Lexie Bean

www.lexiebean.com

stick around & find out

Public Key

npub1s8c5mk68qn0erxrx5waqz7xxk39x5xx2367879eqcv270tqs4tvsf5ewgf

NIP-05 Address

[email protected]

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsgru2dmdrsfhu3npn28wsp0rrtgjn2rr9ga0rlzusvx9084sg24kga2fjny

Publishing to

nos.lol

relay.damus.io

Author Public Key

npub1s8c5mk68qn0erxrx5waqz7xxk39x5xx2367879eqcv270tqs4tvsf5ewgf

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Last Notes

2024-07-13 05:22:43

My anthology-in-progress, “Meet Me There, Another Time,” is featured in PRIDE today. The collection focuses on queer and trans people writing to places they’ve left behind; this is a lil write up of some of the surprises throughout the curation process.
“Where do we escape to? Who gets to leave a place? What does it mean if we love a place that doesn't love us back, or vice versa? How does this all develop our sense of past or future as individuals and as a community?”
https://www.pride.com/voices/lexie-bean-loss-and-love

2024-07-12 02:27:51

Since I’m new to the Nos Creators’ Residency, I’ll take a few minutes to introduce some of my work and what’s cooking for this summer. I’ve recently learned ChatGPT knows how to write a nicer bio for myself than I can haha! But I’ll say a few of my own words here -
I am passionate about generating creative resources relating to bodies, homes, cyclical violence, regionalism, too. In part, it’s finding a way to pay forward some care and nuance after surviving some of the things I’ve survived. Also, I’ll leave my own words for a sec to offer a quote from my pal Heather, “Healing is like being stuck in traffic.” All the cars around ya gotta move if you wanna move. So, here we are amongst risk, and patience, and impatience.
In recent years, my work speaks most directly to the cross-section of trans identity and childhood sexual abuse (CSA). I am especially keen on this as so much of the hateful legislation and rhetoric mishandles CSA narratives as a way to punish and further scapegoat the trans community. I’ve explored this and other DV/SA survivor advocacy through universities, books across genres + ages, protests, essays, creative + tool-building + holiday themed workshops, staff + helping professionals teach-ins, prevention education, filmmaking, performances, tours, etc. This werk, of course, intersects with other lived themes (like suicide, migration, addiction) and unexpected emotional realities (like joy, bro) because we are all complex and (again) alive.
Anyway. Here are some projects very in motion this month -
WHAT WILL I BECOME? - A feature documentary I’m co-directing now in post-production. We have a big announcement related to this project happening this summer. The log line - “More than 50% of transgender boys have attempted suicide. Through two life stories, directors Lexie (hi!) and Logan unravel why their community is particularly vulnerable to living and dying quietly.”
THE SHIP WE BUILT - This is a middle-grade novel I wrote with PRH that is already out! It deals with themes of CSA, gender, incarceration, loneliness, Rust Belt living, imagination as a tool for survival - all from a 10 year old lens in the late 90s attaching letters to balloons. However, I wrote a screenplay version of it while doing the book! I’m dyslexic, have a banned book, and I am deeply aware reading can’t be for everyone for several reasons, and want the story to be accessible. Anyway. Last week, we finally found a first production company to hop in!! After so long (over a year!) of looking. Will be glad to share the who’s-who of that later this month. And will be glad to share lil windows into that process of giving something so special to me another way of living. Also, bro, this is the kinda project and stage where if you wanna help make it happen - talk to me!
MEET ME THERE, ANOTHER TIME - This is an anthology I’m putting together for JKP (Hachette imprint) and wow it is due end of NEXT MONTH!! ah. This is my second anthology with them. This one is focused on queer and trans people writing places that they’ve had to leave behind. I am excited n curious to think about other shapes this project can take, but gotta finish this step first!
There are several other things in different shapes and stages, such as a book relating to tables and a v special roller skate x saxophone collab, and maybe you’ll hear about those. I am also really wanting to develop a documentary about the cross section of CSA and anti-trans rhetoric - talk to me if you wanna get in on that somehow?? I’m feelin a bit on fire with this topic. (Are you?)
I’ll close with some things I love - pie (gluten free), feta cheese, feta cheese in pie (spanakopita), my cat (below), risk (the feeling - NOT the board game), surprising myself & being a beginner as often as possible, teaching roller skating and finding other ways to support people in their agency. I’m pretty deep into a dance form called contact improv. Helping out @npub1wmr…g240 (they’re the reason we are all here!) part-time is a really neat thing. And, in an alternate life, I probably would have pursued wildlife conservation work and animal welfare.
I don’t know. You’ll learn more another time! Or not! Congrats if you read this all the way to the end.
Closing out by shouting out a few other groups in this residency cohort who I have admired for a while! @npub1u5n…vv2r @npub1j4s…tlyh @npub1z3t…2du7 https://image.nostr.build/26846c948112cec514b5b82339be023295edc21aee738f1428fdffc000e6d338.jpg

