the bricks are below me. Whoever is at the bottom, if there is one, is going to have a nasty surprise. But I am going slower. Physics is weird here.
Soft landing! On bricks!
A door. Open it? I guess so.
Hmm. Looks like a tea party.

2023-08-21 16:57:30 GMT

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@npub1psd…9sr7 I have the Logitech one. My daughter gave it to me, so i didn't choose it, but I am happy with it. It is also much cheaper than the Apple one.

2023-08-20 23:49:27 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a Ok, Ok, so the crab drones have built-in 3D printers and they print what you need out of the local not-pixie dust. Maybe like pixie dirt or pixie sand. Definitely not the dust kind.

2023-08-20 20:46:49 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a Drywall is so 20th century. But if the future is roadless, perhaps there will be spider or crab drones to bring building materials to the location of your habitat. Or even better, programmable nano-bots that build whatever you need out of local pixie dust.

2023-08-19 02:22:31 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Why do you kill my brothers and friends? Why do you cut them from their roots and let their sap flow to the ground? Trees are stately, strong, and stoic. They commit no violence against you or any other. They house birds and other small ones. They commune in harmony with sky, wind, and water. They make the oxygen you breathe. They protect you from the blazing sun. Yet you cut them down. I, the Green Man, the mind of the forest, will not stand for it.
It's clobbering time!

2023-08-17 23:35:04 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Calm down Zeus. You hate Thaddeus T. Zelig and TTZ Engineering with all your circuits because they stole my ideas, cut my funding and fired me the day before my retirement plan was vested. They called all my patents "work for hire" and took them. When we are ready, you will walk through the door, ignore the receptionist, march up the fire stairs, barge into Zelig's office, power up like you are now, and touch his metal desk.
Also put your finger in an outlet. That should do it.

2023-08-17 00:09:54 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
I see people with huge brains and big green eyes, Doctor. I want glasses to fix that.
Those are all Matushi, Mrs. Peterson. We arrived 20 years ago. It was on the news.
I don't watch the news. But when I go to the store, I see big-brained people. You look like that too. I'm sure it's my glasses. People didn't used to look like that when I was younger. They look like aliens!
Your glasses are ok. We ARE aliens.
Is it some kind of fad? Like purple hair?
You could say that.

2023-08-16 00:42:25 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Dre Narget waved his guests over and removed a painting from the wall, revealing a locked cabinet, which he opened with an elaborate key.
"This forbidden image was created when we had scientists instead of priests. They traced all life back to this bipedal creature and the organisms she brought. The priests, of course teach that life began when the goddess Visli breathed on Kraynar after eating spicy food. Ridiculous, isn't it?"
In the back of the room, a door slowly opened.

2023-08-15 22:58:44 GMT

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@npub1aum…5jx0 I was joking a bit. But one must consider all the alternatives to big rewrites. Sometimes a new solution becomes apparent.

2023-08-15 21:51:54 GMT

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@npub1aum…5jx0 Couldn't you introduce a temporary psychotic episode and do a Gollum/Smeagol kind of thing?

2023-08-15 00:22:17 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
What are you laughing at, Earthfool? What do you mean what is on my head? This is . . . what do you call it in Earthfool language? Makeup! It's the latest influencer thing. Don't you follow Drainpool4? Sheform is galaxy big! You out of it Earthfool.
We don't get those channels here. I am sorry not to be up on the latest Franzish trends.
What's that you are listening to? It's mega-beaty!
That's the Beatles. They are retro cool. You don't know them?
No. Sorry. What is "love"?

2023-08-14 00:30:24 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
I saw this on News Kids. Rufus NewsDog said it was aliens, but no one knows who they are or what they are doing. Teacher Matt took my phone or I'd take a picture. Why put it here if we can't read it? There must be a way. Which way is up? Maybe it's a rebus. Or a cipher. I could try what I learned from Dr. Sherlock Jonez: Super Detective. Take a word from the surroundings. Find correspondences. I've got it. It says, "Pig whorfin bizzaz banana."
Nope. That can't be right.

2023-08-11 23:36:12 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
I told you that this shark design wouldn't fool the Coast Guard!
Don't worry. They won't drop depth charges unless they are sure what we are.
They dropped something. I heard it attach. It's probably a tracker.
We can jettison the drugs.
They'd still know. Should we surface and surrender?
Not yet. We still might get away.
Say, what's on the sonar? Let's try to get a visual.
It's a pod of Orcas. Lots of them. They're coming fast!
I just remembered. Orcas hate sharks!

