I was once called the terror that quacks in the night and I'm damn proud of it.
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npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m Profile Code
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Published at
2026-10-21T01:08:25Z Event JSON
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"content": "{\"name\":\"helplessduck\",\"about\":\"I was once called the terror that quacks in the night and I'm damn proud of it.\\nMortal enemies: commas, typos, bigotry, fascism, asymmetry, ultra-processed foods. \\nCall me: He/Him/Michael/Arrogant Jackass.\\nNo particular order. \\n\\nFollow me for clever tricks, miserable advice, and pedantic tomfoolery. \\n\\nIf I post about politics, I assiduously tag with USPol.\\n\\nHeader Image: Black box.\\nAvatar: Adobe Firefly generated golden duck on a pond with a castle in the background.\\n\\nLocation: A little pond in the middle of nowhere.\\n\",\"website\":\"https://mastodon.online/@helplessduck\",\"picture\":\"https://files.mastodon.online/accounts/avatars/109/274/803/388/386/359/original/91a73ba5565532d3.png\",\"banner\":\"https://files.mastodon.online/accounts/headers/109/274/803/388/386/359/original/4495d6729c1a4f76.jpg\",\"nip05\":\"[email protected] \"}" ,
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Last Notes npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Eastern North Carolina BBQ related violence is just as real as the dairy aisle-roaming housewives with switchblades. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck *passes you a joint* npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Cue up the Hypno-toad noise from Futurama. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Quake with fear, you tiny fools. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Think about what it means in a city with surging homelessness that AirBnB has committed to housing more than 25,000 people displaced by the LA fires. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I'm going to have to have a discussion with one of my instructors who asks us to use an AI tool to improve our writing in a Professional Writing class. I'm not at all comfortable feeding my work to the beast. I think there needs to be a clear opt-out policy. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Get a warrant. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Motion to rename Consumptionmas to Gluttonmas, so that "consumption" can be associated with Black Friday. And TB. I'm dreaming of a TB outbreak... npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck One of my nicknames for this doofus is Doodle. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck This is still happening. STILL. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck They'll resent you for it, perhaps to the grave even if we are proven right. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Yep. That about sums up *checks notes* everything we've seen in the legacy press lately. They're handing that petulant bastard and his army of knuckle-dragging sycophants everything they want because the owners want to keep their money. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck 35 minutes spent looking for parking today. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Stop talking about your faults! npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Let's hear more about my sad mommy. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck A lot of our pharmaceuticals are manufactured by India. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck A Republican just admitted Reaganomics is a failure. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck THOSE EXPERTS WERE REAGAN REPUBLICANS. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck What economic boom? npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck This idiot doesn't know how the government works. This fuckwad is a senator and doesn't understand shit kids learn in fifth grade social studies. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck "...ASSISTANCE FROM THE ON SITE EMPLOYEE"?! [emphasis added] npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Why are we seeing this in the French Papers, and not here? I don't even see it in the LA Times. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck It actually IS a mostly silent Sunday, so, naturally this little frippet insists on doing the Ultrasonic Tail. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I've seen a couple bingo cards. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Point of order: npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Cats doing the herding. But not of other cats. I don't think that even cats are foolhardy enough to try to herd cats. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I feel like using cats as herding animals would lead to a lot of unnecessary chaos and pointless death. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Her Ladyship insists that she not be disturbed while she takes her Caturday morning stories. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Another prescient example is how little attention was paid to AI until it started harming famous people. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I know the answer. Still, I can't help but ask. Why on earth are we being made to care about one rich asshole and a handful of his friends who died on that boat? These priorities are so fucked up. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Trouble is almost everything that might have needed replacing stopped malfunctioning when I stopped drinking. I guess I could eBay it... npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck It’s Tofu. I swear, it’s tofu. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Ice Princess npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Gardens were weeded. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I'm not sure what's more entertaining. Watching the Democrats finally get their shit together and actually -finally- campaign against a sociopathic man-child or watching the sociopathic man-child's campaign continually slipping around in the mud that Harris & Co. are slinging. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I keep warning people. No. The last thing we need is for that mendacious son of a bitch to die. He needs to live for ever. You think his knuckle-dragging sycophants are bad now? Give them a martyr. See how fast we're much farther fucked. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Oh no. Keep that up and you'll no longer be able to shop in ANY maximally anxiety-inducing environment, dodging falling ceiling tiles for overpriced goods you don't need from stores that should have been bankrupt a decade ago. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Yo, is that one of those online gig jobs like training AI (Outlier, TELUS,&c.)? npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Look at these little things! So pretty now! npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I've been struggling with a conflict between my grandmother and I for a few weeks. She made racist comments and is refusing to be held accountable. I'm kinda lost for what to do. I've been really close with her my whole life. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Nahh. I'll spend a fortune on my water bill before it gets that bad. It just means a lot more weeding. I wish I could find a decent source for clean hay. Even the stuff the Farm Witch said was "guaranteed" clean was far from it. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Not really. I hadn't considered that. I probably should for next year because I do plant pretty dense. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I've got the monitors on the ends of my arms I was born with! 😁 npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck @npub14yg…wdxt npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck We don't have rain in the forecast until the 25th? Only 5 mm? npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck It's a little sad that the fiscal upside will be what we have to keep hammering to sell these kinds of programs to pretty much anyone, instead of the almost universally beautiful human upside of what happens when the state flies close to fulfilling it's simplest function: distribution of resources equitably and without a ton of gatekeeping. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck It really is just a binary. I was ill for days after voting for Hil' Dawg in 16. BUT I DID IT. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck In case you couldn't tell, I resent being lumped in as a Biden Supporter just because I'm going to hold my nose and vote for a man who will preserve these people's right to even have an opinion on what happens in government. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck They'll have double it, too. A lot of us will be absent from that protest, one way or another. Shame, too. I'm scary good with firearms. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck What WILL those signalling from their moral high horses they're not voting for Biden feel if dippy gets reelected due to their privileged, myopic intransigence and suddenly all the LGBTQ+, migrant, woman, non-christian, non-white folks in their lives become chattel? npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Since we all have to listen to the constant bitching about AI and the enshittificaton of search engines, I don't want to see one more person being castigated for asking a question on social media that could have been answered with a cursory search. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I'm getting really sick of gMail using the Youtube Kindle Fire app as the second 2FA factor. Yes, there is a Kindle Fire in this house. And yes, it's using my logon credentials. But that Kindle belongs to the cat now. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Huh. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck No idea what that was all about. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck The page on the Microsoft website has stopped loading altogether. Even in Edge. npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck The System Restore in the BIOS looks handy. There's a 350MB partition showing up in gParted, that's what that's got to be about, right? npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck I've not reset a Windows machine since 7. I set my daily driver (WIN10) reset, walked away. An hour or so later after some yard work, I return to find a login screen with a @npub1ytc…8yq2 image as my background. Curious. All of this was supposed to be gone. Pass my creds, it throws a User Profile Svc error "Can not be loaded." npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck How do you tell a grown-ass adult to stop leaving greasy food hand prints all over microwaves, refrigerators, drawer pulls, faucets, doorknobs, and clean dishes without coming off as passive-aggressive and bitchy? npub1akzgetmt66wxcvn2q3xgx45rx0936gux4pk3kxeltf9v8ns68njsae4t5m helplessduck Is there such a thing as Maritime Lawyer Fediverse?