2024-06-28 01:37:33

Woo, come thru NYC for this event July 16th! “Redefining the future of digital journalism.” @npub1j60…d7ua will be speaking, as well as Patrick Boehler (who helps journalists in authoritarian regimes get their stories out), and Jeff Jarvis (journalism professor!) Glad to be a small part of bringing this all together. Here’s more info with registration link at da bottom.
With the implosion of Twitter / X, new social media tools have emerged designed specifically to counteract the damages wrought by corporate owned platforms. Putting the user at the center enables a new era of audience interaction and connectivity. This event will feature journalists and technologists using and building tools for a new digital future for journalism - one in which journalists and publishers retain agency in ways that have previously been impossible in the Web 2.0 era. Topics include:
- Establishing reach outside of the algorithm-dopamine machine
- How to build one audience across multiple applications & the social web
- Experimentation with micropayments
- Censorship resistance for journalists working in authoritarian regimes
- Discourse distortion via trolls and state control
https://lu.ma/p1qy049p

2024-06-14 03:53:59

facilitated a workshop today for people struggling with fathers’ day. here are some of the prompts we explored in case you’d find any useful for yourself -
(1) create a map of the distance between you and your father. (2) if you’re thinking of talking to your father on this day, how do you navigate performance of saying “happy fathers’” day or forcing gratitude. (3) what are rituals/activities you can do when not wanting to reach out to anyone that day - routes to extending the celebration to yourself. (4) where do you find alternative fathers? &, at the end, we took some time to list out some of those alternative fathers, many were teachers, friends, co-workers, youtubers, and reach out to a few we could.
i’ll be doing one more on fathers’ day and building around the needs and ideas of people who show up. you can message me if you’d want to join last minute <3 - it’s virtual and sliding-scale.

2024-06-14 00:53:11

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yayyy

2024-06-14 00:52:57

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@npub1u9t…579m

2024-06-10 17:05:39

https://image.nostr.build/2529f9c97c676168eca2ae7a7b053249260914a24b1ba9229239988848156cd3.jpg
I invite you to take in the awe Susan felt at these pink flowers. We rolled by them at Washington Square Park after the dentist. I didn't know this photo I took would be the last picture ever taken of her.
This weekend I said goodbye to my dear friend at her NYC memorial. She was the closest I had to family in NYC. I had been one of her primary caretakers for the past 7+ years. We met initially because she needed someone to take care of her cat Max after she had a back surgery. The three of us quickly became close. And, years later, I'd be taking a walk at midnight and run into her as she held Max on the street. Max was about to die. She got in the car to the emergency vet together, and he died between us. Whenever there would be a lull in a conversation between us, she'd bring up that story with wonder and a loving crack in her voice.
And, years later, we came to find I was also with her the day she died. She, even then, had her own ways of experiencing awe. I played her songs - her favorite the Dolly version of "I Will Always Love You," "How Deep Is Your Love," and her eyebrows raised and her feet kicking. The flowers were out the window that time. I guess, I wonder what's next?

2024-06-07 21:45:17

i'm taking a little time to learn more about other other nostr apps. which are ones you find particularly interesting or useful to your life?

2024-06-05 20:27:22

on june 13th & on fathers’ day, i am hosting a sliding-scale virtual workshop for anyone who also has a tough time with fathers’ day. i have been working with dv/sa survivors for 15 years, and will be keeping that community in mind as i hold the space. if you’re interested, you can message me on primal and i can send more information.

2024-06-03 00:25:58

Reflecting recently on queer & trans safe places online and what the heck that means. For me, AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) was the first place I experienced where the scary questions could be asked. What spaces were vital to your exploration? What would Nos need to also provide a place for lil hidden pieces of ourselves?
Here is an essay long ago me wrote when AIM was officially shut down - “I didn’t know what I would grow up to be, other than afraid… In our suburban world, my friends and I struggled to find ourselves. Maybe sharing our histories out loud would have made them more real.”
https://www.them.us/story/saying-goodbye-to-aim

2024-06-01 02:16:59

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could you further define anti-social behavior?

2024-05-29 22:03:32

https://image.nostr.build/898f888e6fda0ca67440f6e8f55fa4c7c5bbada198efac26dc1c1d27ba70aa07.jpg
having a lot of food for thought this week after having my @ ricepuddingfairy account suspended on IG for sharing in my stories about the tent bombings in Palestine. this was already bookmarked with a picture of a waffle and generic grief poetry to avoid getting shadow-banned. trying to turn to more spaces like this with hope for our movements.