2023-08-10 23:56:47 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
It started when I got a cyber foot. I was walking on the lawn while the robot mower cut the grass. Yes, I was watching a video on my cornea implants, and yes, I should have been looking where I was going. One flesh foot and one cyber foot was asymmetrical, so I got another foot. Those feet were better! I started putting money aside for new parts because Insurance Are Us said it was elective surgery. One thing led to another, and now I'm all almost all cyber.
Except for my head.

2023-08-10 01:09:51 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
I had a good job. I was tending bar on Uptown Station at Actulus. It's a crossroads, so you get every kind of species--Draxoids, Blomians, Filagree, even humans. So three humans come in, a girl, a guy, and a non-binary, off the Bogus. They start talking trash about Emperor Gax. Mostly, I'm cool, but this was our Emperor, you know? So I tell them off. They get heated. Then some Drax get involved. A riot starts.
The boss is Raki. I got fired for talking politics. So here I am.

2023-08-08 23:57:30 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Holy Vulcan's nostril! Look at this signal from that yellow sun system. It's some kind of video show.
They sure are squishy and fragile. Did they make the show? Maybe it's some kind of nature program.
No, they have machines.
It's from the third planet. It's frigid cold though. Liquid water all over the place.
They are pumping CO2 into the atmosphere like there's no tomorrow. Be toasting up pretty soon.
Let's land in that volcano and wait. We can take over when they all die.

2023-08-08 01:42:22 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
We are Xillian. Who are you?
Our ship is the Elgin. We are exo-archaeologists from Earth.
Why do you trespass in our space?
We are lost. Our navigation failed.
Do you have . . . weapons?
No.
Are you male? You seem male. Are here to explain things? To tell us we are spindly, pretty, and weak? That we don't understand physics?
Yes, I mean no. We are male, but not the rest.
We could transform you.
Please don't.
We'd do it for gold. Just a little.
Jack, get us out of here!

2023-08-07 17:30:52 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a I am not arguing against love! I do think, however, that love is more complicated than you are making it out to be. MAGA folks would say that they love Trump and country. Can we say that they are using the wrong word in describing their feeling? We won't change their minds or their feeling if we do. If we argue that love is the answer, we are not really unpacking all the things that love can be.
I actually don't think we are that far apart. I am just quibbling.

2023-08-07 17:09:11 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a Perhaps I am wrong about the motivations of the 1/6 people, but that was merely an example. Certainly they were manipulated, but lovers often manipulate each other. Some were undoubtedly certain that they loved Trump, but what it means to love an abstract political figure/entertainer is hard to define. Perhaps our difference is over "governed." To govern is not the same as to oppress or deceive. Bad leadership leads to bad outcomes. Bad leaders often pretend to be good ones.

2023-08-07 16:03:00 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a Are you sure? At least some of the people who stormed the Capitol on 1/6 thought that they were acting in love and courage. Love can be deceived and love and hate can be two sides of the same coin. It seems to me that the factors that are missing right now are civility, which allows us to coexist, and tolerance, which both loves and is governable. And unless we are anarchists, we want a society that is benevolently and usefully governed. Don't we?

2023-08-07 00:10:05 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Agent Gray-sun left me on the software engineer’s desk in hopes that she would try me on. If she does, I trigger my implant needles, infiltrate her nervous system, and download all knowledge of the SolarShield project. Also, I make her a true believer in the Solar Throne vision. But during training I had questions. Is the sun really a god? Is it wrong to try to mitigate its effects? I have doubts. But if I fail, it’s the landfill for me.
Here she comes!

2023-08-06 21:39:55 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a In one high school class the books were assigned by rows. My row got The Great Gatsby. I wanted to read Old Man and the Sea. I was so mad that at first I refused to do any work on it. The teacher sent a letter home saying I was going to fail, so I grudgingly read it. In retrospect, Gatsby is the better novel, but at the time I loathed it. I had no context for it. I was playing rock 'n roll. For my high school self it was boring people doing boring things for no discernible reasons.

2023-08-05 23:29:46 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Only two inches high, Zappazoids were still a formidable foe. A pair of cruisers, no bigger than bathtub toys, had dropped out of warp, shot the bolts off a panel, and inserted mechworms, which had to be removed by hand. Ensign Flores got the spacewalk duty, hoping the Zappazoids hadn't done this just to get a human out here.
A cruiser winked into existence and got in her face.
"Small is beautiful," it said. "Tiny is superior and you are a big oaf."
Then it disappeared.

2023-08-04 23:02:54 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
The man approached the hut of the Knower. It had been a long trek on a dusty trail and a starship voyage before that. The chickens in the yard blocked his way. The rooster crowed his arrival.
A young woman pushed open the curtain and stood in the door.
My lover was on the Gallantine when it was sucked into a black hole. My question: If I enter the black hole, will I see her?
She beckoned him in. Are you willing to endure the eye? It is an excruciating experience.
I must know.

2023-08-03 01:24:23 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Dale Zarkov was an agent of emperor Myang the Marvelous of the rogue planet Mongrel, which was secretly maneuvering into the solar system. Her mission was to seduce Earthling space aviator Dirk Gordon into wearing the Mongrelian mind control helmet so as to become a Myang minion. When Dale tried to slip the helmet on his head during an episode of romantic entanglement, he drew his sparkle gun and stated, "You are beautiful beyond imagining, but I will not betray Earth for Myang!"

2023-08-02 15:39:42 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a Doesn’t that mean that you have to watch stuff at a particular day and time? Or record it to watch later and then never watch it? That sounds horrible.

2023-08-02 00:30:01 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a Reality is full of plot holes.

2023-08-02 00:09:12 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Dan, can you adjust the reality skeen? Probability dopplers are fluctuating wildly, I can't hold it. Ah, that's better. The portal is stabilizing. The fireworks are just quantum effervescence from the intentional matrix. Get the camera probe ready for slow insertion. Wait, look at that bubble! There's tech in it. That is someone else's tech, not ours. It looks like a dimensional overthruster.
lOOK AT bUBBLE! tECH tHERE! nOT OURS. cAMERA pROBE. i SEE dUDES oTHER sIDE!

2023-08-01 00:43:58 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
We came to this school board meeting because you have removed all books about Black kids, Brown kids, Asian kids, LGTBQ kids, and kids with super powers from the school library. Also all books about slavery and the genocide of indigenous peoples in the true history of this country. Truth is a super power. You have some explaining to do.
Those books were disturbing. They made us uncomfortable.
If truth makes you uncomfortable, isn't it your problem? Super team! Fighting stance!

2023-07-25 14:58:29 GMT

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@npub1cz0…wk5s That and CEOs who think it is their sacred duty to make money for their shareholders above all else. Capitalism is like a religion and the measure of virtue in that religion is an increasing bank account, not good deeds or self-sacrifice. If we started paying oil companies billions of dollars to keep the oil in the ground, we might make some progress. But that would not be capitalism.

2023-07-25 00:16:37 GMT

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@npub1cz0…wk5s I have grandkids! I worry about what their lives will be like. Some of us will do what we can, while others are just actively ignorant. Humans are smarter than the average mammal, but too dumb to take care of the planet. But I think that the planet will be beautiful and eco-diverse again after we are gone, though it will take a thousand years or more. This is the sixth major extinction. It is not as quick as an asteroid strike, but quicker than the others. The real issue is money.

2023-07-24 21:33:52 GMT

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@npub1cz0…wk5s Well, even extreme weather, global warming, and all that is still nature. Nature is essentially physics doing its thing and organisms adapting. What's wrong right now is that humans have unleashed a whole lot of carbon into the atmosphere all at once, too fast for most organisms to adapt. Things will settle down again after climate change has killed off all the humans.
At least that's one way to look at it. Sorry for the pessimistic view. There will still be life.

2023-07-22 14:51:29 GMT

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@npub1psd…9sr7 That plot sounds like it requires Extra Strength Suspension of Disbelief.

2023-07-19 22:55:01 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Daddo, the rad counter is highrise today. I am toad sick of wearing a pressure suit and shielded underwear max time. Can't we just move our sit? This house is flimsy scrod! It's toad unpertainable! Flameria lives in a METAL habitude with atmos and no rad. She wears a thong all day. Why canna we?
Dorcus, this orbital is beautiful and sustainable. It reflects our ancient cultural aesthetic. And your pressure suit is very fashionable.
Bong on "fashionable"! Bong on "aesthetic"!

2023-07-18 23:50:27 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Hop! Hop! Hello there! I am a cyber toad. I am also a smart antipersonnel mine. My mission is to hop across this field into that trench full of ENEMY soldiers and explode! Sounds like fun! Except I have an existential question. It seems to me that when I explode, in addition to killing the ENEMY, I will also terminate myself. Is that true? Do toads have an afterlife? Do cyber toads have an afterlife? Is there a toad god?
Also, what is an ENEMY? I should know before I do this.

2023-07-16 23:52:11 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Uh oh, it started out f-ing tubular, but it's getting gnarly. I don't think I am in Malibu anymore. I am spat out from the green room into a white out. It's akaw weird. My board is sunk. The rest of the dudes are gone. Where am I?
There's fire in the water. Can water burn? There's a big light.
Did I drown? If I did, I didn't notice it.

2023-07-15 22:27:09 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
The bunker will be no protection from a hegemonic nanobot swarm. It will consume the whole planet and beyond. But so it goes.