2024-05-26 23:12:04

With Pride Month around the corner, her is another former essay focused on the cross section of trans / non-binary community and DV/SA survivors.
“To be a survivor, to be trans, is to be tricked into believing your body is inherently a burden, in the way of a destination that someone else decided on for you. Named with a gender that was never mine, my body was put in places it didn’t want to go. I have suffered the most when other people find beauty in the wrong things.”
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/what-transisbeautiful-means-to-me

2024-05-21 19:01:43

come be a co-worker & help build this very app you’re using <3 there is an opening for a part-time DevOps position & a contract Lead UX Designer for IOS.
https://www.nos.social/careers

2024-05-19 20:07:39

making wonderful progress on this feature documentary project, and i’m excited to share more news later this summer <3 in the meantime, get to know WHAT WILL I BECOME?
logline: More than 50% of transgender boys have attempted suicide. Through two life stories, directors Lexie (hi!) and Logan unravel why their community is particularly vulnerable to living and dying quietly.
https://www.autostraddle.com/what-will-i-become/

2024-05-19 20:04:18

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my brain needed this

2024-05-16 21:00:57

As we are getting closer to Pride Month, I will be sharing essays and work I’ve generated honoring fellow queer and trans people who have survived DV and SA. This is in the face of some wild legislation that often co-opts the stories of those of us living at this intersection. This is “Valentine’s Day Letter To My Body Parts” with Teen Vogue - which details my journey of how I started writing letters to my body parts.
"For years I went in and out of the hospital without a diagnosis. I was simply afraid of my body — heavy with the question, “Will anyone believe me?” I closed the notebook onto my lap, IV dripping into my tired veins, it is from there I started writing letters to my body parts. I had to make it better by carving out a place for myself instead of carving into my own skin.
"I am trans. From a young age I was sexually and emotionally abused. I rarely place these sentences next to each other because I don't want anyone to confuse my trauma with my liberation. Forced into someone else's destination, nothing about rape taught me to be honest with myself. I grew from a place where telling my body’s truth would uproot everything. Language was used to manipulate my boundaries. Silence was better. The hurt said it was best to become a see-through version of myself so I don’t have to keep falling into the trauma of fallen toys.”
full piece here - https://www.teenvogue.com/story/trans-valentines-day-letter-to-body-parts

2024-05-10 17:43:29

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also fun to see you in this @npub1wmr…g240

2024-05-10 00:26:37

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one of life’s big questions. i’ll plan to watch this. thank you.

2024-05-10 00:23:39

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this is a useful lil dictionary, thank you

2024-05-09 23:58:32

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this is great, thank you!

2024-05-09 21:24:12

I am very new to the concept of Nostr! If any of you have links to articles, videos, or other types of tutorials for newbies to get a stronger grasp - drop them in the comments :)

2024-05-02 17:39:38

https://image.nostr.build/d0a0b082aeb2d1b1039007c6e1c466840d766509f72b0b9720d0ef590ba03612.png
TODAY - we are gonna be showing for trans youth, and trans girls especially, in sports. I arrive as a long-term babysitter for the neighborhood. I plan on speaking based on my experiences as a trans person, former nationally-ranked youth athlete, and childhood sexual abuse survivor. These narratives of protection being used to limit ideas of bodies, agency, future, and ultimately harm survivors of DV and SA, have got to go. Come through for today’s event & bring your voice + open heart.

2024-05-02 01:08:28

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yes! i was having the same thought

2024-04-26 01:03:45

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i’m def more interested in the ongoing sequels of this than the actual avatar movies.

2024-04-26 01:02:33

This anthology on conversation therapy that I contributed to is now available for pre-order.
https://bookshop.org/p/books/shame-sex-attraction-survivors-stories-of-conversion-therapy-lucas-wilson/21360797

2024-04-23 20:27:13

https://image.nostr.build/b6ce76a32c14c5cb9913a44eb28b76cd715d9abe12161c215c5e899675cff64a.png https://image.nostr.build/59bacbff5e4cb2539e5011abc464c058ae2672cdea837bc4921d81e2c74f1856.png
Looking at u looking at me looking at me looking at you. To be seen by Caroline was to be celebrated, assured, and it was so deeply comforting yet scared the shit out of me because I did not think I deserved that. We got to know each other in the densest of times, and in moments we never thought to take pictures because what we shared, what was said in the dark of my room in mental health slumber parties, lonely night arb walks, and in art classes where I sat in my towel and you had your snacks that you were so proud of. I love you, Caroline. You were ready for me before I was ready for myself. If you were a close friend of Caroline, and would like access to a group chat where people are sharing memories, photos, and post-funeral grief plans - let me know.

2024-04-15 21:32:22

https://image.nostr.build/d8102505811e419f4502b000ea572124b86655971a4bbc2c15da3b6c6da0108f.png
Today is the last day to submit for my anthology-in-progress - “Meet Me There, Another Time,” filled with letters that queer and trans people write to places they’ve had to leave behind; Jessica Kingley Publishers, est. 2025. You can read more about the project in this essay I did for Autostraddle below. If you’re seeing this on Nos, and need up to a week extension, let me know <3 There have been beautiful & difficult submissions sent to cities like Moscow, Denver, whole countries like Turkey, as well as more abstract places, like fathers, a mother’s dream house, and a past version of ourselves.
https://www.autostraddle.com/meet-me-here-another-time-trans-anthology/

2024-04-14 21:44:30

https://image.nostr.build/a4785468156cbf85323417613fe3abe07f232815ba2ae241db6fda1a5135e8db.jpg
thinking about camping spots for sometime this summer, and would love any reccos. here’s a sweet moment from camping death valley this past winter - where there was a rare, rare moment with water.