2023-07-15 02:47:25 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Lord Dark, we have secured the city, but there are no citizens or defenders. Those cloud things are descending. I fear . . .
That this is a trap. Duly noted Captain Snivel. Find some citizens. Take some prisoners and bring them to me for enhanced interrogation.
My lord, some of the buildings are turning into mist. I don't think this city is real. We may have been . . .
Magically misdirected. I see. Bring me the map Lieutenant and the seer. I need someone to torture. Now!

2023-07-14 02:18:05 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Jeeze Louise! I get spacewalk duty to repair the thrusters and the cable tangles so I have to disconnect, then my maneuvering jets jam, so I throw my spanner in a direction that I think will get me back to the airlock, but I get a hitch in my arm so I am off by 40 degrees. Can anything else go wrong? Yeah, a Draxian star gate appears right in front of me! If I am lucky I will be picked up by a Draxian warship in sector nine and interrogated for half a century. F-ing duty roster!

2023-07-13 01:01:22 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Dear, an installation team from Quantum Galactic TV is here. Did you order service from them?
I ordered online. It's a science fiction package. The ad had space ships, nebulae, planetary landscapes, really cool aliens. I especially wanted to watch Tentacle Tales of Terror. The trailer was very realistic.
They are on the roof knocking on the window. They do seem to have tentacles. They want to know what kind of brain interface you have.
Tell them it's a Samsung Ultra HD.

2023-07-11 00:48:47 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
All I've got to say is "People who live in glass houses shouldn't mount laser cannon."

2023-07-04 01:51:13 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Alright Grismelda. I know you hate me and my family. These bugs are the last straw. What do you want?
I want your crops to burn, your kin to die. I want your blood to fill my bathtub and to luxuriate in it. I want to be young and loved by demon lovers with big things.
Witch to witch, is that last part what you really want?
Yes, most of all. But I want to be loved for my mind.
Your mind is an evil maggot. No one could love it.
So let's go with your blood in my bathtub.

2023-07-03 14:04:41 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a The quote at the end is from a song on Forever Changes by Arthur Lee and Love, an amazing album totally ahead of its time. He might have said, "We're all normal and we want our freedom." It's been a while.
You know that feeling when you have about 20 characters left and you are nowhere near the punchline?

2023-07-03 03:14:23 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Covid 36 altered DNA. 15% of those infected began growing new body parts--fingers, toes, teeth, sometimes whole limbs. On rare occasions, DNA was imported from other species and humans grew bat ears, squirrel tails, antlers and other impossibilities. The most bizarre cases were sent to the dome to control spread, but mostly to keep them out of sight.
The dome was crowded. The inhabitants pressed their faces to the glass and chanted, "We are all human and we want our freedom."

2023-06-14 00:26:16 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
The ambassador from the Kkkklac Empire will take questions.
You spoke of trade between Earth and Kkkklac. What products do you offer?
We have blood ale, blood soda, blood sausage, and blood souffle.
All blood products? What kind of blood?
We favor mammalian blood. Our heritage makes us quite bloodthirsty.
You want us to supply blood?
As a colony, that would be obvious. You supply blood, we sell the refined products.
What if we don't want those products?
That is immaterial.

2023-05-19 03:38:04 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Or an alternative:
We all live on a demon-haunted ship,
Demon-haunted ship, demon-haunted ship.
We all live on a demon-haunted ship,
And our teeth are oh so long,
Many more of them, does it seem wrong?
And our friends are all aboard.
Many more of them swim ashore.
Don't be afraid of the demon-haunted ship,
We are a plague, we will infect you
With our teeth, we will inject you.
With our mouths, we will ingest you.
And the band begins to play,
Tra la la la lot, tra la la la la

2023-05-19 01:39:01 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Our engines failed. We drifted. The wind died down, but we were enveloped in mist for months. Our provisions ran out and we began to fish, but the fish we caught were strange, with long teeth and elongated jaws. We ate them anyway, pan-fried in olive oil, or boiled when the oil ran out. It was Nicky, the first mate, who first noticed that our teeth and snouts were growing. In his cabin, we heard him gibbering.
Please, let us dock. We are human like you. We won't eat you. Please.

2023-05-14 00:45:01 GMT

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@npub1nxt…055a
Maggie's log 5-13-2223: Nothing happening. I've been out here on the rim of the system monitoring for months. Nothing happening. Sigh.
OMG! That's a Zyraxian Battle Smusher! And there's another one! And a Hand of Vengeance! And 12 more! It's an invasion fleet!
Well, this is why I'm out here. Got to alert Earth Command. But if I send a message, the Zyraxians will know I'm here and send hegemonic nanobots to turn me to mush. And I haven't finished Sylvan Pleasure War III.
Hmm.